All Comments on 'Room 502'

Best Story I have read on this site in a long while. Can't wait to read your future endeavers.

At the start of your story the main character is returning from Vietnam. Then he's sending text messages two days later. Cell phones wouldn't have existed then. Other than that, the rest of the story was ok. The sex scenes were decent. I hope you continue to write and refine your work.

not sure thongs existed then either

The sex was good but the story was pretty fucking confusing! I first thought it was taking place in the 1960's until his mom told him to text her. Huh? And I kept waiting to find out what happened to his father after he hit him in the neck with all of his might. Did he vaporize?

good story but text messages did start until about the 90s, few people had car phones in the 6s and they were hardwired to the car and bulky things, not even sure if fredericks of Hollywood sold thongs back then sexy underware was usually reserved for the bedroom granny panties where the norm or commando some times hippys and free love and nudity. good story line if not historically accurate

Several editing oop's.

But I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

Myself, I got involved in sex part of your story and never thought about the time element after mother's first climax. A well conceived plot.

Your story is very inconsistent. The obvious is he is back from Vietnam and the fact is cell phones hell even beepers didn't exist yet. That was a major turn off.

The sex is great but the story around it is a bit confusing. Didn't she already give him head before the end? But she says it was the first time. Minor edits to make this great.

Fuck-up #1:

SMS person-to-person texting didn't start until 1994, the Vietnam war ended in 1975, what war was he fighting that took 19 years to catch up with the modern world?

Fuck-up #2:

Page one, his mom sucks him awake, saying she owed him that for saving her, then page two she blows him in the hotel and tells him "That's the first time I have had a cock in my mouth since you were an infant.", so was she mind-wiped, or fast asleep when she sucked him off in her bed and swallowed, or are are you just too fucking lazy to edit your shit before foisting it on the unsuspecting readership?

Key cards for hotels weren't around right after Vietnam. But good story

When were we in Vietnam? 1967 was when I did tour in the marines. Khe Sanh hill fight. Hill 861! So we had cell phones back then as well as electronic door keys? This is so much BS it should have never been published.

Couple of problems but I'm waiting for your next story. ALL writers get better with time.

thanx for a good one loved the guilt part and the constant refusal and then submission

Good story, but you have her ending saying it was the first time a cock was in her mouth since he was an infant and yet you have her blowing him the morning after he nailed his dad choking her.

Texting wasn't an option back then.

This story lacked it. It lacked the shit out of it. What year did you have in mind for this? Or did you copy a story written for the 1960's and just try to update it for the 2010's, without any awareness of what you were doing?

the story was way off on several key points. no texting in the 60's or 70's South Beach was'nt a place people went back then. Mercedes cars were not imported in that eraalso cashiers checks were not widely used.

most ignored the obvious descrepencies. Viet Nam (South Vietnam to be precise) conflict was in the early 1960's thru January 1973. Therefore, there were NO CELL PHONES at the time, thus NO such thing as TEXTING. There were NO thong panties during this period of time. Key cards for hotel door locks did NOT exist. I could go on, but hopefully you are getting the idea of why this story does not add up. It might have worked IF you had said Afghanistan instead of Viet Nam (and an ambush in the desert rather than the jungle, and large rocks and boulders instead of trees for cover).

I know, don't confuse a good stroke story with the facts surrounding the sex, but even that was not better than a three star rating. Sorry, but hit total redo on this story. As for those who gave this a favorite rating -- you should hang your heads.

It would have been nice to know their first names

Wow.

Have you lost your mind?

i almost wonder if all the timing/tech stuff was done just to mess with peoples heads. the impossibilities are common knowledge stuff. i wonder how a real technical piece might come out. yikes.

lol you guys are brutal!!!!!!!

my dad never hit my mom the whole time my brother and sister where growing up as a man and have been married twice i have never hit a women also its nice 2 hear someone else was in vietnam i myself was in nam

my utmost respect for you the vets that were in nam .

with those words i gotta say thank you for your service buuuut there was no texting or key cards in the late 60s & 70s

lol a retired vet ( ooooh great story)

Well not a bad story but I wish you would have told me about her was she fat-skinny short -tall were her breast 32A or maybe 38C?The same with him short tall or over weight why did they not have names? At the start of the Story he woke with her giving him a B.J. at end of Story she gave him another B.J. and told him that was the1st Cock she in her mouth since he was an Infant. I just couldn't see she or he in my mind. just saying.

Wow wow wow great

fresh out of vietnam? and she texted you a room number? there was no such thing i am a vet and i served in vietnam when you write please use the times and not some bullshit.... i quit reading when you said texted use time period stuff

A beautiful, touching story. A psychiatrist should know better. An attorney would not tolerate such treatment. A son would be found not guilty.