Silver Arrow Ch. 10-12

Christie had begun to enhance her computer skills to add some other services to her billing business. She had taken distance learning courses at the University of Louisville. She saw a need for someone who could help small businesses with their computer programs, keeping them updated and functioning efficiently. She had done something like this at her old job and was canvassing some of her billing customers to see what their needs might be.

"I'm encouraged, Doug. I think I can help some of these people and make a little more income while I'm at it. It's worth a try, anyway."

"I agree. I'm pretty hopeless on computers, but Bill and Debbie are really good and I get the feeling Sandy won't be far behind them in a few years. They are making me feel obsolete," I moaned.

"Don't let it bother you, Doug. You are really good at a lot of other things. Kids naturally gravitate to the latest and greatest gizmos. I only learned because it was part of my job. Otherwise I'd be as far behind as you think you are."

I laughed. "So, what are the other things that I'm really good at ... besides being a bus driver?"

She blushed and stammered. "Well, uh, you are a great father. Those three children are proof of that."

"Thanks ... that's nice to hear, even though Diane should take most of the credit," I said, meaning it.

"You run a mean barbeque," she giggled.

"Okay ... I can accept that." I wasn't about to let her off the hook.

"Uhhm ... you always look ... neat. Even when you aren't in uniform, you look ... neat ... handsome. Women notice things like that."

"Well, now I'm flattered. Thank you," I smiled. "Anything else?" I probed.

"Uhhm ... well ... it's too personal."

"What's too personal?"

"No ... I don't want to go there," she said, looking away from me.

"Come on, Christie. Don't tease me like that."

She looked at me long and hard. "Diane told me you are, and I quote, 'Dynamite in bed,'" she finally managed.

Now it was my turn to blush and look away.

"I guess I asked for that, didn't I?"

"Sorry, Doug. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I should have just kept my big mouth shut."

"It's okay, Christie. It's not like it's a slam on me or anything. I guess if I was the bragging type, I'd be letting all my pals know she thought that."

She nodded with a wrinkled smile. "I was always envious of Diane. I mean, even before I met you, she was such a 'together' woman. Then, when you came here and the two of you got back together, I could see what she had that I didn't have. I kept comparing you to Paul and he came out on the short end every time."

"The short end?" I repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"You know what I mean," she giggled, now a bit flustered.

The conversations had meandered into the personal and I was having a bit of harmless fun with Christie, or so I thought.

When I looked over at her, I could see tears forming and I wondered if I had pushed her too far. I reached out for her hand and took it in mine, holding it gently. I got a light squeeze in return.

"I'm sorry if I upset you," I said quietly.

She shook her head. "No ... you didn't. Just ... I don't know where my life is going any more. I'm thirty-one and single again. I wanted children and a family and the only chance I've got is slipping away. I can't tell you how important it's been to be here, Doug. But ... they are your children, not mine. I love them, but someday I wanted to have one of my own. I know it's not too late, but I don't even have a boyfriend, much less a possible husband candidate."

"Christie, you are a very attractive woman in the prime of your life. You have got to get out and socialize if you want to find a future husband. You can't do it in that basement suite and you can't do it looking after the children every day. You have to have some private time to yourself. You should make contact with your old girlfriends and get out of here for a while. It will do you the world of good," I preached.

She looked at me with a tearful smile and nodded. She wasn't arguing my point. But who was I to talk. Diane had been gone six months and I hadn't even thought about going out on a date. I was still grieving for her, but each day that passed made it easier to deal with her loss. I don't think I'd ever forget her, but I knew now that it would get easier to think about someone else. But like Christie, I hadn't even made an attempt.

She must have taken my suggestion to heart because the middle of the next week she let me know she was going out to dinner with some of her former workmates. It was a Wednesday evening and I told her to have a good time as she stepped out of the door and got into a car I didn't recognize. Good. She wasn't driving and she could let loose a bit and have some fun.

I heard her come in just after eleven and quietly head down to her suite. I'd gone to bed an hour earlier, but for some reason I didn't immediately fall asleep as would normally have been the case. Stupid! I was acting like it was Debbie out on a date with an unknown boyfriend, not a grown woman with her female friends. I dropped off to sleep immediately afterward.

That week set a pattern. When I was home during the week, Christie would arrange to meet with some of her friends in the evening, sometimes for dinner and sometimes for drinks and dancing, she said. She asked permission to hire Juliet when I was on the road so that she could go out one night and I got a little irritated with her.

"Of course you can," I said immediately when she asked. "Except, I will pay Juliet, not you."

We argued about that, but I put my foot down and she reluctantly agreed. I knew she wouldn't take advantage of the situation or me, so it was a small gift that I could give her to help her get back into the dating mainstream.

The once-a-week pattern continued through October and November until one night I heard a car drive up and both doors close. Christie didn't come in the front door, so I assumed she came in the private basement entrance. That was something different, but I really didn't dwell on it and I was soon asleep.

The next morning, I walked into the kitchen and found the door to her suite was closed and, I suspected, locked. It took me a moment to put two and two together and realize she had a visitor last night. I can't explain just how that made me feel. I was glad she might have developed a relationship with some guy, but the inference was that she might have been intimate with him. That upset me for some reason. Was I being over-protective? Again, the parallel with Debbie came to mind and I dismissed it. It wasn't the same at all.

Debbie was dating now. I wanted her to hold off until her sixteenth birthday for some reason. I'm not sure just what that date was supposed to symbolize, but I wasn't going to say no as long as I got a look and a hello from any boy she was with. Debbie was good about it, considering most of her school friends were already dating and she was aware some of them had been sexually active as well.

"I'm going to have a conversation with her," Christie told me one morning. "She's growing up fast and there's plenty of peer pressure at her age to be one of the gang. I won't tell her she can't, Doug, but I will tell her what she should or shouldn't do. I know you don't want to clamp a lid on her social life, but she needs to know what the boundaries are and that's up to you. I'll simply be the voice of a woman instead of a dad."

"Thank you, Christie. I've been dreading this moment. I don't know how I would have handled it, but I'd probably make a mess of it. Even at my age, women are still a mystery to me."

She laughed. "I've heard that line before. I know Debbie well enough that I can do it and not be too hard on her. I do have a suggestion though, and you might not like it at all."

"Go ahead," I said, wondering what this was about.

"I suggest she see her doctor with a note from you asking that she be put on birth control."

"Oh," I said, feeling the air go out of me. "I wasn't expecting that."

I must have sat there for some time trying to grasp what Christie was suggesting.

"Do you think she'll want to ... I mean ... will that mean ... oh damn? Is it going to tell her that it's okay? Sex, I mean?"

Christie was shaking her head, but not smiling. "No, Doug. That's what my talk with her will be about. I don't know about you, but at her age, I was pretty ... adventuresome. I mean, I lost my virginity even before my sixteenth birthday. I didn't intend to, and I had promised myself I wouldn't, but I did. I had the best of intentions, but when raging hormones meet raging hormones, anything can happen. I just want her to be protected."

"Huh!" I said, not looking at her. "I was a virgin on my wedding might. Imagine that."

"I can't. You were one-in-a-hundred, Doug. Maybe that's what made it so special with you and Diane. Who knows? These days I get the feeling the kids think no more of it than going to the movies. I hope Debbie has a stronger sense of responsibility to herself than that. I'm betting she does, knowing her as well as I do."

"Yeah ... you do know her, don't you. I think that's why I'm so confident with you talking to her. She knows you and she trusts you and that's huge in my book."

"Thank you, Doug. I'll let you know how it goes."

I don't know when exactly they had that conversation, but it wasn't a week later that Christie gave me the thumb-and-finger okay that it had gone well when I saw them come into the kitchen together. I managed not to exhale too loudly. That was a big burden off my back. Thank God for Christie.

We had a fun Thanksgiving together. Christie, Debbie, and Sandy made all the preparations while Bill and I dealt with the cleanup. It probably wasn't the best job of washing and drying, but I know they appreciated our efforts. So what if a few glasses had to be rewashed. No big deal.

Christmas was coming and I had already decided on the gifts for the children. I hadn't decided on what to get Christie yet. I had to give it some thought and I came up with something that I thought was personal, different and, with any luck, would be accepted with enthusiasm. I bought a certificate for a complete makeover from a salon that had an impeccable reputation. I crossed my fingers that she would enjoy it.

Even when Diane and I were fairly well off, we never over-indulged at Christmas. I guess that was our Scandinavian heritage showing through. The children were, of course, the focus of the day, so we made sure they weren't left to feel we skimped. The three main gifts for each were good quality, while the remaining stocking stuffers were more trinkets than anything important. This Christmas was no exception.

I left Debbie and Sandy's gifts to Christie at her suggestion. They were close and I knew Christie would use good judgment. I thought about Bill and had little trouble finding what I wanted. He was growing up and already almost as tall as me. I was sure he would be much bigger than me when he matured. I'm sure that must have been a relief to him. Both his mother and father were pretty small by today's standards.

Christmas was great fun and each present given was gratefully received. I think because we didn't go overboard on quantity, more thought was given to each gift and it showed.

Our Christmas Day dinner was not the big production number like Thanksgiving. We had been snacking most of the day on things that we had bought or made for the day and by evening we didn't have a big appetite. I was still managing my diet and I was comfortable with my lifestyle. Bill was the one with the big appetite, so Christie and I made sure he got his full allotment of calories, along with some of mine. He would burn them off soon enough. He was back to being a very active kid.

Christie continued to go out once a week, but there was no repeat of her bringing someone back to the suite as far as I could tell. I wondered who she was seeing, but didn't have the nerve to ask. I didn't know any of her former friends, so there was no one to gossip either.

Christie threw a party for me on my fortieth birthday in February. It was hard to believe that I was that old. Debbie was sixteen, Bill almost fifteen, and Sandy was twelve. They were growing up so fast and there were times when I wished I could slow them down a bit. I didn't want to miss a moment of their youth.

I was now one of the senior drivers at Silver Arrow and that gave me some privileges and benefits. One, I could choose my assignments. Two, I could get an early pick at vacation time. Three, my performance had put me at the top of the pay scale and accordingly, my tips were always among the highest. I had a good income and for the most part, a good life. But I knew now that just those things would never be enough.

My children were growing. Deborah, or Deb, or Debbie, depending upon which of her family or friends addressed her, was sixteen and mature beyond her years. Whether it was the loss of her mother and my reliance on her that pushed her into an adult-like role, I wasn't sure. I had become as dependent on her as I had on Christie. I was immensely proud of her and probably didn't tell her that often enough.

Bill, at nearly fifteen, was still a bit of an enigma. Quiet, yet not surly or moody, he did his household duties without complaint. I knew he was going through the early stages of puberty. To his frustration, acne was present and he did his best to hide it but, as with any of us at that age, it was fruitless. I sat with him and explained that I had suffered from it as well, but in time it disappeared, and as he could see, didn't cause any lasting effects. His situation was mild and I was thankful for that. I had seen the outcome of more aggressive cases and it wasn't pretty.

Sandy, now twelve, was still a year or so away from entering womanhood. Again, I would be completely reliant upon Christie to help her through that time. She was still the lively, happy young girl with plenty of friends and a host of activities that kept both of us busy transporting her around.

All of the children were active with their peers and doing well in school. I had nothing to worry about at this stage other than Debbie's growing interest in boys. Christie had promised to keep an eye on her and counsel her when she thought it was required. Where did she learn these skills? She had never been a mother and yet she seemed to have all the right instincts.

"I was a teenager once too," she smiled when I questioned her. "It wasn't so long ago that I can't remember what it was like and what kind of pressures were on me and others around me. Bill is more difficult for me to help because I can't put myself in his place. That's where you come in. You have to be his mentor. It won't be that long before he is exploring his sexuality."

I let my breath out loudly. I wasn't looking forward to having that conversation. After all, my parents had never had "the talk" with me. I was left to figure it out for myself. I wondered often if that was the reason I was still a virgin at twenty-two. Then again, I was a "shrimp" among my peers. You can't get too many young girls worked up about you when you're a slightly built five-seven and don't have any athletic letters to your name.

Bill was going to be a lot bigger than me. He already was. His bone structure was bigger and he was already taller and was still growing. I suppose it had something to do with diet, but I'm sure somewhere in my or Diane's genetic background there was some evidence of bigger people than her and me. Debbie was about my height and filling out nicely. It was too early to tell with Sandy, but I suspected she would be similar to her sister.

I wondered briefly if I was the father of all three. Why would I think that? Diane's demise? If she was having sex with other men, how long had it been going on? Was it possible, as repugnant as it would be, that they were fathered by someone else? I didn't think so. Hair color, eyes, and other physical features were all within the range of both me and my family.

But it did nag at me, and so I did the unthinkable. On the sly, I collected DNA samples, provided one of my own, and sent them to a lab in Cincinnati for evaluation. I told myself I wasn't in a rush, but the six weeks it took to get the results were the longest I could remember. When they finally arrived, I was almost unable to open the envelope. Did I really want to know? What would it change if they weren't mine?

I finally summoned the courage and slit the seal. I pulled out five sheets of paper, four of which were the usual DNA markings that I couldn't make head nor tail of. The fifth sheet was the only one that mattered. I looked at the last paragraph, and couched in typical technical language lay the answer. They were mine. All three of them were mine to a 99.98% surety. That was good enough for me. I immediately destroyed the report.

With that needless uncertainty put to rest, I began to think about Diane once more. What as she doing that fateful and fatal night? Who was she with? I wasn't satisfied with not knowing and decided I had to make an attempt to push the investigation again.

"Detective Carl Etchevarry, please?" I asked when the station operator answered.

"One moment please."

And it was only a moment before I heard the familiar voice, "Etchevarry."

"It's Doug Hansen, Detective. I wonder if you could spare me a few minutes to talk about my wife's case. I assume it hasn't been dropped yet?"

"No. It might go into the 'cold case file' if nothing turns up soon, but it's still an active file and will remain so until we solve it or admit there is no way."

"So ... can we talk?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Do you have anything new to add?"

"I don't know. I'd just like to go over all the bits and pieces we do know and see if anything has been missed or stands out. Can you find some time?"

"Yes, I can. Are you going to be in town this week?"

"I'm going out for three days tomorrow, but I'll be back Friday morning."

"Is Friday afternoon okay?" he asked.

"Sure. How about two o'clock?"

"Good, two is fine. We'll meet here where I've got all the files."

"See you then, Detective ... and ... thanks."

I hung up and thought about what we knew and what we didn't know. I needed to talk to Christie and Juliet before Friday.

To Be Continued