Stormfeather Ch. 12

So I got into my bed. It didn't take long for Anna to fall asleep. I waited then until I heard her breathing go deeper and then she began to snore. Anna has always snored so loud that it kept me from falling asleep a lot of nights, but there was nothing that I could ever do about it. That night, I couldn't wait for it, Ximena. I played with myself for hours. It felt so good."

Ximena moaned and her eyes closed for a second, but then they opened. She didn't feel badly about what she was doing at all right then. Sabrina was telling her the story because of what they seemed to share, and it made the whole thing rather delicious now. But still, she had to know more. "It, - it did? Why?"

"Well, I don't feel this way anymore, but at the time, I knew that I'd done something so awful that it surely must be a sin and I was stuck with it -- I could never tell the padre about it the next time that I went to confession. I'd just die then if I did that," Sabrina said looking off into space for a moment. She came back to herself and looked down, "It was bad enough as it was, every other time that I went to confession."

"What do you mean?" Ximena asked.

"Ever since I was about thirteen or fourteen, I always felt a little funny whenever I was there saying my confession to the padre for all of the usual things because even though the confessional is always dark, I always felt humiliated to tell of my sins -- and I'm old enough now to wonder why I did. I never did anything bad, Ximena. Sometimes I didn't have anything to confess, so I would tell a fib by admitting to telling a fib -- that had never happened. The whole thing is stupid for me. I've given up now; I'll let God decide what to do with me."

Sabrina noticed that Ximena now sat still, so she reached over and took Ximena's hand. "Keep going, Ximena," she said, "you look so beautiful like this."

The housekeeper looked for a moment and then she began to move her hand under the table again.

"Anyway," Sabrina smiled, "it felt so good to be playing with myself that night that it was almost as though I was doing my own penance- for me and nobody else. Because even though she's my own sister, and I'd never even thought about doing anything like that -- and I sure didn't want to, ..."

Sabrina shrugged, still smiling, "I realized that I liked doing that. I just hate my sister for making me do it that way, and I hated how her bush was so thick. But I did like it, Ximena, because I was forced to do that for her. What my brother did was even worse."

Ximena's fingers were already flying again, but her eyes opened in surprise at that point, "What? -- Wha-?"

"The two of them had been fooling around carefully with each other for a few years by then. I knew it, but I didn't tell on them because you're supposed to love your brother and sister. That's what I was told when I was little. I didn't tell on them because I loved them, but it got me nothing, and they told lies about me all the time. They had so much fun watching me being punished for what they did and then blamed me for.

I don't love them anymore. I loathe the two of them. I am angry with my parents. They never believed anything that I said -- they just took my sister's word as though she could be trusted, and they never allowed me to even speak of anything that I wanted to do when I grew up, as though I was not supposed to ever manage anything for myself.

That's what made me decide to come with Amy and Arn on such short notice. It's the real reason that I said what I did to Amy. I'm never going back there, no matter what. I don't care what I have to do, Ximena -- I'm never going home ever again. I found out that I like to do certain things, and I can even see that there really isn't all that much wrong -- if anything that I did was. I just don't want to do that for them. If it's supposed to feel good, well I like that, but not to be forced by people who are supposed to love me. Not by my family. I'd rather do that for someone who cares about me.

Anna told Enrique what had happened as soon as he got home, and not long after, the first chance he got, he made me suck him until he squirted that stuff of his into my mouth while Anna watched at the door. I couldn't swallow it all, and I had to try, he said, or he would slap me harder than Anna ever could. I did my best, but it got everywhere -- even in my hair. He showed me how to slide my hand on him there and when he got it hard again, he -- "

"My god," Ximena gasped, "he didn't..."

"In my ass," Sabrina nodded, "every time. He knew that he was hurting me and he didn't care. He didn't dare do it in my front, because I might get pregnant, and anyway, I'd lose my virginity that way. It's a little hard to explain that away if I've never been anywhere but at home, isn't it? I couldn't even go to confession alone. Papa always had Enrique take me, so who else could it possibly be if not him? So he'd always fuck me in my ass, and he was always mean about it. He made it hurt so bad.

Sometimes my parents would go to visit with relatives, and then both of them would use me, sometimes at once. Enrique loved to hold my head so that my face was against Anna's bush tightly and I had to lick her while they kissed each other, or he'd fuck me while Anna forced me to lick her at the same time. Other times, Anna would hold her tits together so that he could slide his thing between them, and when he was finished, I was the one who had to clean her up with my tongue while he slapped my ass so that it was red."

Ximena was so near the edge now. Sabrina smiled as she watched her work. She leaned her head on her hand and smiled for a moment because she could see that Ximena had liked to hear it all. She quietly stood up and stepped over to Ximena, who watched her come to her. Sabrina touched Ximena's head very softly and bent down a little, sliding her hand into Ximena's dress and over one of her breasts as Ximena gasped.

As her fingers found Ximena's nipple, she looked into the other woman's eyes, "I hate them all for it," she said almost absently, "though I am glad that hearing it makes you this excited. That makes me happy. I'm so glad that I'm away from there and that I've found you, since I think that we can have a lot of fun doing this the right way, Ximena. I really hope so. I never, ever told either of them, but after a while I loved every second of what they did to me. I just never showed it to them. It felt so good once I got used to it, and if I got the chance to ease my conscience to myself alone in my bed afterwards, I was happy then."

She kissed Ximena, more because she was a kindred soul than anything else just as she squeezed her nipple. Ximena's moan went into Sabrina's mouth. The sound still came through her nose, but it didn't matter. They were quiet about it as she held her new friend tightly until they'd ridden through Ximena's shuddering together.

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They slowed to a trot as they neared the river. Winky panted, but didn't seem too much the worse for wear as she looked at them, feeling as though they had all shared something special. She loved to be included in anything that they could all do together and that was easily seen in her expression.

"What now?" Amy asked.

"We wait here for a moment until Winky has her breath," he said, "and I want you to tell me now -- what can you hear?"

Amy listened, trying to filter out Winky's panting, "I hear crickets and katydids," she said, "I can hear the night birds."

"And?"

"And I can hear a lot of little things scratching in the dirt, field mice, I think, coming out to look for food in the dark." She paused, listening carefully. "There is a family of raccoons not far from here. Over that way," she pointed, "How's that?"

"Good enough," Arn smiled for a moment, "but do you hear anything that you should not be hearing?"

Amy thought for a moment, "No."

"Correct," he said, "Often it is what you should not be hearing when and where you are that signals danger." He pointed to their companion, "She is listening just as you were now. She always listens, and then she tests the smell of the breeze. I think that you already know that there are wild roses not far off, and nothing much of anything more. You need to test the wind as well."

He looked across the water, "The stream here appears slow, but I do not wish for Winky to get into trouble when she swims across."

"I don't know if I want to swim across either," Amy commented quietly as she put her arm around his waist.

"You will not have to," Arn grinned, "unless you do not believe that you are what you are now." He pointed across from where they stood, "That looks to be an island."

"It is," she remembered, "It's not much more than a sandbar that's grown up enough for grasses to grow on it."

"But the sand there is solid?" he asked.

"Yeah," Amy replied, "I've ridden across on Ruby and used it as a stepping stone to get to the other bank before. The current is slow here, but it's narrower on the other side and it flows a lot faster there. It's about sixty feet to the island sand from here. About thirty-five from the opposite bank to the far shore."

Arn nodded, stepping back a little. He ran toward the bank and jumped with a bounding leap to land on the sand of the small island. Winky stared for only a moment before she ran into the stream and began to swim to him. She waded onto the shore, shook herself off, and Arn fussed over her for a minute.

Amy stood astounded. "Hellfire," she said, "I can do that?"

"I hope so," he smiled, "you would make a poor traveler otherwise."

Amy muttered a curse under her breath at the way that he was standing there, as though it ought to be as nothing to her to jump clear across that water. She turned to walk back to where she'd seen him begin his run. It didn't look long enough, so she walked back a little more and looked again.

"Well Holy Humphrey," she said to herself as she remembered Sabrina's expression. Amy drew a breath and ran. When she got near to the spot from where Arn had jumped, Amy tried to shift her stride a little. Her leap was as strong as she could make it, though she knew that she'd lost a little momentum for her adjustment. The dark night-time horizon shifted for a moment as she gained altitude. And then as she reached the apex of her leap, she groaned inwardly.

She watched the water rising toward her.

Winky ran to the water's edge, peering out into the darkness where she'd seen Amy land. The stream had closed over Amy and the signs of her splash were gone in an instant. The river smoothed out and just flowed on as though nothing had happened.

Arn waited, looking at the water. After about ten seconds, he began to grow a little concerned. He didn't know what the bottom there was like and wondered if she'd hit her head on a rock. He took a step forward.

Amy shot out of the river, clearing Winky by about three feet to crash right onto Arn's chest, bowling him over backward. She hung onto what she could of him and they tumbled back in a large ball to stop in the tall grasses with her straddling his chest. As their combined motion stopped, she found herself bent over him for just an instant with her chest against his face. As she sat up, he looked up into her glowing eyes and listened to her deep breaths as she drew air in.

"You -- " she gasped with her ribs heaving, "You're gonna pay for that."

He chuckled, "You changed your stride as you jumped."

"I don't care," she grinned down at him evilly as she dripped onto him, "You knew that I'd do that, didn't you?"

He shook his head, smiling, "No."

"Then why are you grinning at me like that?" she asked with a low growl.

"I did not know that you would do that," he smiled, "I only hoped that you would."

"Well you got your wish," she snarled quietly, pulling some form of aquatic plant life off her snout to discard it. "That's why it's gonna cost you."

She slid herself forward on him and reached for his head, "And right here is where you start paying."

Winky watched for a minute before she turned away to make certain that they were alone here and unobserved. She looked off into the darkness as far as she could see, turning her head a little as she did, trying to hear sounds which might be a little out of the ordinary in a place like this.

She saw nothing and heard only the occasional soft sigh from Amy.

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When Sabrina pulled away to stand up, she found Ximena smiling at her a little. The housekeeper slid her arm around Sabrina's neck and pulled her down a little to hug her. "My god, Sabrina," she whispered, "I'm so confused now. But I know that I like this," she said as she kissed the smaller woman's cheek and let her go.

"Please sit down again," she said as she stood up and straightened her dress, "I find that I love talking with you, and I think that we'll be left to ourselves for the rest of the evening, so we can do that. Unless a war breaks out or the old place bursts into flames, I'm off at nine."

She stepped away and returned to fill their goblets with wine again. "I'm so happy that Maeve seems to be better -- almost as though nothing had happened at all. And I know the old girl very well, Sabrina. In about another day, she'll deny that anything was wrong with her at all. I could already see the beginning of that when I was up there."

She took out a saucepan, went to the ice box and poured from a pitcher of milk. Setting it on the stove, she took out a bottle and set that on the counter. "Maeve likes her warm milk at this time of night to help her drift off to sleep." Noticing Sabrina's gaze at the bottle, Ximena flashed a tiny grin, "For as long as I've been the housekeeper here," she said, "old Maeve has insisted on a tipple of brandy in her warm milk every night -- and you ought to see the way that she winks when she asks for it and says that it's for medicinal purposes."

"Now where were we?" she asked Sabrina.

"I was going to ask you if you've ever had anything happen to you like what happened to me," Sabrina said.

Ximena shook her head, "No, I can't say that I have, really. Not like that. About the closest thing was my being so naive and innocent when I was a lot younger. I fell in love with a boy and I thought that we would get married and live happily like in the tales that I was told as a child. He told me that he loved me and I believed him."

She sighed and shook her head, "I was such a young fool. I gave him everything I had, I went to bed with him, and after giving him that, I watched as he went his way as though it meant nothing to him -- because it didn't. He told a friend, and that began it in that little place. Where I grew up, word like that getting around ruined my reputation in a day, and in three, even my parents had heard of it. The yelling and screaming that I had to endure, and how it hurt me when my mother slapped me and what she said, ..."

"She slapped you right across your breasts, didn't she?" Sabrina asked quietly.

"Yes," the other woman stared, "How did you know that?"

Sabrina nodded, "That was where my mother always slapped me once I had anything there to slap. Go on, Ximena, as long as we're baring our souls to one another, I'm with you. We seem to be the same. I'd even bet that she called you a slut when she did that, too."

She watched as Ximena nodded, "That seemed to be my new name to my parents.

My aunt had worked here for Maeve for many years and she found a man who she wanted to retire with. She'd always loved me dearly since I was little, and when she'd heard what had happened, she was furious with her sister. She wasn't old, only in her early forties, but she'd saved about every nickel of her pay, and her man was rich himself. They were married and I still get postcards from them from the strangest places -- all over -- so I know that they're happy, and that's what I'm going to do myself one day.

In the meantime before she left, I was brought here to learn how to run this house and work in her place so that my parents could tell the lie that I'd married a man far from the village where I was born. I've never been back, and now that I'm older, if I ever laid eyes on them again, I'm pretty sure that I'd spit in their faces for what they'd put me through. I was upset enough and heartbroken as it was."

She looked toward the darkened window for a moment, "I guess that's when I found myself growing a little - excited. When they howled at me for days on end over what I'd done to ruin THEIR reputation by ruining my own."

She sighed, "And all that I'd done was fall in love and it didn't work for me." She shook her head, "Amy shot a man through the eye and she got away with it."

"I know," Sabrina said, "I was there that day, on the boardwalk across the street. I saw it all. She was about forty feet away from him and she warned him. Everybody heard it. He drew down on her and - " She made the motions of drawing a pistol, "Bang. Just like that."

She laughed, "When she comes into Portales now, all she has to do is have that old cannon strapped to her leg. If her hand even brushes against it, Ximena, everybody just begins to back away."

Ximena nodded, and looked at the pan. She stirred the milk a little and took the pan off the stove for a moment while she carefully poured some brandy into a large ceramic tankard.

"I'm a little afraid," Sabrina admitted, "I mean, I don't want to look like a girl just off the farm here. You and Amy just look like a part of life in this place, but I feel ..."

"I know how you feel," Ximena said, "I felt just the same way when I first arrived here. I come from a tiny village. The feeling will pass, and you'll learn the fashions here. This is a great place for it, because Santa Fe has so much of our culture. Amy and I can help, so you needn't worry, and I'll show you the best stores and places around here."

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Winky had loved the game of chase as the three of them waded back from the little island to begin it in the grass along the shore. They thought that they could hide themselves from her nose, the thought came to her, but they couldn't. She'd know the scents of the other members of her little pack anywhere. It was even easier because of their mating just before.

But at the same time, Winky found that she couldn't get away from them either, though she tried. Sooner or later, one of them would come sniffing through the grasses no matter how carefully she'd tried to remain quiet and slink away. It always ended up in the same way that delighted her so much. Once one of them always found the one who was hiding, and they always ended up in a ball of happy tussling fur.

"Have I told you that I love you today?" Amy smiled as they stood near the tree where their clothing was hidden.

"Many times, Sheena," he replied as he held her to him, "and I never tire of hearing it or answering you. But I know that you say this now to avoid the next task that I will set for you."

Amy chuckled a little and nodded, "Well, I tried."

"Jump up now and hang onto the branch," he said, "Wait until you are not swinging at all, and pull yourself up so that you sit on the bough where our clothes are."

He looked up as Amy did as he asked, and he saw her smirk then as she took only her own clothes, setting his back on the bough before she jumped back down.

"Get your own," she smiled.

"I am not the one who said that I would need something else to wear in this place," he smiled back, "I am quite comfortable in a breech-cloth. Your great aunt might not approve but -- "

Amy landed again and threw his clothes in his face. "Fine," she said, "you've got a point."

They walked into the kitchen with Winky and Amy asked Ximena for a pitcher of wine. "Only about half-full, please. I don't know what he might turn into after a bit of that, so I'm going to play it safe."