All Comments on 'Loving my Cousin'

"booze had plenty to do with lowering our morels"

Great story, but an editor could improve it even more.

CONGRATULATIONS. For a math major you have a great mastery of narrative voice. Thanks for sharing.

I say you just need more practice. There were a couple typos but an editor should catch those. Those who rant and rave can fuck off. You don't need to tell them that; if you're going to post here you should develop a thick skin. But your readers will defend you. I thought for someone who is not an English major, you did quite well. My big concern was you need to develop a feel for your story. The spelling and grammar were fine, but the story just lacked that oomph, you know? It read sort of like a primary reader. You know, see Dick and Jane? But that is something easily remedied with repetition. So you keep writing. It'll come to you. Good luck.

Seriously, get a decent editor. 'Nuff said.

Really an enjoyable read.

No problems that I saw in the text.

Rule #1: Before posting find an editor and/or beta readers. Literotica.com maintains a list of free editors.

Rule #2: Sit on your story for a few days, then re-read it yourself.

Rule #3: After making changes suggested by your editor and/or beta readers, repeat Rule #2.

Notice all the Idiots who don't have a story say you need editing ... yes they are idiots and yes I have a few stories. You are idiots to thinking you can do better ... if you could you would have written your own. All these backseat drivers ... ya not even in the front seat and want to give advice. Put your story and show us you not an idiot ... until then shut the hell UP!!!

No, actually we can offer criticism and this author needs an editor.

I did look up some of the people who said I need help. None of them have submitted a story. I am pretty sure this site is to enjoy stories, not to badger people.

Your excuses ring hollow. Not everyone who writes well has a degree in English. Charles E. Magness, known as CarlusMagnus on this site, says on his website that he is a professional mathematician, so we can guess that he has (at least one) advanced degree in math. His stories display much better writing than yours.

Most of the criticism you've complained about has been rather mild (for this site) and--for the most part--constructive. Not to mention absolutely correct. Your mistakes in word choice probably arise from over-dependence on your spellchecker; that would explain "barley" where you meant "barely" and "morels" where you meant "morals". (Do you use your calculator with as little thought as you seem to use your spellchecker?)

But those silly mistakes, distracting though they were, pale beside your boring, repetitive style. And the complete lack of emotional interaction between your characters makes this story a piece of porn--not erotica.

Of course, there is no requirement that you improve--unless you want to. If you do want to improve, you should read widely. And you should apply the same deep thinking to your writing that your possession of an advanced degree suggests that you have applied to your math.

Back the hell off. This was a good story, and you browbeating the author in the apparent hope of getting him to quit writing sucks.

You're obviously writing to/for a tough crowd. There were lots of mistakes, but none so egregious that they should draw the level of criticism they received.

A few simple rules to follow: Don't start a story by telling readers how smart you are; Use your first draft as an outline, THEN proof read rather THAN submitting; Learn the difference between "than," and "then."

I enjoyed your story.

So you couldn't have slept in the second bedroom? And it was a okay story yes a couple spelling errors and the bothering fact that she tried to make you sleep on the couch when she had another bedroom. Sorry it just bugged me a bit about the two bedrooms but I liked the story so keep doing what you do.

Just wondering, do you ever criticize a movie that you didn't like or car you test drove? Have you written, produced, directed one of your own? Maybe you have designed and built a production car? No? Well many people who haven't written a story still know what is well written and what is not. Just how many movie critics have made a movie?

Yes it was a two bedroom apartment. The other bedroom was set up as her office work area. I guess I wanted to tell the story about what happened with my cousin vs her living quarters.

You need to chill out, dude; Damn! I noticed that you've not written ANYTHING65 of your own, so, until you do and have been subjected to the abuse of other assholes who're just like you; I suggest you shut the fuck up, you micro-dick cretin.

In the mean time; Great Job, Brian6588. I think it was an outstanding story!

MP

The author wasn't telling everyone how smart he is, he was trying to preempt some of the criticism about his writing abilities by letting people know he has a master's in math, NOT English. Some of us are better with numbers than words. I are an engineer so I get it!

I really enjoyed your story. I always liked fucking my cousin too!!

We are so lucky here in Australia where we can legally have sex and marry cousins aunts/uncles and nieces/nephews.