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We transferred to her gate and talked and I couldn't disagree with her decision after hearing her share how she felt, but I knew the discussion she would have with her fiancé would be a difficult one.
I wanted her to call me and tell me how things worked out, but I never heard from her again and wasn't sure if I should have called her or not because I suspect in the end she revised her decision and probably did get married. I'll never know.
- COMMENTS
MoMiner64Meteover 4 years agoI liked the story very much. However, I saw a problem that I myself have in my own writing. Run On Sentences! They are hard for the reader to follow after a short period. And it is very easy to fall into the trap of run on sentences. Despite that the story was really entertaining and very sexy and sensual. Who the hell cares about an isolated typo? Most times they don't harm the story content.
germanchocolate4uover 8 years agoI enjoyed the story. It was very descriptive, funny, and hopeful. I would love to see these two reconnect. What do say, stormy_rainbow, how about a part 2.
KittieLiover 8 years agoI liked it, the build up to the sex scenes was worth it. But if you would use more detail in having them orgasm, it would make it even better. Taking your time to describe every movement, scent, taste and exchanges of words and moans. If you like to keep your writing simple, you can still do that. You're dialogue was teasing and flirtatious and sexy. So, you could continue with that. I think that was my favorite part, it made me smile and feel warm inside. It was good, keep writing!
pseud277over 8 years agoNo spare excess here - no fake regrets or anything. Very sexy. Writing was a bit rocky at the beginning, but grew warmer and more fluent when just about the two of them.
Anonymousover 8 years agoI loved everything about your story. So many parts were unexpected which made it even more interesting. I hope you're adding other chapters to this PLEASEEEEE!!!!!
