Occupational Hazards Ch. 04

She sniffled. "He hasn't hit me in over a month. But you bringing me home last week? He saw that as an act of defiance. Not that it was done intentionally to rile him. Or that he would have come pick me up if I'd called. He'd rather see me walk home in the rain than lift a finger for me. But because I didn't ask permission—which is his second rule besides, well..."

"Shutting down in his presence?"

"Yeah, I guess that's a good way of putting it."

"Be honest, would you still follow this path if you were with someone else?"

There was a sad but hopeful tone in her voice when she said, "Like you?"

My chest grew tight. "Like anyone but him."

"I don't know. He introduced me to it. Plus, he supports me financially. I don't have the means to try to live without him. How would I even go about finding someone who—"

"Nikki, first things first. Submission in Hunter's mindset is not true submission. If it's not mutually consensual, it's called abuse. Do you understand that? Be honest."

She nodded.

"Please say it out loud so—"

"Yes, I understand."

"Good. A true Dominant partner also respects his sub. He does not beat or commit violence against her. Even for minor infractions. Especially ones out of her control...like the weather."

"But I—"

"Honey, without you realizing it, he has enslaved you and stripped away your right to stop at your own will. To take back control when you need it. If you still had that right, we wouldn't be here right now, would we?"

"No, I guess not." She sniffled again, turning on her side to face me fully. "You talk about submitting and dominating. But doesn't BDSM represent other things?"

"Yes. It breaks down into bondage and discipline; dominance and submission; and sadism and masochism. It covers all of them, some overlapping into each other."

"So it's all about being tied up? Spanked and flogged? Causing or enduring pain? Depending on which area you focus on, of course. If Hunter is into inflicting pain—"

"No. The art is about the power exchange. One person willingly giving up control to another with trust, and the other accepting that gift with great consideration. As a result, both receive pleasure. Most importantly, though, the players need to be in a mutual relationship. The one inflicting pain should only be with one who has agreed to receive it. And only at their agreed-upon limits."

"I think I see."

"What you mentioned? Those are just different ways to achieve pleasure for the parties involved. Including delaying or completely withholding the results of said actions for a set time. Like telling the sub she will not have an orgasm during a scene where she is being spanked. Or not letting her touch herself when not in her Dom's presence. It heightens the arousal and can result in a more powerful release on the receiver's end when it's finally allowed."

She scowled. "Sorry, not allowing me release was never pleasurable for me. The orgasm usually was subpar when I eventually got it. And the delay? No. Not enjoyable at all."

"Because he's not executing the method properly. He's probably just a selfish bastard who only cares about his own desires. But I'm guessing there's more to it. That instead of arousing you by denying something you want—like an orgasm—he uses it against you as punishment. Blackmail. If you want Y, you have to go along with X, even though you hate it or it brings you harm. Then he reluctantly gives you Y to ensure you'll comply the next time. That's sadistic. It doesn't work, though, because you're not masochistic. Not to mention, he's gone overboard into the realm of abuse. Your feelings aren't even a part of his equation."

"That's freaky. It's like you can read my mind."

I shrugged. "I'm observant. And I've seen it before. It's no different than the boy who tells the girl, if she really loves him, she'll sleep with him. He doesn't really want proof of her love. He just wants to have sex. He knows the exact carrot to dangle before her: the risk of losing him. So she gives in, even though she wasn't ready for sex yet...and she usually regrets her decision afterwards at some point."

"Trust me. I know exactly how she feels." Nikki wiped her hand at her eyes. "I live with regret every day."

"I'm not saying these things to upset you. I just want everything to be clear, because it obviously was not explained properly—if at all—when he introduced you to all of this. And for that, I am truly sorry for all that you have endured at his hands."

She stood suddenly. I thought she was going to run back inside, or maybe down to the beach. Instead, she surprised me by saying, "To answer your earlier question, I don't know. I think I would have to experience real submission before deciding if I'd still like to be a sub with the right partner."

I nodded. "Wise words."

She stared back at me. When I didn't move, she said, "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"I'm ready when you are."

It took all of my strength to tell her calmly that while I was more than willing to show her, I first wanted to explain more of the submissive role in BDSM. Of the Dominant side. That without understanding both, she could not make an informed decision. To my pleasant surprise, she slowly lowered herself to her chair again without an argument.

An hour later, I ended our tête-à-tête on the basics of giving and receiving control properly, hoping I hadn't confused her more. I then insisted we continue our discussion in the morning. We'd had a very long day, and I was still feeling a bit of jet lag.

My final words to her as I held her—both of us clothed under the sheets of the king-sized bed with the tropical breezes blowing in through the open doors on either end of the building—were a reiteration that she needed time to think about what she was asking me to do.

I would never admit it to her, but I was procrastinating for selfish reasons. I needed time to get my head back in the game. Because without the proper mindset, I would be no better than her recent ex when it came to dominating her.

###

Two nights later...

I touched my lips against the dip just above her waist on her backside. Eased my tongue out, barely touching her skin with the tip.

Nikki gasped, her body undulating on the bed beneath where I held myself over her.

Slowly—lightly—I continued along the gentle curve of her spine. Eliciting coos, soft moans, and the occasional shiver from her. My chest grazed over her ass as I moved further up towards her head, my knees straddling hers now.

She lifted her hips, making me hiss as the tip of my cock tapped against the back of her legs.

I smirked, wondering if it had been a conscious gesture on her part.

The torture I'd warned her about thirty minutes ago—when she'd persisted that I show her the true pleasure of orgasm denial—resumed. I lingered at the valley between her shoulderblades. Licking in languid strokes now, like a cat lapping at milk in slow motion. I closed my eyes as I kissed her. Tasted her.

She raised her ass again, this time with a sexy moan when my cock pressed harder against her legs. The sound broke my concentration. Made my arms quaver.

I laid my forehead against her back, trying to regain a semblance of control. When I inhaled, I drank in the freshness of soap mingled with the sweetness of fruit and maybe flowers. I nuzzled my nose in the locks of hair resting over her sore shoulder. Breathed deep again. And growled.

She must have used the shampoo the resort had provided when she'd cleaned up earlier after spending the day swimming and sunbathing on the beach. I hadn't mentioned my unexplained aversion for her jasmine-scented one. But I had been pleased to see the bottle in the trash this evening before we left for dinner.

I arched my own hips in gratitude. My cock throbbing as it nestled higher up between her thighs. Feeling the heat radiating from her core.

Nikki whimpered, wiggling under me now.

"Shh. Be still, honey."

She whimpered again but didn't move.

Knowing she was going to feel a whole lot more of my cock on her backside, I hesitated. Mostly for her, partly for me. I counted to ten in my head. Just like I'd been trained to do if I was losing focus in a scene.

Tendrils of those long sessions slipped back into my consciousness. Hours in a basement with the blonde. A straight-back chair in the center of the main room. Graduating to a smaller, private room with a bed. Toys. My dark, longhaired instructor observing from the sidelines all the while. The irony of it? He was a math teacher when he wasn't instructing men how to master kinky sex with their partners.

"A Master of Masters," the blonde had called him. With much reverence.

Yet, she wasn't his partner. At least not sexually. They'd never offered an explanation, and I'd known better than to ask.

Still, I wondered what had become of them. Had they found happiness in this lifestyle where everything shunned by the mainstream world was acceptable as long as it was consensual? Had they continued to thrive in a world entirely of its own where pleasure was the main goal while keeping the scales of power carefully balanced? I hoped so. They'd both deserved it.

Nikki's soft groan pulled me back from my memories.

"Forgive me." My eyes trailed up to where her arms rested on the pillow above her head. Where her wrists were bound together by my belt and then to the headboard with one of my ties. "Is it your shoulder?"

"No, that's fine."

I felt the slight movement of her neck muscles as she swallowed. Heard that brief intake of breath one makes before starting to speak. But she remained silent.

"Tell me, honey," I breathed against her ear.

She shivered. Her voice was lower, raspier, when she answered. "It's your...um...cock..."

My grin returned, widening as I realized the object of her concern now lay flush against her labia. I felt the evidence of her arousal. She was swollen. Damp.

"You're being very good about this." I planted a kiss against her good shoulderblade. Breathed a soft sigh, which made her shudder again.

She started to say something, but I chose to rise up at that moment. The sound she emitted was a gasp that morphed into a low moan as I dragged my cock over her ass. I acknowledged both of our reactions, mine being a further flow of blood to my neither regions.

I no longer had any reservations about leading her down this path with the exception that I feared I was no longer the Dom I had once been. Born out of necessity to complete a mission, I'd grown to enjoy the times when I was holding control of another. That, I remembered.

The rest? Why I had ceased being a Dom? What had caused me to come out of my undercover status? It was all still a blur in my head. Like temporary amnesia, even after six years. The only part that was clear is I'd used Director Davenport's emergency line for the first time. But I couldn't remember why.

Teasing us both, I settled my cock between us along her lower back and rocked gently. Above me, her hands fisted. When her hips pressed up, I was ready and rose as well. I smiled at her groan of disappointment.

I kept it up for a few more minutes. Pressing my lips against her arms. The side of her revealed face. Her neck. Sometimes using my tongue...my teeth. Watching her mouth and eyes as they did that silent dance I'd first witnessed on the day of our arrival. She was so...sensitive.

"Nikki, do you want some relief?"

She nodded then gasped sharply as I lifted my weight off her.

"Words. Use words, honey."

"Uh...yes...yes, please." She gulped audibly. "S—"

"Shh." I kissed her beside her lips. "Remember, no titles yet."

She nodded again but also whispered, "Okay."

I was so tempted to flip her over and repeat the slow torture on her front side. But I didn't know if I'd last another half-hour. I was a little rusty. It would take more time to build up my stamina again. If I recalled correctly, I could last for almost ninety minutes. Then again, I'd had a cock ring to aid in stemming my release. Maybe I should look into ordering a few toys to prolong our pleasure...if only I knew how long we'd be staying here.

"Please..." Another loud gulp. "Please...Ben."

A smile stretched across my face at the sound of her desperate plea. At the vision of her hands clawing at the pillow. I lowered myself on her again. Then I began to move in reverse.

Her breaths came in shallow gasps as my mouth trailed over her shoulders then along her spine. She remained still this time. Though her legs parted slightly when my cock grazed her ass. I let my erection nestle between her thighs for a moment before I continued south.

I spent some time kissing her rear checks. Licking. Nipping my teeth at the soft flesh. She cried out at that but did not buck her hips. I rewarded her by laving my tongue over the slight indentations I'd created.

Then I cupped her ass. Caressed it. Squeezed it.

The last I'd held it was two days ago. While she'd flaunted it on several occasions since—usually in the white bikini I'd convinced her to buy in London—this was the first I'd see it up close. It was as glorious as I'd originally thought. Not too round or wide. Just enough to give her a slight bump in the back. To give me something to grab onto.

Despite her appeals to have sex again—to show her how to be a real submissive—I'd held off. Encouraging her instead to take advantage of the amenities as a way of distraction. We'd snorkeled. Had lunch on a sandbar. Did a little deep-sea diving along the reef. Gotten lava rock massages. Swam in both our pool and the ocean. Took walks along the beach and around the island at both sunrise and sunset.

But a man can only be so strong. When she'd stripped out of her sundress tonight after dinner to reveal that she'd gone commando, my cock had threatened to bust out of my pants. I'd given into both of our desires.

Now, my hands spread her cheeks up and apart. My tongue darted out and licked at the gathering wetness seeping from her entrance buried between her swollen labia. I moaned at my first taste of her sweetness.

Her body shivered beneath me. Her breathy cry was music to my ears.

I proceeded with drawing her essence into my mouth, my nose pressing against her ass. Teasing her while arousing her further. My cock hardened painfully between my thighs and stomach as I knelt. I abandoned her briefly so I could adjust my position and stretch out between her legs, receiving a very loud whimper on her part. Then I continued my slow assault on her tantalizing and delicious womanhood.

The sounds Nikki made drove me on. Guided me where to touch her. A melody of sharp breaths, soft coos, and muffled moans filled the air. And there was something I was sure was a purr when I lingered between her lips by brushing my tongue back and forth.

My fingers continued to knead her skin until I felt her legs tense on either side of me. Then I held her cheeks apart while I finally tongued her entrance, inserting and withdrawing quickly. The shudders that suddenly rippled across her back lifting her ass pushed me further into her.

A new sound...crying...met my ears. I stilled. Started to pull away.

"Oh, God! Please don't stop now!"

I smiled and returned to the onslaught. Spreading her cheeks further apart. Drinking of her nectar. Moaning at the heat wafting off her skin. Trying to build that need twisting inside of her until she was just at the edge.

Her rapid begging increased in volume. An incoherent rambling that made me think she wanted me to end the torture. But when I let up again, they changed to groans and pants of frustration as her body writhed beneath mine. Both trying to pull away and push against my mouth.

When she lay still, moaning softly, I started the cycle once more.

I lost count of how many times I built her up and let her back down. My tongue and jaw ached. Her lips were so swollen and bright pink. A spot had gathered on the bed from my saliva and her natural lubrication.

At least once, I thought I heard her say something about killing me when I was done, which made me laugh and my tongue sweep back against her tender entrance. That caused her to let out a string of cuss words and jerk on her restraints. I was glad her outburst was partly muffled in the pillow. We may be in a private villa, but there were still other guests nearby.

One more time, I let her rest for a couple of minutes. She had to be wound so tight she was ready to break. I waited until her breaths grew more even, then I went in for the kill.

Gripping her ass tighter, I lifted her hips up so my tongue slid down and flicked against her clit. When I sucked it into my mouth, she screamed and thrashed beneath me. Suddenly, my nose was coated with her thick cream. The scent of her made me dizzy.

When she stopped shaking, I ran my tongue back and forth over her swollen lips. Kissing them softly before I released my hold on her. My face was covered in sweat and her essence as I pulled away.

She shuddered against the bed, moaning long and loud. Then I heard her whisper, "Fuck you."

I chuckled and wiped my hand at my mouth, licking my fingers. "God, you taste amazing."

"I could have gone longer," she mumbled against the pillow.

"Really?" I rested my hand over her closed lips, feeling her damp heat still throbbing.

She gasped and pressed into the bed away from my touch. "Enough! I was wrong!"

"Thought so." I crawled up beside her and released her hands. Kissed her neck. Her sweaty cheek. "Do you see what you've been missing, honey?"

She curled into my embrace, her body still trembling from aftershocks. "Oh, hell yeah."

###

Something had been niggling at the back of my brain for a while, but we had been here for five days before it occurred to me what exactly it was.

We'd been snorkeling this morning. Any time in the water seemed to tire Nikki out, so the rest of the day was spent around the villa sunbathing and having small talk in between having our butler deliver our meals. He had just cleared away our dishes from an early dinner when I moved to recline on the daybed lounger situated under the shade of the trees surrounding the patio. Nikki was only a few feet away at the infinity pool's steps, pulling her T-shirt over her head to uncover her bikini.

I lay there, riveted as she revealed her body. Once more, I remembered the lines I'd traced with eyes, lips, and fingers. The hidden areas I'd explored, drawing such wonderful sounds from her as if she'd finally come alive in this paradise. Her creamy skin was just dark enough not to be washed out by the white swimsuit. And the color of the fabric was great for her brown hair. It also drew your attention away from her scars.

Scars. I propped myself up on one arm. What had caused them? I'd assumed a cane or riding crop. But I'd not seen any of those in the bedroom closet. Unless they were stashed under the bed or elsewhere in the house. Still...

"Hey, Nikki?"

"Hmm?" She took a step down into the pool.

"I know we've haven't talked much about your history with submission. Can you tell me what you dislike about it?"

"The mindless control, obviously. And the whippings." She paused on the next step and cocked her head but didn't look back at me. "I'm not a 'pain slut.' He likes to call me that. But I don't like being hurt. Or humiliated."

My throat felt tight suddenly. "Does he hit you often?"

She took another step, deep enough now that she could touch the water with her hand. Her fingertips grazed over the top, causing ripples. "Depends on if he thinks I'm disobeying. Or if he is in a bad mood. Or even just because."

I held my breath, kicking myself for bringing this up. But we did need to discuss this if we were going to move forward with repairing the mental and emotional damage Hunter had caused. Plus I personally wanted to quell my curiosity. "What does he hit you with?"