Roses, Booze, Incest, and Pigeons

"A perversely perverted thing to do, I know, but I wanted her to see my erection. I wanted her to watch me cum. The next day, when you weren't home, always when you weren't home, and when she knew I was home alone, she did the same thing too," he said.

He paused to see if Fiona had any reaction to exposing his erection to her best friend while masturbating himself but just as she had no reaction to all that he said before, she had no reaction to all that he said now. Now, just wanting to get through his confession so that she'd hopefully forgive him for his sexual transgressions, he continued.

"This time, after she flashed me her naked body, she masturbated herself too with her blinds up and her bedroom light on while staring over at me masturbating myself. Then, after that, whenever you'd go out with your mother and/or sister or go over their houses, we'd masturbate ourselves together, a couple of times a week while we watched one another masturbate. With the timing right and the opportunity presenting itself, we didn't have sex until you were in the hospital having our third child," he said.

Pacing back and forth in front of her, he stopped to stare at her while waiting for her reaction to all that he confessed. With her not saying anything, thinking that perhaps she had forgiven him already, he was ready to ask for her forgiveness.

"I'm sorry Fiona. Really, I am. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?"

* * * * *

John watched a pickup truck pull up in the distance. A tall man with blonde hair emerged from the truck. He recognized the man getting out of the truck as Jim, his best friend from years ago. He hasn't seen him in years, not since he abandoned Fiona and his kids for the bottle.

Fancy that, such an odd coincidence, Jim was carrying yellow roses too. Only, instead of just carrying one, yellow rose, he had a whole dozen, an entire bouquet. John wondered where Jim found yellow roses. Maybe he was seeing someone at the cemetery too. Only, as Jim neared and continued walking closer, John was more than a little uncomfortable that Jim was there when he wanted to be alone with his wife. With Fiona not talking, she still hadn't forgiven him yet.

"Hi John," said Jim offering him his hand. "It's been a long time."

John looked at Jim while watching him place his flowers by Fiona's tombstone.

"What are you doing here?"

Jim looked from the flowers that he leaned by Fiona's headstone to look down at John. He smiled uncomfortably at him before standing tall, as tall as his son Jimmy stood.

"Being that you were never around for her, I should ask you the same question," said Jim. "Being that it's Valentine's Day, the day of love, I thought I'd pay my respects to Fiona."

As if ready to do battle, with both of them falling silent, the two men looked at one another without saying anything until John broke their silence.

"That's nice of you but, I don't understand," said John. "What does love have to do with you visiting my deceased wife on Valentine's Day?"

Jim looked at him in the same way that John looked at Fiona before blurting out his confession.

"There's been something I've been wanting to tell you but after you disappeared for years, I never had the chance," said Jim.

John shot him a look of anger but Jim stood his ground and looked at him defiantly.

"What's that?"

Unlike in the way that John suspected Fiona already knew all that he told his wife, he had no idea what Jim wanted to tell him.

"With you always working, seldom home, and drunk when you were home, I've been there for Fiona when you weren't. After my Mary Kate died in that horrible car accident, Fiona was always there for me. For the past forty-five-years, I've always been in love with your wife and she's been in love with me," said Jim.

Jim looked at John looking to see his reaction to the information that his beloved wife had been sexually intimate with their neighbor.

"Is that so?"

John gave him an icy stare. No doubt, if he had a gun, he'd shoot his old friend dead. No doubt, had Fiona not already been dead, he'd shoot her dead too.

"With you never sober long enough to have an erection unless you were having sex with your mother-in-law, your sister-in-law, or your wife's best friend, your three children are all mine," he said.

John looked at Jim startled that he knew his secret of bedding his mother-in-law, his sister-in-law, and his wife's best friend.

"Are you saying that Fiona knew that I had sex with her mother, her sister, and her best friend?"

Jim nodded at his old friend.

"Women can't keep a secret," said Jim with a shrug. "After a while, they all told her what you didn't tell her and what you should have told her years ago. Your wife was a good woman," said Jim. "Had she not been raised Catholic and believed divorce was a mortal sin, she would have divorced your drunken ass and married me."

Wishing he had a drink right now but glad that he didn't, John felt the anger welling up in him.

"I guess she didn't feel the same way about infidelity," said John. "Otherwise she would have kept her legs closed when around you. From what I see, you and my holier than thou wife broke two of the Ten Commandments, Commandment #6, Thou shall not commit adultery, Commandment #9, Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife," said John.

Jim gave his old friend a sardonic little grin.

"Kettle black," said Jim. "Only that goes triple for you. I guess we'll see one another in Hell but not Fiona. She's destined to go straight to Heaven," she Jim looking up to the sky as if he could see her suspended there in a cloud before he returned his focus to Fiona's tombstone.

As if waiting for John to take a punch at him, the two men remained silent while staring at Fiona's tombstone.

"You're right about that. Fiona was a good woman, the best. Definitely, she's in Heaven. And you're right that I should have told Fiona about my cheating ways. I should have come clean with Fiona long ago," said John.

John studied his old friend while thinking about taking him in his trust in the way he always did so very long ago.

"Only, a big part of me cheating is that Fiona seldom gave me sex. I'm embarrassed to confess that she never gave me oral sex to completion and on the rare occasion that she did, she never allowed me to cum in her mouth, not once, not ever. She only allowed me to cum on her tits," said John.

Not knowing why he was now telling his old friend all of that, he felt that he had to share his hurt and rejection with someone. Being that Jim was intimate with his wife and knew all that went on behind his closed bedroom doors, why not share his sexual secrets with him? Moreover, with Fiona dead, what did it matter now?

"Really? Seriously? Are you kidding me?" Jim seemed happy instead of surprised. "Fiona never allowed you to cum in her mouth?"

Jim looked at John with disbelief.

"Not once. Never," said John. "I guess she was too saintly for oral sex."

Instead of giving him his compassion, Jim gave John a big smile.

"Wow," said Jim. "How about that?"

John gave his old friend a questioning look.

"You seem happy to know that Fiona didn't blow me," said John now suspecting that she blew Jim.

Jim looked at his friend with a slick smile.

"That's odd because Fiona was always blowing me. She couldn't get enough of sucking my big cock. I can't even count how many times she not only allowed me to cum in her mouth but how many times she swallowed. While you were drinking barrels of beer, I must have unloaded a barrel full of cum in your wife's mouth over the years," said Jim.

Suddenly rage erased the guilty conscience that John should have felt but never did have when he was having sex with Fiona's mother, her sister, and her best friend. Now instead of feeling guilt, he felt anger that Fiona sucked Jim's cock and allowed him to cum in her mouth when she never allowed him to cum in her mouth.

"I wasn't positive at the time but with your children looking so very much like me, suspecting that they were all mine, I had the DNA testing done years ago," said Jim. "My DNA was a positive match and I raised them as my own after you abandoned them and disappeared for years in a drunken stupor in some flophouse somewhere. I have no idea how you still managed to keep your job and go to work every day," said Jim. "At least you did the right thing by giving them money and continuing to support them. I'll give you credit for that."

John looked up at Jim. A big man, as tall as his 6'5" son, Jim," it was then that John saw the resemblance of his children in Jim. Leaving naming the children to his wife, it was then that he realized that Fiona had named her son after Jim instead of after him. Why not, with Jim the father, why should she have named her son after him?

Something else he should have noticed years before, he didn't see until now. He was too drunk to see anything but to look for his next drink. No doubt, a good part of the reason for him drinking is he knew, deep down, that Fiona didn't love him and never loved him in the way that she obviously loved Jim.

"There's not much else to say other than thank you for stepping in for me," said John. "But the bottom line is whatever extramarital thing you had with my wife or think you had with Fiona, she didn't love you," boasted John to his friend if only to save face. "She never loved you. Until the day she died, she always loved me," he said.

Jim gave his old friend a sad look.

"Yeah, okay John. If you say that enough times to yourself, even you'll believe it," said Jim with a laugh.

How drunk could he have been not to notice Fiona carrying on with his best friend for years? Now instead of wanting his wife's forgiveness, John became enraged. He was hurt that Fiona wanted his best friend instead of him. He felt rejected that Fiona refused to give him the sex that he needed to stop drinking.

"Even though she can no longer speak for herself, other than in my head, she gives me subtle signs," said John pointing his finger at Jim. "I know she loved me. I know she still loves me. I know, even in death, she'll always love me and she'll never love you and will never love you in the way she'll always love me," said John walking away from his ex-friend.

With it raining for the past two days, it had been cloudy and threatening to rain all day again today when, suddenly, the sun parted the overcast sky and there was a big, bright beautiful rainbow behind Jim. A sunbeam shone down upon Jim's blonde head. When John stopped to look at Jim, his old friend looked as if he was wearing a halo. The rainbow position behind him illuminated his back to make him appear as if he had wings. As if he was an Angel personally chosen by God or by Fiona, being that he was still standing by her tombstone, Jim looked so blessed. He looked do holy. He looked so religious.

In watching his best friend standing there before his wife's tombstone, he suddenly felt so sad. Including the love of Fiona and the births of his children as their father, he had given up an awful lot for booze. Watching him from a distance, John stood there to watch Jim talking to Fiona. With Jim smiling and nodding his head as if Fiona was talking to him in the way she used to always talk to him, in the way that Fiona didn't answer him, he wondered if she had saved all of her words for Jim. With Jim talking and talking to her, he appeared to be having the conversation with his wife that he wanted to have but didn't have. Envious of his connection with Fiona, it was then that he was sad with everything that had transpired over the past fifty years.

As John walked back to his car, he felt bad that his beloved Fiona had abandoned him in the way that he had cheated on and abandoned her. He felt sad that she was intimate with another man, his best friend, Jim, of all men, when he thought that he was the one and only man in her life. He felt bad that the children he thought were his, were Jim's children. For the first time since he's known Fiona, always sensing it before, he now knew that she didn't love him. It was obvious that she loved Jim instead. Only, with her being Catholic and not believing in divorce, his dear, departed wife stayed with his drunken ass when she should have divorced him.

Perhaps had she divorced him, he would have taken up with her mother, her sister, or her best friend. Perhaps had he taken up with any of those three women, he wouldn't feel the need to drink and to get drunk. Perhaps, he would have been a better man without Fiona in his life. Still blaming everything on her, John still didn't accept the responsibility for his drinking and for his deplorable, sexual behavior.

Before getting in his car, now feeling so sad, so deceived, and so very rejected, he turned again to look at Jim. Resplendent with a halo and wings, Jim looked as if he was basking in a ray of sunshine that lit him up as if he was a religious apparition. Indeed, he looked as if he was a holy ghost. In the way he does whenever talking to Fiona, John looked up to the sky to see if his wife was there looking down at him just as a bird, a pigeon, shit on his head.

THE END

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