All Comments on 'Motherslut Ch. 02'

I am a bit confused by this story so far, as I cannot work out who is actually in control here. He keeps on saying it is shaming how she is a slut and wants to use him, but then gives her exactly what she needs, with out exerting any control over her. Also at one stage it almost sounded like he wanted her to dominate him and use him to satisfy her needs. Is someone actually going to take control and exert dominance over the other or is it just going to continue to be wishy washy. They both need to talk and express their true desires on how to go forward and who is going to be in control.

More.

Now take charge. She is the willing sub; no clothes or accessable clothes at home, collar, light bondage. And tease her ass until she is on her knees holding her chheks apart begging.

You still need an editor, or used Word's read aloud function to listen for rough spots. Look carefully for easy errors (to or too, here or heat, etc.)

Good story work

Yes, it’s a great story. Yes, it’s a fantasy. And yes, you need an editor or reread what you are writing. Don’t make the reader misunderstand what you are trying to say. When I stumble over a misspelled word, or correct your grammar, even in my head, I loose the flow and need to reread to get the meaning of you thought. Probably why one of the Anon’s doesn’t know what is going on and who is in charge. Moving from first person to second person is troublesome but going on to the third person is disorienting as well. If you are shooting for a 4 you have just made it. Try reaching for a 5.

Yes it's a great story but.... How many times do you have to use the term "motherslut"?? We all know by now she is and will continue to be. There seems to be a lot of repetition in the story. This could have been boiled down a bit and all of it could have been in a single story. Get some proofreading help. But keep going.

This started as an entertaining story but at some point just became pedantic and repetitious. I mean it’s all just one big long scene where the son attempts to degrade his mother. This is fine for a while but eventually it just starts to me crazy.

Good story. At some point time, son must punish (spank) his mother to solidify his position as the dominant.

Your story keeps me hard all day

Such a wicked, wicked ... wicked story! That's why I liked it so much.

Decent story. Would have give another star but the author way overused the name motherboard.

Did you smirk?

Motherslut this, motherslut that, it's rather repetitive and boring to the point where I want something else to happen other than the damn sex.