Pursuit of Happiness Pt. 01

"I thought about you often, and then I started seeing you here and there around campus. I wasn't trying to find you or anything. It just seemed like I'd go someplace and you would be there. I told Tammy about you and my crush. She is a very loving person and not possessive at all."

She smiled at her lover. Tammy took over the discussion.

"I believe that life is about the pursuit of happiness. Happiness is something you strive for all your life. Why deny yourself any chance for it that comes along. If Carie wanted to be with someone else to be happy, I would support her."

I sensed there was more to Tammy's words, but I didn't push it.

"When I told her that I knew you had been in Advanced Cognition, Tammy said she knew the professor," Carie added.

"Professor Jenkins and I are intimate friends," Tammy explained with a naughty smile. It surprised me a little. Professor Jenkins is a man and married, from what I recalled. I guess Tammy read the look on my face, "Yes, I like men too if you couldn't tell."

"Yes, I was wondering," I said chuckling.

"I asked him about you. He went on and on about what a great person you are. He described you as brilliant, caring and possessing a warm heart. He thought I was interested in you and strongly recommended that I seduce you. I thought about it, but I would never do that to Carie. She would have killed me."

"So," Tammy went on, "I asked about you, and he told me where you lived and mentioned that you often had to work a lot of odd jobs to have money. He decided to help me out. He scheduled a meeting with you to talk about potentially changing majors."

"Yeah, I remember that!" I exclaimed, "He wanted to talk to me about work with him on an AI project dealing with cognition patterns."

"So, I came by and followed you. I was not sure how I was going to approach you. When you darted into the market, I hatched a plan."

"So you bumping into me when I came out wasn't just a coincidence?" I asked, surprised. I was starting to wonder if I had a pair of stalkers here. Of course, given that they were incredibly beautiful and sexy stalkers, I might not mind.

Tammy giggled and said, "My dear boy, don't you know, there are no coincidences."

"So, I deliberately destroyed your groceries, knowing you were on a limited budget. So, I offered to buy you dinner to make it up to you. You turned me down," Tammy said, pretending to be disappointed.

"I thought you might have been hitting on me," I confessed.

"Oh, well I'm glad to see you find me attractive," she said sarcastically.

"I didn't mean it that way, I just was too focused on my studies and work to go out with anyone. I thought you were pretty, but I didn't think about you that way. Not until today."

"I noticed," she replied. "So, when you refused, I insisted on letting me buy you coffee and hinted at a possible job opportunity. That got your attention. Over coffee, I explained to you about working for me as a model for my art classes."

I felt like she had skillfully manipulated me. I wasn't angry about it. On the contrary, I was flattered. Something about it was a little unsettling, though. It's like, I wondered how devious these women could be.

"She did it for me," Carie explained. "I'm sorry that we manipulated you like that. I wanted to meet you, but I didn't have any way to do so. I couldn't just walk up to you out of the blue and ask you to go out."

"You could have," I said. "You're drop-dead gorgeous. I would have been nuts to refuse."

"Or," she countered, "you might have ignored me with your head into your studies like you ignored Tammy. I didn't want to take that chance. I just thought it was a win-win situation for everybody. You could get a good paying job to help with your living expenses. I'd get a great model to sketch. Then the added benefit was the chance to talk to you and get to know you."

"But, I've been modeling for you guys all semester and you never once even spoke to me."

"I was afraid to," Carie admitted. "I didn't want to scare you away or ruin things. So, I kept telling myself, next time I'll talk to him. Next time I'll confess my feelings. Instead, I just watched you, listened to you talk to Tammy and some of the other girls. They all played along. They agreed that none of them would try to steal you from me."

Her choice of words made me raise my eyebrows. She saw it and laughed. "You must think I'm a stalker," she said, giggling. "Maybe I am."

Tammy rubbed her hand on my belly, just above my pubic hair. "Well," she broke into the story, "when I saw that Carie was too afraid to make a move, I decided to push things forward. That's when I asked you to model nude for us."

"I didn't know she had that planned!" Carie snickered. "I was shocked when you took off the robe and had nothing on under it. I was expecting boxers, but when I saw you naked, I couldn't take my eyes off your cock. After, I couldn't get it out of my mind. After class I attacked Tammy, and we had sex right here."

"I fantasized about you constantly. I even let Tammy take my virginity with a strap-on, pretending that it was you. She had me call her Todd as she took my cherry. It was incredible, but it only made me want you more."

I was doubly shocked. I could feel my cock starting to get hard again.

"The semester continued, and you came and modeled for us. I couldn't get you out of my head. But, week after week I couldn't do it. I would hate myself for being a coward. Today is the last session of the semester, and we won't have any more chances. So, Tammy and I decided that we would take things to a new level tonight. We told the girls our plan, and they were all excited to help us make it happen."

I was observing her. She had tears in her eyes. So did Tammy.

"Last night, we finalized the plans, then Tammy and I made love. She tried to please me, but she knew where my mind was. She finally put on the strap-on and fucked me. I knew it was tearing a hole in her heart to have to pretend to be you to make me happy. I stopped her, and we just held each other. She loves me enough to let me go and to help me with you."

I saw Tammy was crying and looking away. I felt terrible. I didn't want to come between the two of them.

"I saw the way you looked at Carie every time you modeled," Tammy said, through her tears. "I know that look. It's the same way she looks at you. It's how I look at her. She's never looked at me that way, and never will." Tears rolled down her cheeks.

I felt myself starting to choke up. I couldn't get any words out.

"I'm so sorry we tricked you, Todd," Carie said, looking down. "I understand if you hate me. I just wanted you to be the first man to make love to me. I will remember this night forever." When she finished, a tear ran over her lovely cheek.

I sat up and held her face in my hand, gently wiping the tear away with my thumb. Words wouldn't come out. Instead, I kissed her. She melted into my arms, and the kiss lingered and grew passionate. Tammy stood and started walking away. I pulled back, still holding Carie in my arms, "Tammy, wait," I nearly shouted, "You don't have to go."

I was more than happy to have her here and to share Carie with her. I was the intruder in their relationship. She shouldn't have to give her up for me.

Tammy paused and looked back over her shoulder. Tears were streaming down her face, but she smiled at us. "Yeah, I do." She blew a kiss to Carie then turned and left us alone.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say before Carie pulled me back into a loving kiss. Our tongues found each other again, and I started aggressively undressing her. She helped me, and within seconds she was naked. I dragged her to lay next to me and the cushion.

We made love that night until the wee hours of the morning. After, I went back to my apartment, packed up a bag and moved into her studio. We lived there for the next year in absolute bliss. Tammy got used to us being together and joined us many times. Some of the other girls from class would come by, and I would model for them in private.

One of my prized possessions, which I have on the wall in my bedroom to this day, is a sketch of me from that night of modeling. Carie did it after we had sex and I was asleep. It shows me laying on the fur-covered setee, legs open, my well-fucked cock laying across my thigh, with her juices dripping from it. I'm laying back, asleep. It reminds me of that night every time I see it.

We married, shortly after I graduated. I landed a job at a high-tech think tank in Santa Clara, California. Carie was going to convert her studio into an art school and gallery. We were beyond happy. We honeymooned in Cancun for two weeks, and they were the happiest two weeks of my life.

Three months later, she was stopped at a Circle K, filling up her gas tank, when two gang-bangers jacked her car and took her with them. They raped her repeatedly for three days then shot her in the back of the head. They dumped her in the trunk of her VW Bug convertible, and by the time the police found her body, it had decomposed beyond recognition.

I never saw her beautiful face again. I never heard her angelic voice calling out my name as we made love. I never held her in my arms.

I guess that's when I changed.

Chapter 2

Calling it a change is not very accurate. It was more of an awakening or a transformation of my core nature. I became someone different. It is said that evolution sometimes comes quickly and with great pain. If that's true, then I was evolving.

I started drinking heavily, lost my job, my cars, my house. I was on the verge of being homeless and was utterly hopeless. Then, as I was at the proverbial low-point, I met a woman named Candice. She cleaned me up, took care of me and introduced me to the joys of Tantra.

Tantra changed my life.

Sex with Candice was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. It went deeper than mere physical pleasure. Sure, she took my body to the extreme heights of ecstasy, but she did something miraculous. She caused something inside me to open and feel this pure, mighty flowing of love through my body, mind, and soul.

She called it "communing with the Goddess." I called it bliss.

It started out with changing things about me. Candice introduced me to clean living. I stopped drinking. I ate only whole, vegetarian, organic foods. She taught me yoga and meditation. She taught me how to look inside myself and see the "inner light" and to draw energy from the Universe into my being.

I know that all sounds like some New Age bullshit. I get that. I always thought that crap was for the foolish sheep who blindly sought enlightenment with any new, designer trend that came along. But, with Candice, I never once felt that way. She guided me slowly, step-by-step to be the man she knew I could be.

She taught me how to give love to receive love. She also taught me how to give pleasure entirely with no desire for or expectation of receiving any reciprocation. Then, she showed me an even more important lesson, that to want and accept joy, selfishly is not selfish at all. To fully give love, we first have to know how to receive it.

As I progressed in our training, I learned that sexual pleasure is the flowing of the life-force energy inside and around us. As our bodies become aroused, the energy flow increases, growing stronger. It mixes with the life-force of our lover and flows in and out of her with our breath. The more pleasure we feel, the more connected we become, and the more energy flows. The energy is called Qi and is the pure life force. The Qi is the primal force of love in the Universe. If you think about it, there's a logic to it. Love leads to sex. Sex is about procreation or the creation of life. So to create life, you become aroused. The energy that causes arousal is the same energy that produces life, which derives from love.

It may sound like nonsense to you, but as Candice straddled me, took my rigid cock inside her warm, wet pussy and told me to "breathe deep and feel the light of the Goddess flowing down into your body," I felt it.

As we made love, she told me to breathe out slowly and send my sexual energy out of my cock and into her pussy. I could see in my imagination light energy flowing down and out of my cock into her. Then as we came together, our mouths pressed tightly, chests together, and she said, "become one with me, with the Goddess and with the Universe," I experienced a life-expanding, overwhelming climax.

After a year, I was happier than I'd ever been. I had started a software design firm, combining the learning I acquired at the University in both Computer Science and Business. It was a small, five-person shop, and we barely made any money. However, we designed a data management solution that was light-years ahead of anything the big companies could produce.

I was living with Candice. We had sex every day, in various ways, and she mentored me in so many things. I loved her. My traditional lifestyle told me that the right thing to do was marry her. So, I came home from work one day, all smiles. I was happy all the time, so that was nothing surprising. She was not there. I found a hand-written note from her on a pillow. I recognized her flowing cursive style immediately. When I lifted the paper, her scent filled my nose.

It said:

"Todd,

I love you, and you feel the same way toward me. I've suspected for a while now that you've been wondering where our relationship is going. I think it is time we took things to the next level. Don't you?

Come to me at the address below. Be there at 8:00 tonight. Be sure to bathe first, then wear the yoga outfit we got last week. Tonight we will stand before Shiva and Shakti and unite as one.

Namaste,

Candice"

I was surprised and read the note over several times. I smiled as I realized she had felt the same thing I had. Sometimes, good things do happen to people. As Candice told me, "the Universe wants you to be happy." It was our egos which got in the way and prevented our happiness or caused us pain.

We had a large, deep, Japanese style bathtub. I showered and climbed into it, letting the scalding hot water soak into my muscles. I sunk down, feeling it relaxing me all over. I breathed in slowly and deeply and visualized the light of the Universe descending into the top of my head, then through my body.

When I felt fully energized, I thanked the Universe and climbed out of the tub, dabbed a few drops of Sandalwood oil on my naked body, then slipped into the loose-fitting pants and shirt. I reread the note, looking at the address. I knew the general location. There was a vegan restaurant nearby that we had been to a few times. It was only about a fifteen-minute walk. So, around 7:40, I left our apartment, my mind on Candice and visions of our future.

I walked there in a cloud and arrived just before 8:00. It was on the 2nd floor above a yoga studio. That made sense, I thought, as I climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. I could hear soft, Indian-style music playing inside. The door opened a few inches, and two things immediately caught my attention. First, the scent of incense emanated from inside. Second, the girl who answered the door was stunningly beautiful and was not Candice.

Candice was a slender 24 with long red hair, usually pulled back into a ponytail. The girl who stood in the doorway was in her thirties, with long, black hair that came down to her ass and Asian features.

"Namaste," she said smiling. "Are you Todd?"

"Yes, I am," I answered, "I'm looking for Candice."

She opened the door and gestured for me to enter. "Please, come inside," she said softly. She had a hint of an accent; I could not quite place. It sounded almost British, but not. "Candice is already here."

I stepped inside, and she closed the door behind me. "My name is Jasmine," she explained. "Welcome to our temple."

The only light in the room came from numerous candles of varying size. The walls were painted a dark gray with purple trim, and artwork of an "Eastern" nature decorated the walls. At the time, I wasn't sure of their origin. They could have been Indian, Chinese or even Japanese. It was a small ante-room with a couple of cushioned chairs and two doorways leading into the interior of the building. Beaded curtains hung in both doorways.

"Thank you," I replied, a little unsure of myself. I wondered why Candice had invited me here.

It was as if Jasmine had read my mind. "Candice is inside," she explained, smiling sweetly. Her eyes sparkled in the candlelight. "Please follow me." As she turned to walk away, I examined her figure. She looked to be slightly taller than five feet, slender with small perky breasts and what looked to be a tight, firm ass. She was wearing a top made of white cotton that I think is called a "peasant" top. It was like a loose tube of cloth with short sleeves that left her shoulders, upper torso and abdomen bare. It also left her abdomen uncovered. She was also wearing some satiny, semi-transparent "Genie" pants and was barefoot.

I followed her through a doorway and down a hallway, where soft yellow light flickered invitingly. We passed several darkened doorways as we walked the length of the hall. As we entered the room at the end, I immediately saw Candice and felt joy. She smiled broadly and came to me with her arms extended. She hugged me to her and kissed me softly.

"I'm so glad you're here, Todd," she said, then stepped back from me. I noticed several other people were present in the room. All of them dressed in a similar fashion that you might call "hippie chic." I scanned the room and counted three other men and four women. Everyone appeared to be between twenty and forty in age.

"Let me introduce you to my friends," Candice said as she turned to the others, still holding my hand. "You already met Jasmine."

Jasmine dipped her head to me. "Namaste," she whispered.

A thin man with brown hair and a goatee approached with a blonde-haired woman with enormous breasts. "This is Jordan and his wife, Miranda."

I went to shake Jordan's hand, but he hugged me, patting me on the back. "Namaste, Todd. Welcome. We're happy you could make it. Candice has told us all about you."

I didn't want to seem weird or unfriendly, so I gave him a perfunctory hug bag. "Thanks," I replied.

He stepped aside, and his wife moved forward to hug me. She held on much longer than Jordan had and I didn't mind it anywhere near as much. Her breasts felt soft and warm against my chest. I realized she had on no bra under the thin, linen shirt.

"Namaste," Miranda whispered to me, her mouth near my ear. "I hope you enjoy tonight as much as we enjoyed our first puja." I didn't recognize the word she used. It sounded like "pooh" and "jah." I thought maybe it meant party.

"Namaste," I said back. It felt awkward for me to say it. Candice had told me that it was a traditional greeting among yoga and tantra practitioners. It was a Hindu word that meant "I bow to the divine within you." I was still coming to grips with the concept that the inner light inside all of us was the one true source of all life and thus, was divine. My upbringing taught that God was external to us, not inside of us. Once I mumbled the greeting, I added, "Thank you. I hope so too."

Miranda kissed me quickly as she pulled away. I was surprised that it was on my lips, not on the cheek. She seemed to blush and looked down demurely as she moved back to her husband's side.

Candice then introduced me to a man named Michael who appeared to be in his early-to-mid forties. "Michael is one of my oldest friends," Candice explained. He brought me into the light when I was wandering in the darkness."

Michael stepped forward and smiled. "Namaste," he said, bowing and folding his hands in front of him as if in prayer, "welcome to my home. Candice speaks very highly of you, young man."