All Comments on 'My Sister's Keeper Pt. 01'

Far too many italics, they're supposed to be used very sparingly, for emphasis only at key points, not every other spoken sentence. It makes it seem like they're screwing up their faces and shouting at each other, it's distracting and childish. Just because you know how to insert them, it doesn't mean you should use them promiscuously like this, it disturbs and unbalances the whole flow of the story.

I sincerely hope you re-post, or edit this otherwise fine story to correct this recurring flaw. It's still a 4*, should have been 5, but the excessive italics took one away.

I will definitely re-visit this insightful point, and probably make adjustments. Much appreciated!

It makes it darn near unreadable. The story is somewhat interesting, but the italics make it seem like it's poorly punctuated.

I am adressing this as we speak. Thanks for the constructive comment.

I'm glad you liked it and I do try to tell a story, not just sex scenes strung together.

Also, I have submitted an edit and hopefully improved the readability. Not sure how soon it will be posted.

Either this guy is totally naive or was part of the problem at his home. If he could not tell the mother and daughter were raped and abused daily by the step father he either helped or was blind!!!!

With him giving her the "treatment" she needs he is like a drug dealer giving the drug she needs and not helping break her of abuse issues she loves and thinks she needs to feel like she is happy!

Yes, he was a little naive, and his mother and sister wouldn't discuss anything. Suz left when she was 18 and he was only 16. And they were never really close. More will be discovered in part 2.

Love Kevin's chest hair -- and her gentle stroking of it!

Noticing and liking the small stuff I add. Hopefully it makes the story better. :)

Where is part 2??? I need it now, that was amazing!

Thank you! I am editing part 2 this weekend and it should be out early next week.

I'm looking forward to reading more of this story. It was cute when she called him babe. Does he have pubic hair? If so, what if she was feeling kinky and they shaved each other?

Looking forward to chapter 2

Part 2 is up now.

I wish I had a sis that would fuck my 10 inch cock.

Congrats on making the sister the biggest whore I have read to date on this site. Sorry but did not connect with the characters and felt anything that happened between brother and sister wouldn't mean anything especially since she has been fucked by every guy she sees and would probably keep on fucking everything with a dick. 1 star wont be bothered to read the next part didnt even finish part one.

Different strokes for different folks. Thanks for not reading part 2.

Now to read Part 2

How you structured and wrote your story is very confusing and chaotic.

Points you made have no follow up.

Her confessing to him and all of a sudden watching tv and going to sleep?

Is there no urgency of what really happened and how and and and?

Then at night she sucked him, he panicked, let it happen in the end, she says "we talk tmrw" ....and they didnt talk, just watch eachother drink coffee.

All of a sudden all his panicking, boundaries etc all of it gone within seconds (night to morning he suddenly doesn't care anymore) and happily licks her pussy and gets sucked without any reservation and fucks her.

Uhh what ?

You cant go from 0-100 that quickly in a story without substance behind or between.

I thought this was a great story & well told. I simply do not understand people who leave negative comments.

I'm a professional writer & have the degree and job to prove it, so even though you don't need validation from anyone, maybe someone else will read this comment before writing an opinion that means nothing and helps nobody, and is, ultimately, hurtful. Unless they're willing to post their own story and bare their creative soul to the world, fuck 'em.

The thing about opinions is that everyone has one, but not all have value. If they bothered me, I would stop writing. I totally agree with your assessment and I just consider the source. Thank you.

Well done. 5/5

This was a great story. Please don't pay these negative comments any mind. Ever author has their own way of approaching a storyline. If they have so much to say about it, then stop reading it or write your own story and post it. Then see how you are critique.

I was a “Slut” in highschool I know exactly how she felt craving cock and making boys happy❤️