All Comments on 'Renovator's Delight'

I liked how well they worked together

But the physical transformation was a bit creepy.

The way it ended left an uncomfortable and unresolved set of issues.

It really had potential. The ending was way to hurried and left too many unanswered questions. But for that I would've given it a 5 but only gave it 4. It would've been better if more was learned about the couple who'd owned it; what led them to live together, fall in love, etc. Then there's the unresolved issue of Karen. Disappointed that it was so rushed.

That ending was creepy as fuck. 5 stars

The “possession” by the previous owners was a bit creepy. I liked that they found pictures of them, and that’s what led them down their path, but the greasy hair and handlebar mustache was a bit too creepy.

Agree with others: greasy hair and handlebar mo a bit weird. Otherwise not too bad.

It's so rare we get anything but "slice of life + sex" around here. The loop pushes it from fantasy into mystery, almost horror. It's like an episode of the Twilight Zone with erotic incest.

There are some nitpicks one could point out, but that's almost irrelevant, seeing as your story is one of a kind. Just the concept should get you a 5.

They were looking at pictures of themselves. Reread the ending and you'll get it.

Obviously this is written by a younger woman. First, i am a baby boomer and even though it seems like we are ancient, we aren't. I am still style conscious. Greasy hair was never stylish. Handlebar mustaches haven't ever been in style either and an ape couldn't grow one in 19 days.I have a full beard and can't. She should've just said the people weren't overly attractive and left it. Now, the last mental image i have is of two people who don't care what they look like. Sex in the store was a little hard to believe and the story shouldn't have ended that way. Either leave us hanging or continue it. I think we all knew they were trying to look like them but make them attractive.

Thank you to all those who've read and taken time to comment. Just to address a few issues people have with my submission. The creepiness is intentional, there is definitely something paranormal going on in the house. I left it subtle and didn't go down the "full on ghost" route so as to leave some ambiguity. To anon baby boomer who I think got me totally wrong, (a cursory examination of my profile may answer some questions) In no way was a handlebar mustache or greasy hair meant to be attractive or stylish, they were reflecting the older couple. I guess theses explanations all point to my failings as the writer to not convey my message succinctly. I take the good reviews with the bad, thanks to JessicaS et al, I'm just trying to do something different.

Thank you

It's the experience of the home, or the spirit of it. I'm a Baby Boomer as well and recognized the effect. The 60s and 70s were about self awareness and self expression. There was social discord and social change also. Free love was also a big factor back then and that is where the home stayed. I had a teacher that had an excellent "handlebar" which he kept through my high school years. This is a good story and has a great angle on how people react to experiences brought about by environment. I especially liked the ending including the tin box that will keep the new pictures to be passed on to others. Was it the house, or was it the brother and sister that finally reacted to the deeper desire from years earlier?

RS

Both original and well-written, I really enjoyed this one. I don't expect that 'This Old House' ever had this going on. A pleasing development for brother and sister, for the wife...not so much.

This story will stand on its own but I wouldn't mind if there was a sequel. Either way, thanks for a good read.

Great story - I enjoyed every minute. Thank you.

To those who've sent personal emails, please include your email in the message so I can thank you directly. To the question of more chapters, I began writing a sequel today.

Wow. Very much wow. Not for a very long have I read anything in here so well written and composed. Superlative characterization; believable dialogue--the banter alone was priceless. A loving ghost story of sorts, yet romantic and eerie at once. Keep writing! You have a wonderful gift and you owe it to the world to share your talents.

Love your enthusiasm, but IMO if there ever was a story where no sequel was necessary, it'd be this one. That's the flipside of not doing a slice of life.

less is more...well enough alone...Matrix trilogy...etc.

I'd prefer you investing that effort into another original story, but I know how it is when you feel the itch, so good luck.

JessicaS, point taken. Just finished it and now for the proofreading, I hope I don't let anyone down.

The whole time I read this story, I pictured two spirits living in the abandon home they lived and loved in. A Brother and Sister who found total happiness in each other. Their forbidden love so strong and powerful it had to be hidden from the public. It was a love story that couldn’t be told or appreciated until long after their death. I don’t see a need for a sequel. It may destroy the magic if more were revealed.

James is one lucky bastard...a loving wife...a loving sister...and so many homes that need flipping. 5 Stars.

Now this is just a great story! Well written and very believable, too. Having a just gorgeous older sister, and being extremely close with each other, I can understand the attraction and how these two could become lovers. Keep up the good writing.

What a great story. Looking forward to reading the sequel. Isn't it amazing how an old home can bring out the naughtiness in people.

... with a paranormal twist. Awful short sex scenes, but they both got off more than once.

Great story . Looking forward. & now I am ready to read "Delighten Renovations....chapter 2.

Brother and sister, yes. Oily hair, handlebar mustache, transformation yes.

19 days...much interrupted days...for a reno - stretching the old willing suspension of disbelief too far.

That said, bring on Pt II

Wonderful story, looking forward to the follow-up.............():\

Great story with a clever paranormal twist. Spirits of the deceased brother and sister come together again for one last triste. Might been good to show a little doubt at the idea of selling the old house. 5⭐