Survivor's Remorse

I finally got my wits together enough to get into my Jeep and start driving. The freeways, according to my driving app were clogged, so I elected to take Woodward downtown.

Imagine my surprise, when a few moments later, the same charcoal gray Camaro pulled up next to me at a light. I looked down into the car from my Jeep's higher vantage point. All I could see was a pair of long tan legs. The face behind an oversized pair of sunglasses looked over at me. Before I could really concentrate on the features of that face, my long dead reflexes fired and I shot away from the light.

Her Camaro was much faster than my Jeep, although my Jeep, a blacked out 2014 Grand Cherokee SRT8 was no slouch. I had no intention of racing; those days were far behind me. They had cost me too much. I also had no intention of breaking the speed limit. If I were in the mind to race anyone, at any time, it definitely would not have been on Woodward, in Ferndale. The Ferndale police are simply too efficient when it comes to catching speeders.

Ferndale was also somewhat of a speed trap. The speed limit everywhere else down the broad avenue that went all the way from Jefferson Avenue on the banks of the river that separated Detroit, Michigan, USA from Windsor, Ontario, Canada, to faraway Pontiac, Michigan was at least 40 mph. In the tiny, three miles of Ferndale, the speed limit was only 35 and you had to drive nearly halfway through it before you saw that it was posted. They write a lot of tickets there.

Anyway, she had no problem fracturing the speed limit. She passed me before we hit the next light. She nodded over at me. She had a big smile on her face. The dark tan of her flawless skin contracted against very white teeth. Her lips were generous and there was something exotic about her face.

There was no way I would catch her napping twice. She looked away from me long before the light changed. She revved her engine and got ready.

I have no reason for doing what I did. But as soon as the light changed, my reflexes took over again. A fraction of a second after the light changed, I was already in motion. She was still on the process of slamming her foot down, but I was already moving. Her Camaro also had the problem of spinning its tires when she lead footed it. So once again I found myself getting a healthy jump on her.

Based on the fact that I used to be HER, or at least very much like her, I knew that she was pissed. When you add to that the fact that her tires shrieking as she took off had everyone in our block of traffic staring at her, the anger was even more clear.

She prided herself on her driving abilities and her car. We have already established that her car was faster than mine. But both of us knew that, had I been driving a car that was anywhere near her equal, I'd have beaten her twice. Her pride meant that it would not happen a third time.

Unfortunately, traffic was not on her side. Traffic in my lane was clear and hers was full of cars, so by the time we hit the next stop light, I drove through and she ended up getting caught by the light changing to red. I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. I also laughed bit thinking about her.

I made it to my destination without further incident. I parked in the huge lot in the rear of the building and checked a building map to find out where I was going. I found out that HR was located on the top floor of the building. Mr. Whittaker's office was also on that floor.

I walked over to the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor. Just as the doors started to close, I heard the footsteps of someone running for the elevator. I placed my hand between the closing doors to stop them from closing and halt the car.

My mouth dropped open as SHE stepped into the car. "Thanks," she said quickly and then she noticed who I was. Her expression of gratitude morphed into a wry smile as she recognized me.

"Okay, who are you and what are you doing in MY building?" she asked.

"Please tell me that you don't work in HR," I said, ignoring her question.

"I don't," she said. "Why don't you want me to work there?"

"Because that's where I'm going and you didn't seem to make that guy you raced against very happy this morning, so ... I was worried about being treated that way too," I said.

"Do you have any idea what we were racing for?" she smirked.

"Money?" I asked.

"Nope," she smiled.

"Pink slips?" I asked.

"Nope ... Something he wanted much more than that," she said. "Any guy who wants to date me has to beat me in a race. But I usually only give them three chances. After that we are clearly not compatible."

By the time she was done the elevator had reached our floor and we both got out. It almost seemed as if she wanted to say something else, but the opportunity was lost.

I went to HR and found that they didn't open until 9 a.m.

"Shit," I muttered.

"Not out here. We have a room at the end of the hall for that," said a voice from behind me. "What's the problem, Andretti?"

"I came in to fill out some paper work for my new job," I said.

"Ooh, a new employee. You can just wait until HR opens. Have them write a note to your new boss, to explain why you're late," she said. "We generally give new guys a bit of leeway on their first few days."

"I'm not a new guy," I said. "I just got a promotion and Mr. Whittaker told me to come here as soon as possible. I kind of wanted to take care of it early and get to work as close to on time as possible. I need to justify the faith he's showing in me."

"A promotion from what to what?" she asked.

"From engineer to engineering department manager as of today," I said nervously.

"Vee!" she smiled. "Congratulations!"

"How did you know that?" I asked.

"My feelings are really hurt now," she pouted. "You don't remember talking to me on the phone yesterday?"

"I'm sorry ... Uhm?" I began.

"Saraya," she supplied. "Actually it's Saraya Marie, but I suppose I'm lucky it's not Saraya Mary. A lot of Hispanic girls get Mary as a middle name."

It explained a lot.

"Yep, I'm Mexican," she smiled. "Does that mean you're falling out of love with me?"

"Not a chance," I said. "Wait a minute! Who said I was in love with you?"

"Please, Crazy boy. You haven't been able to take your eyes off of me since you first saw me," she grinned. As she said it a curtain of foamy black hair swirled around her face, temporarily obscuring it. Her thick, nearly waist length hair was a big part of her beauty.

"You do know that you can simply call HR and have them fax most of the papers to you and you can fax them back," she said. Anything that can't be faxed can always be messengered over to you or you could make arrangements to come over and fill out at a time that's more convenient for you," she said. "Mr. Whittaker ..." she smiled as she said his name. For some reason that pissed me off. She obviously had some kind of relationship with him that went beyond work. I was jealous.

I swear the woman was psychic, because she seemed to pick up on my feelings.

"Anyway," she continued. "He's kind of old school. So he doesn't think about faxing or doing things on the computer. I'll explain the situation to HR. They're going to need to see something on paper confirming you promotion anyway. I'll also let him know how hard you're working to justify ... What did you call it? ... His faith in you?"

"Thank you, Saraya," I said. Her name rhymed with Mariah. It felt good in my mouth. "Have a great day."

"Are you ready for your first big task?" she asked, keeping the conversation going. I was getting the idea that she didn't want our talk to end."

"What big task?" I smiled.

"Getting rid of that asshole, Darwin," she smiled.

"You don't like him?" I asked. "I thought all of you business types got along."

"He's cheesy and sneaky," she spat. "You weren't at the company picnic last year were you? That's probably why you don't remember when I decked him. He grabbed my ass on the sly and I just launched on him. I guess you were still happily married back then, right?"

My face folded up. What she'd just told me reminded me that she definitely had a relationship with Mr. Whittaker. I had told him about my divorce after working hours, but she already knew about it. They were definitely a thing. I couldn't blame him."

As I turned to go she spoke up again. "Vee ... I wish you had a faster car," she said, leaving me puzzled. "Delegate!" she threw in as a parting shot.

I got back across town in far less time than it had taken me to get there. Traffic going north was much less congested than traffic going into the city at that time of the morning. I was able to take the freeway and even though I stuck to the speed limit, it was much faster.

I was only ten minutes late. I went from office to office gathering the staff into our conference room. I told them all that it would be a quick impromptu meeting and it wouldn't take very long.

Our staff consisted of five engineers, eight CAD draftsmen, four shared secretaries, two assistants, two CNC programmer/operators, two clay modelers, Darwin and me.

Just as I got ready to speak, Darwin spoke to me. For the first time I noticed exactly what Saraya had been talking about.

"Vee, you were ten minutes late this morning," he pointed out. "You'd better be careful; I have to make a report to Frank when he gets back. He expects me to run a tight ship in his absence. But since this was the first time, I'll let it slide." I just nodded but I couldn't believe he was trying to break my balls in front of our coworkers.

"Okay, everyone," I began. "First off, I want to thank you all for pitching in and helping out for the past few days while Frank is in the hospital. And it's Frank that we're here to talk about, in a way. Sometimes things that we think are really bad luck turn out to be good luck in disguise.

While he's been hospitalized they did a lot of tests on Frank and discovered that he has Prostate Cancer. While they didn't catch it as early as they'd have liked, it's still very treatable. But Frank is going to be away for a lot longer than we thought. In fact when he returns, Mr. Whittaker has created a new position for him as kind of a liaison between all of the various departments and the board.

That was why I was a few minutes late this morning. I had a brief meeting last night with Mr. Whittaker and he had me go over to HR this morning..."

"Why did you have to go to HR?" interrupted Darwin.

"I have a bunch of paperwork to fill out, since I'll be taking Frank's place permanently," I said.

Everyone in the office started cheering and patting me on the back.

"The way I see it, nothing will change," I said. "You're already excellent at doing your jobs, so let's get back to work."

I went into my office, knowing that a suddenly nervous Darwin would eventually come in. I started going over my list of assignments to figure out which ones I could give to someone else to free up a part of my time for handling the more managerial duties.

"Uhm, Vee, I don't know what you've fucked up already, but you need to get over to Frank's office, pronto," he said walking into my office. "Maybe I should go with you. I figure that knowing you, you'll want to do mostly the engineering stuff and I'll do the management stuff for you, like we've been doing so far. Oh, are you going to move into Frank's office soon? I was kind of thinking that I could have this one when you do."

I just stared at him. "Darwin, what are you babbling about?" I asked.

"Look Vee, I know you're pissed about me talking about you being late. I had no idea that Whittaker had asked you to go to HR. And since you're the manager now, you can come and go as you choose like Frank always did. But like you said this morning, we all have to pull together to make things a success and right now we have a problem," he said.

"What kind of problem do we have, Darwin?" I asked him.

"Whittaker's fucking daughter is here. She just showed up out of the blue, with no warning and a stack of papers. I'm pretty sure she's here to spy on us. They're probably waiting for you to screw up since you have absolutely no management experience," he said.

The door opened behind him. And he didn't seem to notice it.

"We have to be really careful. She's an absolute bitch," he said.

"Good to see you remember me, Darwin," said Saraya stepping into the office. "Vee, I thought I would save you a trip. I brought all of your paperwork to you. The people in HR want the originals for your file. For some reason they don't like faxed copies."

She walked around my office looking at things and touching things. "Why do you have so many computers in here?" she asked.

"Those two are for AutoCAD and Master Cam," I said pointing to the two computers in the corner. "That one is for UG. None of those machines are internet accessible so none of our work can be stolen. The one on the desk is my normal office PC. The last one over there is a HAAS simulator so we can test out CNC programs for the prototypes."

"Wow, that's interesting," she said.

"So you're not really Whittaker's secretary?" I asked.

"Kind of, sort of," she smiled. "I was looking for a new career to get into after my divorce. I'm doing that until I figure out what I really want to do."

"What did you do before?" I asked.

"I was the office manager at the insurance company my ex worked for. That was where we met actually," she said. "My dad has an assistant and a secretary already, so me dropping by to visit you won't hurt much."

"Saraya, see the big office over there?" I pointed at Frank's vacant office. "Go take a look at it. I'll come over in a second." She looked at me quizzically and shrugged her shoulders.

"Are you guys friends?" asked Darwin. "Shit that'll help us out."

"Darwin close the door," I said softly. He closed the door and turned back to look at me.

"Boy, I put my foot in that one," he said. "Luckily she was so focused on you that she didn't really register what I said."

"That isn't it," I said. "It's mind over matter. She didn't mind because you don't matter anymore."

"What do you mean?" he asked. "Just because they picked you to manage the department doesn't mean that I'm not important."

"Around here it means you're fired!" I said.

"I'm what ... You're kidding right? Why? ... You can't be that pissed because I talked about you being late? I was joking. You know how we all joke around here? Ha ha ha funny, funny!" he sputtered.

"Actually that wasn't it," I said calmly. "Darwin, you're talking all of this bullshit about us all working together, but the truth is you've never tried to be one of us. You've always gone out of your way to show that you were above us all.

Your job as Frank's Assistant was to coordinate our efforts and help us to stay organized. But you always acted as if WE worked for you instead of the other way around."

"Okay, I'll accept your criticism and change," he said.

"It's too late for that Darwin," I said. "Let's not draw this out. HR will conduct your exit interview and ..."

"Fuck you Vee," he hissed. "I'm not going anywhere. You didn't hire me. So you can't fire me. I'm going to Whittaker. We'll let him handle this."

"He was the one who suggested that I fire you," I said. "So feel free."

"Now I get it," he said. "Whittaker doesn't understand us, Vee. He probably thinks that since I was Frank's assistant, you and I can't work together. We just have to show him we can. You get to pick your own assistant, Vee. We'll be a great team."

"Although you don't deserve it, I'm going to give you a good recommendation," I said. "But the real reason that Whittaker suggested that you be let go was because I can't trust you Darwin. He told me how you went behind my back and blabbed to him about a couple of really minor incidents. He was the one who told me that how we run the engineering department is up to us. And to do that, we all need to be able to trust each other. I really can't trust you. You tried to get me in trouble or fired over a job I never wanted in the first place. Take the rest of the day to pack up your stuff. And good luck, Darwin."

I walked across the hall to the glass enclosed central office. Saraya was looking around it.

"So whadda ya think?" I asked.

"I think this is a beautiful office and I'm going to go over to the hospital and kick my Uncle Frank's ass. I opened one of the drawers and found a sandwich that has to be at least a week old," she said. As she spoke she smiled and moved closer to me. "Do you want little old me to help you decorate your new office?" she asked with an amazing lilt in her voice.

"God, I wish you car was faster," she gushed. "How's the divorce going?"

"You are really direct," I said. "So, I'm gonna be too. You saw my office, right?" She nodded.

"I know it's a mess, but it's functional and I know where everything is," I said. "I like my office and I'm not leaving it."

"So you're going to have two offices?" she asked. "I get it. A showplace and a go place. We could call the other one your Lab."

"Actually, I thought we could call this one yours," I said.

"My what?" she smiled.

"Is Frank really your uncle?" I asked.

"Nope, but he helped my dad build up the company and I've known him since I was a little girl," she said.

"But Whittaker isn't Mexican, so ...?" I began.

"He met my mom, when ... You'd better sit down," she said. We sat down across the desk from each other.

"He met my mom a little over thirty two years ago. She was pregnant, had just come into the country illegally and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. It was actually worse than that. She was running from her boyfriend in Mexico, who used to beat her, from what she told me. She asked him for any kind of work that would let her make some money for food.

They were never separated after that. He moved her into his house. She thought he wanted her to clean it. She always told me that she fell for him on sight, but she just could never understand what he saw in her."

"Did she look like ..." I began.

"Spittin' image," she grinned. "She died when I was twelve. It's been dad and me ever since."

"He never remarried?" I asked. She shook her head.

"So where'd you go to school?" I asked.

"Michigan State," she said.

"Ooh, you lost points on that one," I smirked.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"I'm one year and three months older than you are," she said. "I'm five seven, a hundred and twenty three pounds. Thirty four double D, twenty four thirty eight, to answer all of the things you wanted to know but didn't want to ask."

"I wasn't going to ask you that stuff," I said. "This is a job interview."

"But you wanted to know anyway didn't y ... What do you mean a job interview?" she sputtered.

"I fired Darwin; I'm not a manager type of manager. I'm more of a managing engineer. I need an office manager type person as my second in command. You can have the big pretty glass box," I said.

"You're serious?" she asked. "I don't know anything about engineering."

"Neither did Darwin, but I think you're smart enough to learn enough to do your job well," I smiled at her. She pulled out her phone.

"Dad, I'm quitting ... Okay maybe I'm not exactly quitting it's more of a transfer. I'm going to work with Vee. I'm taking Darwin's job. You did tell him he could hire his own assistant. Okay, I'll see you at dinner."

* * * * * *

Wendy

My dad and I got to the restaurant early. I sat nervously while he looked around.

"Too bad this isn't the old days," I said. "I'd have known the instant that he pulled into the parking lot."

"If you guys had that kind of bond, why the hell would you cheat on him? You make it seem like you could feel each other's presence. So surely he'd feel it if you were screwing some other guy," he said.