Out of Gas

"May I?" he asked nodding to the coat.

"Oh. Sure. Thank you," she said as she let him take it while she set the other things down.

He helped her slip it on after which she thanked him again.

"My pleasure."

As she picked her things back up she said, "You don't strike me as the typical college student. Not that everyone in college fits into a mold or anything. You just seem...older and maybe...quieter."

"I'm closing in on the ripe old age of 26," he told her with a smile. "And I was in the military for a couple of years."

It was actually four, but that wasn't relevant.

"Oh. Okay. That explains it then," she said, returning the smile. "And thank you for your service."

Anderson only nodded and hoped she wouldn't ask any questions, especially about his time in Afghanistan. He'd done his best to compartmentalize that part of his life, and he never intentionally thought about it. Any time a memory tried to make its way to the surface, he shoved it back down as hard and as fast as he could.

Dreams were the only time the memories haunted him. In that world, the subconscious mind reigned supreme. He had no control over it, and that's when he saw their faces. Faces twisted in agony or death; the faces of both jihadists and his fellow Marines. Mercifully, there were only three Marines in his entire company of around 100 men killed during his first tour, and just two on his second. In that time, he'd watched one of them die, and seen the corpses of many dead jihadists, their eyes open staring into space, as well as many writhing in agony after a firefight or close air support was called in on their position.

He also knew he'd probably killed several men, but was only sure of having killed one, a man inside a building. As his fire team breached the door, and Anderson saw the AK-47 leveled at him, he fired his own weapon into the man's chest then watched his life drain away in the seconds that followed.

"Anderson?" he heard a voice say.

"Sorry. I was just thinking about something. What did you say?" he asked politely, not wanting to tell her what he'd been thinking of or rather trying not to think about.

"Did you need something to eat or drink before we go? I forgot to even ask. There's plenty if you're hungry."

He hadn't eaten since around one o'clock and it was a little after 7pm.

"If it's no trouble," he said quietly.

"No. None at all. How about a sandwich to go and something to drink?"

"That would be perfect. Thank you."

"Is ham okay? she asked.

"Yes. Ham is fine."

"Mayo? Mustard? Cheese?"

"You don't have to do all of that, ma'am. Plain is fine."

She gave him a kind of look that said he was being ridiculous.

"Mayo and a slice of cheese, please?" he said relenting to the pressure.

She spread the mayo and dropped a slice of provolone on top, then asked if he'd like coffee, bottled water, or a diet Coke.

"Water is fine," he said.

She dropped the sandwich in a baggy, grabbed a napkin then handed them to him while she got out a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Okay. That should do it," she said as he thanked her one more time. "Except please call me Alisha, okay?"

Anderson agreed then followed her back outside to an older car than the one her daughter drove. It started up just fine and ran smoothly so Anderson didn't give it any additional thought as they drove along in the rain. The only problem he saw was how her wiper blades were almost worthless. At one point early on she even mentioned it.

"It really is coming down. I can barely see the road."

"I can replace those for you," he replied.

"No. I wasn't hinting. I was just commenting. That's very kind of you, but I don't even have a set."

Anderson made a mental note to buy them for her then come back and replace them as a way of saying thanks that was more than just words.

As they drove along Alisha started talking.

"Caryn's always been a handful. She has a brother who's a year older. Bobby. He was the golden boy. Never so much as rolled his eyes at me. Not Caryn. She questioned everything. She rebelled against everything. Same home, same rules. Two completely different kids."

Anderson thought twice before saying anything, but knew he couldn't just sit there and say nothing so he asked a question.

"You mentioned you live alone. Is their father out of the picture?"

The light from the dashboard was just enough to illuminate her face, and Anderson saw her nod slightly.

"He is. He walked out on us when the kids were six and five. Well, Caryn was a month shy of five, but yes, we live alone."

"I know it sounds trite, but I am sorry," he told her.

"No, it's not trite. It's very kind of you to say."

"I'm fortunate to have both parents. They struggled financially to raise my older brother and me, and both of them work full time. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been, especially with one of your children being..."

"Challenging?" Alisha said. For the first time, she smiled a genuine smile.

"My parents say we were both pretty good kids, but we did give them a lot of grief. I'm just grateful they hung in there and didn't give up."

He turned toward and said, "Like you with your daughter."

"You can't give up, Anderson. No matter how hard it is, you can never give up."

They rode along in silence until they got to the gas station. She pulled up to the pump and said, "I need gas myself, so if you want to go pick up the can, I can put it all on my credit card."

"I hate taking anything from anyone, but I'm in between the proverbial rock and a hard place, so all I can do is thank you again."

She turned the engine off, smiled again, then said, "I'm happy to help out. It's a little odd, but I've really enjoyed talking with you."

Almost immediately she said, "You're not odd. But enjoying a conversation with someone who is almost a complete stranger—and your age—is. Don't you think?"

"I didn't think you meant me, Alisha. And yes, it is a little unusual to...what? 'Hit it off' with a complete stranger? Whatever the right words are, I agree with you."

"I guess I shouldn't have just assumed you were enjoying it as much as me. You're young, smart, and it's no secret that you're very handsome. So talking to a middle-aged mom probably isn't quite as much fun for you as it is for me having someone so pleasant to talk to."

Anderson was going to respond, but Alisha opened the door and got out, so he then did the same thing. She fished out then inserted her credit card and began pumping while he went inside.

"Evenin'," an older man said.

"Oh, hey," Anderson replied.

"Can I help you find anything?"

"Yes, sir. I need a gas can. I ran out up near Greenwater, and..."

"That's a heck of drive. How'd you get clear down here?" he asked as he pointed toward the plastic containers near the front of the convenience store.

"Oh, it's a long story and not one that's very interesting, I'm afraid," Anderson told him as he checked the amount the containers held.

"That's the largest we've got," the man said. "Holds 2.5 gallons. How many miles to you get to the gallon?"

"Normally about 20, and it's mostly downhill. Even so, it's gonna be close."

"Yeah, there's only one station up there and as you know, it's closed. The next one is right at 50 miles here in Enumscratch."

Anderson had forgotten folks often changed the 'claw' in Enumclaw to 'scratch', and it made him smile when he heard it.

"That nice lady out there is helping me out, so she'll be putting this on her card," Anderson told him as he set the can on the counter.

"Okay. Sounds good. Why don't you take it on out and fill 'er up so she doesn't have to pay twice?"

"I would have. I just didn't want to do that without your permission."

"You don't look like a thief to me," the man told him with a wink. "Go ahead and fill 'er up."

As he got close, Anderson heard the sounds of the hose clicking indicating the tank was full, so the timing was perfect.

"Oh, great," she said. "Just set it down and I'll fill it up for you."

"I feel like I should be doing that for you," he told her with a smile.

She laughed quietly then said, "Why am I not surprised you're also a gentleman?"

Anderson explained the 2.5 gallon/50 miles back to town problem so Alisha filled as full as possible. Anderson screwed the nozzle back on, twisted the cap tight, then thanked her yet again as she popped the trunk with her key fob.

The man inside hit the intercom button and said, "The young man says to put the can on your card. Is that what we're doing?"

"Yes, please," Alicia said.

"Good enough. I'll print out your receipt."

Anderson went back in and grabbed it, then got back in the car that was already running. The pumps were under a large carport, but it was still blowing and raining hard. He saw Alisha trying to smooth her long, dark hair again, but it was pretty much hopeless.

As she put the car in gear she said, "I bet you didn't know you were riding with the Wicked Witch of the West."

Anderson recalled his earlier thought then chuckled.

He looked over at her and said, "I beg to differ. I wasn't going to say anything, but you're a very attractive woman, and having your hair blown around a little isn't going to change that one bit."

"Listen to you!" she said as she pulled back onto the road. "We both know that isn't true, but thank you for saying it."

"No, sorry, but it is true. I was trying not to stare back at your house, but you really are very good looking."

"Okay, if you say so," she said.

It was pretty obvious to Anderson she enjoyed hearing that. What wasn't obvious was whether or not she actually believed him. Since the issue of her living alone and her looks had come up, Anderson decided to ask another question.

"If I'm out of line, please tell me, but because you are such an attractive woman, I'm just curious as to why you live alone. Again, if it's none of my..."

Before he could finish she started talking.

"For the first few years, I was hurt and, quite honestly, very angry. I'll even admit to being angry at pretty much all men. My dad walked out on us when I was about twelve, and I never forgave him. When my husband did the same thing to me, I was devastated. And furious."

"So did you ever get beyond that?" he asked respectfully. "With hating all of us men?"

Alisha laughed then answered his question.

"Eventually, yes. But by then I was working two jobs to pay our bills, and there just wasn't much time for dating or romance or anything close to it."

"Are things any better with both of your children out of the house now? I'm assuming your son is, too."

"He is. He's a pilot in the Air Force. He just got his wings last summer. Bobby went to the Air Force Academy so it didn't cost a penny out of pocket. I went to his winging ceremony, by the way, and I cried through the whole thing while Caryn sat there shooting daggers at me."

"Jealousy maybe?" he guessed.

"Oh, in the worst way. She thinks I think her brother can do no wrong, and that she can do no right."

Alisha paused for a few seconds then said, "I can't really say she's wrong, though. I love them both very much, but when one child is happy, pleasant, and obedient while the other is just the opposite, it's very, very hard not to have a favorite. I've tried so hard to never let it show, but Caryn is relentless. She gets angry and upset over the least little thing that doesn't go her way. And worst of all she blames anyone and everything but herself for whatever it is that got her upset in the first place."

Anderson didn't say anything, but a few seconds after that Alisha glanced over and said, "I'm assuming Caryn may have tried to um...cozy up to you...and if you didn't respond with outright enthusiasm, that would explain a lot."

"Gee, how do I say this in a way that won't sound terrible?" he began.

"Don't worry about how it sounds, Anderson. I've heard and seen it all many, many times."

"Well, yes, I suppose you could say she was hinting around at she and I might, well..."

"Get together?" Alicia said supplying the words.

"Yes. In a word."

"She's never been subtle about her feelings with regard to boys she likes."

She looked over at him and said, "Sorry. I meant 'boys' generically."

"No offense taken. I'm not a girl, so that only leaves one other option, right?"

Alisha laughed a genuine laugh then said, "These days, I'm not so sure. Gender roles are so muddled and confused, I can't keep track."

"Oh, I hear you. On campus, people get downright offended if you try and 'force them to live in a binary world'."

Anderson's tone of voice was slightly mocking of those who say such things, and that, too, made Alisha laugh.

"I guess I'm just old fashioned where that sort of thing is concerned. I like being a woman and having a man treat me like one."

She smiled, glance over at him, then said, "But then again, maybe I'm just old."

She laughed but he didn't.

"I don't know your age, but I can assure you, you're not old, Alisha. Not by any stretch. And you really are beautiful. And you're also very pleasant to spend time with. I can't imagine you'd have any trouble finding a husband if that's something you're interested in."

She sighed then said, "You're very sweet to say that. The truth is, I am interested, it's just been so long since I really dated, and I've gotten so used to living alone, I'm not sure I could readjust to sharing my life with someone. Does that make any sense or does it just sound selfish?"

"It makes a lot of sense, and no, it doesn't sound selfish. I'm as private a person as you'll find, and as much as I'd like to find that special someone one day, I'm a little paranoid about dating because I don't much like to talk. In my experience, and no offense, most women do. So you can see how that might be potentially problematic."

"None taken. It's true. Most women do enjoy talking. I'm not one of them in spite of my nearly-constant chatting since we left the house. And I'd say you're doing just fine to me. In terms of talking, that is," she told him.

"Yeah, it's funny, but it feels different with you. I'm not sure why, but I find myself actually wanting to talk you, and I can assure you, I never feel that way."

"Are you an introvert?" she asked.

"In a big way."

"Me, too. So is my son, Bobby. Caryn is the extrovert, and that's one more 'oil and water' issue between us. I'm happy curling up with a good book or watching a movie all by myself. That's another big reason I don't 'put myself out there' when it comes to dating."

"Ah, hah. I knew there was a reason I liked you so much," he said with a bit of a laugh.

"I thought it was because I was so..."

She pretended to throw her hair back the way a pretentious woman might do and said, "Beautiful."

Anderson, who laughed far less often than he spoke, couldn't help chuckling at her antics.

It got quiet then he said, "You are, you know. Beautiful."

This time Alisha didn't play off his comment. She just quietly thanked him.

After a couple of minutes of silence she asked him a question.

"I know you're a fellow introvert, but do you date at all? Is there anyone special in your life or are you even looking?"

"I'm always 'looking'," he told her. "Just not always actively."

"So you kind of wait around for love to find you? Is that fair to say?"

"Hmmm. Maybe so. In fact, it's probably spot-on accurate."

He had no intention of discussing his past hook-ups, the exceptions to his rule. His reply was therefore true with regard to 'dating', just not to hooking up.

"I almost never ask a girl out I don't know. I guess I prefer to wait until I find myself fortuitously talking with someone who interests me. That's when I tend to do most of my asking, and I don't do a whole of it at that."

"We have something else in common then. I'd say maybe nine of the last ten guys I've gone out with are men I just happened to find myself talking to who then asked me out."

"It sounds like you do at least date," he said.

"Keep in mind those ten or so guys are over the course of um...let's see...maybe the last ten to twelve years or so?"

"Oh, my goodness! You're even out-introverting me, Alisha."

"What can I say? I've got this whole 'I am a rock' thing down pat," she tried saying with a level of confidence that was belied by her other words.

"Well, then I guess that makes me an island," he quipped using the other half of the line from the old song.

"You're too young to be a Simon and Garfunkel fan."

"Ah, but my parents aren't," he told her. "I've heard 'em all. In fact, 'The Sound of Silence' may be my favorite song of all time."

"It wasn't their intention, but it's kind of the ultimate ode to introverts, right?" Alisha said.

"I think that's a big part of the reason why I like the song so much," Anderson said as he tried to make out her face in the dark. He'd already concluded she was beautiful, and just then realized she was more like him than any girl or woman he'd ever met.

They continued chatting as they drove, and each time something came up, one or both of them said, "I know!" or "Right!" or "I agree!"

They passed the only gas station that was closed and Anderson said, "It's not too far from here. I'm on your lefthand side."

"Okay. Is it visible from the main road?"

"Definitely. When I ran out of gas, I had enough time to get off the road, but not to find some place that was more out of the way. My biggest fear was being unable to get completed off the pavement and causing an accident. If my failure to plan ahead hurt someone, I'd never forgive myself."

She looked over at him briefly and said, "You're also responsible. I think my daughter really blew it this time."

"I understand what you're saying about her, and it seems like she's been steadily improving. With a little more time, she may end up more like her mom, and that would be a very good thing."

She glanced his way again then smiled.

"If I wasn't so old, and please don't say I'm not, I'd think you were flirting with me."

"I'm not much for flirting," he told her truthfully.

"And especially not with women your mother's age, right?" she said lightheartedly.

"It has nothing to do with age. I just don't tend to flirt."

He paused for effect then said, "Unless she's made a real impression on me."

A second quick glance told her he was not only looking at her but that he meant her. For reasons she couldn't explain, that look and those words stirred her to her core. They stirred up feelings she hadn't experienced in years; feelings she'd almost forgotten. And yet there they were, welling up inside and radiating out through her entire body.

Not sure how to respond, Alisha didn't. She drove along in silence for another mile or so then said, "Is that where you left your car?"

There were flashing lights, and as they got closer, they could see a tow truck. The driver, who was wearing rain gear, pulled himself up into the cab, and put the big rig into gear.

"You've gotta be kidding me," he said. It had only been a couple of hours since he left the car. Maybe he wasn't as far off the road as he thought.

"What do you want me to do?" Alisha asked.

"Can you maybe honk your horn?"

She honked once then twice, and as the truck drove on by, she hit it a third time for several seconds as they both hollered out, "Wait! Hold on!" as though the driver could hear them.

"Great," Anderson said as he watched the flashing lights disappear in the rear window.

"What now?" Alisha asked.

"For starters, we should probably get out of the middle of the road," he told her as he scanned ahead and behind. There were no other cars, so she was able to make a U-turn after backing up and turning around.

"Oh, right. Oh, my gosh, I completely forgot about traffic," she said as backed up then turned around.