Roses, Booze, Incest, and Pigeons

Besides, not in his nature to accept total responsibility for his actions before, he wasn't about to shoulder all of the blame now. Even though he was sorry and remorseful, he wasn't about to shoulder all of the guilt for all of the bad things he's done in his life. Why should he assume all of the blame when there were others who were just as guilty, just as bad, and just as responsible too? He took a big breath and blurted out what he had to say.

* * * * *

"Fiona," he said standing tall, lifting his chin, and taking a big breath as if standing at yet another Alcohol Anonymous meeting. "I slept with your mother, Mary Rose. There, I said it. Now you know," he said.

He looked at her for her reaction and when she didn't react to his confession, he continued.

"Knowing you, with me having no secrets from you, you probably knew that already. Knowing you, you probably understood why I needed to sleep with your mother. Knowing you as well as I do, you've probably already forgiven me and moved on with your life," he said.

Someone who always had something to say about everything and everyone, he couldn't believe she had nothing to say now. Again he looked at her for her reaction and when she didn't react to his confession, he goaded her to say something.

"Right? Am I right? At least tell me if I'm right," he said waiting for her to tell him that he was right and continuing talking when she didn't.

Never referring to her mother as his mother-in-law, calling her by name as if they weren't related, he always referred to his mother-in-law by name, Mary Rose. Before continuing with his confession, he looked at his beloved wife as if waiting for her to speak. He looked at his beloved wife as if waiting for her to say something, anything at all to tell him the horrible man that he is, the terrible life he lived, and how he ruined her life and the lives of their three children. He looked at his beloved wife expecting her to be angry, really angry for sleeping with her mother. Hoping she had room in her heart to forgive him, he continued speaking when she didn't say anything.

"It happened years ago, with your first pregnancy. In the way that your dear mother took it to her grave, I was hoping to take that to my grave too. I was hoping you'd never find out but part of the process of my recovery is for me to apologize to all those people that I hurt. For sure, if Mary Rose was alive today, I'd be apologizing to her too for taking sexual advantage of her but it takes two and she sexually wanted me as much as I sexually wanted her," he said.

He fell silent while staring at his wife. Not talking to him today, when everyday she always had plenty to say, she must really be mad at him. How can he expect her to forgive him when he's done so very many unforgivable things? How would she ever forgive him when she won't even talk to him?

"With you always so very close to your mother, I suspect your mother told you that we had sex. Just as I suspect your mother came clean, I suspect you forgave your Mom by blaming all that happened between us on me," he said. "Right? Am I right?"

He looked at her while waiting for her to tell him that not only did her mother confess but also that she forgave her mother. Only, she still wasn't talking to him.

"Trust me, your Mom shouldered enough guilt about having sex with me for the both of us and more guilt and responsibility than I ever had," he said looking up at her as if her mother was there with her looking at him.

Even if she blamed him for all of it, ready to accept the responsibility for having sex with his mother-in-law and for deeply, irrevocably hurting his wife, he paced back and forth with what he needed to say. He just needed for her to forgive him.

"Blame me and not your mother because Mary Rose was a good woman, albeit a horny woman," he said under his breath. "I always wished you were as sexually promiscuous and adventurous as was your mother, one hot Mama, damn, that woman could fuck and suck. When referring to receiving a great blowjob, whoever said that a woman could suck chrome from a bumper was talking about Mary Rose," he said. "Sorry, I'm digressing and stop me if I'm saying too much," he said with a dirty laugh.

Then, suddenly he became sad. As if he was about to cry and was trying to stop himself from crying, he looked all around before focusing his stare on her and before continuing with all that he needed to say.

"Your mom was there with me while you were in labor. It took you 14 hours for you to birth Jimmy. When you finally had the baby, we went back to the house to get some sleep. It was after we both slept some and showered that it happened with one thing leading to another after having a couple of drinks to celebrate the birth of our first born and her first grandchild," he said with an unapologetic shrug.

He paced back and forth again, this time with his head down, his shoulders tight, and his hands threatening to burst through his pockets.

"Even though I accept full responsibility for what happened, it wasn't all my fault," he said raising his voice while pointing his finger at her as if she was somehow to blame for him having sex with her mother. "I'm just human, you know," he said with a shrug while giving her a look of pained anguish. "I'm a man and back then, ironic that I can no longer get it up now, I had needs," he said. "And as my wife, you weren't taking care of those needs, which is why I looked to your mother for emotional comfort and sexual satisfaction."

He stopped talking to look off as if remembering his wife's mother.

"With your mother's long, lush, red hair, her beautiful, blue eyes, and her big breasts reminding me of Maureen O'Hara, my favorite movie star back then, I've always been sexually attracted to her. When she kissed me on the lips at our wedding, I wanted to wrap my arms around her and slip her my tongue. Even then, I turned her innocent kiss into something sexual instead of something beautiful."

He remained quiet while looking at her and while waiting for her to respond. He continued talking when she remained silent. In the way that she remained silent, he figured she was mad at him. With her not communicating to him and with her being so unresponsive, unable to tell what she was thinking and/or even her mood, he had no way of knowing. She always got quiet when she was pissed. For sure, if she wasn't mad at him she'd be yakking at him and telling him how angry she was and how disappointed she was in him for having sex with her mother.

"Like you and with you growing more beautiful as you grew older, with both of you definite MILFs, your mother never looked her age. Whenever she stayed overnight to help you during your last two weeks of your pregnancy and two more weeks after the baby was born, as if sexually teasing me, Mary Rose always paraded around me in her short, sheer nighties she wears with nothing underneath," he said.

He stopped talking to stare off as if remembering Mary Rose walking around him in her short, sheer nightie with nothing underneath.

"With us not having sex and with me always drinking, I was so horny," he said as if blaming his wife for him having sex with her mother. "With Mary Rose showing me everything she owned, it was obvious that she sexually wanted me as much as I sexually wanted her," he said as if pointing the finger of blame on Mary Rose instead of on him.

Seemingly he felt that with him not all to blame, there was plenty of blame to go around. He fell silent as if remembering his sexy and pretty Mother-in-law parading around him in her skimpy, sheer nightgown.

"Hard for me to resist your mother with you being pregnant and not able to have sex, I was horny. With Mary Rose looking so very much like you, albeit an older version of you, I had needs. I had sexual needs. Stop me if you'd rather not hear all the dirty details of me having sex with your mother," he said pausing before continuing.

He waited in silence for her to voice her disgust, her displeasure, her disappointment, and for her to tell him that she didn't want to hear the dirty details. Yet, for some strange reason, she wasn't talking today. When she didn't say one way or the other whether she wanted to hear the sexual details or not, figuring that she not only needed to know but also wanted to know the sexy tidbits, he continued speaking.

"I remember I had just made coffee and she was standing at the kitchen sink in the way you always did. In the way that the light from the kitchen window lit her up as if she was an angel sent there to take care of me, she looked so beautiful. With me always coming up behind you to feel your ass and feel your tits to let you know that I was horny and wanted sex, I suddenly missed doing that," he said. "Well, once I saw your mother standing there like that and in the same way that I used to do with you, I did the same thing with your mother. Not even trying to stop it, with my horniness overwhelming me by the sexy sight of the backside of your mother in her sheer nightie, it just happened."

He looked past his wife as if he was remembering his mother-in-law again.

"From where I was sitting at the kitchen table while waiting for the coffee to brew, in the way that the kitchen light passed through her nightgown, I suspected that she was naked underneath it. Then, with her leaning a little bit forward to wash the dishes and with me bending lower to peer up her nightgown, um, I mean, to tie my shoe, her ass cheeks were exposed. Your mother wasn't wearing any panties. In the way that you always wore panties to bed, I couldn't believe your mother wasn't wearing panties."

As if he was getting sexually aroused by talking about Mary Rose, he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"It was then when I saw the evidence of her red pussy that I knew for sure that she was naked beneath her nightgown. With her parading around me so immodestly immoral and as if she was tempting me by teasing me, it wasn't all my fault. With me always wanting her sexually before, it was then that I knew that I had to have her sexually now. Back then, it didn't take much for me to be ready for sex. Back then, before excessive alcohol took its toll on the stiffness of my cock, I was just as horny as I was hard," he said.

Expecting her to tell him to stop talking about her mother, when she didn't, he continued.

"Oh my God, seeing her ass cheeks made me so horny. With me already so horny and with me already having an erection and with your mother flashing me her naked ass and part of her pussy, I couldn't control myself," he said.

As if he was horny again for Mary Rose now, he looked at his wife with his face flushed with sexual excitement.

"I was wearing my tee shirt and pajama bottoms with no underwear. I had a raging erection after she gave a couple of down nightgown views of her cleavage and up nightgowns peeks of her naked pussy and ass," he said pausing as if remembering all that happened.

Waiting for Fiona to say something, he remained silent as if remembering Mary Rose.

"After lusting over your mother for years and with the two of us now alone, this was my chance. Thinking that I may never have another chance like this again, I needed to know if she wanted me as much as I wanted her and if she did, I had to have her."

Afraid to tell her the rest, he fell silent for a few seconds that seemed much longer. Embarrassed now when he should have been embarrassed forty years ago, hoping she'd stop him, he really didn't want to tell her all of the intimate, sexual details. With her in the hospital waiting to come home with their first child, he was in bed with her mother having sex. He felt like such a cad for taking advantage of his wife, her mother, and of the situation. Instead of turning the birth of his first child into a celebration and something so beautiful, he turned it into a sexual nightmare and something so ugly.

"Unable to help myself, I came up behind her and planted my hard cock against her ass crack through my pajamas and through her nightie. Rubbing myself against her, had Mary Rose pushed me away or moved away, I would have stopped right then but she didn't," he said as if him having sex with Mary Rose was her mother's fault. "Then, when she wiggled her round, shapely, firm ass and pushed her backside against my cock, I knew she was enjoying the sexual attention. I knew she sexually wanted me as much as I sexually wanted her," he said.

He looked at his wife waiting for her reaction to his confession. With his confession too late and now falling on deaf ears, no doubt, she heard all of this before from her mother. Still, instead of stopping, he persevered. He needed to tell her everything so that she'd forgive him.

"I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck before kissing her ear. When she swooned, I knew I had her," he said. "I reached up my hands and cupped her big breasts through her nightgown while fingering her big nipples. Sticking my horny hand inside of her nightie, I felt and fondled her naked breasts while fingering her nipples," he said.

As if ready to pay his wife a compliment, he looked at Fiona.

"Your Mom has big nipples like you. Her big breasts felt just like your big breasts, just not as firm. Still, I loved feeling and fondling your mother's big tits while fingering her erect nipples. She was just as hot for me as I was for her," he said.

Obviously aroused by his confession of having sex with his mother-in-law, as if thinking what to say next, he started pacing again before stopping in front of her.

"Stop me if you don't want to hear anymore and I'll shut the Hell up but this is something that I need to tell you. This is something that's been nagging at me for forty years. This is something that I need your forgiveness," he said.

He waited for her to say something, anything, and when she didn't protest and didn't even respond, he continued with his confession.

"I, um, lifted the back of her nightgown to her waist and felt her ass. Then, sliding one hand between her legs, I fingered her pussy while I continued fingering her nipples with my other hand. Just as I was already hard, she was already wet. Not about to force myself on your mother, had she stopped me, I would have stopped too," he said looking to his wife while waiting for her to stop him.

When Fiona didn't stop him from telling her all the disgusting details of having sex with her mother, he continued.

"I leaned her forward, pushed her over the sink, and eased my cock inside of her. Sliding inside of her deeper, I humped while fondling her big tits and fingering her erect nipples. As soon as she had an orgasm from me fucking her and playing with her nipples, with her no longer able to get pregnant, I shot my load inside of her. She was dripping with my cum and seemed so happy and sexually satisfied that we had sexual intercourse."

Expecting his wife to say something, expecting her to voice her anger, and expecting her to ask him to leave, he was surprised that she had nothing to say. Her silence baffled him. Yet, with her not interrupting his sexual confession, her silence encouraged him to continue to tell her more details.

"As if breaking the ice, after that first time we had sex, we had sex every day, sometimes twice a day. Sometimes, three times a day, when she'd give me a blowjob before I left for work. Unlike you, instead of only allowing me to cum on her tits on in your pussy whenever you wanted a baby, she allowed me to cum in her mouth and she swallowed too," he said with an accusatory tone.

He looked at her as if she's the one who should feel guilty for not allowing him to cum in her mouth. He looked at her as if she's the one who should apologize to him for driving him to have sex with her mother when she wasn't having sex with him.

"Sometimes she'd be waiting for me at the door when I came home from work and would blow me before I could even remove my jacket," he said. "Just as I was hot and horny for her, she was hot and horny for me."

More than accusing her that having sex with her mother was as much her fault as it was his fault, he remained silent while thinking of what to say next. For sure, he confessed that having sex with her mother was better than having sex with her. Still baffled by her silence, he couldn't believe she hasn't interrupted and/or stopped him from telling her more about him having sex with her mother.

"With your mother there sucking me and fucking me whenever I wanted, I didn't go to the bar once in the entire month your mother was there. Maybe if you had given me more sex, I wouldn't feel the need to go to the bar and spend my time drinking with my drinking buddies. Maybe if you had been as much of a salacious whore as your mother was, I would have become more of a lover than a drunk," he said pointing the finger of blame at her again.

He remained silent while waiting for her response but when none was given, he continued.

"While you were sleeping in bed or in the hospital with little Jimmy, who at 6'5" is now big Jimmy, I was doing your mother and your mother was doing me," he said. "I unloaded more cum in Mary Rose's mouth in the four weeks that she stayed with us than I did on your tits in all of the years I was with you," he said with anger.

He looked as if he was pondering something that he never pondered before.

"With me only 5'9" and you only 5'4" tall, where Jimmy got his height from, I have no idea. Now that I think about it, with me having brown hair and you having red hair, why our children are all blonde is another mystery to me. Maybe they're throwbacks to our grandparents or great grandparents but I don't remember anyone in my family being tall and blonde," he said removing his baseball cap to scratch his head.

He looked at her baffled.

"Don't get me wrong, Joan and Maureen are beautiful blonde women and at 5'10" tall, both my daughters are taller than me. It's just that no one in my family had blonde hair and were as tall," he said with a shrug. "Just as it's always been a mystery to me why my children are all so tall, it's always been a mystery to me why they're all blonde."

He stopped talking while wondering if his wife had been cheating on him and if his kids weren't his children but someone else's. Nah, Fiona was a one man woman. A virgin when he married her, she was a good Catholic, parochial school girl. She'd never cheat on him in the way that he cheated on her. As if thinking what he was going to say next, he fell silent again.

"I'm sorry. Truly I am. Was it worth having sex with your mother? Was it worth me cheating on you with your own, dear, sweet mother, God rest her soul," he said removing his hat before replacing it on his head.

He paused as if thinking whether it was worth having sex with his mother-in-law.

"It was definitely worth it at the time to have sex with your mother, Mary Rose. With her so hungry for my cock, she was such a hot lover. I never had any regrets about having sex with your mother until now," said John. "With her begging for it night and day, in her day, she was a wild, sexy woman. After your father died, with her almost too much woman for me, I don't know why a woman like that didn't have a man in her life."

Something that he'd no doubt never understand or forgive if the shoe was on the other foot and if she had sex with his father, he looked at her as if trying to make her understand why he had sex with her mother. Only, how could he possibly make her understand why he had sex with her mother when he didn't understand why he had to have sex with her mother? Other than the physical, sexual attraction that he had to his mother-in-law, he didn't know why he was so intent on having sex with her.

He looked at his wife while wishing she was as sexual as her mother. As it turns out, her mother was one of the best sexual partners he's ever had. If he had known what a wonderful lover Mary Rose was before he married Fiona, he would have married mother instead of daughter. Only, back then, with Fiona's father still alive, Mary Rose was seemingly happily married and no doubt sexually satisfied.