All Comments on 'Return to Sender'

keep them coming

What an evil bitch, trying to dupe him into raising a bastard. She deserves to end up a bitter and lonely single mom.

704 words, why the fuck does Lit have rules when the admin don't use/enforce them? Do the admin even read the stories?

I thought finally we have something 'new' but then it just ended. How did he know the babies weren't his? How did he know she was cheating?

Congrats. I look forward to your second story.

But the is to short and not finished. Two Stars or the germans say inadaquate.

Finally a man with enough balls to throw the cheating bitch out! 4 stars I just wish it would have gave more details in how he caught her.

What about the baby triggered the realization that it wasn't his?

in substance

"Aaron just wanted the chance to say good-bye properly" - "Aaron wanted?" Who gives a fuck what he wants? The only "proper" good-bye, especially for an ex-boyfriend who "almost ruined your life" is "fuck off!"

which would be even worse for the wife, and better for the husband.

marriage never existed. the contract was never met. it was broken before it was made. that's basically what the annulment implies.

You might have added DNA paternity papers. If, in fact, the baby had been his (no proof otherwise) he would certainly be hit with child support. And in some states, depending on the judge, even IF the child was not his he might have child support payments — welfare of the child is paramount. But if he can show the wife is playing around within already within the “newlywed” stage (which he has evidence) AND the child is not his (which would show in paternity test) he might have a leg up on vs if he didn’t have one or the other.

Just that one quibble. 4-stars.

I suppose we are expected to infer that the baby isn’t Jarrod’s but Aaron’s. We are also expected to infer that Aaron and Lexi are still fucking. As it is, we simply haven’t been given enough information as to how Jarrod found out, how he obtained that recording, or really anything. It’s as though the ‘return to sender’ line occurred to you — were you listening to Elvis perhaps? — and you wrote the story around it?

"I'd like to return her" is a great line.

I love that "I'd like to return her". Nice story, quick and short to the point. I have no idea how he got that recording but it doesn't matter to me.

it was short and sweet.

I like short stories, but this needed a little more info. Like how he got the recording and the details about her getting knocked up by her ex-lover.

As far as I'm concerned, these ultra short so called "stories," are just the sign of lazy ass writers. There was NOTHING here. No plot, no development, nothing.

is the consenus for ending any unpleasantry. TK U MLJ LV NV

What a dumb story. Sorry that you're a pathetic, woman-hating loser. Try going gay and maybe you'll have better luck.

Great story.

Yeah, I can only repeat what others have said. “Short and sweet”.

Short to short but to the point. Cheated and got pregnant with her x lover baby. Now she can raise it or adopt it. And no alimony or child support due .depending on that states laws.

Sorry. Couldn't resist. This Flash story is lite on content. A brief description of the wedding day being the happiest day of his life, maybe? Suspicions after mysterious phone calls or text? Proof? You could point to the newborn as proof but im guessing he also had sex with her in the 10 months they were married. Your Flash story needs more content.

As a flash story, it must be short. Still, we know from Lexi's reaction, the father was Aaron. We don't know why Lexi had a one time affair or a continuing one. But the baby is Aaron's, and the marriage is over. Well done, flash story.

No long drawn out fight....just a surgical ending. Thanks!!

Wish you explained how the recording came about, or found a different way to introduce something similar that didn't create the obvious "how that came about" problem, but still nice, short and well done.

Sure, 'would have been nice to know a little more about our protagonists, how they meant, how the MC found out, etc... but, fact of the matter is, everything that really needed to be told was told here.

'Gotta said, though: some of the comments left here kinda baffles me - so, to some of you, Jarrod took the time to move Lexi out of his house and back to her parent's place, got movers to bring in all her personal stuffs later on, and even already have divorce papers ready to be sign... but somehow forgot to get Gregory DNA-tested? C'mon folks - let's be logical here. Regardless, you don't need to look any further than at his soon-to-be-ex wife's reaction to know, without a single doubt, that he's completely justified in every single one of his actions.

When it comes to BTB, I'm all about the confrontation and a believable conclusion, and I definitely got that here. Fillers are all well and good, but, in some cases, they aren't needed.

Looking forward to your next effort, author.

I think you've missed the part where Jarrod was very aware his wife may have been cheating on him almost ten months prior to him dumping her...

That's really all the 'triggering' any man needs here.

Those sobs would have really caused pain to her C-section site.

This was not a complete story it was only a

Lexi could have said:

"Hi dear, I saw Aaron today. I haven't seen him since the wedding. We went and had dinner together."

and Jarrod could have then said:

"OK, but if you decide to have sex with him, make sure he uses a condom."

Then this problem wouldn't have occurred.

Lue

Ps: As Bebop said, Ankur, I too thought it was a great first story. It was a good little quickie, well written and based on a clever idea and title.

Few words, powerful punch, and done!

Asshole man.

Where do these people get the idea that it is OK for men to treat they’re wives and women like this. Oh wait. He is really just an immature boy.

A man would sit down and find out what happened and might it happen again before jumping off the bridge. An immature boy just reacts and picks up his toys and goes home.

And if he is on the birth certificate as the father he is already on the hook.

wish there was some aftermath but was good

Short and to the point...No unnecessary details and talks...4*

This one left a lot of unused words and phrases just laying in the dust.

Everyone caught on to what he was saying. We don’t need all the details, the story works as is.

But I am sure that a good lawyer would be able to get quite a bit of money out of him.

and it did it briefly and succinctly.

No, you don't go out to have dinner with your old boyfriend a month after getting married and not telling your husband. And you sure don't have sex with him.

I predict he will be a happier man in the future.

Who says the most with the fewest words.

Hahaha, if only it was that easy. Wait till her lawyer rapes him.

Sometimes it's nice to do it this way. Either very short, leaving all details to the imagination or a detailed story. Some of the in between ones I have more trouble with, but this was in the short and sweet category. one can decide he was nuts, and she was basically a good person and a great wife. He's just a jealous little turd, and she's well rid of him. Or one could see it several other ways.

I could figure out the details on my own. It don't need more, even though it would be interesting. TY

. . . and the baby was obviously half black? That’s an old, old LW trope, but how else does Jarrod determine that the baby isn’t his? And if it’s that obvious,why were she and her parents surprised?

They’re married, so Jarrod is legally the father. He’s on the hook for 18 years of child support in every state in the union. There are some states in which he can contest that with adequate evidence, but that takes time. If Aaron disappears for some reason, Jarrod is still on the hook for child support because the state does not want a truly fatherless child and has to pay out welfare.

"As a flash story, it must be short. Still, we know from Lexi's reaction, the father was Aaron. We don't know why Lexi had a one time affair or a continuing one. But the baby is Aaron's, and the marriage is over. Well done, flash story."

There's "short," and there's skimpy. This could have been two to five times the length, still been a single Lit page, and given us SOME more info that would have made this a better story. Sometimes less works - in your new story, Mrs. Batman, you tell us all we needed to know in two sentences!

"A man would sit down and find out what happened" - WTF? First, if you're male you somehow never learned anything about being a man!

"Find out what happened?" - While I admit the story is skimpy, it's quite obvious what happened! She met up with her old boyfriend, slept with him and got pregnant! Just look at her reaction!

You have a good skeleton of a story here. Take some time, do a rewrite, and give us some of the details others have mentioned: How did he find out; how did it happen; while it's a safe assumption that he did, TELL us about the DNA test! That's pretty crucial information that we shouldn't have to guess about.

your not on the hook unless the child is 10 +. states starteed changing around 2011. Once they started passing Paternity fraud laws. Carnell Smith testify before congress, after paying a 100,000 for a child that wasnt his. Married men have till the tenth birthday, while single men have till 18.

They've been married for less than two years, and she already brought an illegitimate child in the middle of their relationship...

A barely competent lawyer, on his side, would prevent him from getting rape in court.

So don't you worry, buddy - Jarrod will be fine.

You sure set that bar mighty high.

The thing is, if all it truly take, to be label an asshole, is to refuse to stay in a marriage where your wife actually cuckolding you less than two years after tying the knots...

Well then, I guess I'm also an asshole. Fuck - most men on this planet would be assholes too.

Unsurprisingly, I can live with that.

Nope, I'm not a laywer. But damn am I good at googling.

And, since a lot of commenters - ReedRichards being the very worst culprit - kept saying the MC here will be on the hook for child support til Gregory turns 18, let's set the record straight, once and for all:

Until the court determines paternity, the child's father doesn't have any rights or responsibilities to the child, meaning no duty to pay child support or the right to enjoy custody or visitation with the child. Either parent can ask the court to establish paternity, or the court can open a paternity case on its own.

As soon as he proves the kid isn't his, Jarrod won't have to pay shit. He has no real connection to Gregory, both biologically and, more importantly, emotionally, so he can walk away, free of any responsibility toward the newborn. Let me be very clear on this front: there's no court anywhere in America that will force a man to pay child support on a baby he just recently learn he wasn't the father of. Divorce court is undoubtedly brutal towards males, but not to the point of making them take responsibility to kids they have no connection to. It would have been a very different story if Greg had the time to actually grew up around his mom's soon-to-be-ex husband, but, even then, if Jarrod learned later that he wasn't the kid's father, he could still request the court to forfeit any and all parental responsibility toward him and even sue Aaron's estate for back child support.

Bottom line: Jarrod will be quite fine. So let's move on from fallacies and get back to a semblance of reality.

Who gives a Rat's ass what happened or why? He knows that it DID happen and, from a MAN'S point of view, she filled out the death certificate to their marriage.... PERIOD. He married her as a WIFE... learned that she's a cheating WHORE and dropped her off at her point of origin. So you, sbrooks103x, and all the gutless weak links in society who think like you do can take your nambi pambi Liberal b.s. down the road.

✔️ THE STORY DIDN'T NEED TO BE LONGER. EVERYTHING THAT NEEDED SAYING AND 'SPLAININ' WAS. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ + ⭐

You wrote:

((( Absolutely ridiculous!

As far as I'm concerned, these ultra short so called "stories," are just the sign of lazy ass writers. There was NOTHING here. No plot, no development, nothing." )))

You're Absolutely Right. I suggest that you write a story and 'show' that "Lazy ass writer" SOMETHING ... possibly a PLOT... that includes DEVELOPMENT and something more.

Better yet.... just STFU. The rest of us got his point... probably because WE have imaginations.

Do you think that the problem might not have occurred if she had not had sex with Aaron at all? I know that doesn't fit your views on marriage and cheating, but wouldn't that have totally eliminated the problem? Sure, that would unfortunately eliminate Lexi's extramarital fun, but she would still be married.

With just a LITTLE more information, it would have been much better. Was the baby black or Asian? Or just darker skinned than the parents? Or did Jarrod have a DNA test run on the baby? Something more than a first date precipitated this divorce. That information, rather than implied, would have been very good.

3 stars

1. Obtaining the recording of Jarrod's wife talking to her father is your most difficult problem.

Hard to tap a cell phone these days.

Would probably have to be a voice activated recorder. Long stretch, but maybe Jarrod left his student days (or business meeting) note taking recorder laying around and active? Or being warned, he was proactive and bought several?

To get her father's voice on a VAR, Michael must have visited her for a very private conversation at a place where Jerrod could put a recorder. And luck had the conversation at Jarrod's home, or did Jarrod put a VAR in her purse?

2. It would be better if Jarrod learned about the date before it (or as it) was happening so that he had time to react. Perhaps he'd been warned about her ex before the wedding and acted on advice to watch him.

Maybe she and her ex set something up when Jerrod was out of town, and Jerrod had friends check on her.

3. The pregnancy was totally unexpected by Jarrod, and he was sure about birth control. Knowing about the ex and maybe their date, he's open to possible cheating.

Perhaps she didn't start her BC pills soon enough, or they chose diaphragm or sponge + spermicide or condoms. When she went on her date she "didn't plan" to have sex with the ex, so didn't take BC with her. Or, she was "day counting" and though herself safe.

4. He might not need a formal DNA test to tell paternity, especially if he was ready to check markers at birth.

Perhaps the hospital typed the infant's blood and Jarrod remembered his high school genetics. (She's O, He's B, child is A). Maybe it's eye color. (brown+blue can't have green, blue+green can't have brown). Or the kid has attached earlobes, the ex does, and none of Jarrod's ancestors including great grand parents do (a 99.9%, not 100% tell).

5. Probably should give Jerrod's reason to stay with her though the pregnancy knowing she cheated and it was probably her ex's child.

-----

Try writing a somewhat longer version of the story (1000 words?) which documents Jarrod's path to discovery. Imagine Jerrod writing down his case for returning her.

Then go back and put {braces} around all the revealing information (which gets cut from the final submission).

Finally, add veiled references back to the information in the braces. For example, "brown eyed baby" or "saw her blood type".

"You father should have talked to you outside."

"I was religious about birth control." "The slight chance it was my child".

"Friends warned me". "You were followed". "I could have forgiven a one-off."

"requirements for an annulment"

-----

You may end up with a slightly longer version that meets word count and doesn't leave the reader mumbling about magic wands.

I don't know why you're so down on me, I believe that I said precisely that!

["A man would sit down and find out what happened" - WTF? First, if you're male you somehow never learned anything about being a man!

"Find out what happened?" - While I admit the story is skimpy, it's quite obvious what happened! She met up with her old boyfriend, slept with him and got pregnant! Just look at her reaction!]

The first parts of those statements were quotes from Mgbdallas that I was responding to and disagreeing with!

I DID say that some more detail would have been nice, but I certainly didn't deny the facts of what happened, or tried to explain or excuse them.

Nice touch. Return her.

I had to check this out after reading the excellent Mrs. Batman.

Not a bad story, and really didn't need to be longer. Well, it needed to be one sentence longer. You should have included whatever little detail it was about the baby that made him realize it wasn't his and was, in fact, her ex's child. Something less obvious than the child being the wrong race, because it didn't occur to her parents until he pointed it out. If the child were asian or black and the father and mother weren't, people would notice right away. Maybe it was eyes, or the hair color? That detail would have helped an otherwise fine story. I don't really care how he got the recording, since it's a flash story. Of course, he could have just said he over heard them discussing it and then no one would have to question how he got a recording.

Anyway, good job overall. Thanks for the story.

Cog

For the read.

There are lots of ways to go on these stories and that makes for lots of variation on length and word count. This story was short, crisp and very well executed. Would I have liked a little more meat on the discovery details? Yes - but not 4 pages more background. I do like many of those more involved story developments but I also believe a quick read is a welcome diversion at times. A good, clear story line and just ending.

BTW to another commenter, they were actually married less than 1 YEAR so please double your ire!

Well done. 5 stars from me.

All said all done

"A man would sit down and find out what happened"

Why? He already knows what happened. His whore of a soon to be ex-wife fucked her lover and got pregnant with his bastard child. She then tried to trick her cuckolded husband into raising another man's baby.

Out of all the ways a woman can betray a man, this is the absolute lowest. Lexi isn't deserving of any sympathy or compassion and the vast majority of men would have kicked the slut to the curb. Lexi knew the husband wasn't the father, you can tell by her bursting into tears that the evil bitch knew it was Aaron's baby all along.

"What about the baby triggered the realization that it wasn't his?"

It's all there, you just need to look for the clues. The husband had a recording of his father-in-law talking to Lexi the night after she had dinner with her ex-boyfriend. That means Jarrod had suspicions that she was cheating on him back then (or the recording was accidental and that tipped him off):

"Mrs. Frizzell said she saw you having dinner with Aaron Stender last night..."

So why did Jarrod wait until now to divorce Lexi? He was clearly concerned that she was meeting her ex for dinner, but probably didn't have proof she cheated (because he would have shown that instead of playing the audio recording). Lexi then announced she was pregnant, but with the timing of conception so close to her being seen with the ex, Jarrod obviously doubted the paternity.

"Only three days since the C-section delivery"

When the baby was born, Jarrod expedited a DNA test (or had a blood test), confirmed his suspicions that Aaron was the father and not him... and dumped the whore off at her parents house. The baby's physical appearance was irrelevant. Jarrod obviously suspected Lexi had cheated on him and the paternity test confirmed it.

"only a lunatic would leave his wife over a single date with an EX-lover..."

The dinner date was 10 months ago (1 month after she got married!)... The baby was born 3 days before Jarrod dropped Lexi off at her parents, so she must have been fucking Aaron for at least a month before he knocked her up.

Her final reaction reveals that she knew all along that her husband wasn't the father of her bastard child. There's no look of horror, no furious denials... just tears... because everyone now knows what a vile, deceitful slut she really is.

Why bother submitting something that barely explains the day of week. Actually it does not even say that.

Only saving gracecwas it was a cheater getting caught story.

I liked it.

What about the baby that triggered the husband to dump the wife. Short and sweet but needed some more details to the discovery of his wife's betrayal.

THIS THIS YES YES. I don't need every single detail of a story. That just makes it boring. Most readers can fill in a blank and the author did give the clues(well aparrently they can't). I hate flash stories, but i loved this.

I don't need to know the back story. Most writers don't do anything useful with it anyway. This Flash was perfect and you did it in a great way.

If most readers actually absorbed what they read there would not be a need for powersworder to explain the clues. It was all there.

An ingenious writer. If you wish to read his work be prepared to think.

Length does not equate to quality. This story is proof.

..on so many levels. Seems he is holding the in-laws culpable for his wife's transgression. Hardly any backstory. A shoddy attempt at entertainment. An attempt at too much ease with his laurels for past successes. 1*

This would have been a good opening to a story. Unfortunately it just raises questions, it draws the audience in, and then leaves them with nothing. Its like starting a bit of gossip, like " have your heard about Jarrod and Tessa". When the answer is no, you get up and walk away. Don't really know much about your conversation skills, but if they are like your story. Return to work.

You said it all. Great skill is needed to say so much with so few words. Congrats.

This is one of the most perfect Flash Stories I have read. That's the definition of a Flash Story; short, sweet, to the point without a lot of background. Get the point? Signed: BTW

What can I say only fantastic read and write more stories please

Well done with one page only.

5

Not that it mattered, but the one clue not well defined is HOW did Jarrod get this meeting recorded & WHY would Jarrod have spied on his wife (since until this recorded meeting all was good in his new marriage)? "Michaels' eyes widened as he heard his own voice coming out of the small speaker..." one would assume this recording ~8months prior.

I did not know a DNA test could be completed in 3 days, or was the baby's blood-type/race the flag. Lexi would have known if a womb DNA test had been conducted.

But Lexi's father obviously new of Lexi's ex meeting but not of spread her legs.

Great flash story with almost all items covered - good enough. 5* Hooyah, salute!

For a story it’s just fine. In real life the excrement is just beginning to hit the fan. The courts will ruin them both. I heard a story from a guy who said that when he went through a similar experience, he ended up paying close to $70,000 when it was over and more in the emotional and psychological damage he went through. I don’t KNOW that it was the truth, but I think it was.

married less than a year, DNA test will prove kids not his. In some states he can get the marriage annulled do to fraudulent intent. Also even judges in no-fault divorces tent to think it was a set up from the beginning.

Re-read of an almost perfect flash story. Doesn't need anything else.

We done!

Exactly precise and to the point.

Nothing more needed to be said. There’s a million reasons why he has that tape. He’s being really nice to her. He’s bringing her over to her parents house so she’ll be safe and her baby from another man is safe. That’s more than most people would do.

As for dumping her off on the parents, considering her choices, there probably wasn’t anywhere else she could go. The most important thing is that she’s gone.

I hope he can get an annulment and charge her with fraud. It would really suck if he ended up paying for this thing.

Mega pissed indeed because the mongrel had once again fucked up his daughters life.

Michael decided it was about time he did something about Stender and his attitude towards women and his daughter in particular.

Michael arranged for some of his ex-military mates to visit for a while. While they were visiting Stender found himself on the wrong side of some very angry Marines. He walked into a bar where Michael and his Marine Corps buddies were reminiscing about their war. Stender bragged that he had just been told Lexi's kid was his and that Lexi had been so easy to get into bed.

Then he bragged about how big a stud he was. Jarrod's friends were not too happy at this and they responded accordingly.

Michael then walked up to Stender and said "Boy you and me outside. We need to talk you little cunt."

For the next 10 minutes Michael taught Stender one hell of a lesson. Michaels friends ensured no-one else interfered with the lesson.

Spender spent the next 6 weeks in hospital and had only partially recovered when he was released. Being the idiot he was Stender did not leave town and one night when out on the town he ran into Jarrod. Well Stender opened his mouth again and said somethign about cuckholds Well he got taught another lesson. This time he spent 3 months in hospital recovering. He left town after this and has not been heard from again. He will, however never be able to have sex with a woman ever again as he was now a eunuch.

Just another lazy author who can't finish a story..........

1 stars so why bother commenting when the author has not been back for 2 years.

Wedding was 10 months ago.

.

Dinner with Aaron was 9 months ago.

.

QED.

.

5 *****

Wow! I just read this authors other flash story, and saw this one was mentioned in the comments, so here I am. For those of you who have no imagination, let me help you with some points. How did the husband get the recording? Maybe he had his home under surveillance. Possibly dad raised the issue , when they were outside on a porch, and a security cam picked it up. Possibly someone else tipped him to the situation, so he bugged her purse, and put a recording device inside. Since it’s been 3 days after the baby’s birth, maybe he got the DNA tests back from the hospital, that he ordered. Pretty sure he did not sign off on having his name on the birth certificate. When someone writes a 8 chapter story, detailing what they had for lunch for the last 20 years, and then does not finish it, it’s disappointing. In this case, the story was written for you to use your imagination, and fill in the blanks. It was an excellent story- 5 stars!

Talk about dropping a bomb into peoples' lap.

Ignore the naysayers!

I find the author's work here to be skillful, and very satisfying.

Ankur257 is a master of the art of telling a very short story in a manner that makes the tale surprisingly "complete", because most of its "action", though being unquestionable, occurs inside the reader's brain.

If you're able, please come back to posting stories here.

5 stars!

Another straight up home run.

Dont worry about those who wet themselves over the ending. For some reason there is a core group here that cant figure out a divorce is coming. They also need to get their omega dicks hard over some dude getting his ass beaten and then bloated pages of the same divorce story.

If you return just ignore them, they are to the BTB crowd what the closeted cum guzzling babies are to the Cuck drivel.

Perfect ending.

If there was one thing I'd change it would be instead of asking for a divorce, asking for an annulment.

In some states they don't allow an annulment if you've had sex.

A lot of story in very few words—although I do agree that iI think we needed a sentence explaining how he knew: DNA? Blood type? Somebody saw her with the “ex” entering a hotel room?

The king of short stories. I hope you will write again

3 stars because you never mentioned DNA test results, just a dinner with the EX

Very good flash story; very dim commenters. But I do like annulment better than divorce because it fits the story better.

Why wait 10 months? He got the recording waaaaay back then.

And what's this annulment stuff some of the commenters are saying? It's adultery pure and simple. Easy to prove with DNA evidence. A voidable marriage, which is what you need for an annulment, is much more work to prove.

She was junk mail from the start. Dump the cheating bitch!

[01.06.23]

A nice short, sharp, shot!

11/10!!!!!