Sleepwalking

"I'd love to."

They picked up their glasses then moved to the L-shaped sofa where Matt sat kind of catty-corner to Connie so they could chat and still look at each other.

After a few more minutes of small talk, Matt said, "Connie? May I ask you a personal question?"

"Yes. Of course."

"I guess I'm a little bit curious as to why you stayed with Alan so long. You mentioned you didn't love him, and it's not like you couldn't find anyone else."

Matt smiled then said, "You're a very beautiful woman."

She smiled back then told him, "You have this way of making my heart go pitter patter."

"And here I was wondering if I was the only one who got that feeling every time we're together."

Connie laughed nervously then said, "You're not. Trust me. And as to Alan, well...I've wondered that myself many, many times. The best answer I have is that security must have been more important to me than love. It's not a very good answer, but it is honest."

Matt thought for a moment then said, "It's actually a very good answer. People marry and stay married—or in relationships—for different reasons. I was thinking that perhaps it was just...comfortable."

"Comfortable. That's the perfect word to describe it. There was never any passion, and I never loved him. But it was very comfortable."

"What was it that made you finally walk away from being comfortable?" Matt asked in a polite way.

Now it was Connie who needed to think before answering.

"I'd say that it got to a point where I was afraid that I'd spend the rest of my life...sleepwalking...and never know the feeling of being in love again. It took time for the concern to build up enough to cause me to act, but at some point, I couldn't take it anymore."

"I'm personally very happy that you did act," Matt told her in a way that made her shiver in that good kind of way again.

"Me, too," she told him before asking why he hadn't remarried yet.

"Oh, gosh. I've thought it about a hundred times over the years. I think that it has something to do with feeling cheated. Or maybe an underlying fear that anyone else I fell that hard for could also be taken from me. I know that's irrational, but I don't have any other way to explain it."

"That's not irrational, Matt. It makes perfect sense. You find that special someone you love with all your heart and who loves you back the same way, and then...she's gone. Or in my case, he was gone. Regardless, the sense of loss is profound, and the feeling that you'll never meet anyone else like them is very strong."

Matt was not only taking in every word, he was looking at her. And he wasn't just looking. It was as if he could 'see into her soul', and Connie felt like he could. It was such a powerful feeling that she had to look away when she finished talking just as Matt began to speak.

"And then, one day, when you least expect it, you meet someone in a place where you have no expectation of meeting anyone. And that person turns your whole world upside down in the best kind of way."

Connie knew he meant her, and as that realization sank in, she found herself wanting to be with him to a degree she hadn't experienced in so long she'd forgotten how strong the urges could be.

She was searching for the words she wanted to say in response, but before she could find them, Matt slid over and around the armrest between them and sat beside her.

"That certain someone would be you," he told her as he reached up and gently brushed back her hair.

Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure Matt could hear it as she slowly turned her head to look at him.

"I'm falling for you, Connie," he said very quietly as their eyes met.

"I...I may have already fallen for you," she whispered back.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me," Matt said as he pulled to him and pressed his lips against hers.

The kiss started out soft and slow, and as the passion grew, Connie offered him the tip of her tongue. Matt did the same, and in a matter of moments, their tongues were swirling and dancing as she pulled him down on top of her.

Matt wanted to make love to her but had no desire to ruin things by pushing too hard too fast. But when Connie took his hand and placed on her breast and squeezed it, he knew.

"Are you sure?" he asked, just to be sure.

"I've never been more sure," she told him as she began unbuttoning his shirt.

His jacket hit the floor followed by his shirt, and that's when Connie said, "Not here, okay?"

Matt got up, took her hand, and helped her up. They held one another and kissed as he unzipped her dress and let it fall to the floor. She took his hand and led him to her bedroom where she finished undressing him as she marveled at his hard, young body and prayed he wouldn't be to critical of hers.

Once they were both fully unclothed, he stepped back a few inches and looked at her.

"You are so amazingly beautiful."

Connie's head was spinning with thoughts about how she felt even as she wondered how he could possibly say that let alone believe it. And yet he did, and somehow she allowed herself to believe that he did.

"No, it's you who is so amazing," she told him. "You're so young and hard and...handsome...that I feel like I'm doing something...illegal."

She had no idea Matt could sing, but he was actually pretty good. Or so she learned when he smiled and quietly sang, "If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right!"

Those words were the icing on the romantic cake, and at that point, she was hopelessly gone.

"Make love to me, Matt. Please?" she nearly begged as she pulled him close and felt him grow hard against her.

She backed up toward the bed then again pulled him on top of her as he began exploring her body with his lips, tongue, fingers, and a very large...part of him...she couldn't wait to take in her mouth and then inside of her.

She moaned softly as he rang every bell a woman can have rung and came as hard as she ever had after he spent just a short amount of time with the 'boy in the boat'. She then pushed him over and returned the favor, but stopped before he lost control. When she felt he was at the brink, she stopped, climbed up on top of him, then reached for him as they looked into one another's eyes. She pulled him inside of her then began rocking back and forth as he filled her.

She came a second time as she ground against him. By the time they finished, they'd been in nearly every position most couples ever try, and Connie had come four times, two more than she had in any lovemaking session in her entire life.

As she lay in his arms she said, "You see. It really is you who's the amazing one."

"So no complaints?" he asked with a smile.

"Complaints? Are you kidding me?"

"You cum a lot, don't you," he teased.

"I guess I do," she replied. "I had no idea I could even do that, but I guess when you're with the right person..."

Matt placed his hand on her cheek then smile again and said, "You're the right person, Connie."

She put hers on his face then said, "And you're the right person for me."

"I honestly thought I'd never meet anyone who could make me feel like this again," he told her quietly.

"That's exactly what I was about to say," she said as she raised up so she could look at him.

"Come here," Matt said as he pulled on top of himself.

"With pleasure!" she replied with a happy little laugh. "And when you say...come...do you mean..."

Matt laughed a normal laugh, and when he did, Connie laughed just as loudly.

"I don't ever want this to end," Matt told her as she again pulled him inside of her.

"Me, either, Matt."

****

Two Weeks Later

"Matt. Hi, and welcome," Mackenzie said as she invited him inside her home. "This is my husband, Robert."

The two men shook hands as Connie hugged her daughter then her son-in-law before the men walked away talking about the baseball season or something like that.

"Mom, when you said Matt is hot, I...I had no idea!"

"You saw him at the reception, honey."

"Yes, but I'd just gotten married, and there was no man on earth more attractive to me than my new husband," Mackenzie said in her defense.

"He is kind of hot, huh?" her mother agreed with a huge smile on her face.

"He's freakin's gorgeous!"

"He is. But he's also as nice as he is handsome," Connie told her daughter.

"Well, I'm very glad to finally meet him. And by the smile on your face, I'm guessing you're pretty happy about having met him, too."

Her mother told her she was as they began heading toward the living room where the two men were still debating something sport related and drinking a beer.

"Don't worry about us," Mackenzie told her husband. "We can get our own drinks."

Robert leaned Matt's way a bit then said, "How long have we been married and she's nagging at me already?"

Matt watched Mackenzie's face, and when she laughed, he did, too, as Connie followed her daughter into the kitchen.

Mackenzie poured them both a glass of white wine then asked her mom how serious this was.

"I'd say...very."

"Oh. Wow."

"I know we really kind of just met, but well, I'm not sure how to explain this, but...I...I really like him, honey."

Her daughter was both listening and watching. She knew her mother well enough to read her, and when she finished answering her question said, "You love him, don't you?"

Connie looked toward Matt who was still deep in conversation with Robert. Knowing he couldn't them, she said, "I think I do."

"Does he love you, too, Mom?"

"Neither one of us has said the 'L' word, but I'm pretty sure he does."

"Yeah? Then I'm happy for you."

"Really?" her mom asked.

"Yes. Really. I don't understand the age thing, but if both of you are okay with it, then it doesn't matter. All that does matter is that my mom is happy again. And I can tell just by listening to you that you are."

"I am, honey. I really, really am."

By the time Connie and Matt got ready to leave, both Robert and Mackenzie knew the 'mismatched' couple was in love even if they didn't.

"Could you every marry a guy that young?" Robert asked once they were alone. "You know, if...I died?"

Mackenzie snuggled up with him then said, "I don't ever want to find out. Losing my dad was bad enough. I can't imagine losing my husband."

"You didn't answer my question," Robert said with a smile.

"Well. I suppose if someone as handsome as Matt was that interested in me..."

"Hey! You're supposed to say, 'No, honey. I could never love anyone else'," Robert told her as though he'd just been offended.

"Oh. Okay. So we're already at the stage where we lie to each other?" Mackenzie teased back.

"Bitch," Robert hissed causing his wife to laugh.

"Like you wouldn't be all over some hot, young girl if I died."

"Well, yeah. But...it's different for guys," her husband said as though that was intuitively obvious.

"I see. So when I'm the one who's initiating sex, are you saying I'm...weird?"

He knew that his wife was every bit as interested in lovemaking as he was, if not more, so he surrendered without a fight.

"Nope. I love your...initiative," he told her.

"So if I was to, say..."

The moment her hand slid across his lap, Robert knew where this was going.

"Okay. Come on. If you need to be satisfied, let's get this done!" he said, keeping up the 'this is such a chore' schtick.

"Ha! You know you want me," she teased as they headed to the bedroom.

When they got there, Robert said as seriously as he could, "You better not be imagining Matt!"

Mackenzie laughed then told him she couldn't make that promise.

"Bitch!" her husband said again before telling her, "you know he's going to be your stepdad, right?"

Mackenzie stood there and looked at him then said, "Oh, great. Way to kill the mood. Now I don't even want to do this."

Robert pushed her onto the bed and said, "Yeah, right," as he squeezed her left breast which was always enough to start her engine.

"Okay. Fine. You win!" she told him as they both laughed before the pleasure began.

"So what did you think?" Connie asked as they drove back to her house.

"I like them both," Matt said without hesitation.

"Robert's definitely a man's man."

"He's a Pacer's fan, and in my book, that's good enough," Matt joked, referring to Indiana's professional basketball team.

"Speaking of the Pacers, are you ever going to take me to one of their games?" Connie asked.

"Wait. You like NBA basketball?"

"Not really, but I do like staying in a nice hotel with a man who's as good a lover as you are," she told him as she tried not to smile.

"I hope that's not all you like about me," Matt replied as though he was hurt.

"Well, let's just say it's one of the many things I like about you. And it doesn't hurt that you remind me of the guy in the TV series "Hung."

Matt looked over at her and when she couldn't hold it in any longer, he laughed with her.

The main character in that show was a high school history teacher and basketball coach in Detroit whose wife left him for a mousy doctor. He then lost his house in a fire and his ex-wife wouldn't let the kids come over. Deeply in debt, he was trying to find a way to make more money when he said to himself one day, "The only asset I have is a big dick."

And with that, Detroit's newest gigolo was born, and the money started rolling in.

"So you're saying I have a really big..."

"Yes. That's what I'm saying," Connie told him before he could say the other word.

"Gee. And here I thought you were getting ready to tell me you love me or something."

Matt was clearly teasing, but Connie stopped laughing and it got very quiet.

"Hey. I was only trying to..."

"I do love you," she said very quietly.

"Connie, you don't have to say that just because I was kidding around."

"I...I'm not, Matt. I do love you."

He looked over at her, and when he did, he knew.

"I love you, too, honey," he told her as he reached for her hand.

"I know," she said very sweetly as she squeezed his hand. "But I love hearing you say it."

"Yeah. Me, too," Matt told her.

They, too, made love that night, and as Connie lay there awake long after Matt drifted off, she realized that she was now no longer sleepwalking. She was wide awake again and happier than she'd been in at least 30 years. She turned over on her side and ran a finger over her younger lover's chest and wondered how she'd ever gotten so lucky to feel this way at this point in her life.

The 'how' wasn't really that important. All that mattered was that it had happened. Fate or luck or some other thing had brought them together, as she'd learned before, there were no guarantees in life. But as she'd learned very recently life sometimes brought an unexpected level of happiness that was hard to imagine. Yes, it was possible that something could go very wrong, but she was determined not to let the past or her fears about the future dictate how she felt.

For whatever reason, this handsome, kind, thoughtful, younger man was in love with her, and she was also in love with him. Her daughter was married and happy, and as she watched Matt breathe, Connie felt like she might just be the happiest woman on earth.

*****

Matt proposed to her three months later, and without the slightest hesitation, Connie said 'yes'. But when he slid the enormous ring on her finger, it made her realize they'd never really talked about money. That was true partly because it was rude to ask and partly because she didn't care. But this ring had to be unbelievably expensive.

"Honey, it's beautiful," she told him as she looked at it admiringly. "But how can you...how can we...afford this when I'm so far in the hole?"

Matt explained to her something he'd never shared with anyone before, and once she knew where his money came from she was even more overcome with emotion.

"I...I almost feel like...like this ring, this...symbol of our love...was..."

When Matt saw his fiancé tearing up, he stopped her.

"Like Casey gave her life for it?" he gently offered.

"Yes," Connie said as tears of joy mixed with sadness began to fall.

"She gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country, that's for sure. But I can promise you, she would approve of us, and were she able to, she'd tell you not to ever think like that."

"Do you really think so?" she asked, needing to know the answer.

"Yes. In fact...I know so."

"You are such an amazing man, honey," Connie told him as her fiancé offered her a tissue.

"No. No, I'm not. I...I just got lucky. That could have been me at any time during the year I spent in Iraq. But it was Casey, and she was a truly amazing person."

Connie finished drying her eyes then said, "Yes she was," as she put her arms around the man she loved, again overwhelmed with emotion at the sacrifice so many had made. She'd never supported the war, but she had always supported those who went and fought and especially those who came home missing arms or legs or, like Casey—worse.

The fact that it had taken the death of her husband and Matt's wife to bring them together wasn't lost on Connie. And with that thought, she realized that what Matt had just said applied to her late husband, as well. He would want her to be happy, and Matt Reynolds was the only other man who'd ever done that.

So as she let go of the man she now loved, she kissed him, told him she loved the ring, and that she loved him, too.

******

No one who really knew them asked why they were getting married less than a year after they met. There was no need to ask, because any of those people would say that the difference in both of them before and after they met was profound. Neither had been depressed in any kind of clinical sense, but both of them were just going through the motions.

One study of people between the ages of 25 and 34 reported that, on average, people dated for an average of five years before tying the knot. But very few people, or at least a very tiny percentage, have lost their spouse to death. And even fewer never seem to recover from it. But these people exist, and while they may hold out hope that one day they'll find the kind of love they once had, the longer it takes the more it begins to feel like that will never happen.

For Matt and Connie Reynolds, time wasn't the issue. What mattered was the intensity of the feelings they shared for each other, and both of them knew that the intensity was directly related to their belief that they'd finally found the person they'd given up hope of ever finding.

Their wedding was small and private with just a handful of their closet friends and families coming together to celebrate their love and happiness. Even then there were whispered mentions of the large difference in their ages, but to a person, no one cared because they all knew that any marriage could fail for any number of reasons. But in this case, the love between the bride and groom was unlike any they had ever seen, and again, to a person, everyone of them hoped and even believed that these two could make it.

Ten years later, several of those same people saw the end of their own marriages, but Matt and Connie were not only still married but even more deeply in love.

Connie's greatest fear was growing old and no longer being attractive to her much younger husband. He knew how she felt, and while he never dismissed her feelings, Matt made sure to not only tell her but show her (and show her often), just how beautiful he still thought she was.

His greatest fear was also her getting older, but it had nothing to do with not loving her for any reason let alone something as shallow as her appearance. It was, understandably, the fear that having found a second woman to love with all of his heart, that she would taken from him, too.

But what they both realized is that life was a gift and that each day needed to be lived to its fullest. That day was the day to tell the other person how special they were, how much they were loved, and how much they meant. And in spite of those inner fears everyone has, Matt and Connie did everything they could to say and do those sorts of things each and every day, because even worse than their personal fears might be, the fear of sleepwalking through life again—even for one day—was far worse than any other fear, real or imagined.