Sleepwalking

"Wow. You look very nice," he told her.

She'd worn a silky white blouse with a blue skirt and heels. She still wore her hair just above her shoulders, and even at 58, she was still able to not only pull off long hair, it still looked fabulous on her. She was also still wearing the matching blue cardigan she'd worn to work, and it was almost warm enough to leave it in the car.

"Oh. Thank you. I would have worn something less formal, but..."

"No. Work. I get it," Matt said as he closed her door.

Matt was wearing a very nice shirt and a pair of pants that went well with it, and Connie mentioned how handsome he looked.

Matt laughed to play off the compliment but did thank her before turning the conversation back to her.

"You look great in heels, but I don't think you're going to want to do much walking in them."

"Matt, I'm really sorry. I didn't think ahead very well, did I?" an apologetic Connie said.

"No worries," he replied. "Have you had lunch yet?"

"No. I haven't. Did you want to go somewhere?"

"Actually..." Matt began. "I brought something."

"You what?"

"Come on."

Matt held out a hand which Connie looked at with a kind of suspicious look.

He saw it and smiled.

"My car's only about 10 yards from yours, and that's where the goodies are."

She looked at him then at his hand again before holding hers out.

Matt took it then led her toward his vehicle.

"I wasn't sure if you'd have had time to eat, and in case you hadn't, I uh, I made something for us."

"Oh, my goodness! Matt, you didn't need to do that!"

He chuckled then said, "I always try and be prepared."

"Unlike me," Connie replied, but not in a snide way. It was more an admission of guilt.

"Or maybe like the Boy Scouts?" Matt suggested.

Connie laughed and asked, "You said you were a Marine, right?"

Now Matt laughed.

"I did. And while we're on that subject, do you know what the difference is between the Marine Corps and the Boy Scouts?"

"Um...no," she said as they arrived at his car.

"The Boy Scouts have adult leadership."

When Connie only gave him a puzzled look, he did his best to explain how that was a common saying among Marines who were perennially disgruntled about something. She finally laughed out of politeness, but Matt knew she didn't understand.

"Sorry. It's a Marine thing," he told her as he popped the trunk.

As soon as it opened, Connie's eyes got big.

"Matt. What did you do?" she asked.

"It's no big deal," he told her as he reached in for the expensive wooden basket and the checkered tablecloth it was on.

"This is amazing!" Connie told him as she let him get the basket then picked up the lighter object.

"I'd like to take credit for it, but it's one of the perks of owning a catering business," Matt told her, as he reached in with his other hand and grabbed a blanket he'd brought along.

They found a quiet spot and spread out the red and white cloth for the basket before laying down the blanket for them to sit on.

"So what's in here?" Connie asked as she gently pulled back the linen covering.

"Matt! This is...crazy!" she said when she saw the array of food.

There were melon balls on skewers for the appetizer along with some bruschetta that looked delicious.

"Have you had Muffaletta?" he asked as he showed her what he'd brought.

"No. No, I haven't."

"It's a type of Italian bread that originated with immigrants in New York. We use it for little sandwiches like these all the time."

"Oh, my gosh! This all looks wonderful!"

He pulled back another layer of white linen and Connie saw several pieces of sushi.

"And for dessert," Matt said as he showed her some stuffed dates.

As if that wasn't enough, he also had a small decanter of red wine and two glasses as well as a wooden slat to set them on so they'd stay level.

"I don't even know what to say," Connie told him.

"Then try the food, and tell me what you think," Matt suggested as he poured the wine and handed her a skewer.

By the time she got to the Muffaletta, Connie was in heaven.

"This is SO good!" she said as she chewed the first tiny bite.

"Yeah, they're a big hit for a lot of different occasions."

She finished chewing then said, "I can see why!" before taking another little bite.

"You know, like when a guy is trying to make a good first impression on a beautiful woman."

Matt was smiling, and yet Connie somehow knew he wasn't joking. She took a sip of wine and as the soft, almost buttery taste hit her tongue, an equally pleasant emotion swept over her.

She knew she shouldn't encourage him, and yet she heard herself say, "You're doing a very good job of that."

He smiled again then said, "I'm glad. After all, it only seems fair since you made such an amazing impression on me at, and after, your daughter's reception."

Connie didn't say anything, but as she took another bite of the most delicious sandwich she'd ever tasted, she found herself glancing at Matt several times within the space of a few seconds. The third time she did he saw her and smiled. At 58, she felt like she should be beyond the kind of flutter his smile caused, but evidently that wasn't so.

She wanted to eat the entire sandwich, but set it down halfway through and took another look at the sushi.

"What do you recommend, Chef Matt?" she asked.

"I like pretty much everything except for Unagi."

"That's eel, right?"

"Yes. And I'm not wild about eel."

Connie laughed then took a piece of Hamachi or yellow tail and popped it in her mouth.

She rolled her eyes back in delight.

"Good?" Matt asked.

"Uh-uh. Not good. Sensational!"

She wanted to eat a dozen more pieces but only had another two, and both were equally wonderful.

Even the stuffed dates were superb and had just the right amount of sweetness to top off a perfect meal.

"I don't even know what to say," Connie told him as she finished the chianti in her glass.

"The look on your face said it all," Matt told her, another amazing smile on his.

"Oh. Poor you. You had to look at my face!" she teased.

She laughed but Matt didn't.

"Actually, I had to force myself not to stare," he told her in a way that made her shiver even in the warmth of the sun.

"I...I think I might like to take this sweater off now," she said rather than look at him or address his comment.

He slid over and helped her with it, and even folded it before handing it back to her.

"I'm sorry we couldn't walk around," Connie said after she laid the sweater on her lap.

"No. That's fine. I'm happy just sitting her with you."

Again, it wasn't just the words but the way Matt said them that sent another shiver through her body.

"Matt? Is there really no one in your life?" Connie asked as she looked at him and couldn't understand how someone as kind, polite, and attractive as him could be alone.

"No. No one," he told her as he stared out at the park. "It's been 12 years, and while I've dated a fair amount, I've still never met anyone like Casey."

"Do you...want to tell me about her?" Connie asked as politely as she could.

Matt looked at her then smiled again.

"If you get me started, I won't be able to stop."

"I wouldn't mind," she assured him.

"Tell you what. I'll tell you about my wife if you'll share something with me about your husband."

Connie's face lit up immediately and she agreed without a second thought.

She listened carefully to every word as Matt recounted how they met when he was a tactics instructor at something called The Basic School, a six-month introductory for all Marine Corps officers at Quantico, Virginia, where Casey was a second lieutenant going through the course.

They met quite by chance one evening at a local bar, and by the time the night was over, Matt was smitten.

"And I believe she was, too, believe it or not," he told Connie with a little laugh.

"Oh, I believe it," she replied with a little laugh of her own.

They kept their budding romance a secret until her graduation. Matt had been there for almost three years and had orders to Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, which is where Casey was also being sent. He arrived two months after she completed supply officer's school, and less than a year later, they were married at the base chapel.

"And you were sent to Iraq just seven months later?" she asked.

"Yes. And Casey also volunteered to go so we could finish our tours around the same time. Otherwise, I could have come back and she might have just been going there or to Afghanistan. At the time, it made perfect sense."

It was obvious that Matt had loved her dearly just by the way he spoke about her. He'd never loved anyone before or since, and by the time Connie began talking about her late husband, she felt like she'd known Matt for much longer than the week or so it had actually been.

"He sounds like an amazing guy," Matt told her at one point when Connie started to get a little choked up.

"He was. He was truly wonderful," she said as she choked back tears and continued.

Matt hadn't moved away since helping her with the sweater, and when she apologized for crying, he told her he understood. He also moved his hand over and placed it on hers as he'd done in the coffee shop. Connie was unaware that she hadn't flinched for several seconds when she realized how she would have reacted to anyone else who'd done that.

She not only didn't pull her hand away, she laced her fingers in his when he opened his hand, then continued talking until she was sure she'd bored him half to death.

"Thank you for doing that," he told her sincerely. "I don't know if this makes any sense, but I often feel like I'm somehow able to keep her with me if I talk about her."

"Oh, it makes perfect sense," Connie said immediately. "I've felt that way since the day he...passed away."

Matt let go of her hand and put his arm around her shoulder, and again, Connie didn't move away or ask him what he was doing. It actually seemed like the most natural thing in the world, and when he did, she put hers around his lower back.

Neither of them spoke. They just looked out at the various things they could have seen had they walked around. But as they sat there, Connie was very happy that she'd been asked to work and worn heels that kept her from doing much walking.

"This was really nice, Matt," Connie said after two or three minutes passed in silence.

"It was. Thank you for agreeing to meet me here."

"No. It was my pleasure, and the food was incredible."

"So was the company," Matt told her as he turned his head and looked at her.

"I...I agree," Connie quietly replied.

She wanted to turn his way, but she felt that if she did, he might try and kiss her. And while her heart was pounding in her chest in anticipation, she still couldn't really believe that a man his age would want to do that.

But he did want to do that, and when he reached across her body and touched her chin, the shiver she'd been experiencing became something more like a bolt of lighting. His fingers gently turned her chin toward him, and when their eyes met, Connie's entire body was trembling.

"Matt. I...I'm not sure this is a very good..."

He pressed his lips against hers and stopped her from trying to talk him out of what he was already doing. When she kissed him back, Connie realized her objections were anything but sincere.

After maybe five seconds or so, Matt slowly pulled back and smiled. But the moment he did, she looked down at the cardigan in her lap and didn't say a word.

"I hope that was okay," he said very quietly, his right arm still around her shoulders.

"I...I just don't...I'm not sure I understand, Matt," a very quiet Connie replied, still not looking at him.

"If I offended you, I apologize. It's just that I...I've never had these kinds of feelings for any woman, since...since Casey was alive."

"Matt. I'm flattered, but I don't...this doesn't make any sense."

"I don't understand why you don't understand," he quietly replied.

"Because you're saying that your feelings are...romantic. At least that's how it sounds. Am I missing something?"

"No. You're absolutely correct."

"Then I'm really missing something," Connie said as she looked at him to try and understand what he meant.

"I'm not implying love, Connie," he said before smiling and adding, "yet."

"Then what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I have the same kinds of feelings for you that I had for Casey when I first met her. And I've never had them for any other woman."

He paused as he looked into her eyes then said, "Ever."

"I'm...I'm still not following," Connie told him as her eyes darted back and forth with his.

"Why? What's so hard to understand? I'm obviously attracted to you physically, but I wouldn't have these feelings if that's all there was."

"I...I think I may kind of understand, but I still don't really understand."

"Wow. I know I'm rusty at flirting and sharing my feelings with a woman, but am I really that bad?" Matt asked with another warm smile.

Connie finally got it. But getting it only made things worse.

"Why would you...what is it that..."

Connie looked back down for a moment before looking at him again then asked, "Why me?"

"Why not you?" Matt asked with a warm smile.

"I know you said this isn't love..."

"Yet," Matt said, interrupting her with yet another amazing smile.

"Um...okay. But...Matt, I'm...I...I can't have children. I know you're not talking about that, but..."

"Connie? I used to want children. I really did. But I'm almost 40 now myself. And before I could ever love a child, I need to love another woman. Even then, I just don't see children in my future."

When she only stared at him, Matt asked another question.

"Is it the age difference?"

She sort of shook her head a little then said, "Well, yes. I mean, I...I told you my age, so it's not like you're holding out hope that I'm...45 or even 50."

When he laughed, it wasn't a mean laugh, but Connie was even more confused.

"Okay. Now I understand," he told her.

"That makes one of us," Connie said, a blank look on her face.

"I was sure you meant my age," Matt explained.

Connie did another little head shake then said, "It isn't?"

Matt laughed again and said it wasn't.

"No. Not at all. I don't care about that. I care about how you make me feel when I'm with you. I care about the way you seem to know me and the way we connect. That's what matters to me."

The blank stare was interrupted by another 'lighting bolt' that coursed through her body. She wanted to speak but couldn't.

"If that's not how you feel about me, or if you see me as...immature...then I'll just have to live with that, but otherwise I don't..."

As if possessed, Connie reached over and touched his face then moved closer and kissed him. It wasn't fast or slow and only lasted a second. But before Matt could even smile, she pulled him to her and kissed him again. Moments later Matt ended up on top of her on the blanket, and this kiss lasted no less then 15-20 seconds and was on the verge of getting passionate.

Matt smiled at her then said, "So do I?"

"What? Do you...what?" a now once-again-confused Connie asked.

"Make you feel about me the way you make me feel about you?"

This time she didn't shake her head, but she also didn't smile.

In a very serious-but-quiet tone, she replied with just one word barely above a whisper.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

Connie smiled then nodded her head and said, "Yes."

"Really?" a very happy Matt asked her.

"Yes. Really."

But by the time she went to bed that night, Connie wasn't so sure. Unable to sleep, she did her best to rationally think this through, but after three hours of churning and stewing, she was more confused than she'd been before they kissed.

She was certain that she liked Matt. And how could she not? He was as kind and decent as any man she'd ever met, and he clearly liked her. But was it really romance? Wasn't it possible, or even more likely, that this was just a kind of 'sugar high' brought on by someone she liked making her feel like it was than actual romance?

And then there was Mackenzie as well as her friends. What would they think if they saw her with someone almost 20 years younger than her? She tried countering that with, "Why should I care?" but the truth was she did care. And even though it would be difficult to explain to her friends, how could she possibly tell her 28-year old daughter she'd fallen for a man barely ten years older than her?

The warm, pleasant feelings she'd experienced for hours earlier that day had been replaced by a knot in her stomach that was causing it to physically hurt. So around 2am, Connie got up and took some Maalox to soothe the ache then sat down in her recliner and laid back and closed her eyes.

When her alarm went off, it initially didn't startle her. She fallen into such a deep sleep she had no idea where she was or how she'd ended up there. But when the fog lifted enough for her to recall the how and the why, she felt sick to her stomach again.

Making matters worse, when she got to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes were red and puffy, and she was so exhausted she didn't think she could go to work. After a cup of coffee she still felt awful and was relieved she didn't have to go to work.

Somehow, she managed to fall back asleep around 10am, and when she woke up, it was nearly six o'clock. Just like before, she was so out of sorts she wasn't quite sure what was going on. The difference was that this time, at least, she wasn't so tired she couldn't think. Her stomach had stopped hurting, but now it was screaming at her because she hadn't eaten a thing all day.

She sat up then reached for her phone out of habit then tensed up when she checked to see how many messages she had. There was a red '6' and as she checked them, her stomach knotted up again when she saw that one of them was from Matt. Rather than read it first, she read the two from her daughter, and the happy tone and the good news in them made her smile.

She replied to Mackenzie then read and answered those from her friends and dismissed one from someone wanting to buy her house 'at a fair price'. This person addressed her as 'Dear Constance', and while she didn't hate her given name, no one on earth called her that.

She waited until after she ate before feeling strong enough to read Matt's text then opened it and hoped it would be someone along the lines of telling her, "I've been thinking, and this just isn't going to work out."

But no, it not only didn't say that or anything close to it. In fact, after she read it, that same warm feeling from the day before returned.

"Hi, Connie. I wanted to let you know that I had an incredible time with you yesterday. I can honestly say I haven't experienced anything like that since Casey was alive. I hope you won't mind me saying you were the last thing I thought of before I fell asleep last night and the first thing I thought of when I woke up.

I'd very much like to see you again, and honestly? Sooner would be better than later."

He put some smiley things below that then finished with, "Thanks again for a really enjoyable day."

Within ten minutes, she was at wits ends again. She reread his text and felt better, but less than a minute after reading it the second time, she was doubting herself.

"Wait!" she said to loud to herself. "Mackenzie is coming home tonight!"

She sent her daughter a text that said, "Honey? If you get a minute, can you give me a call tonight once you're back home? Everything's okay. Just missing you."

Everything wasn't okay, but as far as there being no life threatening emergency going on, that was true.

It was around 8:30 when her phone rang. Connie had the television on but couldn't concentrate. So as soon as the phone rang, she muted it and answered the call.