Pursuit of Happiness Pt. 01

"Are you mad at me?" Candice asked, looking a little worried. I don't know if she was pretending or genuinely concerned. She did not need to fear.

I pulled her down and kissed her. She sat down on the cushion, then pulled me to her. She laid back, and I rolled out of the lotus posture, legs feeling the effects, and lay between her legs. We made love slowly, and we both came one last time, at almost the same time. When we finished, I looked around the room. We were alone.

My cock had finally had enough. I think pumping it full of helium couldn't have gotten a lift out of it now. We dozed off and woke up the next morning.

We got up, got dressed and went looking for the others. Michael and Peggy had fixed breakfast. We found them in the kitchen at the table. Everyone else had gone home.

"How did you sleep?" Michael asked as he sipped on a cup of tea.

"I don't remember," I replied, "I was too busy sleeping to notice."

We talked about the night before. Michael explained much of the ceremony to me and the symbolic nature of things. What we had done was not a traditional tantra ceremony, but was based in part on tantric practices and part on ceremonial Goddess-oriented magic. He took his time explaining things, which I did my best to understand.

I was shocked we had all had sex, well all the men had sex with each of the women. I didn't expect anything like that when I had come there. I knew Candice was into a lot of sexual things, but swapping or swinging or whatever we had done was way beyond anything I'd ever considered doing.

Michael explained that Tantra teaches that nothing is taboo. Taboos come from our egos. We have to learn to destroy and overcome our restrictions to be healthy people. Sex is good for us, and nothing is forbidden, as long as it's legal.

Candice explained how sex with anyone you want is a significant part of her belief system. I was surprised at how comfortable I was with the idea. She said that jealousy and possessiveness are negative traits and are derived from our ego's selfish nature. Free love and free sex are natural, and there should never be any sense of guilt.

"You mean like the expression: if it feels good, do it?" I asked.

Everyone laughed and agreed. Peggy squeezed my arm and said, "Well, it definitely felt good. I absolutely want to do it again, soon." I blushed. I was open to anything, but it would take a little bit getting used to.

Finally, when there was a lull in the conversation, I took Candice's hand.

"I love you, Candice," I said, kissing her fingers. She raised her hand to stroke my face.

"I love you, too, Todd," she said, looking incredibly beautiful.

I dug into my pocket and pulled out a little box. I stood up, holding Candice's hand, and knelt on the floor next to her. Her face immediately drained of color. "What are you doing?"

I opened the box. Inside was a beautiful diamond engagement ring. "Candice, you saved my life in many ways. You've given me so much love and taught me how to be free. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, learning with you and exploring life together. Will you marry me?"

She was crying.

Peggy was crying.

Michael looked pensive.

"Todd," Candice began speaking, "you can't be serious."

"I am, completely serious. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I'm sorry, Todd," she said, fighting back sobs as her tears flowed down her cheeks. "I don't want to hurt you. I love you. I'll always love you."

I was stunned. How had I misread things this badly?

"But," I said, then paused for her to speak.

"But," she replied, "I can't marry you."

"Why not?" I asked, getting desperate. "I'll be a good husband for you. I can make you happy."

She kissed my hand, then shook her head, "You make me happy, Todd, blissfully happy."

Now, I had started crying too.

"Then, why not? Why can't you marry me? You love me. I make you happy. What's wrong?" I didn't want to beg, but here I was doing it.

Michael spoke up softly. "Todd, son, you don't understand."

"You're right. I don't. I'm sorry, did I need to ask you for your daughter's hand first?"

"Todd," Candice spoke up, "Michael is not my father."

"Oh, he's not?"

She shook her head. "Michael is my husband."

I must have stared at her for a couple of minutes. I couldn't think of anything to say. The tension at that moment was palpable.

Peggy spoke up. "Well, I can marry you," she said, giggling, "I'm single and looking to mingle."

I started laughing. "Damn. Did I have this all wrong." Surprisingly, I wasn't angry. I was confused. "But, we've been together for a year," I said, scratching my head. "How is that possible?"

"Together, yes," Candice said, "but I never moved in, and we never discussed being exclusive. I love you deeply, Todd. I'm..." she stopped and corrected herself, "we're polyamorous. We believe in free love and loving freely. I love you, but I love my husband Michael, too. I love everyone in our group, Todd. But, I'm only married to one man. We're not polygamists, just polyamorists. I thought you understood that."

I nodded, remembering many conversations Candice and I had over the past year. "Yeah, I guess it didn't sink in that you had other people. I mean in all this time you never mentioned them to me. I never knew they even existed."

"I wanted to tell you when you were ready to accept it. I could see the person inside of you wanting to come out. I helped him free himself. If I had told you everything before you were ready, you would have been hurt and left me. The man inside you would have stayed hidden."

"I think I understand that," I conceded.

"Are you hurt now?" she asked me. I could see she was very concerned and that she did care. I thought about her question and everything that had happened. The answer surprised me.

"Amazingly, no," I answered her, "I'm not hurt. It makes sense. I love you, but it is not the same feeling I had with Carie, my wife. I think I wanted to try to recapture what she and I had. Inside, I think I knew. It again goes back to my traditional upbringing. I was taught that when you love a woman, you get married, make babies and live happily ever after."

Peggy chimed in again. "Todd, we're all about living happily ever after. What's better than loving and being loved by one person? Loving and being loved by many. We only just met you, but Candice has told us about you so much, that we already felt connected to you. Last night was a way for us to all bond with you. We all love you."

Michael cleared his throat and gave me a sincere smile, "In a way, it's like you married all the girls last night, not just Candice. She is my wife by law, but she's yours in every other way possible. So is Peggy. So is Miranda and so is Jasmine."

"So, please," Candice said, kissing me softly on the lips, "don't take my 'no' to mean I don't love you and don't want to be with you for the rest of my life. You will always be a part of me and part of our group. We love you, Todd."

Peggy put her arms around me and kissed me, "But, if you do ever want a wife, I am available." I kissed her back, chuckling.

"Thanks, Peggy, I'll keep that in mind."

Candice stood up and put her arms around me too. Michael stood up. I think you should take these two ladies in the other room and make love to them. I'm going to head out to do some shopping and will be back later today. Take your time.

I couldn't hide the grin on my face. "I've always had a fantasy about having a mother and daughter threesome."

Peggy pulled her top off and pressed her breasts against me. Candice did the same, and I stared back and forth at four gorgeous tits.

"Well, this is one fantasy that is about to come true," Candice whispered as she sucked on my earlobe. Peggy licked around the other and whispered, "Any other fun fantasies we should know about?"

"If I think of any, you'll be the first to know."

So, we did have a hot threesome. There was a lot of hot sex to come in my future, with both Candice and Peggy, as well as the other ladies in the tantric circle. I found meaningful happiness with them, but what I realized was it was not enough. For me, tantra was about achieving ongoing happiness through amazing sexual experiences with many, many, many women.

And the pursuit of happiness is a lifelong journey.