Sera Ch. 19

By this time, my thoughts were mainly centered on Gina. On the one hand, I was bothered with her around, with always having to account to her for my whereabouts and actions. On the other hand, since I'd adjusted her mindset to be more realistic for who and what I was, that wasn't such an issue and she was a lot more fun to be with.

The real question was in what I was going to do. Where was I going to end up? A life there at the estate was looking more and more attractive, Stevie's presence making it look like an eventuality whether I wanted to face up to that or not, but what about Gina, Daddy and Peggy?

I sighed heavily, dropping ice into my potent mix of vodka and lemonade before walking out to the balcony. I didn't sit, rather stood at the railing, looking at the lights of the other estates and remembering once again the events at the hotel. I grinned, thinking of how I normally would never have allowed something like that, thinking again of how freaked out I'd be if I ever sobered up. Jeez, it was all so crazy.

I had to find myself and my place in life, my new and real life, and the only thing I knew for sure at that moment was that two weeks at the estate wouldn't be enough time to do that. My life in Langley was a lump of clay, waiting for me and my hands to mould it to whatever way it would suit me once I had the time. I'd miss Daddy terribly in the meantime but this, I felt, was the correct path, the only thing left to deal with on that being Gina. Of course, back to Gina.

But she was just one of the three real issues at hand. Another was Stevie, and it was time I got over my guilt, time to make our relationship real by stepping over that personal line and fucking him. The news that he and his mummy had done filthy and wrong things with one another was a great load off my mind, considering my relationship with Daddy, and my confessions to Auntie Kathleen about he and I helped me to relax a little more. As I'd noted while floating in the pool, I really had nothing to hide at the estate.

Sheila was yet another matter, and I had no idea how that situation was going to progress. I thought of another meeting with her, about how I'd behave and what I'd say on my next opportunity. I wondered if I should set something up, or seek her out. Maybe go to her door? Should I, on the other hand, just wait until a time naturally presented itself, or orchestrate one to make it seem that way?

I found wry humour in this line of thought as I watched a pair of quiet headlights flash through the trees on their way down the country lane to the gatehouse. The source of this humour was in how I used to wonder about her, how I'd imagine myself sitting down to speak with her about things. In these fantasies, we always sat across from one another at some table, my questions always posed calmly, her answers always honest and just as calm but, in reality, the one conversation we'd had went far differently.

But, there was always something about her, not just in the pictures, but even in the stories of her exploits that demanded that type of curiosity, not only of her, but of myself. While reviling her like everyone else whose lives had been infected by her, I also felt I could find myself in her. One thing that my fantasies about an interview with Sheila did get right was that, even after twenty years, she still looked the same as she did in the pictures. It was almost like I expected it.

Sighing, I turned and moved back into my apartment, spotting Mr. Sparkles in the middle of the living room floor. I smiled, picked up my purring little bundle of fur and held him to my chest with one hand as I carried my drink to the couch with the other. I put him down, then sat beside him for some TV. It helped to get my mind off stuff, watching my DIY shows and fantasizing about sex with Mike Holmes again.

After a time though, my thoughts inevitably returned to Gina. I'd find myself staring across the room at nothing in particular, pondering what part she could best play in my life if I had her stay. Soon, I started to get horny and I figured it was time to see what more exciting trouble I could find for her.

I'd assumed she was in her apartment and hadn't gone looking for her up until then because I wanted some time alone with my mood to think, but I wasn't very surprised to find that she wasn't there. I wondered where she'd be, smiling at what kind of trouble my beautiful Gina could be getting herself into with the mindset I'd left her in.

I didn't bother looking, instead went back to my own apartment where I turned on the TV for some news. My eyes kept watch over the ever changing, televised images that lit the otherwise darkened room while my mind worked on other things, among them, what I wanted to do next with Gina. I'd already satisfied that old fantasy of watching her getting gangbanged by five men, all of them doing what I told them, (meanwhile, I'd left her in her own mind, but co-operative) and now I had to come up with something different. Something filthier and even better.

Steven

It worked. From the edge of the coffee table, I peered into Gina's beautiful, green eyes and retrieved the woman I remembered meeting, if still a little drunk. They stayed trained on mine like they should while I finished up with her and I was relieved to see no outward signs of permanent damage at that point.

"Now, Gina..."

"Yes?" she dull wittedly asked.

"Do you see how you do whatever I tell you when we look each other in the eyes?"

" ... Yes."

"If you search your memory, you'll find that's been happening with all of us Burchells, and especially Kitten," I told her, adding, "You don't remember what things we've made you do, but you know we've all done it to you. Don't you?"

"Steven," my mother began in a cautionary tone from behind me, "That's not-"

"Don't you, Gina?" I asked, interrupting Mum with a stop gesture from my hand to the rear.

"Yes... you have been... all of you have been..."

"It's not a very good thing, is it, Gina?"

" ... No..." She replied, quickly becoming frightened.

"Lemme tell you something, Gina. You don't want to remember all the things we've had you do. Do you remember our conversation about swimming with sharks?"

"Y-yes."

"Remember how we talked about inconvenient truths?"

"Your Pastor friend," she clarified in a slightly high, obviously disturbed tone.

"Yes, my Pastor friend. You see what I was talking about now, don't you?"

"Yeees?"

"This is not a good place for you, Gina."

"No," she agreed, shaking her head and moving back in her chair in a less than subtle attempt to distance herself from me.

"But, the Pastor will be alright, and so will you be."

"Yes..." she replied doubtfully, her eyes now regrettably wide and frightened.

"Gina... you will be alright."

"I will be alright," she backed up, her fear leveling off.

"But you need to leave here for your own good."

"I need to leave here for my own good."

"You will never return here."

"I will never return here," she agreed, actually more convincing than I was.

"Kitten loves you, and it's okay for you to love her, but you have to let her go now."

Regrettably, her eyes filled and released a stream of tears down each of her cheeks, but she nodded, saying, "Yes. She's done things to me... I don't know what, but I know..."

"Gina, you'll never tell anyone about your time here. You'll never divulge any information about us to your family, friends, or anyone else you know. I know you still love Kitten and that you'd never do anything to purposefully hurt her, but she would be very... displeased... should she ever find out you've betrayed her."

"Oh my god... I'll never say anything to anybody, I swear. Please tell her? I'll be alright and I'll never tell anybody anything I ever saw here, please just leave me alone?"

She was becoming more agitated and, behind me, Mum cleared her throat in such a way as I could feel her great concern over what I was doing, but she didn't stop me.

"We'll tell her, and she'll believe us because she knows how much you love her."

"Yes, yes," the poor thing frightfully agreed.

"You'd never want anything to happen to her."

"No," she sobbed a little as more tears shed from her eyes, "I love her so much, I only wanted to be with her. I'd never hurt her!"

"And, since hurting us would lead to that, you'd never want to hurt Ashleigh, Sheila, Mum or me either. Would you?"

"Never," she stated, shaking her head.

"When you go, don't say goodbye to Kitten. Just grab your things and leave. Tell nobody, especially not Kitten and Ashleigh."

"I- I'm gonna just grab my things and leave."

"And, Gina?"

"Yes?"

"If you do see Kitten before you leave... don't look into her eyes, or you'll never escape this place."

"Oh, Heavenly Father, pl- please help me..."

For safe keeping, I left her open, telling her to go into Sheila's bedroom and get some sleep so she'd be sober and in her right mind when she left. I took the chair she'd vacated while Sheila tucked her in, avoiding Mum's incredulous expression while again wishing I had a stiff drink. My hands were actually shaking and I could understand her expression, but I had my reasons for what I'd done. I was surprised that she'd wait until Sheila returned before getting into it with me, but I suppose she was second guessing her natural reactions since our new understanding.

"Sheila, get us drinks?" she told more than asked when her sister approached after quietly closing her bedroom door.

Sheila, without an ounce of resentfulness, went to see to this immediately while Mum, still staring hard at me, finally addressed her concerns.

"Son, if she wasn't still here, I'd be very alarmed right now. In fact, I'd probably be on the highway, chasing her down to undo what you've done here before it can bring the whole flippin' family down. If she weren't still here, and this wasn't still so easily reversible, I'd be tripping right now!"

"Mum, she's not going to tell anyone; she's got religion."

" ... I hope that's not some sick play on words. Gina is a nice person and, yes, I accidently took advantage, but I wanted her out of here before she could get really hurt, or become a liability to us. I don't care if she's instructed not to tell, I wouldn't care if you told her to take a vow of silence, letting her go with the knowledge you're letting her go with is unacceptable. Not just in principal, but because you're taking it upon yourself to make that decision for all of us and that's wrong!"

She had a point, I had to admit.

"Uh, Kathy has a point, you have to admit."

Rolling my eyes, I knew as well as Mum did that Sheila was sincere and didn't just say it to gain favour with her dominant sister. I took the drink she handed out anyway, as Mum did, neither one of us thanking her for our own reasons, but Sheila again took no offense at this. Instead, she carefully sat on the couch with Mum, a half fretful eye in her direction while she hesitantly took her turn to address me.

"I mean, I may not have this Jedi spell, but it seems to me that all you had to do was tell her... uhh..."

I looked at her expectantly, catching myself raising a brow like she, my mother and Ashleigh often did as I waited to hear what I should have done.

"You could have told her," Mum volunteered, "that she had to go back home to her newborn and that Kitten had to stay here to get to know her family better. You could have told her that and made her believe it. She might even have convinced Kitten herself."

Still with that brow raised in expectation, I shifted my eyes to the taller, more voluptuous blonde and asked, "Really?"

"Yes, 'really'," Mum shot back, becoming quite irritated now, new understanding or no.

"And how long will that keep her off us?" How long would it be before she wants to visit, believing there's nothing wrong here at Ashleigh World besides a slightly eccentric family? Even worse, how long will it be before Kitten decides to go back home to make a royal mess back there? If you're avoiding the facts, allow me to get them right in your face, Mum. Yes, Gina is a nice person and, out of all of us, Kitten is the one she has the most to fear from. She's the one we're really getting Gina away from because, despite what we did, she's the one who's really been using her, the one who's really been fucking her head up."

"Language!"

"My point is that Kitten obviously thinks nothing of how she treats Gina, no matter their history or how they may feel about each other, and just getting Gina away from here and from Kitten is not enough. We have to insulate Gina and those back in Langley from Kitten, not just so Kitten can never darken their doorway, not just for their own good, but for Kittens and our own good as well. ... I love her, but... she's a loose cannon and I think it's time both you and Ashleigh took a closer look at what's happening in that corner of the family."

They were both silent, Mum still staring at me as though processing my words until Sheila asked, "But how is it that Gina has to go away knowing about... what we are?" I mean, I understand what you're saying, but your mother's right; that's an unacceptable and unwise way of accomplishing things, considering that she'll believe anything you tell her."

"Yes it is," I agreed after taking a thankful gulp of my putrid drink, "but fear is a great motivator and... the people who have found out about us all came to fear us. Even Roxy."

I looked directly at Mum when I dropped that name. She was still staring, weighing my words while I put it to her the way it really was.

"She knew about us by the end, and she did fear us. It didn't matter that she loved us and it didn't matter that she knew we loved her, she took the first opportunity to get away from us. We helped her and she still feared and fled us, but she'll never tell, partly because of her love for us and partly because of her fear of us. Gina will be the same way."

"You're comparing two very different situations," Mum countered, but I could see her starting to come around.

"Not really. From Roxy's perspective, who would believe her if she did blow the whistle? What would she even have to gain by doing that anyway, other than becoming your enemy? That wouldn't be good, would it?"

I asked that last question with a knowing smile that she didn't much like, but tolerated as I went on.

"It'll be the same for Gina. In fact, it'll work better because she's had a taste of abuse that Roxy never had. Right now, she knows firsthand how dangerous Kitten is and, if Gina's love for her doesn't breed enough loyalty to keep her mouth shut, her fear of someone who's capable of and proven willing to literally run her mind will. The only people who would ever believe her are us, the very people who would do god knows what to make sure she never opened her mouth again, should we ever get wind of it. Her and her loved ones back in Langley... She has a lot more to protect from us than just herself, and Gina's definitely bright enough to figure that out all on her own."

Sheila took a deep breath, looking at the carpet in front of her feet while she considered these things over a slow, heavy sigh. It was so weird to see them sitting together and I wondered what Mum's treatment of Sheila would be if she wasn't currently focused entirely on me and the situation at hand.

"The final reason I chose to handle it this way," I rounded up, "is because Gina and Kitten do love each other. Gina deserves... she deserves to know why she's losing Kitten."

"You can't be serious," Sheila almost hissed.

"Perfectly serious," I replied, taking another sip of my drink before addressing Mum. "So, those are my reasons. Obviously, you can veto the whole thing, but you left it for me to handle, and this is how I chose to handle it."

"Wait a minute," Sheila broke in, "I know what you said about Ashleigh not caring about Gina, but maybe this situation has come to the point where she should have a say."

"No," Mum answered, "It's true that she should rightfully have a say, but it won't be the right say. The three of us making the decision for the family is going to have to be good enough for her."

"She won't like it," Sheila fretted.

"Ashleigh's got her secrets and we got ours," I judged. "And now Gina's got hers too."

Kitten

I woke up on the couch with the dim light of dawn around the drawn curtains, knowing it was my apartment door that awoke me before my eyes were even completely open. It was Gina, standing in my foyer in the frozen stance of a thief caught red handed.

I was surprised to see her in a pair of black jeans. I'd seen them before; they were designer hip huggers and looked incredibly good on her slimmer frame, but she rarely wore them and the fact that she'd even brought them was surprising enough in itself.

"Good morning," I hailed with a smile, my horny now also waking up to her.

That's when I saw something was off, the sudden, forced smile added to her still frozen posture. Her reply was every bit as forced as her smile and she looked like the proverbial deer in my headlights.

"Good morning. I... was looking for something."

"What are you looking for?"

"Uh... my gold blouse..."

Now she was moving, albeit stiffly, into the living room, avoiding my face and looking around. She was nervous, her movements almost jerky, demeanor fluttering with anxiety as she crossed in front of me on her way to my bedroom.

"Gina, stop."

She slowed, her head jerking to the side to almost look at me for the first time since she'd entered, but she kept going. It was almost as though she only slowed out of habit, then reminded herself that she mustn't do that, but stay the course before resuming her single minded drive to my bedroom with a quick verbal brush off.

"Just a sec, I gotta... just a sec..."

She'd completely ignored my order, and there was only one way she could do that. Gina had somehow slipped her leash. Behind her, I was already on my feet and following her into my room by the time she got through the doorway, wondering how this could have happened. According to Stevie, his mummy spelled two women and the effect was still just as strong a week later, so it couldn't have worn off. Had I done something wrong?"

I came to stand in the doorway just in time to see her snatch her car keys from the top of my nightstand, calling uncertainly back to the living room, "It's not here, either, it must b-Oh!"

She'd turned and seen me in the doorway, receiving quite a start, now almost cringing with her forearms crossed in front of her chest as though to protect herself, clutching her keys and staring at me with fear before she suddenly averted her eyes. She didn't say anything and I watched this fear have its way with her, seeing how trapped she felt with me in the doorway, but lacking the will or courage to remove me.

"Going somewhere?" I calmly asked.

She swallowed desperately and I could see her eyes welling up as she stuttered, "I- I've been wondering where they were and-"

"You seem upset."

"No, I- I just- I..."

"Gina, sit down."

" ... K-kat... I just wanna go to- to my apartment and lay down cause I-"

"Look at me."

From my feet, she raised her eyes as far as my neck. Her fear was escalating and I could see her body vibrating with adrenaline. She wouldn't look at my face and this meant that she'd not only slipped her leash, but had also somehow figured out how I put it on. Needless to say, this presented me with a problem, one I had to solve while I had her attention and, most importantly, while she was still on the estate.

I allowed myself to slowly relax, taking a deep breath and sighing it out with a palsy walsy smile for her, saying, "You're upset. Why don't we just talk about this?"