Of Lust and Love

"Dio mio, stop, please, stop, I can't take anymore."

Grinning I relented and let go of her ankles. She reacted by unfolding herself and throwing her arms around my neck, kissing me wildly. I let her tremble and quiver through some aftershocks before I rested my body on top of her and let her feel that my hard-on had already returned. That was no surprise to me as seeing and feeling her in the throes of ecstasy had been hotter than hell but she put on a mock look of fear on her face.

"You want more? You devil in human form. What are you doing to this innocent maiden?"

I had to hold back my laughter. Innocent maiden. Yeah, right. She proved my disbelief correct when she extended an arm, pointing towards her bed stand.

"Condoms. Top drawer."

I didn't need another invitation and we were both glad that she had a big box of condoms ready as we depleted it severely over the remainder of the weekend.

+

On Monday in the office, I thanked Sarah for her efforts during our standardised morning meeting.

"That was a wonderful night you organised. I'm really grateful for the effort."

"My pleasure, Robert. I'm your personal assistant and I see it as my duty to take care of all these distractions for you."

"Not only are you the best personal assistant in the entire company, but you're also a good friend."

Sarah proved me right by making sure that I kept doing the right things. She made sure I got Francesca flowers every now and then or a box of chocolates or took her to the theatre or an opera. For the three months anniversary, I had asked Sarah to book a room at a romantic seaside resort and free up my Friday afternoon so I could get home early. As I wanted to surprise my girlfriend, I didn't announce that I was coming over shortly after noon. When I got to her place, I let myself in with the spare key she had given me and immediately heard the sounds of two persons having sex. Francesca and the unknown man were so engaged in their certainly satisfying activities that they didn't even notice me until I entered the bedroom and started speaking.

"Don't mind me. I'm just picking up a few clothes I left here."

That had an almost comical effect on both of them. The guy who had been fucking her hard pulled out and skidded off the bed to the floor, pulling a blanket with him to cover up. Unfortunately, that was the same blanket that Francesca had been kneeling on, so when he pulled it away from under her, she lost her balance and rolled over, her breasts wobbling and her gaping pussy exposed.

"Robert! What... It's not..."

"As I said, don't mind me. I'm just collecting a few things. It was a pleasure to get to know you a bit better."

I calmly walked over to the cupboard where I kept a couple of clean shirts and a backup suit and threw them over my arm.

"I'll throw the key into the mailbox and if I find anything that's yours in my apartment I'll have it brought to you," were the last words I ever spoke to her before I turned around and walked out of the bedroom.

On my way to the car, I called Sarah.

"Hi Sarah, Robert. Can you please cancel the reservation at the resort? Francesca and I just broke up."

"Oh, Robert. I'm so sorry," she gasped into the phone. Her voice had a somewhat strange modulation but I attributed that to the surprise and her sympathy. "What happened?"

That was the end of that relationship. I soon realised I had never moved on from my infatuation with her physical attributes as I wasn't really sad about the break-up. The sex had been fun but that was all I missed. My relationship with Sarah, while totally platonic, was far more personal and intimate and I'd miss her a hell of a lot more if she left me.

Chapter 03

Around the anniversary of my start at the company, I was told by my superior that he was leaving the company to begin a new challenge elsewhere. As soon as I heard that, I applied for his job. My job application and the plans of the company proved to be a perfect match as they had intended to promote me anyhow. The big damper came while I was preparing my office for the move.

"Sarah, when are you packing?"

"I'm staying here. My application to follow you has been turned down."

Turned down? There must have been a misunderstanding. I told her so.

"Bullshit. Start packing. I'll sort this out."

"I was told in no uncertain terms that I would remain here to help your successor."

I walked over to my desk, picked up the phone and called Debbie.

"What's this bullshit about Sarah not coming with me?" I barked into the phone as soon as she replied.

"Hi, Robert. It's been a while since we last talked. I'm fine, thanks. And yourself?"

I took a deep breath. She was right, of course.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Debbie. That was impolite of me. But I just got quite upset when Sarah told me that you turned down her application to remain my assistant."

"Well, you haven't filled out the necessary form so we assumed that you didn't want her to follow you."

"And you never thought about asking me? That maybe I didn't know about such a form?"

This quietened her down for a moment and rightly so. It was my first promotion and nobody had told me that such a form existed and needed to be handed in if I wanted to keep my PA.

"There's another reason. The request most likely wouldn't have been granted, anyhow. In your new function, you will regularly have to meet with customers and we, the board, felt that you need a more representable assistant for that."

"What kind of a sexist bullshit is that? Especially you as a woman should have given them hell for such a requirement. I want Sarah to remain my PA so I'll come down right away to complete that bloody form and you'll approve it immediately."

Debbie had not gotten to the position she was in by letting herself be bullied around by men on testosterone trips and she made clear that she wouldn't start with that today.

"The decision has been made. As of Monday, Cassandra will be your assistant."

"Cassandra?! That's that blonde dullard who doesn't know the difference between a telephone and a typewriter!"

I was fuming. I dimly remembered that I had turned her down during the first round of testing my way through the secretary pool. If I remembered correctly, she had been the fourth candidate. The one that didn't even last a full day.

"There's no need to get insulting, Robert."

"Debbie, I'll cut it short here. When I come to my new office on Monday, Sarah will be sitting at the desk in front of it. I don't want a different assistant. Either Sarah will tear up my resignation when I hand it to her or Cassandra or whichever window dummy is sitting there will bring it to you."

I slammed the receiver back on the phone.

"Robert, don't do that. Don't quit because of me. I'm not worth risking your career."

She was whispering, almost desperately, from the door. When I turned around to her I could see a tear run down her cheek. I quickly pulled out my pocket square to dry the tear away.

"Sarah. Dear. Your support is a big reason for my success and I will not let anyone break us up. We're a team. If I have to find a different job, I'll come back and get you. But say, didn't you know about that form I needed to complete? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to impose," she replied, speaking so quietly I barely heard her.

She had relaxed quite a lot since we started working together but right now she was back to her shyest. I told her to wait and went to get the annual performance review I had completed a few days ago but had not yet been able to discuss with her.

"Look at this. This is how I rate your work."

Her eyes threatened to fall out as she scanned the three pages, all filled with the highest possible marks, every mark explained in detail.

"You don't impose. I'd have to be stupid to let you go and you'll find out just how important you are when you receive your annual bonus."

Fifteen minutes later, Debbie showed up ostensibly calm and amicable.

"Hi, Robert. I just had a little chat with the other board members and we have decided to honour your friendly request. We also want to stress how much we appreciate that you didn't try to blackmail the company because that kind of behaviour would be totally unacceptable."

That was a fat red line that she drew there right in front of me and she also made sure that I knew what would happen if I either repeated the threat or deviated from the story she had just outlined.

"Debbie, how nice of you to come by personally to tell me. I'm really grateful that the board was so accommodating and quick regarding my belated request."

If there ever was a verbal handshake, this was it. We looked at each other for a few more moments before we both broke into a wide grin and engaged in a friendly hug.

"Seriously though, Robert. The board won't look favourably on such a threat again. Next time they'll accept your resignation."

"I strongly assume that I made my stance clear and there won't be another reason for such a threat. But you also need to know that if the board ever again makes a decision regarding my closest staff without consulting me, I wouldn't just threaten to quit. I'd do it."

The look Debbie and I exchanged said it all. We both had made our positions clear but the underlying conflict had only been partially resolved.

"Ok. Sarah, why don't you come by my office on Monday at nine so we can discuss your training needs and maybe a few other things."

"Yes, Mrs Warren."

+

"Good morning, Mr Senior Manager."

"Good morning, Sarah. How's the view from your new desk?"

"It just got a lot better, Robert."

I laughed out loud. That was the flirtiest thing she had ever said to me.

"Sarah!" I exclaimed, acting shocked. "Do I need to be worried?"

"You never need to worry about me, Robert. I'll always be faithfully yours."

I stopped my stroll into my new office and tried to catch her eye to see if there was a hidden meaning behind her statement but she had already turned to the coffee machine waiting for my morning fix to be ready. I came to the conclusion that she wasn't the type to have undertones in her statements and decided to proceed to my desk where the standard folder was already prepared. As soon as I sat, Sarah came in and introduced me to the tasks of the day.

"Mrs Warren called and told me that I would be gone for the rest of the day and won't be back until tomorrow morning."

"What? The whole day? What are you gonna do?"

"I've no idea but I'll see soon enough."

+

When I arrived in the office on Tuesday, I was in for a surprise. Instead of my very conservatively dressed Sarah with her strict topknot hairstyle there sat a beautiful blonde woman with a loosely bound ponytail, dressed in a dark blue blouse with the two top-buttons opened, and her black, lacy bra peeking out on top. I barely managed to keep my mouth from falling open.

"Who are you? Where's Sarah?" I asked with a grin on my face.

"Very funny. What do you think? Don't I look slutty in these clothes?"

She got out of her chair and showed that she had also changed her slacks for a knee length skirt.

"I think you look great and not at all slutty. You'd look even better if you felt comfortable in those clothes."

She dropped her eyes, a behaviour she had mostly discarded in the year we had worked together.

"I'm definitely out of my comfort zone."

"Listen. Debbie obviously wants you to put more emphasis on appearance as we'll regularly be meeting with customers but I want you to feel comfortable because that's when you work best. Let's try to find a middle ground. Maybe you can keep a spare set of clothes here and change if there is a reason for you to dress up."

The grateful look she cast me told me enough and I was wondering why I suddenly felt so good about myself.

Chapter 04

It was half a year later when I came into the office and was surprised to not find Sarah but her back-up sitting at her desk. It wasn't the first time that had happened, Sarah was entitled to four weeks of paid holidays, but it was the first time that I didn't know about it in advance.

"Good morning, Delia," I said politely. "Where is Sarah?"

Delia had been Sarah's stand-in almost since the beginning. Sarah had hand-picked her from the secretary pool, handed me the appropriate form to request her, and trained her on the job.

"Good morning, Mr Bergman. I'm covering for her until she returns to work after her mother's funeral."

I stood there, slightly shocked.

"Get her on the phone. Immediately."

It spoke for Delia that I had Sarah on the line only a minute later and she brought me a coffee shortly after.

"Sarah, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what your mother meant for you."

"Thank you, Robert. I'm sorry to desert you on such a short notice," she whispered into the telephone.

I frowned. That really was the last thing she should worry about right now. But I wanted to support and not scold her, so I didn't comment on it.

"Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need help organizing something? Or somebody who speaks with the lawyers about the will? Shall I bring you lunch or dinner?"

"It's ok. I have everything under control, I think. I hope Delia doesn't mess up too much. She is quite competent."

"Sarah, my dear. Work is the last thing I want you to worry about. You just lost the most important person in your life. I'll drop by in the evening and see if I can be of help. Ok?"

There was a moment of quietness before she replied.

"Yes, Robert. Thank you."

Delia did a good enough job as a stand-in for Sarah but she was far from being able to replace her. Deciding on an early evening I left the office around five and drove past a florist in order to pick up a bouquet of forget-me-nots. It was almost six by the time I knocked on Sarah's door.

A woman of roundabout Sarah's age opened the door.

"Yes?"

"Hi. I'm Robert Bergman, a friend from work. I just wanted to see how Sarah was doing and if there was anything I could do to help."

"Robert!"

Sarah pushed past the woman who had opened the door, threw her arms around my chest and started sobbing into my shirt. I pushed the flowers into the hands of her friend and returned the embrace, softly stroking her shoulders while Sarah cried and let her grief flow out.

While we stood at the door, I noticed a group of four more people standing in what I assumed was the living room. Two of them were quite a bit older than Sarah, two quite a few years younger. I heard them whisper in the background and saw them exchange curious glances.

After a few minutes, Sarah managed to compose herself a little. The first thing she did was try to apologize for smearing her mascara on my shirt, an apology I immediately rejected as unnecessary. Then she led me into the living room.

"This is Robert Bergman, my boss. Robert, this is my family. Mom's sister, Aunt Maggie, with her husband Henry, their kids Wayne and Grace and Mom's real daughter, Sophie."

"You are just as much Mom's daughter as I am, Sis, and anybody who says anything different will have to justify themselves to me," the woman who had opened the door for me replied like a shot before she turned back to me.

"So you're the infamous Robert," she stated with a wide smile, making me assume that my reputation was a bit better than that sentence suggested.

"I don't know about infamous but yes, I'm Robert. I'm not here as her boss, though, but as her friend. I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help but I can see that Sarah has all the help she needs."

Inwardly, I was already preparing to say goodbye again, but that was cut short quickly when Maggie approached me and took my arm in hers.

"Come in. We've heard so much about you. It's nice to finally meet you."

I could hardly suppress a smile when I saw Sarah cringe at those words. It was obvious that she didn't want me to know that. I tried to find a way to relieve Sarah from the awkwardness.

"Really? Well, I don't want to hear what she has to say about her boss. As I said, I'm here to support a friend."

There was a short tug of war between Sarah and Maggie with me in the middle which my assistant won.

"We were just about to leave, anyhow. The children have school tomorrow and we have some two hours driving ahead of us. Would you mind keeping her company for a little while?"

"Sure, gladly. Have you had dinner, yet, Sarah?"

"No, Robert but it's ok. I'm not really hungry."

Her sister Sophie was already drawing a deep breath to lecture her when she caught my eye, noticed me shaking my head, and stopped short.

"What about you, Sophie? You also live in town, right?"

"Yes, I have an apartment close to downtown which I share with my boyfriend."

Definitely not as bright as my Sarah, I thought to myself with a little inwardly smile and immediately scolded myself for this thought. While Sarah seemed more distraught at the loss of her mother, Sophie was clearly also hurting.

"And dinner?"

I could see how the light dawned on her.

"I haven't had anything, yet. I could throw a few things together and prepare something for all of us."

"Or I take the two of you out to a restaurant so we don't have to worry about cleaning the kitchen afterwards."

Sarah still sulked a little, "I'm really not hungry."

"Yes, you are, you just don't realise that yet. Let me treat you to dinner. Just a small soup if you really don't want anything else."

"Ok. If you insist."

Sarah's aunt and her family said their goodbyes and started their journey home. They would, of course, come to the funeral but until then there wasn't much they could do.

I steered the two sisters to my car, let them climb in and drove them to an Italian restaurant close to the city centre. The drive there was rather a bit quiet until I heard a grizzly bear growl on the passenger seat.

"Not hungry, you said? Sounds like it."

"Maybe a little," Sarah replied sheepishly to the quiet laughter of Sophie on the back seat. That little episode raised the mood in the car considerably and we chatted until we arrived at the restaurant.

Despite the solemn occasion, we spent two rather enjoyable hours, with lots of food. Both sisters had a tomato soup as a starter and a scaloppine al limone, a veal escalope with lemon sauce and noodles, while I had a carpaccio to start and a spaghetti al frutti di mare, spaghetti with seafood. The women did most of the talking, mostly sharing stories of their mother with me, or letting me glimpse at episodes of their lives, preferably slightly embarrassing ones. After all were sated and the conversation started to lull a little, I offered to take the sisters home.

"Thanks for the offer but I live just a three-minute walk from here, there's no need to drive me. Just make sure my sister gets home safely."

"Under no circumstances will I let you walk home alone in the dark," I replied, shaking my head at the thought of doing so. "What do you think I am? A barbarian?"

Sophie smiled at that.

"I know that you're not. Unless my dear sister lied about you."

"Sarah and I will bring you to your door, then we'll walk back here and I'll take her home and make sure she's safe."

We did just that. On our way back to the restaurant, Sarah tucked her arm into mine and leaned her head on my upper arm.

"Thank you for this evening. That was really nice and I feel much better now than I did before."

"It was my pleasure. I was really serious when I said I came to help a friend."

We came up to the car, I unlocked it with the remote control and opened the door for Sarah to climb in. When she was seated, I closed the door, walked around the car and got in myself. We kept the conversation light on the way to her home but when I parked the car in her driveway, she hesitated for a second.