Ocean Apart

Dad and Mom offered to throw me a party, but I told them I'd rather have a quiet night at home. What I really wanted to do was go out on the town with Sam and celebrate. I knew that would never happen, so I decided to keep things low-key.

Mom made a nice dinner, and Sam was considerate enough to not invite Ryan. She knew how I felt. After we had cake, Sam suggested we go for a walk. Being alone with Sam was all I wanted, so I eagerly agreed. We talked about everything but nothing. It was the usual conversation, school, soccer, Mom and Dad, and our future plans. I was aloof, though, never mentioning my feelings for her because she told me they were wrong every time I did.

When we got to the front door, Sam turned and said, "Paul, please! What the fuck is going on? Talk to me! I'm here for you."

I wanted to lay my cards on the table again, but I was afraid of her response. "I can't talk to you about this, Sam. I'll lose you, and it will break me."

"Paul, please. I love you! You'll never lose me. You're my brother."

I don't know what possessed me at that moment, but pulling her into me, I leaned down and attempted to give her a passionate kiss...my first kiss. At first, I fumbled as I searched out her warm lips with my tongue. I was surprised when she opened her mouth to let me in. Her fingers swept through my hair as she grabbed onto my tendrils. My heart burst with love as I finally had the woman I loved in my arms, and we were kissing. And then everything went to hell.

Sam suddenly removed her arms from around my neck and pushed me away from her. Our lips were the last thing to touch. There was fear in her eyes and tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Paul! We can't. What are we doing? We can't do this!"

"That's the fucking problem, Sam. You know I love you, and I know you love me. I don't want to just be your brother, Sam! I want you, all of you."

"Are you nuts? We can't do this! I do love you, Paul, but we can't be romantically involved! You're my brother. Besides, I have a boyfriend. What would Mom and Dad say? You know it's wrong, Paul. We can't! We just can't!"

"I don't care about your fucking boyfriend, Sam. Besides, we aren't blood-related; it isn't really incest. I'll talk with the parents and get it all straightened out. Just give me a chance, Sam...just a chance."

"Paul, I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't!" Sam cried as she turned and bolted into the house.

That was it. I finally fucked everything up for good. There was no turning back now. I put myself out there all the way, and Sam rejected me. She said she loved me, but how could she when she wasn't willing to give us a try.

From then on, Sam avoided me. Dad and Mom asked what was wrong with us, but I wasn't going to be the one to tell them.

Parting Ways

My divisional team won our last tournament of the year. It was sad that my family wasn't there. Not even Sam; she was still ghosting me. Even though my team had a good time celebrating, I felt hollow.

To my surprise, a recruiter came over to congratulate us after the game.

He shook my hand and pulled me off to the side. "My name is Pedro Costa, Paul. I'm a scout for Sporting CP in Portugal."

"It's nice to meet you, Mister Costa."

"Paul, we've been watching you and would like you to come to Lisbon."

"To Lisbon? That's pretty far, sir."

"I know, but we will pay for your trip and your room and board."

"Really? What do you want me there for?"

"We think you have an excellent chance to play at the semi-professional level."

"You do? Thank you! Thank you very much! I...uh...I need to talk with my parents before making that kind of commitment."

"Of course, Paul. I'd like to meet them and discuss your future."

"Uh...well...they aren't here."

"Oh. Well...here is my card. I'm staying at the Marriot downtown; the number is on the back. Talk with your parents today, and then call me so we can get together."

"Sure. Okay. Thank you! Thank you very much!"

"You're welcome, Paul. I'll talk with you later." He then joined my team.

My parents and I met Mr. Costa at a downtown restaurant. He explained that I had a chance to play on their junior pro team and attend the University of Lisbon. Of course, they weren't thrilled about me moving halfway around the world, but they were excited that I had the opportunity to play the sport I loved at the next level. Mr. Costa explained that I would have a full ride at the university if I made the team. That's when my parents gave me their blessing to go to Lisbon.

The following weekend, I attended a local training camp. I had to pass their physical assessment and be proficient in their drills. We even had a couple of games so they could see how the players they invited worked together. At the end of the camp, I was offered a scholarship and a spot on their semi-pro team. I was enthusiastic but scared.

The end of the school year couldn't come fast enough. My high school and divisional league careers were over, and it was time to move on. Now, I had to train harder than ever before to be prepared for what was to come.

Now that I had this new chapter in life to look forward to, I contemplated my relationship with Sam. The more she avoided me, the more I struggled. I still loved her emotionally, but there was a defining moment when I realized I felt more than love for my sister. It came after one of my runs. It was a hot Saturday, and I went into the backyard through the side gate. I was shirtless and dripping in sweat. Even my running tights were soaked. My plan was to hose off before going into the house, but I stopped dead in my tracks as I rounded the corner. Sam was lying out with a girlfriend. My heart raced, and my breath quickened because she was wearing a white micro bikini. I didn't notice what her friend was wearing.

When Sam saw me, she lifted her head and removed her sunglasses to survey me. I was entranced. Embarrassed that I got caught ogling my sister, I fled into the house. While in the shower, I replayed the vision of Sam sunbathing and subconsciously began stroking myself. I was hard. I wasn't just in love. Fuck! I wanted her...I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to press my naked flesh against hers. I was in lust with my sister. I was astonished at this revelation. I couldn't think of loving her without lusting after her as well.

***************

After my shower, I was walking back to my room when Sam came around the corner, surprising me. When we looked at each other, two things were evident. I was still in love with her, and she was still conflicted.

"Paul, is it true? You're going to Lisbon to play soccer?

It took me a second to find the words, but eventually, I told Sam.

"Uhmmm, yeah."

She tensed, and her eyes watered. "That's so far away...how long will you be gone?"

"I don't know, Sam. At least four years, if not longer. I'm going to the University of Lisbon also."

"When are you leaving?" She asked.

"At the end of the month."

"It's too soon," Sam muttered under her breath as she cried. "Fuck...why are you really leaving Paul? You can go to school here!"

It broke my heart to see her hurt, but it also pissed me off. She was with Ryan and made it clear we wouldn't be together. I knew this was best for both of us. She had what she wanted! Her precious, fucking, Ryan. I loved her, but my jealousy consumed me, and I resented her for rejecting me.

"I need to leave, Sam! I can't be around you anymore. Seeing you in the arms of another guy breaks my heart, and if I stay, I'll become someone neither of us likes."

She was now sobbing uncontrollably. Not knowing what else to say or do, I pulled her into me and held her close.

"I'm...sorry, Sam...really, I am. I love you, but I have to go!" I ran my hand up and down her back to try and soothe her, but she continued to cry.

After taking a deep breath, she pushed herself away and yelled at me, "Go ahead and fucking leave then! Run away! I don't need you."

"Why the fuck do you even care? You have your perfect life, don't you? You've got Ryan. You've barely said two words or spent five minutes with me since my birthday. So, why do you care...why?"

"Fuck you...Paul!"

That was it. I'd had it with her seesawing emotions. I shouldn't have said it, but it slipped out, "You mean Ryan, don't you?"

She slapped her hands against my chest and pushed me back as she grumbled, "You're such a fucking asshole!"

I couldn't take anymore. I was hurt. I was pissed. I was done. I loved her, but she infuriated me. She wanted me to stay, but she didn't want to be with me. Well, fuck her!

Dad and Mom made an effort to spend as much time with me as possible. Sam stayed away. I knew she was upset, so I didn't expect her to be around, but it still hurt.

My last Friday at home was spent with my parents. I promised to stay in contact and give them regular updates on what I was doing. Promises I wouldn't keep. My parents wanted to drive me to the airport, but I asked them not to. I explained that leaving home was hard enough, and if I had to say goodbye at the airport, I wasn't sure I could get on the plane.

The following morning, my bags were packed, and I was ready to leave. Sam wasn't home because she had spent the night somewhere else. At seven-thirty, the taxi arrived, and I left after a tearful goodbye.

I finally got checked in and was waiting to go through security when I heard someone yelling my name in the distance. It was Sam. I stepped out of the line and waited for her to approach me.

"Paul, please...I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. Don't leave! I know you're running away because of...me...us. Please. Don't go!"

I took a deep breath. "Sam, do you love me? Better yet, can we have the relationship I want?"

"Paul. You know I can't...I'm sorry...I," looking around, Sam chose her next words carefully. "I can't...we can't have that type of relationship. That doesn't mean I don't love you, though. I can't let you ruin your life because of me, no matter what I think or feel."

"Sam, each day I stay, I die a little. Seeing you with Ryan is more than I can bear. I want to spend my life with you. Nobody else, just you! No other girl will ever own my heart the way you do. I need to find a way to fix this. Maybe time and distance will work. Maybe it won't. I don't know. One thing is for sure, neither of us will like who I become if I stay."

"Paul, we can't have...oh shit! You know what I'm trying to say. Why can't you see that? What about..." lowering her tone dramatically, she continued, "Mom and Dad? Our friends?"

It was my turn to lower my voice, so I got close to her and, in a low voice, said, "Sam, we aren't blood-related. If our parents hadn't married, this wouldn't be an issue. I'm madly in love with you, but you don't feel the same way. So, I need to forget this pipe dream and leave."

I was seriously conflicted. I wanted her badly. I wanted her in my arms. I needed her. I knew it wasn't going to work between us, but I couldn't help myself. Pulling her in close, I kissed her fervently. She eagerly returned my love, circling her arms around my neck as our tongues entwined.

But then she pulled away, crying, "I'm sorry Paul, I can't...I can't give you that."

"I have to go, Sam...I'm sorry...I'll never forget this moment. This kiss. I love you, Sam. I will always love you, but it's time for me to leave." Before she had a chance to say anything, I leaned in and gently kissed her cheek and said, "My heart will never be whole without you."

I walked away without looking back. We were both crying, and I couldn't face her anymore. I had to leave. It was by far the hardest thing I've ever done.

Boarding the plane was gut-wrenching. I hated ending things with Sam the way I did, but...there was no choice.

Lisbon

Landing in Lisbon twelve hours later, I was greeted by a Sporting CP representative. We drove through downtown Lisbon, and I was in awe. It was a modern metropolis but still traditional. When we passed the José Avalade stadium, where I would be playing, I got butterflies.

My apartment was within walking distance of both the stadium and the university. After settling in for the night, I called my parents to tell them I had arrived safely. I forgot about the time difference and woke them.

The following week was a blur as I did my medical assessment and enrolled in my fall classes. Ten days later, on a Friday night, I called my parents. I chose that night because I knew Sam would be out with her boyfriend, and I wouldn't have to speak with her. Just the thought of listening to her talk about Ryan and how wonderful he was, made my stomach churn. Dad wanted to know what it was like playing for Sporting CP. I think somewhere, deep inside, I was living his dream. Mom wanted to know about my apartment, the living conditions, and if I had enough food. She was surprised that I was learning to cook.

We were finishing our call when Mom asked, "Paul? You haven't asked about Sam."

"Uhm...yeah. How is she?"

"Paul? What's wrong? What happened between you guys at the airport?"

"What do you mean?"

"She came home a crying wreck and hasn't gone out since. She really misses you."

Misses me...what a load of crap! She hardly spent any time at home before I left. "Uhm...well...we kind of had an argument about Ryan."

"Ryan? Why?"

"Well...uh...I told her that I didn't think he was good enough for her. We said some things that probably shouldn't have, but it's water under the bridge now."

"Not for her. Why don't you talk with her before you go."

"Uhmmm...no, thank you, Mom. She'll get over it...eventually."

Before I hung up, I gave Mom my cell number but told her to only use it for emergencies because my budget was limited. We decided to use email as our primary means of communication due to the cost of calls and the time difference.

***************

Training camp was a real eye-opener. The level of competition was unbelievable, but I was driven, competitive, and worked hard.

Being away from home was tough. There were many nights that I cried myself to sleep. I missed my parents, and I missed Sam. I wanted to call her just to hear her voice, but I knew it was better to leave things as they were. One of my fears was that she would plead with me to come home, and I might cave. No, it was better this way, she had her life, and I had mine.

When the fall semester finally began, I was busy. Between soccer and school, I had a full plate. I welcomed the organized chaos, though. It gave me less time to think about Sam.

Despite my conflicted feelings, I decided to enjoy the attention the women gave me on campus and at the games. There was no point in saving myself for my sister any longer. I was a horny eighteen-year-old, and spending what free time I had playing FIFA and MLB The Show on my Nintendo switch just wasn't doing it for me. I wanted to lose my virginity, and I was tired of turning opportunities away.

It wasn't intentional, but every girl I met, I compared to Sam. That's just the way it was.

There was a fellow student in my Mathematics for Business & Economics class that sort of reminded me of my sister. She had a gorgeous body! Her large breasts and tiny waist stirred my loins. She had long dark hair that she sometimes wore in a bun with tendrils draping down her neck. When she smiled, her green eyes sparkled. The last time I saw her, she was wearing a sleeveless top, and I fantasized about kissing her shoulders and working my way up to her luscious lips. She. Was. Beautiful!

The next time we had class together, I sat next to her. "Hi, I'm Paul," I said, introducing myself.

"I know. You play for Sporting CP."

"You go to the games?"

"Sometimes, when I'm not busy."

"We have a game this Saturday. Will you be there?"

"I wasn't planning on it, but maybe I will."

"If you want, I'll leave you a ticket."

"You will? That'd be cool!"

"Sure, it's no big deal. What name should I put it under?"

"OH! Sorry...I'm Sonia. Sonia Ferreira."

"Well, Sonia Ferreira, I'll leave it at the Super Bock entrance ticket booth."

"That's very nice of you, thank you."

"Really, it's no big deal. Maybe afterward, we can grab something to eat?"

"Oh! Well...I'll talk with my friend. I have plans that night."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You have a boyfriend?"

"Not Really."

"Not Really? A girlfriend?"

"No...it's just someone I've been out with a few times. We aren't serious or anything."

"If you're not available...that's okay. I understand. Sometimes I forget...well...I mean, I don't have much time to date with soccer and school, and I forget that others aren't in the same boat I am."

"You don't date?"

"No. I'm too busy to get involved with anyone, so it's easier to just forget the whole idea of going out."

"So then...why am I so special?"

"You? Well...c'mon, I mean...you obviously like soccer because you know who I am. You're very attractive, and I thought it would be fun to get to know you."

"Okay...sure. What the heck. I'll tell my friend that something came up. I'll see you at the game, and we can go out afterward. Where should I meet you?"

"At the Ronaldo museum entrance. It'll probably take me around thirty minutes to change, so just hang out, and I'll see you there."

When game day arrived, I met her as planned after the match. She had on a tight mid-thigh skirt, a sweater with a plunging neckline, and strap sandals. We took a taxi to Social B and had a nice meal. The atmosphere was perfect; we listened to Fado in the background. Fado is like Portuguese blues; it is melancholic and mournful. The lyrics are often based on the sea or the life and struggles of the poor. After our meal, we ordered some coffee while we got to know each other. Her accent stirred my soul. I learned that when you ask for coffee in Portugal, you get espresso unless you order an Americano; then, it's just regular black coffee.

"So, Sonia. The night is still young. Would you like to do something else?" I asked hesitantly.

"Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"Oh...I don't know. Maybe go back to my apartment for some drinks?"

"That'd be cool. I'd love to see where our soccer stars hide out."

It was a short taxi ride back to my apartment. After getting our drinks, we sat next to each other on the sofa, and I couldn't help but gaze at her body. My virgin hormones were raging, and I was eager to explore her pleasures. I don't recall who kissed whom, but we were laughing and playfully flirting one minute, and the next, we were eagerly necking.

I stopped and pulled back to look at her. I was overwhelmed with guilt because I felt like I was betraying Sam. I knew that it was silly because she was probably getting fucked by Ryan at that very moment. I was the last person she was thinking about. Anger and jealousy overcame me. Mentally shaking my head, I brought myself back to reality. I was with a beautiful woman who wanted to have some fun and damn it, that is what we were going to do. I couldn't keep torturing myself thinking about the woman who didn't want me.

"Is everything all right, Paul?"

"Huh? OH...sorry...I think I should tell you something. I'm...uhhh...a...virgin."

"You mean you've never had sex? How is that possible? You're so...I mean...look at you!"

"Uhhh...yeah. Uhm...no, I haven't...I'm sorry. Are you disappointed? Cause we can just hang out, or I can take you home."

"No way! This is going to be fun!"

Resuming my assault on her lips, she grabbed my hands and placed them on her firm breasts. Then, swinging her leg over mine, she straddled my lap. Our tongues battled for supremacy as we eagerly dueled.

She raised her arms, so I removed her sweater and threw it to the side, followed by her bra. Her beautiful tits, with their perky pink nipples, were now on display. Separating our lips, I bent down and latched onto her nub, tugging gently as I sucked.