The Case of the Sneaky Valentine

"Hi Mum!" they chorus before Chloe continues, "You should see it, Mum: the snow is amazing! You should see the snowman we built..."

"I said we should make it a snowwoman but Chloe thinks giving it boobies will, like, upset Granny."

"I think Chloe is probably right, Tina; well done for being sensible Chloe. Did you both get very wet and cold in the snow?"

"We did but Granny made us hot chocolate with like whipped cream; it was sooo yummy!" enthuses Chloe.

"And Granny made us change into dry clothes. Granny says that school will probably be closed tomorrow," Tina says hopefully.

"It may have already been decided; if you tell Granny to check the school website and look for the 'Important Notices' box on the right-hand side. There'll be something about the snow already, I should think."

"Mum, do you know if Zoe is okay?" asks Chloe.

"Yes, Chloe, she's fine; she's booked into the same hotel as me after we bumped into each other at Victoria Station. We'll go and get some food in a little while. I love you both. Night night and sleep well: I'll see you both tomorrow."

"Night night Mum," says Tina.

"Night Mum," echoes Chloe. "Can you say goodnight to Zoe for us and give her our love?"

"I will, I promise. Be good girls for Granny and Granddad, won't you? Can you give the phone back to Granny? Night night Tina, night night Chloe." I cover the microphone and turn to Zoe. "Chloe and Tina say night night to you and send their love," I tell her and she smiles, evidently touched, just before Mum returns.

"They're both being very good, Sarah," Mum tells me. "Tina just told us you said we should check the school website, so the girls can help your Dad do that when we get home. I better go, Sarah dear."

"Bye Mum, I love you."

"Bye, dear. Be careful and be good." She rings off.

"Thirty-four years old and my mother is still telling me to be good!" I complain.

"Perhaps she thinks you're being led astray."

"I know she worries that I am being," I tell Zoe apologetically, before muttering, "She doesn't stop to consider that I might want to be!"

"Do you really?" asks Zoe, smiling.

I laugh even as I blush, "Be quiet you; you weren't supposed to hear that last bit."

We head out into the still-falling snow and, after a bit of wandering, find a little Italian restaurant. We sit in the window watching the snow fall, drinking red wine and, since neither of us is particularly hungry, sharing a big plate of Spaghetti Carbonara. In my case my lack of appetite is down to the butterfly nervousness in my stomach; I wonder what it is for Zoe? However, the red wine is helping to calm my nerves somewhat.

"You know, I finally found out what 'La Gata Rosa' means," I tell her as we come to the last of the pasta. "According to the translation site I found on the Internet, it's Spanish for 'The Pink Cat'. That's right isn't it?"

"Well, sort of," she says carefully. "It's very close, but I don't think 'cat' was exactly the word they had in mind when they named it. It was something more... suggestive." Amusement shows on her face as I look at her, unsure what she means. "Oh Sarah, you're such a sweet innocent sometimes!" she exclaims and, suddenly, the answer clicks.

"Oh... fuck!" I say quietly, a shocked grin on my face, "It's meant to be 'The Pink Pussy' isn't it? God, if I'd known that then Lexi wouldn't have been such a shock, I can tell you!"

"True, but had you'd known on the first visit how would you have felt? I think it's probably just as well you don't speak Spanish, Sarah, don't you?" she smiles.

"Yes, you're probably right; it would have worried me I think. I'd have been much too nervous of a Lexi-type encounter to have had the fun I did and then maybe Tina, Chloe and I wouldn't have you as our friend." I raise my glass to her, "Here's to not speaking Spanish!"

We decide to share dessert too, a portion of Tiramisu followed by coffee with a shot of brandy against the cold. Finally, we begin the journey back to the hotel. The snow has eased a little but is still falling, fine flakes like thistledown drifting to the ground, as we walk arm-in-arm. I know what I hope will happen when we get to our room but I also know that I will not be able to make the first move. I think I'm alright with the idea of sleeping with Zoe. I laugh: why do we say 'sleeping' when we mean 'sex'? "What's so funny?" Zoe asks.

"Oh, nothing. Or maybe it's you, or me, or us, or the snow. Perhaps it's just being here and sharing this walk together. Zoe, I just feel very happy right now."

"Me too." She pulls herself tight against my arm. "Um, Sarah, how do you really feel about sharing a bed with me tonight?" I look at her and there is an excited, hopeful look on her face.

"Really feel?" I hesitate but the alcohol has loosened my inhibitions just enough that I can answer truthfully. "I, er, I don't know if I should but I want to... I want to a lot. Um."

"Sarah," she whispers, "Do you want me to lead you astray tonight?" I can feel my heart hammering in my chest. I could act as if I don't know what she means and what she's offering but why pretend? We stop and we are gazing into each other's eyes but I cannot speak, all I can do is nod.

Without a word, Zoe reaches up, slipping her hand behind my head and pulling me down into a kiss that has been too long coming. As before, the touch of our lips is gentle at first but becomes harder. This time, however, though I hesitate when her mouth opens, I do not pull away. My own lips open slightly as the kiss deepens and I feel the brush of her tongue. That is all it takes and I give myself fully to the kiss as my own hand slips up under her hat into her short hair. Our tongues meet and caress and explore. I cannot remember ever finding the act of kissing so intensely sensual and passionate; it is simply wonderful. When we finally separate we are both dusted with snow. "Wow!" is all I manage to say.

"I think we can do better than wow," she replies, smiling. "Come on, before we turn into snow women." In the rush of excitement, we almost run through the snow and on through the hotel reception, hand in hand and heedless of the glances of others.

In the room, after shedding gloves, hat, coat and boots, my nervousness returns and I feel shy as I sit on the bed while Zoe closes the curtains and leaves just a single lamp on. I watch as she pulls the hoodie she's wearing over her head, then reaches down and removes her tee-shirt. She stands with just her black, silky bra and my eyes are transfixed by the swell of her surprisingly full boobs within the bra. However, I know that I cannot strip in front of her as she is doing in front of me. "Zoe, I... I can't do this." Her face falls, "No, I mean us undressing in front of each other. Let me go into the bathroom and undress and then get into bed for a cuddle... if that's alright?"

"Sarah, of course it's alright. I don't want you to do anything you're not happy with... I love you..." These last words are delivered with a simple intensity that brings a lump to my throat.

"I love you too," I reply as I stand up. It's true, I do love her... I just hope that I can love her in the way she obviously wants me to. "I'll be out in a minute," I tell her as I head into the bathroom where I undress, carefully folding my clothes so I can wear them again tomorrow. My panties tell the tale of how much I was aroused by kissing her.

I turn off the light and peep out into the bedroom; the light seems dim after the intense light of the bathroom, which suits me. I pad quickly and quietly over to the bed; my arms and hands automatically cover my boobs and womanhood in my shyness as Zoe, lying under the duvet on the far side, smiles affectionately at me. I smile back as I slip between the cold sheets, shivering slightly at their touch. As I edge across the bed I feel the inviting warmth of Zoe's body where the bedclothes have been heated by her bare skin. "Do I have to tell you that being naked in bed with another woman, and a naked woman at that, is also on my list of things I've never done?" I say to her. I feel fear and excitement in equal measure.

"I sort of guessed that might be the case," she replies, smiling; she lifts the duvet slightly, inviting me closer. "Will you share a cuddle with me even if we're naked?"

"I might make you cold," I warn her, conscious of the chill of my skin.

"Are you kidding? This will be the hottest thing I've done in years!" The laughter we share closes the gap between us as the skin of thighs, stomachs, boobs and arms come into contact. Our arms slip around each other and our faces draw close.

"Hello, you," I say as our noses brush. I relax a little, enjoying the feeling of intimacy and closeness and, yes, sensuality too. "Zoe, have you done anything like this before?" I ask.

"Yes, Sarah, I have," she replies quietly. "Sarah, love, perhaps I should have been honest from the start but I am lesbian." She gives a little smile, "See, I told you that you knew some gay women without realizing it." She reaches up to move a lock of hair off my face.

"I did wonder, a bit, if you were gay," I tell her, "I guess I should have just asked you but I decided it didn't matter anyway, that I wanted to be your friend whatever."

"And do you still think it doesn't matter?" she asks teasingly as her hand caresses my hip and thigh. I close my eyes and respond by gently running my hand over her shoulder and down her back. The feel of her skin, so soft and smooth, is wonderful. Her breath flows across my lips just before our mouths contact. This time there is not the instant arousal and urgency that I experienced when we kissed in the snow; this time it is slow and gentle and unlike any lovemaking I have ever experienced and I feel that Zoe and I are expressing our deep friendship with our bodies.

The arousal may be slow but we have time and, as that time passes, my body responds. My nipples are tight and hard, as are hers when our boobs rub and squash together, while my cunny is hot and wet and I can feel that my inner labia are swollen, slipping and rubbing as I move my legs to adjust my position and press closer against her. Her hand slides up and she gently strokes my boob and I cannot help the sigh of contentment and pleasure her touch elicits. With my eyes closed the sensations of the caresses and touches are intensified.

My response emboldens her and her thumb brushes my already hardened nipple. The feeling is fantastic, "Mmmm, oh Zoe!" escapes my lips and she goes further, squeezing the nipple, rolling it between her fingers. I run my hand lower till I feel the swell of her bum and I cannot resist squeezing it.

"Oh Sarah, you're gorgeous," she says, "and I cannot hold back any longer." I have only a moment to wonder what this means before another new sensation from my boob and nipple sends exquisite tingles through me: a warm, wet circling of the aureole and nipple. This continues as she pushes me gently from my side onto my back; suddenly the tip of my boob is engulfed and I know exactly what she's doing.

"Oh my fucking god, I've never done this before either!" I cry as she suckles my boob hard, her tongue playing over the nipple inside her mouth. She breaks off at my shout.

"Sorry, I didn't think having your tit sucked by a girl would be a new experience for you!" Her grin is wicked as she looks up at me.

"The last girls who had their mouths on my boobs were about eight months old at the time and they never made them feel like that!" I assure her. "Feel free to continue," I tell her, the wickedness of my smile almost a match for hers. I flop back and close my eyes once more as she resumes her suckling and licking, now able to give her attention to both boobs. I wonder what it would be like to suck on her nipples... and whether I can do it... oh god, I want to. I am about to make a move to swap places when she moves down my body. The duvet, tented over her shoulders, moves down with her, leaving me exposed, naked on the bed. "Oh shit!" I gasp as a kiss is placed at the top of my pubic hair. I look down and see her rise up onto her knees, the duvet falling away behind her, the single bedside lamp illuminating her gorgeous nude body: her boobs are firm and smooth with little sag; her stomach is soft but trim while her tummy button is as perfect and cute as the dimples in her cheeks. My eyes travel further down and see her pubes are trimmed to a neat, narrow V that terminates just above her cunny's cleft. Her hands caress my thighs as she looks at me adoringly while I gaze back at her.

"I want to make love to you Sarah," she says simply, "I want to be the first woman to enter you, to lick you, to make you cum." I nod, too nervous and excited to speak at first.

"And after..?" I manage to croak.

"And after we can see what happens; you are under no pressure to do anything. We can cuddle and sleep or touch or make love... whatever feels right, whatever you want." Her fingers are now stroking the inside of my thighs and my legs part of their own accord. Whatever anxieties are playing in my mind, my body seems to have decided on what it wants.

Her fingers slip through the dampness of my pubic hair and ever so softly trace the line of my swollen inner lips. I am torn between a desire to watch what she's doing and wanting to lay back and savour every touch and, oh god yes, she said she was going to lick me. The fingers part my nether lips and I feel that now she is fucking me as they work deeper. In my mind's eye, I picture my hot, wet folds engulfing her intruding digits hungrily. I raise my hips, forcing her deeper; I am so turned on that I know it will not take much to make me cum. She begins to slide her fingers back and forth and the feeling is wonderful: it is so long since I've been made love too and even longer since I experienced such tenderness, if ever. I gently move my hips in time with her thrusts and can sense the excitement building inside me.

Her fingers withdraw and my eyes flick open to see what's happening. Zoe looks me in the eye as she raises her fingers to her mouth and sucks them, her eyes closing as she savours the taste of my cunny's juice coating them. "Sarah, you do taste good," she tells me as she lowers herself. I hear her inhale, smelling the musk of my arousal before her exhaled breath glides over the now gaping folds of my womanhood. I find that I am biting my lip in anxious anticipation; this is so far into new experience territory that I have no idea what to expect. No one, male or female, has ever licked me down there. The first gentle lap of her tongue brings both intense pleasure and a nagging resentment that no past lover ever thought to do this to me.

This cannot be the first time that Zoe has done this I am sure, as her tongue licks and probes, caresses and tastes. I'm soon writhing on the bed and my climax builds within me and yet her mouth finds new ways to stimulate me. She is giving my clitty little laps and she slides her fingers once again into my hot, dripping, molten core. I am so close now, and my gasps and moans increase in volume and tempo. Her finger and mouth switch: her tongue probes deeply even as she seems to suck on my whole cunny, while her fingers strum my throbbing clitty.

I buck and my muscles spasm with the climax that blasts through me. Her mouth and fingers keep playing me, stretching the orgasm beyond anything I can recall. With a last gasping sigh, I flop back onto the bed, dizzy and exhausted, tingling in the aftermath.

Zoe crawls up to lie beside me, pulling the duvet over us as she puts her arm across me. I manage to cuddle her back and turn my head to kiss her. I can smell and taste myself on her mouth. "Thank you, Zoe; that was amazing. Do you want me to..."

She puts a finger to my lips. "Hush now. Let's just enjoy this cuddle while you relax after cumming. I've wanted so much to do that to you for so long... thank you." My eyes are heavy and I feel very relaxed in the afterglow of my climax. Zoe is warm and soft against me so maybe a little rest...

My eyes open and the situation comes rushing back into my mind. Zoe is on her side, facing away from me, her bottom pressed softly against my hip as I lie on my back. Oh fuck, what have I done? I have slept with a woman, touched her, let her touch me, finger me and lick me until I came. How did this happen? How did I let it happen? I am not, cannot be a lesbian. And yet, I cannot deny the passion and arousal I felt. It is as if my heart and body have entered a contract with Zoe that my life and my courage cannot honour.

I imagine Mum and how she'd react to what I've done, her horror and disapproval; my friends and colleagues at work and the thought of my sexuality being discussed behind my back... No, I could never tell any of them that I'd shared this bed tonight. And Tina and Chloe, taunted by bullies: 'Your Mum's a dyke!' 'Your mum is a dirty pussy lover!' 'Are you both lesbos like your Mum?' I imagine Chloe asking 'Are we not ever going to have a Dad?' Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit: this is so bad.

I slip out of bed without disturbing Zoe. I know that if she wakes up I will find this too hard to do but I need to do this, I have to do it. This relationship cannot work for I cannot be Zoe's lesbian lover, much as I enjoyed her lovemaking earlier; I owe it to Chloe and Tina, to Mum and Dad and all they've done to support me. I walk quietly into the bathroom and softly close the door before dressing quickly. I tiptoe back into the bedroom to retrieve my coat and other things and see, on the table opposite the bed, some hotel headed paper and a pen. I take the pen and write on the paper:

Zoe,

I'm sorry

What am I sorry for? Sorry for leaving her? Sorry for loving her? Sorry for the sex? Sorry that I didn't make her cum as she had me? Sorry for being so inhibited and hung up? Sorry for everything and nothing. Sorry for being a coward...

I pick up the boots, handbag, hat and coat and head out of the room, closing the door gently and soundlessly. After hurrying down the corridor I slip my boots on as I wait for the lift. As the lift doors open I check the time on my phone: it reads 5:37.

As I leave the hotel I discover the snow has stopped falling and, as I reach the main road, that snow ploughs and gritting lorries have been at work. A few minutes later I see Victoria Station and, wonder of wonders, a black cab parked on the taxi rank. I hurry over and knock on the window, jerking the driver from his doze after which he leans over and lowers the window. "Where to, luv?" he asks.

"Whiteton, please," I reply and see the look of surprise on his face.

"Blimey, luv, that'll cost you. Still, on a night like this, I guess I'm your only option so hop in luv."

The journey is slow, despite the lack of traffic, and very expensive but two hours later and seventy-five pounds poorer, I close the door behind me: I'm home and tears of sorrow, disappointment and frustration are falling.

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  CHAPTER 3 -- Revelation

Sunday 15 April

Another new morning and it has now been eleven days since I walked out of the hotel room after that night of love and sex with Zoe and the snow, like that night, is now just a memory. I have not seen or spoken to her at all in that time: I have ignored her texts, rejected her calls and even started getting an earlier train to avoid her.

Mercifully she has not called round to speak to me, probably afraid that I won't open the door to her. Is that a mercy? I am miserable and ill-tempered, the girls sad and upset too, not understanding what has happened. They know that Zoe and I must have fallen out but have no idea why. At least, I hope they have no idea, though I do worry that Tina in particular suspects something.