Of Lust and Love

"Robert, you've done so much already but can I ask you for one more favour?"

"Sure. Anything."

"I don't want to sleep in this house alone tonight. Can I stay at your place?"

I was a bit surprised by this question but had already decided that I would grant her almost any favour, so my reply was affirmative before I could stop myself. Not that I wanted to.

"Of course. If it makes you feel better."

While replying, I thought of something more.

"Do you want to go in and pack an overnight bag?"

I saw her look at the house and hold her breath for a second.

"Only if you come in with me. Please?"

"Sarah. You really don't have to beg for anything. Just tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it."

She took a deep breath and I saw a spark of mischief light up her eyes for a fraction of a second but when she spoke again, it was gone.

"Come inside and give me a minute to pack an overnight bag."

"Getting bossy, aren't we?"

She looked at me in shock before she realised that I was pulling her leg.

"Of course. Now quick, get out of the car and open my door."

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied laughing but hurrying to comply. "Do you want me to carry you to the door as well?"

It didn't take her long to get everything she needed for a night. I took the opportunity to plan the nightly arrangement. While my apartment had three bedrooms, I only had one bed and I wasn't going to share it with Sarah. Fortunately, the couch in the living room was long enough for me to stretch out on as I have done on several occasions when I fell asleep watching TV. I wasn't sure how Sarah would react to that but I wouldn't give her an opportunity to object.

She was very quiet and untalkative on the way to my apartment. I parked in the underground garage, helped her out of the car, to the elevator and up to the third-floor apartment where I lived. It was plain to see that I was a bachelor and had never lived with a woman before. The furniture was sparse and functional, there were only very few decorations and it was not filthy but also not clean. Vacuuming was overdue by a week, I had clothes strewn about and the coffee mug from the morning was still standing on the table. The cleaning lady who was coming every other week was due next Monday. At least the kitchen was kept clean and tidy. I enjoyed cooking a lot, but only in a clean and organised kitchen.

I quickly picked up most of the clothing that was laying around and asked Sarah to sit down.

"I'll be right back, just a couple of minutes."

I went to my bedroom, cleaned it up a little, changed the linen and made sure that the master bathroom had a clean towel and a facecloth. I then took the clothes I would need in the morning to the small guest bathroom before returning to the living room. Sarah was studying my bookshelf when I came into the room.

"I've got to go to the office tomorrow so it's time for me to go to bed."

"I'll go as well. Where's my bag?"

"Already on your bed."

I led her to the bedroom where her overnight bag was waiting for her.

"Through that door is a bathroom which you can use. I've prepared a towel."

"But that..." she started protesting before I cut her short by closing the door.

I walked back to the small bathroom knowing very well that Sarah wouldn't let me have the last word so easily. Therefore, I was not surprised when the bedroom door opened and a fuming Sarah came rushing out.

"That's your bedroom. I'll sleep in the guest room."

"It's the only bed I have and you'll be using it. I will take the couch."

"You won't sleep on the couch because of me."

"Yes, I will and there's nothing you can do about it."

If looks could kill Sarah would have become a murderer at that very moment. I needed to de-escalate the situation.

"Sarah, please listen. I have to get up early for work tomorrow but you can sleep in a little. If I had another bed I would let you use it and sleep in my own. But as I don't, the only room you can sleep in and have it quiet in the morning is the master bedroom. I have everything I need. A shower, the coffee machine, clean clothes. I'll drop a house key on the kitchen table so you can leave tomorrow whenever you feel like it. Ok? Let me do this for you. Please?"

Tears came to Sarah's eyes but they were not sad tears. She took a couple of hesitant steps towards me. I saw a deep emotional vulnerability and turmoil in her eyes. I also feared that she might do something stupid in this state so I quickly pulled her in a hug and held her there.

"Thank you, Robert," was all she said after I had held her for a couple of seconds.

I let go of her and she slowly walked back to the bedroom. I went to the small bathroom, washed myself a little and dressed in my shorts and T-shirt.

+

The next morning I rose quietly, took a quick shower, dressed and left for work before Sarah woke up. I left her a note on the kitchen table, next to a house key and the key to my sports car.

'The car is parked in space 12. You can borrow it to get home. But be careful, it has a lot of power under the hood.'

Delia did an ok job, stepping in for Sarah, but she wasn't in the same street as my trusted assistant. Not even the same city. Maybe the same municipality. Still, I somehow came through the day without missing any meetings or being unprepared for one.

To my surprise, the car was still standing in its space. I parked the compact sedan next to it and quickly went up to my apartment. I tried the handle and, only slightly surprised, found the door was unlocked. I pushed it open and before I had the chance to announce my presence I noticed that my apartment had been cleaned. Thoroughly cleaned. The next things to catch my senses were the smell of food and the cooking noises that were coming out of the kitchen.

"Hello? Sarah? Is that you?"

I didn't get a reply but heard some very unfeminine expletives coming out of the kitchen. The voice was unmistakably Sarah's but in the whole time we had been working together, I had never heard her using such foul language. I slipped out of my shoes and hurried to help her.

A quick scan of the kitchen showed me that some kind of meat was being burnt on the stove while Sarah was trying to pour off some noodles. A small pan with what I assumed should be a sauce was boiling over and there was a half-finished salad on the counter. Before I had time to act, the oil in the frying pan ignited and flames started to flicker. Sarah let out a screech, recoiled, and dropped the pot she was handling into the sink.

The kitchen was equipped with an induction hob and my guess was that Sarah was not used to this so the first thing I did was to turn off the stove before I grabbed a kitchen towel and placed it over the burning pan. Once that was taken care off, I turned to Sarah who had sunk to the floor and was sobbing into the hands that were covering her face. I crouched down in front of her and softly touched her shoulders.

"Are you injured? Did you hurt yourself?"

"I'm so sorry. I wanted to welcome you home from work with a home-cooked dinner but all I did was to burn down the apartment. Everything happened so fast. Usually, I'm much better at coordinating things. I'll replace everything I damaged."

I couldn't care less about material stuff at the moment. My assistant and friend was in distress and needed support.

"Sarah. Dear. I don't care about anything in this kitchen but you. Are you ok? Did you get hurt?"

She finally looked up at me, tears still dripping from her eyes.

"No. I'm not hurt. Except for my pride."

I took her hands and rose. Once upright, I pulled her up and led her to the kitchen table.

"Sit."

When she had taken a seat I went to the cupboard containing the alcoholic beverages and poured her a stiff Martini and placed it in front of her.

"Drink and let me see what I can salvage here."

I lifted the towel from the pan and found two lumps of coal. The meat was lost but the pan could be cleaned. The sauce looked ok but had boiled down too much and had become too salty but the noodles were almost perfectly al dente.

"That's not too bad. I can make something out of this but I'm afraid it will be a vegetarian dish," I said to an embarrassed looking Sarah who had downed her drink in one big gulp.

"I'm so sorry. I wanted to thank you for letting me stay here overnight."

"The way my living room looks you've done more than enough already. You should have rested today and not cleaned up my filth."

"It wasn't so bad. A bit of tidying, a quick tour with the vacuum, some dusting and a little mopping."

I shook my head.

"Thank you very much for doing it but it was absolutely unnecessary. And now, let me see what I have in the fridge so I can prepare you a dinner."

I found some vegetables and a couple of eggs and quickly put together my standard lets-see-what's-in-the-fridge pasta dish. After dinner, I took Sarah home. It was time for her to face the fact that she lived alone in this house now.

Back home, I wondered why my apartment felt so incomplete. Nothing had changed in here, except that I had shared it with Sarah for a day.

Chapter 05

I called her the next day to make sure she was ok. Her sister answered the phone and I learned that she had moved back home for a couple of days so that the two sisters could look after each other. Confident, that Sarah was well cared for, I just called in every other day to see if there was anything I could do. The next time I saw her was at the funeral during which I was seated in the second row. The first row was reserved for the immediate family, the second for close friends. I was a bit surprised by that but when the mourners gathered around the grave and the casket was lowered into the ground, it was my arm that Sarah clung to for support and my shoulder into which she cried.

The following Monday, she was back at her desk. It took her a couple of hours to find her footing again but by Tuesday morning everything was back to normal. Over the next couple of weeks, nothing out of the ordinary happened. We worked together as efficiently as always but she seemed to have become a little quieter again. What I didn't notice at first, maybe because it happened slowly and gradually, was that she started to dress slightly more outgoing. A hint of cleavage here, a few centimetres of leg there or a sporadic speck of colour. Nothing outrageous, slutty, or even indecent but just more colourful and a little prettier. It provided me with a couple of embarrassing moments when I caught myself staring at her inappropriately or found it difficult to remember what I had wanted in the first place.

She also stopped going home on time every day but stayed for a bit longer. The effect it had on my department was astounding but I had to keep an eye on her overtime. My line manager kept a close eye on our budgets and it was already tight as it was but her contribution was worth multiples of the costs of her overtime. It took some tough negotiation with him so I could grant Sarah the raise she deserved.

Two months after the funeral, I asked Sarah to my office.

"You don't have much time, Robert. You have an appointment with Mrs Warren in five minutes."

"I know but I want to inform you beforehand about what we'll discuss there."

She looked at me with confusion.

"Ok?"

I put a serious look on my face and tried my best to sound stern.

"Over the last couple of months, I've come to the conclusion that your salary does not match your role in this department."

Her eyes went wide in shock.

"No, please. I need this job and I can't cut down my expenses even more. I can barely make ends meet as it is. The upkeep of the house is so expensive."

I had intended to play a joke on her but that reaction still surprised me. How could she seriously assume that I intended to either sack her or cut her salary? Was I too sparingly with praise?

"That means you'd welcome a twenty-five per cent raise, wouldn't you?"

"A twenty..."

Her voice trailed off while she tried to understand what I had just said.

"No. Twenty-five. Sarah, how could you possibly think that I was unhappy with your performance? The quality of your work is fantastic, your work ethic exemplary, and your reliability outstanding. I try to express my satisfaction with your work on a daily basis. What else could I do to show you my appreciation?"

"Nothing. You are generous with your praise, you're supportive, polite, and patient. You're everything an assistant could wish for in her boss but you know that I lack in confidence and when you looked so sternly I got scared."

At this moment Debbie entered my office.

"Hi, Sarah, Rob."

"Good afternoon, Mrs Warren."

Debbie's shoulders sacked downwards.

"How often do I need to tell you to call me Debbie? We're speaking at least twice a week to each other."

"Maybe once she has understood that her raise is because she does such great work, she'll come out of her shell a bit," I interjected.

Debbie addressed Sarah directly again.

"He already told you?"

Sarah nodded, refusing to make eye contact with either me or Debbie.

"Did he also tell you that you have to take a week off to compensate your overtime?"

"Please, I was hoping I could have it paid out. I could really use the money."

Debbie shook her head.

"Company policy stops me from doing that. Are you in need of money?"

"Kind of. There were some bills for house repairs which I had to pay."

Now it was my time to speak up. My trusted assistant needed a small financial boost and I was in a position to help.

"Debbie. I want to pay my employee here a special bonus for exceptionally good work. Say a month's salary. Payable as soon as possible. Take it from the department's bonus pot."

I turned back to Sarah, smiling at her.

"Is that enough to tide you over the next few days? You know, I could always lend you some more if you need it."

It took a while to convince Sarah that she had more than just earned that bonus. After Sarah had returned to her desk, Debbie and I discussed the administrative details.

+

Two weeks later, I went to an engineering conference and this was where I first met Tracy. It was by chance that we were seated next to each other during the gala dinner on the first night. She was there as a representative for another company. Fortunately, they worked in a totally different market than we did, so we didn't have to watch our tongues too much. We connected well during dinner, had a fascinating conversation and laughed a lot.

Despite all this and staying at the same hotel, we didn't end up in bed together during the conference but we exchanged contact information and spoke regularly over the next month. Six weeks after the conference, Tracy came to visit me. She arrived on Saturday afternoon and had made it clear that she had no intention of staying at a hotel. I made a reservation at my favourite seafood restaurant and got two tickets for a stage performance afterwards. I made no plans for Sunday or at least no plans that included leaving the apartment.

The dinner was great but she wasn't really interested in the play. During the entire performance, she kept glancing at her watch and when the show was over, she wanted to get to my place as fast as possible. While I understood that tastes and preferences didn't have to be the same, her behaviour still left me a little miffed. That didn't change when we got home.

I had barely closed the door behind us when she launched herself at me and kissed me aggressively. This clearly went too fast for my taste. I had never been one for quickies or hard sex. I had always preferred sensual experiences. When I tried to slow her down and change the tone of the encounter to a less animalistic lovemaking, she bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. I pushed her away, reaching for my lip to inspect the damage.

"Ouch. What the fuck was that?"

She replied with a predatory look while I checked my fingers for blood. It was then that I knew that this wouldn't work. She didn't come to the same conclusion however and with a few quick movements, she had shed all her clothes except for her panties. Quickly, she returned to me and started to undress me. She was a bit less aggressive but still very demanding about it and soon I stood there in only my boxers. I hadn't had sexual relations since Francesca and the sight of a nearly naked and willing woman put my cock on autopilot. Tracy was clearly encouraged by this and pulled me towards my bedroom.

Without hesitation, she kneeled on the edge of the mattress, presenting her backside.

"Come on, stud. Claim me."

Still overwhelmed, I approached her and pulled the scrap of cloth she used as panties down to her knees and started to finger her dripping pussy.

"Don't waste time. Shove it in and fuck me hard."

Somehow, I was incapable of resisting her demands. My animalistic brain had totally taken over and without further ado, I shoved my cock into her cunt. For the first time ever, I thought that crude expression for the female genital was fitting. This wasn't making love, it wasn't even fucking. This was pounding. This was banging. This was nailing.

I hadn't made more than four or five strokes when she arched her back and started to spank her own ass.

"Spank me. Hard. Come on. What are you waiting for? Spank me."

Finally, my sanity started to resurface.

"What? No! Are you nuts?"

With a frustrated growl, she pushed me out of her, spun around to lay on her back and used her legs to pull me closer again. Still not really up to date on the action I was back in her before I had a chance to end this.

Having your cock inside a woman does strange things to a male brain and without realising it I leaned forward and resumed banging Tracy as hard as I could. I had just built some kind of a rhythm when she grabbed my hands and pulled them to her throat.

"Yes! Choke me! Choke me! And fuck me! Harder!"

That was it. This had to end, right here and now. I pulled out, acknowledged by a dissatisfied growl from Tracy, and took a couple of steps back.

"This won't work. I'm not the guy to give you what you seem to need."

"Please, no! Don't stop now! I was so close!"

I shook my head and looked around for something to cover my nudity.

"I'm sorry, Tracy, but I'm turned off by the things you request from me. I'm not into that kind of stuff."

"Your cock says differently."

Her eyes locked on my still hard dick and she licked her lips. I could see how she planned her next attack and knew that I had to put a stop to that as fast as possible.

"Tracy. You're an attractive woman but I'm not into spanking or choking, or rough play in general. An occasional quick and dirty fuck with somebody I love is ok but not as a rule and not as a first time together."

"I thought you were different. That you had it in you to give me what I need."

I took a moment to reflect on what she said. Whether I had missed some signs that she was into demeaning behaviour, whether I had given indications that I wanted such a thing, or whether we were just plainly incompatible.

"I have no idea where you got the idea from that I would enjoy that but I don't. So if rough sex is what you need, I'm afraid you'll have to find it elsewhere."

It didn't take long for Tracy to collect her clothes, dress, and leave. She wasn't angry, just disappointed. We promised to call, to stay in touch but we both knew that it wouldn't happen. We liked each other, we enjoyed to talk to each other, we enjoyed each other's company but obviously not being compatible sexually our relationship was doomed before it even started.

Chapter 06

I strolled into the office the following Monday morning in a sombre mood. Sarah picked up on it immediately and didn't take long to pull the story out of me. Of course, I didn't want to go into specific details so I just mentioned that Tracy had some kinks that didn't sit well with me.