All Comments on 'Mary Ch. 01'

The story itself is good and entertaining and arousing. However, the punctuation and pronoun errors severely take away from the reading exoerience. Gave it 3 stars, but would have given it 5 if those errors were not there.

I'd have liked to give it a better rating but there were just far too many errors for me to stay immersed in the story. I can somewhat ignore the punctuation and grammar errors, but the wrong-word ones were just too plentiful: 'witch' instead of 'which', 'balder' instead of 'bladder', 'gaged' instead of 'gagged', etc., etc.

It doesn't help the intensity of a story like this when I'm too busy laughing at the image of a 'wonton asshole'; I may never look at Chinese food the same way again.

Sorry to be harsh, but even minimal proofreading would have caught a lot of this.

I seriously suggest an editor.

Not overly long? 8 inches? A stretch. And a 4 inch circumference would be extremely thin.

Details matter and they fail from early on.

What a woman, sick in the head, yes, but what a woman.

4/5