Lost in Texas Ch. 05

They had arrived in Haddonfield and had asked Mr. Price if they could stay with him. Heather's mentor wasn't one to refuse Heather much of anything. Laurie thought the whole thing very surreal. Heather's father's house was right down the street, but Heather wasn't going to stay there. It just seemed wrong to her. But her opinion changed when she finally the man in question. Heather's father, whose first name was Jeremy, was a widower less than two days, and it smelled like he had been drinking that entire time. Heather had gone to pay a courtesy visit, and Laurie had gone with her. The house had been slightly cleaned, but there were still beer bottles and cigarette ashes all over the place. Windows had been boarded up when broken rather than replaced. Mr. Englund had actually leered slightly lecherously at Laurie when he had first seen her, but that turned to disgust when he discovered that she was his daughter's "dyke friend." Just being around him for ten minutes made Laurie's skin crawl. One of his poker buddies came over and made some offhand comment about making "a real woman" out of one or both of them, and Heather's father just laughed. Heather's fist had clenched and her whole body was trembling in pure rage, so she decided it was best that she cut the visit short. Heather's mother wasn't even in the ground yet, and her father's friends were whistling at the two of them on the way out the door.

They had avoided any further contact with Heather's family and "friends" until the funeral itself. The preacher's words seemed so hollow during the ceremony. They were the generic things that were said about generic people when no one cared enough to write anything else. Heather's mother had been a chain-smoking alcoholic who had always looked the other way when Heather was suffering her father's anger, mostly because it meant she didn't have to take the blows herself. She had experimented with drugs and adultery, and both had left their marks. The most skilled mortician in the world couldn't make that face look peaceful. Heather's mother had died a long time ago, but her body had simply kept moving around and taking up space. Laurie glanced around at the other attendees. 'How did someone like Heather come from a place like this . . . from people like this?' Laurie thought. 'How could someone with as much passion as she has come from two people with no passion at all?' She looked at her girlfriend and gingerly took her hand. She felt Heather accepting her hand and gripping it tightly. The blonde girl felt a tear developing in the corner of her eye. She admired Heather more at the moment than she had in the rest of their relationship together, and that was saying something. And the strangest thing was that the tear in her eye was probably the only one shed at that event.

The wake itself was the most uncomfortable thing Laurie ever had to attend. A woman, however sad she may have been in life, had just died, and no one seemed to care. She wondered if many of them even really noticed the woman was gone. But they noticed Laurie though. They noticed an attractive woman on the arm of another attractive woman, even though one of those girls was the daughter of the deceased. Laurie was sickened when she and Heather were actually propositioned while they were supposed to be mourning the loss of life. Finally, Heather had enough. She grabbed Laurie by the hand and headed towards the door of her father's house.

"Where do you think yer goin'?" the man slurred. "Yer runnin' off to do that bitch of yours, ain't you? You got some nerve comin' here and flauntin' your perversion on the day they buried yer sweet mother."

Heather stopped in her tracks. "Laurie," she said with eerie calmness. "Could you please step outside for a moment."

Laurie realized that this was one of those times that she probably shouldn't argue. She stepped out onto the dilapidated front porch and closed the screen door. She left the main door open a smidge, having a burning need to know what was going on.

"What?" Heather's father said. "Got somethin' you wanna say, you perverted little . . ."

"Father, you can either shut up or I can shut you up. Decide now." The room went dead quiet. Most of Mr. Englund's friends were looking forward to this confrontation with almost sadistic glee.

"I'm not too old to . . ."

"Yes, you are too old," Heather interrupted. "You're old, drunk and worthless. You may have been able to beat me around when I was little, but I've grown up. Now, I can hit back." Several onlookers began to look very uncomfortable. They generally accepted what had gone on in the house over the years. Hell, similar events probably transpired in their own homes. But like most dirty little secrets, it became a truly distasteful thing when exposed to the light of day.

"You wouldn't dare," her father started.

"Yes, I would. I put up with your shit for eighteen years," Heather almost growled. "And I put up with hers," she said, looking in the direction of her mother's picture. "But if you say one more word about Laurie, so help me God I'll beat the shit out of you right where you stand." Laurie moved over and glanced in the window. Heather's father actually looked dumbfounded. He was a bully and an abuser, and those were always uncertain on what to do when actually confronted. Something made sense to Laurie all of a sudden. She understood why Heather had reacted so vehemently when Jamie had emotionally used Alice. Heather had seen that as a way of lashing out against the abuses that she herself had suffered. And now, Heather was standing up for Laurie.

"I've got half a mind to . . ."

"I told you to SHUT UP!" Heather shouted. "I get to talk now! You don't have 'half a mind.' You drank your entire fucking brain away years ago. You are NOTHING! Do you hear me? Nothing! You're the filth under my fucking feet! That girl outside actually loves me, which is something you and Mom never did! And she does it unconditionally! That was something you were supposed to give me. The only thing YOU ever gave me was bruises and disappointments. I had school pictures taken with bruises you left and bones you broke. Well guess what Dad? You didn't break me! You can't hurt me anymore, and you'll never get a chance to hurt Laurie. I only came back because Mom gave me life, and I owed her for that at least. You never gave me anything except the hope that maybe I'm really the mailman's daughter. Because it would be better to never know my lineage than it is knowing that I'm actually related to you!"

Mr. Englund's face was contorted in rage. He took one step forward, but that was as far as he got. Heather kicked him in the groin and then punched him in the face as hard as she could, dropping the inebriated man in his tracks.

"Goodbye Father," Heather said, her voice calm again. "I'm done with you." And with that, she walked out the door. Laurie met her there, half expecting her girlfriend to be crying or raging or something . . . but there was nothing. Heather's face was as composed as her voice had been. The two girls headed down the street to Mr. Price's house, hearing the laughter of the crowd directed at the man who had just been put down by his own daughter. Heather never looked back. That was the last time she would ever see her father.

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The plane trip home . . .

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Heather and Laurie had an early flight the next day. They sat towards the back, chatting idly about airplane food and other trivial matters. Laurie wanted to talk to Heather about what had happened. She was worried, since her girlfriend didn't seem to be grieving at all. Apparently, her confusion was apparent.

"Don't over-think it," Heather said with a slight smile. How many times had she told Laurie that? Then the dark-haired girl placed her hand gently against Laurie's cheek. "I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"I think I needed to," Laurie returned. "I don't know if I ever would have understood you the way I want to if I didn't get to see where you came from. I just wish it hadn't been so hard on you . . ."

"But it wasn't," said Heather with a look of curiosity playing across her face. "It wasn't hard at all. The only thing I feel bad about is that I really didn't feel bad. Does that make me a horrible person? I couldn't even bring myself to grieve at my own mother's funeral."

"Then maybe all you needed was closure," Laurie said softly. "Maybe it was your past you were burying, not your mother."

Heather settled her head on Laurie's shoulder. It was odd, since Heather was usually the one doing the comforting. Laurie stroked Heather's hair and kissed her on the head.

"We couldn't even bury her like a normal family," Heather said, referring to her mother. "You know that when I was younger, I would go and peek into other people's houses. Most kids my age would pretend that they were cops, robbers, firemen or famous actors. I would fantasize about being normal. I would dream about sitting around with my parents and laughing about things and eating meals together and going on vacations together. I just wanted a real family," she whispered.

Laurie was almost at a loss for something to say. She realized on that trip that she had vastly underestimated the abuse that had gone on in Heather's life. When Alice had been in a state of denial after the incident with Jamie, Heather had told their friend that she knew the signs of depression because she had been there herself. 'How long were you hiding in those deep dark places?' Laurie wanted to ask. 'And how did you survive?' She made a mental note to do something really special for Mr. Price someday and to give Liz a great big hug when they got back to the ranch. Those two had been the only guiding light for a young girl trying to find her way to a better place.

"You have a family," Laurie said. "You have me. And you have Alice, Mr. Price, Liz, Mary, Jenny, Mike, Michelle, Freddie and Jane. And all these people are your family by choice. They're your family because they love you and see how wonderful you are. And I'm going to love you forever because . . . because I don't know how NOT to love you."

Heather turned her head up and kissed Laurie gently. "And that's the answer to your question."

"What question?"

"Remember our anniversary? You asked me why I loved you. Mr. Price, bless his heart, I think initially just felt sorry for me. And Liz had her own agenda," Heather said wryly. "But you are the first person in my life to actually make ME believe I was really worth something. You're the first person to make me believe that I even COULD be loved . . . that I might actually deserve to be loved. I just wish I could make you realize just what that means to me."

Laurie had never heard Heather so emotionally exposed before. True, they had talked about their insecurities, problems and desires, but this was at a whole different level. "You have the rest of our lives to figure out how to tell me," Laurie whispered. "Because that's how long I'm going to stay with you."

The two of them settle into a comfortable silence, with Heather's head resting on Laurie's shoulder. Both girls enjoyed the presence of the other, listening to the hum of the jet engines as they hurtled through the air towards the ranch, their friends and their life together.

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A warm August night . . .

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Heather had never heard anything as loud as a crowd of fifty thousand screaming people before. She had been AT concerts that big, but standing up on the stage was like standing in a whole other world. And the stage lights were blazing down like stars that had far too close to earth. And for a brief moment, she was standing in the absolute center of the universe.

Earlier that evening, Lost in Texas had gone out to play their five-song set in their opening for the Eagles. With each song, the girls got the crowd a little more into the show. They had started with "The Itch," which got the younger members of the crowd riled up, and then they followed it up with "A Devil and an Angel," "Where the Buffalo Roam," "Dinner at O'Malley's" and they finished off with their trademark tune, "Lost in Texas." By the end of the set, they had most of the stadium on their feet. They knew that their friends and loved ones were out in that crowd somewhere. But for a moment, their family had grown to include tens of thousands of new members. They had gotten a great roar of approval when they finished their set and took their first ever big-league bow. It wouldn't be their last.

They had gone backstage where they were going to watch the headliners do their thing. There was a man waiting there representing the record label with the necessary paperwork for them to sign. Mary looked it over and approved everything before the rest of the girls signed on. They would be going into a professional studio with an actual producer to work on their first official album. The company was fine with their material so far, but wanted them to produce a more polished form of it. The sound quality on their demo CD was less than stellar. The girls were all screaming and hugging and were rightfully excited. But their evening wasn't over yet.

They hung out in the back and chatted with all the people who made the tour happen and listening to the Eagles play. At the end of the show, Don Henley was jokingly complaining to the crowd about his voice giving out. He grabbed a camera and took him into the back with the entire crowd watching the big screen over the stage. He meandered into the back to where the still excited local band was hanging out. He had wandered up to Heather and asked her if she would mind helping him sing one last song. Heather almost went into shock. The only reason she was able to move was that the Eagle's front man grabbed her by the arm while the rest of the band gathered around her and pushed her towards the stage. Suddenly, she was out on stage with one of the biggest bands in rock history. Then someone handed her a microphone. Mr. Henley told the crowd that he felt that the young woman on stage with him had one of the most spectacular voices he'd heard in a while, and he was wondering if the crowd would mind them finishing off the evening with a duet. The crowd roared its approval.

Heather's head was still swimming. She couldn't do this. She didn't even know what the song was. It was like that dream everyone has about showing up for class and having to take a test he or she hadn't studied for. But when the music started, she knew it was a song she could sing. Anyone who had listened to a jukebox or radio in the last twenty years knew the opening for "Hotel California," and Heather was no different. From the moment that Don Henley let the words "On a dark desert highway," escape his lips, Heather was in the zone. She got the nod after the first verse, launching into the second with "There she stood in the doorway." If she WAS actually dreaming all this, she was going to milk it for all she could.

When the song ended and the crowd erupted, Heather found herself with her face in her hands, much like when she had sang karaoke that first time almost a year earlier. All the members of the Eagles actually gave her a quick hug before she waved to the crowd and ran off stage and directly into the wait arms of her girlfriend. The other band members quickly swarmed the two of them. Heather heard them yelling jubilantly, but their voices quickly blurred into an incomprehensible stream of gibberish. The only thing she heard clearly was something Laurie whispered into her ear.

"Your heart is beating so loud," the girl said. Heather wasn't sure why she was able to make that out amongst the noise, but she didn't care. But it was true. She felt her heart pounding like a big drum and she could feel the blood pulsing through her veins.

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A little later that evening . . .

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Eventually the clock struck midnight, the coach turned back into a pumpkin and it was time for Cinderella to leave the ball. The band was loading up their gear into their cars, soaking in what they had just been a part of. A bunch of people had actually come over to talk to them and ask when their CD was likely to be released. Their family and friends who had been in attendance had come over to talk to them and congratulate them. Most of the band relished the attention, but Heather found herself completely exhausted. She had just placed her guitar in the backseat of her beat-up, Volkswagen Thing when she felt someone tugging on her shirt. She turned around, thinking that maybe it was one of her band-mates. It wasn't.

In front of her was a young girl, no more than thirteen or fourteen years old. She was a gangly looking girl with an Eagles tee-shirt that was a size too large for her, and her big brown eyes were looking up at Heather from beneath a shock of brown hair. A couple, who Heather assumed were the girl's parents, was standing nearby. The girl was looking at Heather shyly. She held up what appeared to be an autograph book and a pen. The girl's name was written on the front of the book; Sarah Smith. Heather was perplexed. 'This girl isn't asking for what I think she is, is she?'

"Would you sign this for me?" came the girl's voice in a whisper. Heather smiled down at her.

"Sure," Heather responded. She took the pen in her shaking hand. 'What's that about?' she wondered. "First one of these I've ever done," she said. "Did you enjoy the show?" she asked. The girl nodded her head wildly.

"I want to be a musician when I grow up!" the girl said excitedly.

"Good to hear!" Heather said as she started to write. "Rock'n'roll?"

"Yep!"

"Good. We need more girl rockers," Heather said warmly. She finished her autograph. It read: 'To Sarah. To the very first person who ever asked me for an autograph. You are now OFFICIALLY my favorite fan. When you're ready sign YOUR first autograph, keep me in mind! Thanks, Heather Englund.' She handed it to Sarah. "I hope I did okay," she said.

The girl looked incredibly pleased and suddenly threw her arms around Heather's waist. Heather couldn't begin to describe what she was feeling. Then Sarah met her gaze again.

"Someday, I wanna be as good as you," she said, then rushed off to join up with her parents. The girl's mother waved and mouthed the words 'Thank you,' as their delighted daughter grabbed both her mother and father by the hand and dragged them towards the car. Heather waved back, then slumped back against her car.

"That was a wonderful thing you just did," came a voice from behind her, making her jump. Heather didn't even have to turn around to recognize that voice.

"Hi Jane. I'm glad you guys were able to make it."

"We wouldn't have missed it for all the world." Jane wrapped her arm around her young friend's shoulders. "You were magnificent today. You know that, don't you?"

"I was alright," Heather returned bashfully. "I wasn't the only one out there."

"Maybe not, but you were one of the most popular topics of conversation. I'm proud of all you," Jane said as she kissed Heather on the forehead. "But whether you want to admit it or not, you ARE something special Heather Englund. And that young girl was only one of the many people who have realized how special you're going to be."

Heather hugged Jane hard. "You know," she whispered, "I think I realize why Michelle and Freddie love you so much."

"I know, I know," Jane said. "I'm irresistible." The two of them looked over at the assembled mass. Laurie was talking with her father when she noticed that she was being looked at. She smiled at Jane, but positively glowed when her gaze met Heather's. "Go ahead," murmured Jane. "I'll see you at the restaurant." The gang was going to assemble at a local Italian restaurant where an entire room had been reserved for them, and the celebration was probably going to continue well into the night. But at that exact moment, Laurie had broken off from the main group and was heading over to the car. She stopped to give a quick hug to Jane and gave the older woman a friendly kiss as Jane headed back over to join the group. The hug Laurie gave Heather was much longer and the kiss was much sweeter.