All Comments on 'New Girl in Town Pt. 16'

I’m glad you took the time to perfeect this final piece of the story, and as much as it saddens me that you seem to be slowing down/stopping the story, I know it is for the best. I really hope you return to this story (and these characters) with a bang!

(Sent from Verticalize - having login issues)

Thank you for the pleasure your story has given us. Looking forward to your next story when it is published on (say) 3 jan 2019, but no pressure. Best of health and happiness to you and yours. W

Loved it! Great way to bring the series to a close for now, and I'll look forward to looks in on them in the future.

Also like how you worked in my Alma Mater there. 😉

It is great news that there will be new stories with the same group of characters. I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and New Year.

Kind of sappy, but a good story, well written.

I really loved this series. Awesome story and good reading. Will be waiting for the next season. Great work.

Happy Holidays, you did it again hitting a home run. My only gripe is that you forgot about Roxie and CC story other wise converting everyone against Patrick was awesome. Can’t wait for the next installment. Rick W.

Wonderful story and terrific ending

I will miss looking forward to what happens to the misfits but a truly wonderful ride

Thank you and please write more

Thanks for writing and I look forward to reading anything else you produce.

If I had to make any criticism then it would be at times the dialogue was a little sugary - but not enough to detract from the over all storyline

Thanks

I have already told AuroraIncident that it was a pleasure to assist, from the time I first made contact with him directly until the culmination of this series. Since then, some 300 emails have been exchanged between us as we batted ideas back and forth. I was very pleased to be permitted to see what he wrote before he posted, although I had only seen two thirds of the final chapter in the series and had sent him the edited parts for that. The last third he wrote (meteor shower onwards) was posted to Lit at the same time he posted the final file to me.

The promise our author made about the characters being revisited in other stories will be upheld, barring other unforeseen incidents, and ideas for those stories have already been discussed in outline. In the meantime, I know he has other material that he would like to air and I think we can look forward to some more from 'The Rescue' characters as well as some other new story-lines that came from other ideas we have exchanged.

I still feel it a shame that the Lit site management have, so far, failed to sort my own log-in problems as I would like to share some of my own writings here. This is despite me using every way I know to get them to do this.

As that time of year is fast approaching, I hope you all enjoy a very pleasantly sexy festive season.

Share the Love

Devir Ginator

Definitely real talent as a writer. You do a great job of making characters that have depth and that we can care about, for good or bad (is there anyone that doesn’t really want to see Patrick thrown into a cage naked with a rabid beaver as ironic punishment?). I look forward to your next endeavor.

Get someone to Proof Read and to act as an Editor for you!!

Even in just this Chapter there were umpteen instances of miss-spelling words, using the wrong ones or even leaving out words completely which tended to spoil entire sentences.

In Literotica Index there is a section 'Volunteer Editors'.

Otherwise, great series!!

4.5*

Looked forward to each part of the story and enjoyed the whole thing! Thanks for sharing and anticipate your next endeavor!

As all of your chapters appeared I would reread the one before. I have fully enjoyed this story and look forward for 2019. But will also be looking for any new stories. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Aurora, congratulations on another superb effort. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading this series and have in fact read it four times. You’ve managed to create a great story woven together through believable characters who aren’t one dimensional. As I’m writing my own story, that I hope to post early next year, I look at how you’ve paced the key aspects of your story and added details that bring everything together. I hope I do as well. Unlike some other people who’ve commented, I think the extended football and volleyball parts of the whole story were a key part of the whole story and made other aspects possible. Keep up the great work and I hope you have a great holiday. Erik

Your story is worth waiting for.lookin forward to future works of yours. Have a great Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas

. your fan

. Rodger

I enjoyed this series from start to finish. Once you stop using present tense and correct some obvious errors, you will be among the best. With your imagination and some good editing, the sky is the limit for you.

This has been a truly Enjoyable story to read. Good Characters.You need to do some research on the football sections on rules and legenth of high school season. I look forward to New Girl. In 2019.

Even the errors, which were minor and ignorable for the most part.

Tidy this up and offer as a saleable product.

It has been a real pleasure to read this series. Great stories and characters. Thank you.

Love the story. Keep writing;

See you in 2019.

Great story, I would have like to know what happened to Patrick. Also what happened to the drive-in theater and the Marina but I like your story very much.

Enjoyable ride, looking forward to your next work, thanks from Australia!

Dear AuroraIncident,

I reside in an extremely remote place in a very remote country of the world. I have never watched a game of American football, or Rugby as we know it, neither have I ever read about it before this series. But believe me, you made me fall in love with the sport. You made me cheer for the Wildcats, that's the kind of impact it has had on me. I have read quite a few popular novels, none beats this story. Excellent character development and very tactical sub-plots. All combined to give us this gem of a story, 'New Girl in Town'. I really look forward to seeing them back in 2019. They've become a part of my heart now. Thanks, for letting us be a part of this amazing journey with Jake, Jessica, Our sweetest little Sar-bear and everyone else.

Thanking you, Again.

A well wisher.

Thank you for this. You've made me love characters that i never thought I'd like. Thank you once again and PLEASE keep it going. These stories have gotten me through a difficult year. Thank you!

Great work once again and can't wait to read the next story. You are a very talented writer and I love how in depth the story's are and not simply focusing on the sexual aspect. Keep up the good work

Great work with the whole story and merry christmas. I hope jakes lighting skills with that play come back in some way in the sequal interesting career path if its a double major lol.

Awesome story, I’ve been waiting so impatiently for this last chapter and it was worth it, although it’s left me wanting more!! What happened with Patrick? And so many more questions...

AVOID present tense. Need spell check/grammar check/editor. Wonderful sense of emotion. Superb ability to express teenage feelings. Real potential to be a first rate erotic author. Well done!!!

Love the story. I want more of this group very entertaining:). Only two things I would say are that the last chapter seems a bit rushed. And when they were going camping that Sarah had a toboggan on with a pink fuzz ball on top. Why would she be wearing a sled on her head? Lol toboggans go between your ass and the snow to go down hill. What your were looking for was a purple toque with pink fuzzy pop-pop on top. Otherwise a very good story and I've read it over 5 times in the last couple of weeks.

I have read this story at least four times while waiting for the next chapters to come out and I have never been let down. Your character development has been incredible. Even the, I guess you could call them the background characters, are well thought out with their interactions giving more content to the overall story. I have thoroughly enjoyed this story and give many thanks to you for sharing your talent with us.

First half was good, with Patrick and his gang being the main villain, created some conflict and tension within the story. However, second half, the author seems to have completely given up on any sort of conflict, and results in an extremely repetitive story: Jake and Jessica romance. Over and over again.

No actual plot=bad story

Hi to Our Author ("AuroraIncident") and to "Devir Ginator".

The Anonymous Commenter (not "Devir Ginator") who noted that many English-readers (such as I) think of "toboggans" more as vehicles for winter sports that a whole body gets placed in rather than as something that a girl would wear on her head has a point: I had to use Google to learn that in some parts of the English-speaking world (Wiktionary has as definition 4 of "toboggan": "(Southern US, especially South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia) A knit cap, designed to provide warmth in cold weather. [..] )")

"Toque" seems to me to be a Canadianism, but I hope that "AuroraIncident", if he should bring his "New Girl in Town" cycle of stories to publication outside of Literoica, will try to substitute more-generally-understood references where possible (or at least an explanation of sorts) when making references to aspects of his characters' North Carolina home -- or other readers will have to use Google (or some other resort) to know what is being said/talked-about; in the case of "toboggan", readers outside of the southeastern US would probably prefer "knit cap" (or maybe "her toboggan knit cap" -- in this example (?) ) to an unfamiliar regional term (although I admit that readers who know the term would probably love to see the word they know).

The "local color" in (I think especially the later parts of) New Girl in Town is charming, but especially when readers might get momentarily confused, it might be best to paraphrase or make other choices when "broadcasting" to a general English-reading audience in future.

--------

Best Wishes for a happily creative 2019 to "AuroraIncident".

E. (in New York City).

One additional Comment/observation about future development of the New Girl in Town series and characters: it seems to me (especially in the last installment, I think) that Staci is getting ever more overt in indicating she is sexually interested in Jake; I don't know if the possible conflict that this might cause between her and Jessica is the kind of conflict that some readers may wish to see -- and whether Our Author wants to have Jake and/or Jessica give in to Staci's desires in future (Yeah, I would guess some readers would like some changing of partners, and such)... ??

Best Wishes,

E. (Commenter in New York City).

An excellent story. I rarely read long novelllas, but this was particularly good.

Just one small error. When the Mustangs settle for a field goal, it puts them up by 7 not 6 as you indicated (the score would have been 24-17). I had to read that section a couple times, because a touchdown and extra point tied it later in the paragraph, which wouldn’t work.

I love your work. Please keep them coming.

Loved all of it brilliantly written started chapter 1 and never put it down till I’d read the full series really enjoyed it

What a story! I know I'm standing in a long line telling you what a joy it was to read this story. It impressed me from the first chapter. The characters were brought out and became very interesting. With the way you wove the story and with some twists and turns, you had me being happy at the right time and being sad at the appropriate times. When the writer can draw the reader's emotions out, that is a sign of a superior story. I would imagine some readers nit picked, but they need to remember how much they paid for the story. I have read may stories on this web site and am pleased to say that I will read more of yours. Now that I have blown up your head, please continue writing and having fun. Sorry to hear about your father. I lost a parent also in the near past and still feel the loss. Thanks again for your time and imagination.

Really enjoyed the whole story, but agree with the mean commenter that it was at its best when Patrick and his gang were a threat, but not at all with his overall evaluation.

I am amazed that no one has commented on your fantastic ear for dialogue.

If you are developing the characters, adults, young people, and kid(s), it would be really interesting to see the perfect ones suffering from stress, or fatigue, and so rotting things up. All the really nice kids of that sort of age that I know are only lovely most of the time, and the lovely adults lose it much more often! But with that great dialogue, it will always be a terrific read. (Excuse UK spelling!)

What happened to his Marine Biology plan from the beginning of the story?

please continue. When is the next chapter

Patrick and Sean are both AHs. Patrick should have been reported for the student address violation. Jake should have pressed charges against Sean especially when more than one eye witness was available. This was also a mistake by Dr. Golden when they knew the Durant family and knew what Sean had done to their daughter. This part of the story appeared lazy on the part of the author.

Other than that it is an excellent story, good characters and excellent action. Hard to decide which character is the best but Sar-Bear is an absolute hoot. The story just would not be the same without her. This is a solid 5* story and well worth the time. Just non't fret over nits in HS v.s. Col v.s. NFL rules. They don't matter for this story. Thanks for taking the time to write and share.

I'm sure I'll see parts 17-20 in October, November, and December.

5 stars

I loved the story i can't wait for more

Looking forward to next set of chapters.

Dear Aurora, I have enjoyed reading New Girl In Town so much that I've read the whole story 3 times now. I know you said you would pick it back up this year. I hope to see something soon, I'm not getting any younger, (71) And it was so much more than porn. Your a very good story teller

I’ve just discovered this gem of a story, and loved it, great development of the characters over the series and looking forward to potential future stories featuring Jake and Jess

It’s right up their with Lady and Red and the Ashburn court series to me,

One of the best

Loved the story would love more on this story.

Found this new this week and read through it all within a couple of days.

As others have pointed out, your grammar and writing style could do with improvement (this story should have been written in past tense as well as in the third person, for example) however the storytelling is one of the best around. Point in case, I skipped the sex scenes just to get back to the main story!

There’s so much more you can do with these characters and I really hope you continue the story as you have hinted, and soon. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Does high school football have a two minute warning? So many missed opportunities for the Misfits to stick it to Patrick at "Patrick time"!8zN9

It is now July 2019!!

This story is absolutely amazing. I actually discovered it last year, and I’ve reread it at least four times already. Phenomenal, there needs to be more stories like this

Is this story going to cocontinue? Please say yes....

This is one of the best if not the best.Its not some jerk off story it really

binds you. The best things are the developments and the progression speed.The characters were well made and described,the relationship between the characters was very well defined.Thanks for writing such a good series hope that you will write another one like this.

If not will we see some crossover action from Kenny & Crew with the New Girl Gang?

If a follow up book isn't published sharp-ish, so help me God...

I am with B E. A contract on Kenny anyone?

This is the 3rd time I’ve read this series and still enjoy it. Please tell me there is more in-store for Jess and Jake????

I really love stories like this with all the character interaction and story that is not based only on sex. The only negative part of the story for me personally was the developing sexual aspect between the two couples of Jake/Jess & stacie/ray. The whole seeing each girl nude and strip jenga game was getting out of hand and would hate to see you try some partner swap or both couples having sex in front of the other. That would only take away from the characters but also thier relationships with each respective partner especially in the case of Jake & Jess. I really can't see Jess saying she loves Jake but I want ray to fuck me just to see how it is and Jake being ok Stacie is totally worth letting ray fuck you. Hey maybe we can swap with Bobby and Marybeth or Jenny and Tommy or Jamie and Marie. So please don't go there and stop having each guy and girl being cool with seeing the other's partner naked cause that ain't cool either. Overall great job and can't wait to ready your other work and love me some sar-bear. P.S. Patrick and Sean really needs a hard fall with no redemption. Fucking douchebags.

Incredible story, it seems like there is some mutual attraction brewing between the two main couples, some swap or play between the four would be very hot! I am in favor of keeping that storyline going

Jake always keeps his promises. AuroraIncident on the other hand.

Not the first time I've read it and I thank you for it.

Loved the story you could right full length fantasies im sure your the author so its up to you but if you ever came back to this wonderful story i think you had plenty enough build up that you could work in a foursome with ray and staci as a parting gift to ucla let staci get a piece of that tasty jake she has wanted so much

When is the next chapter coming out? Or is this story done?

I just want you to know that I love this story and have read it multiple times. I really hope you start posting he rest of the Jake and Jess story. Please!?!

Truly great story. Great dialogue, lovable characters.

Jake and Jessica have a special love. You have created these great characters . I humbly ask that you keep the characters true to themselves and don't go down a betrayal/ cheating or swinging plotline. We want these good guys to keep winning and being good. This is an inspirational and unique story.

Your avid reader.

Amazing book! I have read this multiple times and honestly I cant find anything on here that comes close this book I really hope you continue this!

The title says it all this is THE BEST story on literotica

As a safety consideration, when camping in cold weather, never use an air mattress, a cot, or any other elevated sleeping arrangement. The air is going to be colder than the ground, and by elevating yourself off the ground, you are surrounding yourself with cold air. You can't put enough blankets beneath you to compensate for the insulation that the ground provides.

All the subsequent chapters are inferior, even leaving aside that now we don’t have an ending.

Again, a wonderful chapter. Plot line providing a good support for the string of nice scenes. Was great fun reading - even without major upside plot twists like in ch 15, and a few hiccups (words lost in editing?). But who is perfect and sharing for free? For me, the near perfect Highschool experience setting transporting the zeitgeist of the good times and the playful, caring and witty dialogue dynamics guarantee a special place in my personal LIT favourites top 20 list. Thanks and all the best!

Still great!!!

A delightful story. Thank you!

After the last few chapters, I need to check my blood sugar levels. There was enough syrup in them to leave me as sticky as Sarah at breakfast. I don't mind some syrup, but this is getting a little thick. Nonetheless, I will give it 4 stars and continue to read on.

I Love your story and i like the way you Wright. Thankyou!

love it love it love it

So nice to read a story that makes one feel good like this. Xx

Complete reread before going on to the next part. Again, many bravos.

Loved the series. Not one of the best written ones I've seen on here with the grammatical problems, missing words, inconsistencies in tense, and point of view issues, but the story line and content more than made up for those problems. Unlike some of the complaints early on about the slow pace, I enjoy stories with a lot of character development and a good back story, instead of just diving into endless sexual encounters, that lead to some some depth and emotional connection between the characters. I'll look forward to continuing on with the next part of the story. Thanks for the effort and the great read.

If life were so sweet and right! Very good story. Little too mich sex for an old man though.

Wanted to thank you for the story....i appreciate a lil more than most....i live in burlington nc. For thos that done know it is with 20 miles or so of where this story is said to have takent place. Thanks again!!!!

Sar-bear is the most excellent MVP in this story. Still would really like to know just what Jennifer did with Patrick, and really why Patrick hated Jake so much, but it's been a good story

I know this is not the last chapter, as advertised in the opening remarks. AND, I am looking forward to reading "the rest of the story"...

This just gets better with each chapter; in spite of the errors that continue, it is a most satisfying read, and the detail to it (the series) is wonderful!!

Jennifer is back into good graces, along with Jamie; while Patrick's future seems to be dimming slowly but surely due to his personality disorder ("Thanks, Dad!!). The whole "Misfits" crew seem to be excelling, such a pleasure to read about!

Five**5**Stars, as always!!

Sorry I didn’t like each chapter. I usually just wait for the end. I liked what you did and didn’t do.