All Comments on 'Spending Christmas on the Road'

Sweet little story, Mr. Not. Write another, please. Randi.

Loving Wives, this is how you do it.

Love those coincidences!

5

A sweet seasonal tale, thank you for posting it.

The best story in over a year. That would make a good movie.

MC is not at all familiar with the rules of first aid to a pretty unconscious girl. It would not hurt to inspect and lightly massage the left right side of the chest, as well as mouth-to-mouth and mouth-to-pussy artificial respiration. This allows you to study more closely the physiological features of the pretty victim, examine and probe most of the delightful body for injuries, improves blood circulation, increases body temperature and pulse, increases the chances of bringing the beautiful patient to consciousness as soon as possible.

Great story. A lot more romance then LW. But that's fine. 5stars

Nice, heart-warming story for the Christmas season. 5 stars.

The quicky marriage was a bit much, and how they resolved living in different cities was never mentioned.

They got married too quickly, and even with the complexes of a "knight in shining armor" and a "girl in trouble".

MC say: "If Mandy is half the woman you are I'll be happy for the rest of my life." Oh wait, man, also 3-4 years old, as was the case with Cindy and then we'll see. A school is certainly not a hospital with rich and assertive doctors. However, the great writers of the site "Literotica" more than once threw the hearts and pussies of loving and faithful wives at the mercy of some tall and muscular football coach, or a romantic and sophisticated literature teacher, or an imperious and imposing new school principal... And much more stable, meaningful, verified and full-fledged marriages were broken into small fragments.

Nice Christmas story.

Interesting story, but having a second set of eyes look over your story would help.

A Christmas story.

uhm...

ok I love it when everything turned out all right.

though not much drama nor conversation.

the description of his drive to his brother's house

was unnecessarily more lengthy than any conversation he had with humans.

thanks Hopenot.

/

the usual non-cuck diet today.

out of seven stories only this one is not a cuck story.

Kinda weird.

Not sure anyone would feel up to sex right after a severe head injury, but that's nitpicky. Nicely done!

Great!

Sappy. I loved it. Thanks. D

I‘m‘a sucker fo Christmas happy endings and yours was very nice.

Merry Christmas to ya too.

Captcha

Loved it, thank you.

Cute little story.

Sweet story! thanks for sharing!

Good love story

Good story, please keep it up. There are not many new writers who start out this well in this category.

Hey! A romantic Christmas story! Good job! 5* and another writer to look out for,

Very touching

Merry Christmas!

Damn allergies.

5⭐️. Great story. Loved it.

The concept of the story was good, but the words seemed forced at times. It felt jerky, but still a 4 star story!

WONDERFUL STORY! Hopefully, Cindy dies alone. If Randi tells you to write another, please do it, because she's the BEST!

I mean this to be constructive, I swear.

First, when I can skim half of the story and not be confused as to what’s happening in the slightest… you’ve gotten too bogged down in minutae.

Second, giant blocks of monologue make it seem less like a story, and more like reading someone’s diary.

Definite potential here though, so keep working on it.

A lovely story. Now we need a New Years one as well.

Seconding blackrandi's comment. With Christmas only 5 days away, stories such as this add strength to the first part of your pen-name. Hopeso. MLJ

Great little story. Heartwarming and well written

5 stars - I liked this story.

Nice little twist at the end. I liked the story.

Your best story by far. Congratulations five stars.

This is a romance, not loving wives

Great story, but should be in the Romance section, not the Loving Wives. Just sayin'

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Good one!

Nice. Great writing and sweet sex.

nice romance. Glad they found each other.

A really well told Christmas story. I wish something like that to everyone who is looking for it!

Nice. Cute little upbeat Christmas story.

Hooked

Merry Christmas! 5*

Good short story. Liked the way it kept flowing and how just the right amount of backstory was woven throughout the tale, instead of being one long and monotonous block of drivel.

I thought this was GREAT, especially for someone writing their 4th story !

It was a "5" for me..

Well done, and I look forward to reading more of your work...

EastCoaster

Aw, that was really sweet. Nicely done!

Nice little Hallmark story, but this should be in Romance, not a section about wife sharing and swinging.

When one paragraph ends with a quotation mark and the very next one starts with a mark, that indicates the character speaking has changed. This is not open for debate. That's how punctuating dialogue in English works.

.

When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark.

Nice story, but dialogue gets confusing when you keep closing the quotes on a paragraph, only to have the same speaker continue speaking in the next paragraph. It helps the reader to seamlessly follow the dialogue. 3/5.

I love a happy ending

Thanks for writing

That was refreshing! Such a great antidote to all the cucky shit drowning this forum so often.

.

5 *****

A great Romance story. Why is it in Loving Wives? His wife and his ex marriage had nothing to do with this story. Keep writing and improving your skills, but be more honest about the main focus of your plot. Just because a story includes people who are or used to be married doesn't make it a Loving Wives story. Thanks for the effort.

Corny, but fun. Enjoyed it without fussing over the silly supernatural explanation. 4*

That was a tragedy turned into an inspiration . Uplifting and enjoyable , glad I read it . You eared the five stars in every aspect of this delightful little tale !

What is a Christmas story without a grinch? I volunteer. A sweet story, but where is it LW. Main Character’s (AKA Hubby) Ex only appeared in a dream! And his solution with Cindy was about as woosey as it comes. It certainly is unlikely that Mandy will ever be any less dedicated to Hubby than SiL is for his brother! So there is no real LW in this LW Xmas offering! The twist of Mandy being SiL’s bestie is kinda useless. Since she is a local, she would have to have gotten to the 2-car blockage but she would also have known that getting on the road Hubby chose would have been a terrible idea!

4*. but HopeNot used ‘past’ for his first ref. to Dad’s demise, but then corrected it to ‘passed’ for all the rest!

Pretty good. Thanks.

Two suggestions: First, you told us two or three times about the Dad’s death a couple of times and Cindy’s telling Nick she had found someone else. If you’re going to bring something up a second or third time, there needs to be some additional information or further development. Otherwise you’re just repeating yourself.

Second, you introduced tension about the kids’ delayed presents and the importance of the family being together this year, but then you just dropped those and didn’t describe their arrival, the family’s relief that they’re OK, and the kids getting their presents. I wouldn’t create those tensions if you aren’t going to narrate, even briefly, their resolutions.

Great story, just perfect for the season.

Nice story at Christmas time, well done. If only something like this would happen to the older generation that could use it and needs it. At 58, wife left for another man after 30 years of marriage, not even a hint it was happening. Wish I could find a woman like this in my life now to enjoy everything with, except my small cock had nothing to offer them.

Would be a lot better without the creepy coveting of his own brother's wife.

More of a Romance story than LW, but warmed my heart and his plea to his deceased father brought tears to my eyes. Well done! 5*

If her car had plenty of gas,why don't they stay in it.Also,how come his brother had any one look for him,when he didn't arrive.

very sweet excellent story merry xmas

What a great Christmas story!

Thanks for the cheer!

Such a cute story line. Gave you a 5 because I'm a. First Class Sucker for a happily ever after; given the ugliness of the world today.

nitpic: her car was turned over and the windows were busted out. yeah this was a good romance story

Excellent, clever Christmas tale, well told. Thank you 🎄👋🏾🤙🏿

Sometimes I read the comments (Usually, I try to avoid reading the comments to preserve my sanity). When I deign to read them, it’s never fails, I always walk away shaking my head,as in this instance. I try to reserve my comments for the authors who deserve them because of their efforts. But here I just can’t help myself. People, if you’re going to make critical comments like @Nitpick below, at least try to demonstrate that you’ve actually read AND understood the story. Basic reading comprehension, you know. Hey@nitpick, you idiot, you ask why they didn’t just get in Mandy’s car to warm up if it had gas? A duh, perhaps because it was testing upside down in a ravine with all of its windows smashed out, a duh ! Anymore dumb comments you’d like to Nitpick about dumb ass?

You seem rather confused as to how/when/why to use quotation marks.

Not a LW story.

Lovely story.

.... The rational part of my brain cannot help pointing out how tremendously dumb it would be to marry someone less than five days after meeting, especially if she was unconscious for two of those days!

But hey... it's definitely romantic. Tremendously dumb, yet romantic. And it seems to have worked up fine.

Way worst stories out there, in the genre. Nothing wrong with a little fantasy.

TY for the wonderful tale.

A wonderful Christmas story thank you for writing it!5*

What's with you & BJ's. 90% of women, especially married ones HATE giving BJ's. Read the stats, & quit writing like a porn director.

Nicely done.

However, I did become distracted as it seemed that they were in life-threatening conditions (and without medical care) long enough to threaten their survival. Maybe you know more about that than I, but be careful to keep things believable. And, not to be a grinch, but, if they had both been at Kathy’s house on Christmas Eve, wouldn’t they have met anyway?

Bah Humbug!!!

Nice story, has the makings of a Hallmark movie. Enjoyed the read, thanks for writing ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

More contrived force and incredibly stupid story writing .

weather forecast for major snow storms are not off by thirty six hours

Well done indeed. You’ve crafted an evocative story/plot line that has a big space in it for a reader to interject his or her own traumatic experiences. Btw: I read Harryin VA’s comments and I realized that some of us seem to have an evaluation process that to me is utterly incomprehensible in the extreme. Maybe it’s the water in his area of VA?

Really good.

A great Christmas story to read in the middle of a southeast heat wave. This one reminds me of the guy that picks up a woman who had been riding a bicycle and had been hit on the side of the road. I won't spoil the ending and (since I don't remember who the author was) but it was a Christmas miracle! Good job, presented with the right frame of mind and a strong heart!

Did she ever get the tight whites off her head?

Great story. Nice twist with them both going to the same place

That old ‘you need to be naked to share heat ‘ bullshit. I can just see all the old Antarctic explorers getting their kit off to stay warm.

Tremendous! Hit all the right notes with startling brevity and economy of words.

Yeah, cute story, but don't let the facts get in the way.

There are two other scenarios as to how this actually went down, because this story is impossible;

1. The whole thing was a hypothermia-induced dream, and they were both found on the day after Christmas frozen dead in the back seat of the rental.

or 2. Because both of them were expected to arrive at places that evening, search parties found them by 9:30AM on Christmas day.

REWRITE!!

Thanks for a delightful tale.

@ Anon with 2 alternate endings: There’s one in every crowd. A party pooper. A buzzkill. Don’t go away mad, just go away. Far away.

Hopenot, a good little short story, thanks for sharing. I’ll be checking out more of your work.

What a delightful christmas story! And I don't even like christmas! :) 5 stars, and thank you for enjoyable read.

I have read this story a few times, usually when I am depressed and always uplifts my mood.

Thanks for writing.

Thanks for a delightful and uplifting little love story! Well done!

Five stars. Nuff said.

JPB

Beautiful story, well done.