Sharing the MILF List Ch. 11

"I had arranged to see her the next day. Saturday. We went to the movies and kissed the whole time. Walked out with her panties and bra in her purse. I fucked her against the car with people walking by us, rubbernecking till she came. We jumped in the car and I took her home. After that, the week after the opera, I could not get her out of my head. She told me after I fucked her she would fall in love with me if I would fall in love with her. She called me just as I pulled up to the house. She said, screw it. She was in love with me even if I just wanted to fuck her. I told her I wanted her mouth next and then her ass and she giggled and asked when. I suggested it should surprise us both and hung up. I learned that from you." Landon grinned and his shoulders relaxed.

He was not making a lot of sense. I could barely follow it but I got the gist of it. His addled account rather accented his assertion; the boy was in love in a bad way.

"But I could not face Mom that night." He stopped and his face got a quirky look on it. "Sonny, we never once discussed that night. Did you know my mom had such an amazing ass? Damn, I have never felt a woman who could do what she did with her ass. Or was it just me?"

I smirked. "Not just you, big guy. Your mom has the most amazing ass I have ever been in. And that number is getting higher, much higher than the first time I rammed her from behind. So I can judge better than before." I was intentionally crass to see if he would object, testing the waters a little.

"When was that, exactly?"

It seemed like an innocent question so I answered with a straight answer. "Soon after we started the MILF list, after you had been in Chicago that time and stayed to boat on the lakes. I got her ass in a dressing room in Pan Paris or one of those places at the Kings' Court Mall. Did her in a dressing room with Laura Wills right outside the door."

Landon shook his head. "Don't tell me. Not now. I'll change my mind."

I saw an opening and ran screaming into it. "Did I ever tell you about Brent and I doing Mom, Annie and Laura that first time? Mom mounted him and he did Laura and Annie. Mom ate Annie."

"Oh cut it out, Sonny. I can't keep with this shit and date Darlene."

"You mean fuck a hooker? I am not sure . . . . "

"Careful, Sonny." Landon said, his lips tight and his eyes tighter.

I lifted both hands. "Listen, you want my advice, don't go overboard. If she is a hooker, how concerned can she be if you fuck around? I mean really."

"But my own mother?" Landon hissed sotto voce. "I am not sure that balances with being a hooker."

I nodded. "Not really apples and apples is it? But listen, what do you know about her really? Darlene I mean. For example, how much does she charge?"

"Sonny! Goddammit!"

Landon's face got red and I knew I had gone too far. I sat looking him directly in the eyes for a few moments till the red faded from his face. Me and the guys, we never played poker except while watching sports. We all sucked. If we played games for serious it was bridge or chess because that was about getting it right, not trying to bluff and lie to each other. Not one of us could bluff when we meant to and we all knew it. I could tell I had made Landon angry and he never got angry, well, rarely. When he did, he usually did something really radical, completely overboard that was impossible to fix, nothing to do about it so I had to stop this before it went way too far. Landon tended to be inflexible about changing his mind.

I sat forward and placed my elbows on the table. "Listen, Landon. You get me to fuck everyone's mother; you darkly tell me no one is willing to wait. You insist I hurry and that I fuck them all and then proceed to integrate the MILF List with five guys with hard cocks. Now you sit there and tell me that you have fallen in love with a hooker, maybe a rich hooker and you want me to shrug and pat your hand and say it is okay, you don't have to fuck anyone you don't want to. Well, you fucking well don't. But goddammit Landon, this is not some plastic past time we engaged in just to pass the time like pitching pennies or something. We are fucking our own mothers!"

"Quiet. Jesus, Sonny, you want the whole place to know what we are talking about?"

I took a deep breath and discovered I was quivering with my own rage. That really surprised me. I didn't think I was angry. Can you be intuitively angry? It was funny to be surprised to find I was angry; made me feel a little stupid but it was a private stupid and that just made me want to giggle which would have been all wrong. I breathed deep a couple times before speaking again, oddly to let the anger seep back into me so I would not laugh in his face. "You fuck the girl once and then just because she jazzed up your jism, you think you are suddenly all moral and everything. You have crossed over more girls by far than I have even fucked, including the MILF list. Well, Landon, you can do what you want. You always do but let me go on record right here. Fuck you, Landon." I was shaking so hard I had to stop talking which was a good thing because I did not have anything more of interest to say.

Landon stared at me for a moment and I honestly thought I had fucked the knothole. His eyes bored into me and after a while I started wondering why I did not get nervous or antsy in the line of his intense stare. Then it dawned on me that I was right. Landon was wrong. He had to back down or, well, fuck him. And his mother . . . I almost smiled when that thought ran through my head. I'd never make it as a negotiator. But I never looked away from Landon's intense stare.

Finally, Landon broke our unblinking stare of the ten-year olds. He looked away and then nodded. "Okay. Sorry. I guess I got my big head and my little head mixed up." He looked over at me. "You're right of course. But Sonny, I really want this to work. I mean, I love being with her and she is just great! She is funny and interesting and classy and has a lot of the same sorts of experiences that I have. Her parents are fucked up in a whole different way than mine are but they are still fucked up." He grinned. "I think I really must be in love." He sobered. "I don't think getting a girl to accept that you want to fuck her and your mother is in the ballpark, do you? Not according to Hoyle I mean. To say nothing of fucking the mothers of all his friends while he is dating her. That just seems way beyond what a normal girl is going to put up with."

I almost shook my head but I did not want him to see what I was thinking. I almost said "Normal?" but managed to click my teeth closed and stifle myself. This was emotional poker. I had an ace up my sleeve and I played it. "What about Kyla?" I almost added, and her ass, but I didn't. I have a very active inner life; I think I am very interesting. That is the very meaning of sardonic I think.

"Kyla?" Landon's eyes clicked, like there was another set of eye lids that closed over his shiny blues making them glittering grey. "What about her?"

I hesitated then plunged forward. "She came over to Brent's house last Monday, before Mrs. Crawford left. Did you tell her I was going to be there?" Okay, a lie by implication but I think I can justify this.

"What? No. What were you doing there? Fucking Brent's mom while he was in class?"

I shook my head and ignored the implied accusation. "Fucking mine. And what if I was? Natasha would not turn me away. Anyway, Melissa, she stayed an extra day, she wanted to see me fuck mom." I ached. I so wanted to tell Landon about Sid and Alissa and trading Mom's shapely ass for my life—I have an high sense of drama too which also makes me interesting. "Melissa mentioned it to Mrs. Rossini and Natasha thought she'd like to see it too. I think she called your mother, invited her to join us. She dithered and did not arrive till I was handing Mrs. Crawford off to her nephew."

"Sammy? Jesus, do you think he fucked her again?"

"I know he did. I watched him jam her against Rossini's living room wall. I am pretty sure she liked it, a lot. Your mom arrived after they left and went right back and went down on my mom. I got back there and they were sixty-nining on the bed. Mom was dressed in just her white garters and stocking and your mom was starkers. She ate mom like a starved woman. Mom gave as good as she got and when Kyla came she screamed. I would have fucked her but I was beat. Luckily Brent arrived but she just wanted pussy. She was going down on Natasha when Mom and I left. Landon, have you been fucking her or not?" Funny thing about lying, once you start it is easy to just rearrange everything and see if it ever matters. Kyla was taking Brent when I left but I guess it felt more sensible to leave that out. I wanted Landon to think she was running from cock. That was what I thought I wanted at the time, anyway.

Landon looked away then, his face pale. When he looked back his eyes were blue again. "I, well, I haven't touched her since the night at the opera."

"Jesus Christ, Landon, do you think that was smart?"

"I couldn't! I went out that next night with Darlene and after I fucked her, I felt, I felt . . . shit."

"I know, like a cheat. Like you cheated one of them no matter what you did. But hey, buddy, guess what, the fucking world does not revolve around you. I think something else may have happened to your mother. She sure seemed intent on eating mom when she got to Brent's house." The vision of her riding Brent's big cock wafted past my eyes and my cock got hard again. Fucking thing can be distracting.

"She wanted your mom? Not your cock?"

"I did not fuck her, no." I said truthfully, skillfully leaving out the truth by including the right facts.

"The guys will love her ass." Landon said. Then he looked over at me. "Jesus, Sonny, what am I going to do? How do I fuck the MILF list and be in love at the same time? I have never done this!"

"Dude, I doubt anyone has. You must be the first guy in history to be trying to figure out how to fuck your mother and the hooker you are in love with at the same time without blowing a fuse." I shook my head.

Landon ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck, Sonny, what am I going to do?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. Landon was back and we were okay again. My anger seemed like another personality, now banished. Plus, Landon was asking me to help solve his problem. After a lifetime of following him around and trying not to be too obvious, it was cool to keep finding him looking to me for help finally. The MILF list had been good to me in lots of ways. It would continue to be.

"Listen, Landon, have they met?"

"Who? Darlene and Mom? No. I don't know. I don't think so."

"So your mom does not know you are in love or whatever?"

He shook his head. "No. We have barely spoken. She knows something is up though. I know that much."

"Duh. How could she not. You fuck her and then nothing? It is a lot worse than not calling after you boink some chick. She is your mother and she had to get up the nerve to take you and let you take her and then what do you do? Nothing is a bad, bad option, Landon my boy! Duffus!" I reached over and slapped him on the head.

Landon looked like I had grabbed his cock and tried to kiss him. When he laughed, there was real relief in it. "Gawd, Sonny, I have been stressing over this. Really. I ain't used to stressing about shit. That is your and Brent's job. So what do I do?"

"The first thing you have to do is go home and fuck Kyla. We cannot have her getting all gooey over girls and not do the five of us."

"Fuck her?"

"You are thinking about Darlene. How much do you know the girl besides her velvet underground I mean?"

Landon shook his head. "Not much more than you know I guess. Besides her underground, I mean." He shook his head. "That is so unlike me. I usually never see a girl twice unless I have a pretty good idea if she is a gold digger. If she is a gold digger then I know they'll fuck and I can dump them without doing any real damage when I am done with them. This is really different." He looked up at me. "Shit, I used to like gold diggers. What is happening to me? Okay, okay. I'll ask her. Is that right? Should I just ask her about, uh, you know."

"Hooking? You better be able to say it without stuttering or you will lose her. If she feels that you look down on her, well that could be bad, all other things being equal. You don't, do you?"

The look on Landon's face concerned me. The fucker had not really thought about a girlfriend hooking. He did not even know how he felt about it.

"Well?" I pressed. This was too important to just leave dangling or to make any assumptions about.

Landon put his head in his hands, a motion I had never seen him do. The poor guy had it bad.

"Jeezus, Sonny, I guess I never really thought about it."

I felt so smart, smug even. "Well, you need to think about it. Really." A plan was forming in my little lizard brain but I had to have Landon hooked into it if it would work. It was not fully formed at that time but I knew Kyla wanted to know who her son was fucking instead of her. No, that wasn't right. I was rattled. Kyla wanted to know why he was fucking someone else. Still not right. She wanted to know why he wasn't fucking her. There was more to it but I could not make sense of it yet. But I needed to know something. "You have to fuck your mom, Landon. Right now. Go fuck her. If you can't, then we know something."

"Can't? What do you mean?"

Landon is unbelievable! "I mean the little soldier stays in the rack." I muttered darkly.

Landon stared at me. "Fuck Sonny, you mean that could happen?"

When he laughed, I felt relieved. Not that it had happened to me yet but I am realistic. Anything that comes, can go. If you cannot make it come, you cannot keep it from going. I was relieved because he joked about it and that was a good sign.

"Landon, think a moment. If you don't fuck Kyla, if you really are in love Darlene and it is the real thing, what does that mean? Darlene is going have to meet mommy dearest. Do you really want that to happen with Kyla strung out on Landon cold turkey after just one fuck? How do you think that is going to go over?"

"Like a lead balloon." Landon said.

"Like a preacher on Facebook," I echoed, altering the cliché, for the better I hoped. Nope.

"Or a censor on Literotica." Landon echoed, getting into the spirit. "Or incest on Amazon." He added. "How is your book doing? Making any money?"

I shrugged. "My friends have all bought it, I think. So, sales are slow and no one is brave enough to leave a good review. Fuckers. I need more friends, more brave friends!"

"Can you blame them? The shit your write, I bet no one wants to be accused of liking it." He grinned then. "Medium McClusky will be famous eventually!" He shook his head. "The Pleasure Contracts! You are unbelievable!"

I was so relieved he was teasing me. "Right. But focus, Landon, think about it. Can you leave your mom alone while you figure this out? In the long run, you want your mom to approve of your wife to be, to be nice and kind to her, to help and encourage the two of you and in the end, accept her as part of the family; at the very least not be a total bitch to the both of you, right? No matter how much she has pissed you off till now, in life or love, your mother will always be your mother and you want to be able to . . . ." I stumbled, searching for a big finish and finding none I knew would be a safely turned phrase. Landon stepped in and helped me out.

" . . . fuck her in the ass from time to time." He finished.

I nodded emphatically. "Right. How can you resist that astonishing ass?"

"So fuck her?"

"Fuck her. Yes."

"What about Darlene?"

I almost said, fuck her, too! But didn't. I thought a moment. "Landon, let me ask you something. When we started this MILF list did you think you would fall in love with mommy and swear off all other girls?"

He shook his head.

"Did you think that you would find a woman who would know about you fucking your mom and approve?" The plan was forming nicely in my mind.

Again, he shook his head.

"So did you presume that you would keep the fact you were a motherfucker a secret?"

He nodded. But then he held up a finger. "I had a dream of Mom and Theresa, you remember her? The tall girl with the great legs? I dreamed of fucking her and Mom one time." He grinned raffishly, "At the same time, I mean."

So close. I almost smirked. I almost do lots of stuff. Imagination is so much cheaper than reality and fewer bruises. It's that wonderful inner life I enjoy so much. "So there is nothing about the MILF list that has to be disclosed till you know more about the girl. Maybe she is fucking daddy and it will just be more confirmation that you found a good match."

"Jeezus, Sonny. Fucking her father. You really think so?"

"No, idiot." I almost hit him again. My imagination was much funnier than I thought reality would be, which was why I didn't smack Landon. "Her father's a dick, remember! You missed my point."

"You had a point?"

Landon was starting to sound just like Sammy. Fuck me. "That you don't know enough about Darlene yet. The truth is the last thing you drop on someone if you want them to ever be hooked into you. Wrapping is valuable. If she is horribly ashamed . . . "

"I am pretty sure there is none of that. She seemed very pragmatic about hooking. You know, fucking us to keep us quiet."

"Fucking you to keep us quiet, buddy. Remember that. I have one in the queue."

Landon nodded, acknowledging my point. It was bullshit. He had paid for so much stuff we had done together over the years I had more debt than I could ever repay. "My point was entirely that you need to get more information but in doing so, plan for the best. Fuck Kyla and get that situation fixed. Then we can figure out what to do next. If Kyla is not fixable, we have a problem and likely the rest won't matter if that blows up. But let's not borrow trouble." That was a classic Brent phrase when I or Chris got all bothered by some plan he cooked up while we were planning, usually, as I thought about it, to get Landon out of trouble. Sammy never got bothered by anything, what a happy guy he was. Suddenly I felt guilty about not letting him fuck his own mother. But I reasoned, I had to make her pay me something like that or she would feel guilty about taking my help with Sid, mine and Mom's actually. I almost chortled. Alissa owed my mother! How was she going to repay that? I shook my head telling myself to focus but filing it away for later consideration.

Landon actually nodded. "Fuck me but you are right, Sonny. If I don't fuck Kyla, nothing will be possible, even if I am not nutso out of my mind and actually have found the right girl."

That was that.

Tuesday night I went home to the loving arms and legs of my beautiful mother and I fucked her, just like the other nights. In the back of my mind, I was searching for a way to give Laura what, for other women proved to be a foursome with me and my mom. But since we had already done that, plus Annie and minus Chris, I needed something else, something special for her. I owed her. We all did. Her willingness to be the maid and suck and fuck without coming was a bonus to the airtight tournament and well benefited. Having her at the airtight tournaments was wonderful and she never demanded to be included. She put the other women at ease, got them rolling; a lesson I never forgot. She enjoyed being the voyeur and feeling the lingering arousal that when unsatisfied. It was like reading a romance novel.

I needed to find a way to give her the best she could imagine before we all demonstrated in fact what she had been observing in theory till now. All the other MILFs should go down on her or something. I wanted something that gave her a high that she deserved. She had waited all this time. This was on my mind when I got home: orgy for Laura? What a stick-it that would make.