Sera Ch. 06

I shook my head in reply, finally coming up with, "I'm sorry. About what happened to your family because of her."

"It's not your fault, sweetie pie," she said, putting her hand on my thigh and rubbing it reassuringly. "And you know what else? It wasn't solely Sheila's fault, either. My mother definitely had her hand in what all happened and, if it wasn't for her, Sheila may never have done what she did. Mum was driving everyone in that house crazy and, in a way, Sheila is just another one of her hapless victims. Just a damned stupid and destructive one, is all."

"Sometimes..."

"Yes?" she asked, looking closer at me and taking my hand.

"People back home remember her. People she used to run with back in the day, I mean. People whose lives she screwed up. They would see me and see her, especially when I dyed my hair blonde. When I say that, I mean it in the way that they'd make assumptions about me and stuff. I knew I looked just like her and I knew I was at least as horny and, given all the things I've been told about the things she'd done while she was in town... I got so used to being treated as her by other people, and when I look at some of the things I've done, it's easy to feel like her. Like I am her."

"Well, you're not her. You're Kathleen Hale, and you're better."

"Sometimes I have to wonder."

"Once you start ruining the lives of those around you for the sake of it, then you might want to start wondering about that. Till then, you're Kathleen Hale and you're better than her."

I smiled, finding sense in what she said, but that churning ball of alarm still roiled just below my sternum as I wondered what she'd say if she knew about Daddy and I.

"C'mon," she smiled back. "It's getting late; let's go back to my place... get our mind off things."