Our Femdom Valentine

"I know what you mean about it being a college town. But that does mean there's a lot going on all the time too. I met my girlfriend at a seminar at the university. You just need to get out more Craig, you're definitely not old."

"I know you're right. Just seems that by the time Friday rolls around, I have a list of things to get done at home and I'm too tired for any more people. My mother would tell you I'm hiding in the forests, but I just love nature."

"My girlfriend and I just did a trip to Yachats this weekend. Have you done much exploring on the coast?"

"Yeah, some, but I haven't been very far north out of Florence yet. I usually go east on my trips. I've been attacking the Pacific Trail in manageable chunks. But I did drive all the way south to the California border. Probably some of the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen."

"It's a shame to do all that alone. You sound like a romantic to me. Sandi and I are too. We love to camp out, and live to travel on any unfamiliar road. I think we might have a lot in common Craig. Maybe we should all hang out together sometime. You'd like Sandi, I think. She's like you, raised to be a proper lady. I guess I'm the odd one, born on the other side of the tracks."

"Doesn't matter which side we're born on Anna. You clearly made the decision to cross the tracks and get an education. Did you go to university here in Eugene?"

"Thanks Craig. That was a nice thing to say. And yeah, I got some scholarships and federal grants to help me get a leg up."

We'd been picking at out lunches as we talked. I actually like him more than I thought I would. Before, he was just an object — an unknown. Our work group was mostly all business. Now he's more real. But glancing at the clock on the wall tells me that time has flown by for us both. "Wow, look at the time. We better head back to the grind Craig."

He glances up, and rises to leave. He once again does his country gentleman role, and truly surprises me when he refuses to let me pay for my lunch. Part of me resents this old fashioned custom, but I see it brings him pleasure and let it go as unimportant. The whole inspection thing has inserted new thoughts into my mind. Craig was supposed to be our man-toy, now he's become a real person. I need to think more, and talk to Sandi.

Even the walk and conversation back to the office is enjoyable. "I'm glad we did this Craig. Let's do it again sometime."

"I'd like that Anna. Like I said, I'm just bad when it comes to meeting new people, so I'm glad you asked. How long have you been with Sandi, if you don't mind me asking?"

"We've known each other almost two years, and have lived together about a year and a half. I'll talk to her and see, but maybe you'd like to get together some weekend?"

"I enjoyed lunch with you today, so yeah; I'd love to meet her."

"I'm sure she'll enjoy it too. And Craig, I noticed you didn't blink when I said she's my girlfriend. I appreciate that, and think Eugene is a better place for you than Kansas."

"That's all part of my reasoning to move Anna."

"Please tell me to shut up if this is too forward, are you gay too, Craig?"

"No. I'm more interested in women, but I've had good friends who are gay. I didn't like what I saw them going though, in both high-school and college. To be honest, I enjoyed their company more than the other guys. Just never made it into the sack with any of them."

"Thanks Craig. Thanks for both the answer and the understanding."

"No problem Anna, just being me."

As we separate and head to our respective offices, I try to arrange all of what I just learned into some kind of order. First, he's no dork; that's for sure. Second, after being with him today, his attractiveness is more obvious. But, he seems more confident than I imagined. I'm not sure he's a submissive. He's definitely not a 'Macho Camacho'. But is he a submissive? Does he really have to be? Do regular guys get into this stuff? The biggest question is; How can I find out if he might be interested, without blowing it?

After a short time at my desk, I get up for a pee break, and to call Sandi. Picking up on the second ring, she asks, "What do you think?"

"As crazy as this sounds, I'm not sure what to think. First, he's super nice and a real gentleman. But I can't read him yet. He's not one of the A-team guys. In other words, he's no asshole. He's also up with the times on gender and sexuality issues. But, I can't tell you if he's our submissive male. But, he might be Sandi. He said he'd like to get together and meet you. We'll just have to put our heads together and figure out a way to find out if he's our sub guy. Okay, I got to get to a meeting. Love ya!"

After Anna's call, my mind is definitely not on my work. Thankfully, work's not too demanding and I double task on both work, and our need to learn more about submissive men. How can we determine if a man is a submissive? Obviously, when in doubt, search the internet. I type in the search on my phone, and scan the results enough to feel that at least we can read some on it tonight after work. While I'm at it, I might as well take some notes. Anna will be proud of me for solving at least part of our conundrum. I debate texting her, but decide to wait until tonight after more reading on the subject.

*****

— The Plan

Sandi is already home by the time I make it through the door. Not surprising, since I'd stopped by for a few groceries and picked up some Chinese food for dinner. "Hi babe, how was your day?"

"Pretty slow until you called me about Craig. I can't wait to meet him."

"Don't get your hopes built up too high, it wasn't as easy to tell if he might be our guy as I thought it would be. I'm not sure how to find out either."

When Anna presses her lips together like this, I know she's sort of stumped on something. "I think I might have found some help."

I let the silence expand, waiting ...

"Okay Sandi, is this one of your attempts to hold me up for a favor, or are you going to tell me what help you've discovered? Or maybe, I need to remind you that I already have you to spank and don't really need someone new?"

"As much as I'm tempted by a spanking, I'll tell — since it's important to both of us. After you called, it came to me to do an internet search. Look at all the links," and hand her my phone.

I look up at Sandi and ask, "Have you read any of these yet?"

"A few. Some are good and some kinda lame. But there does seem to be a theme running through them. I made a list. Let me see my phone for a sec, I'll show you."

When Sandi shows me her list, It's obvious she has been busy. Looking at her, the smile on her face is so cute! "You did good baby, I was pretty stuck all afternoon. So let's go over this list and I'll try to match anything to my first impression of him."

Scrolling my notes, I begin to read off the list of traits to Anna. "The male submissive personality is not to be confused with a meek, or awkward man. Very often, a sub male is confident, successful, and takes risks. It is thought that, in today's more stressful society, many sub males need to let some stress out by seeking out an authority figure in his mate in order to be free of being the one to make all the decisions all of the time. Thus, many of these men can be very successful and have important careers."

"Here's another; Many sub males are interested in so called high-powered women. That is, women who often lead the show. And here's another; A sub male often wants the female partner to make the final decisions on things such as dates, outings, and sexual activities. Where a misogynistic male might deem her a bitch, the sub male respects her wisdom and leadership."

"I don't know about this one Anna, but it says; Some sub males find the feet of a strong woman to be symbolic. If he likes to rub your feet, or wash them, or even offers to paint your toenails, this could be his way of showing some service to you. And this desire for providing service is an underlying trait in most subs, regardless of gender."

"This one is interesting. A sub male may not be eager to penetrate during sex. The reason is often that it is just one more responsibility piled on top of all the others. If he fails to perform up to expectations, it adds more to his load of stress. But ladies, don't confuse this with him being gay. It is very common of a sub male, so deal with it."

"Wow. This is good stuff Sandi. I wonder if that last one means like all the time? I'm sure these are just general traits, everyone is different. But, from what I made of Craig today, some of this encourages me that he could be a sub. But we want his dick to work too. Anything more?"

"Hmm, this one might fit from what you've said about him. Says that sub males often are like old-fashioned gentlemen. They tend to put extra emphasis on deference toward women. Look for demonstrations such as; opening doors and pulling out chairs for their lady."

"He did that Sandi. He held my chair for me at lunch. And he is super polite."

"Here's another one; His words support female power. A male sub supports the rights of women, often considers them the manager of the household, isn't timid in voting for female politicians, or working for female superiors."

"I'm still not sure about Craig, but as far as I'm concerned we most definitely need a man like this as a friend. What do you think, baby?"

"I've been thinking this all day, ever since I looked this stuff up. It's the internet, so we have to sift it, but some of it sounds pretty accurate. We need a guy like this, Anna. If he were sub enough, I'd fuck him in the butt...would you?"

"It certainly sounds like it could be fun, I have to admit that."

We both burst out in laughter. We sound like teenagers, but in a lot of ways this is all new to us."Okay, just a couple more I found online. Once initiated, and convinced his mate supports him, the sub male often is aroused by being teased in a sexual context, controlled, and punished for disobedience. In general, while structured BDSM can play a part in this, it is more often a Dominatrix and sub relationship. These relationships vary widely from mild to the more extreme, each one unique to the ones involved. "

I look over at Anna and say, "It sounds a lot like what you and I already do. We have to be sure to not just use him Anna. If he goes along, he'll be opening himself up to be pretty vulnerable. You know as well as I."

"Yeah, you're right Babe. Up till now it was all in some fantasy world." I look at her for several seconds without saying a word. I see my girl looking back at me, and feel the weight of taking on a sub male. "Like I said, you're absolutely right. I think what we have to do now is let this responsibility sink in for both of us. Do you think you can dominate a guy Sandi?"

Thinking before I speak helps arrange my thoughts. Finally, I know what to say, "I could do it with you ... alone, no. I could never do it alone. But, I could be your side-kick, maybe like a Domme in training. You could sort of make me dominate him, or something?"

"I'll get a name tag made for you Sandi. You'll be cute in your little black cat suit, spiked heels and a whip in one hand. Come here and give me a kiss. You did good looking this up."

To be honest with myself, looking this stuff up about sub males also helped me learn more about me and Anna. The part about each relationship being unique — Anna and I don't really fit the extreme end ... we're more intimate and gentle, even the spankings are not meant to be harsh. Even right now, sitting on Anna's lap, her strength holding me safe, I feel she is the leader ... I feel safe and sense an empathetic connection with Craig — or with any sub — because it seems to me that we so often walk similar paths. It's a path that I've found can be covered in thorns sometimes — I suppose it's a lifetime of learning that we all do. But for us outside of the normal box, it can be a more winding trail. But I have Anna. I give thanks every night before I go to sleep for the love I have been given. Poor Craig ... so alone.

"You're quiet all the sudden. What?"

"I was just being thankful I have you to love, and feeling bad for Craig — for anyone who is alone. I just wish everyone could be chill and happy Anna. I love you."

Such spunk and such tenderness in one package. We need to get out more, get involved around town...try to help others somehow. I think it would help us both. But not tonight ... enough for tonight. I should have thought to learn more about submissives. I have one who depends on me right here. Put more research on my to do list, I guess.

Pushing thoughts of research away, I turn my attention to the one sitting on my lap. Pulling her closer, she lays her head on my shoulder. "Sandi, babe I'm going to fuck you tonight with the strap-on. Lets go get cleaned up."

I smile when she obeys in such a simple way. No drama, no play-acting. She just obeys. What more could I want? That thought prompts another; Craig may be more for her than me. I want it to work for her. She's complex, wants to Domme a guy, but sub for me. Complex is fun, I love complexity ... occasionally.

*****

Even though it's been over a week since my lunch with Craig, Sandi and I continue to struggle over our plotting and planning on ways to bring Craig into our lives. The only solid idea that we think would be fun, may also be too bold. Our friendship with Craig is too new to really know — we need to really know him better in order to develop this friendship. It's a classic catch-22, but finally I decide we just need to do it and let the cards fall as they will.

"Okay, I'll call and confirm for the three of us, Anna. It seems like this is something Craig might get something out of, provided we're reading him right. I just hope it's not too much too fast. How many presentations will be there this time?"

"I know there'll be at least two this Friday. One is a sub guy in a presentation with Carol as his Domme. That's the one I want Craig to see. The other is a woman — I forget her name just now — anyway, she's bonding to her guy. I'm not very familiar with them, they haven't been coming to the club very long. I'm not sure, but they may be married."

Sandi's comment about reading him right nags at me. "You think it might be too much to soon Sandi?"

"I don't know either Anna. But we decided it may be easier to just let him see, instead of too much talk about it all. I still think that makes sense. It's not like any of us will be involved. Maybe you could tell him this will be an x-rated live show, or something?"

"That's a perfect way to say it Sandi. Thank you for being so clever. I'll make sure he knows it's in a scene club and x-rated. He's a big boy and can decide on his own. If he goes, it seems like a good indication he's a bit kinky, and a way for him to see what we're about. He may not like it, but then we'll at least know."

"If we just knew him better, we could all just talk about this stuff. It'd take more time though, with everyone just getting more used to each other, it could take months. I vote to just do it Anna, and hope for the best. But, it's you that has to work around him — that's what you need to think about."

"I have already. The way he handled you and me being together makes me think that even if he's not interested, it won't be a big deal at work. I don't normally run into him, so it could just go back to that."

"I think we've thought it over as much as possible. So I guess, invite him to come with us."

*****

— The Invitation

A little before noon, I once again go looking for Craig. For a moment, I observe him from a distance, taking in his features. He's certainly attractive enough. He'd be my first male sub ... my first male anything in a long time. Am I ready for it? It's mostly for Sandi ... that really boosts my desire to make it happen. But it's also for me, and in some tender, undefined way, I now know it's for Craig too.

Walking up behind him at his desk, I ask, "You have any plans for lunch?"

Turning to me, he smiles and opens his lower desk drawer, pulls out a lunch bag, then drops it in the wastebasket next to the desk. "Nope. Same place?"

Hmmm, he does have some spunk in him. "That works for me. Let's go."

On the walk down the street, we make idle chit chat. I see a new side of him this time ... he's more comfortable being with me. When he comments about being surprised by my invitation so soon after our first lunch, I see it as a good segue into the other invitation. "Well, Sandi and I have been invited to a thing at this club we often patronize. We thought it might be something you'd be interested in, so I figured lunch would be a good excuse to ask you, and see if you want to get out and see more of Eugene."

"I'm surprised Anna, pleasantly surprised. What's happening at the club?"

"Since I don't know you that well, let me say up front. This may be something too wild for you. But Sandi and I patronize a semi-private club that caters to an adult crowd of folks in town. They're good people, it's just a place to meet and socialize. Do you know much about the BDSM scene?"

"Not a lot. I'm probably like most folks, just what I see on some porn every once in awhile — and that one movie, Shades Of Grey. Seems like a pretty rough hobby."

"Well, I think a lot of the porn falls short of reality, and that movie wasn't very well received by those who actually participate in the scene — that's what it's often called by those who are more into it — the scene, like that makes it more mysterious, maybe. So don't let that scare you. Sandi and I don't participate in the more extreme physical side of it. But, I suppose you could say that she's the more submissive of the two of us. For folks like us it's really more of just a relationship thing, something to add spice to our life together. But I guess you could say, I'm the one who wears the pants. I shy away from the dominant label and settle for leader of the pack. Anyway, there are a couple of new people who will be there performing a short presentation — sort of a live act thing. These are usually pretty tame, but can be quite risqué. Sometimes there might be something more directly into the BDSM scene, but from what I gather, not this time. We just thought you might be interested in getting out this Friday, and we were already planning on attending. And here's our destination already, time for some lunch."

As before, Craig is a total gentleman. I know I screwed up explaining about Sandi and I. What ever — I'm not a speech writer. His loss if he's too shy.

"Wanna share a small pizza, Anna?"

"Yeah, sounds perfect ... and some iced tea."

Craig takes care of our order, then says to me, "So, I have to say that sounds like it would be an interesting night out Anna. I'm usually not a club kind of guy, but I think it would be interesting. Never seen anything like that in real life."

"Sandi and I may have been too forward inviting you — I'd call it an x-rated show probably — but I'm pretty sure this one won't involve all the trappings of the stereotype most people think of when BDSM comes up. If you want, I'm sure a search for things like submission and domination would bring up something to help you get an idea. You don't have to decide today, look into it first. It's not until Friday."

"I'm already curious Anna. It's not like my social calendar is overflowing. I'm going to do both; say yes to your invitation and look online to get more familiar. What time on Friday?"

"I'd say we pick you up around eight-thirty. That will give us time to get there about the right time."

"I'd be happy to drive if you want."

"I know the way, but it's sweet of you to offer, Craig. And you know, you're a complex guy. I was afraid you wouldn't go to such an event. It's a nice surprise."