The Envelope

"What's wrong, mom?" they both asked. "Is dad alright?"

Hayley just continued to cry. She couldn't believe it had come to this. She had to talk to Brian. She had to make him understand. They just couldn't split up.

--*--

Brian's phone was ringing. Hayley hadn't been calling him in these past weeks but he had expected her call tonight. He knew she was being served this evening and probably wasn't expecting it.

"Brian, what the hell are you doing? We can't get a divorce over this."

"Hayley, you won't talk to me and I suspect it is because you've cheated on me also."

"Brian, that is crazy. I have never cheated on you. Where did you get that crazy idea?

"Hayley, when I asked you about it, you slammed the door in my face. You couldn't answer my question because you knew I would know you were lying."

"No, Brian! Absolutely not. I slammed the door on you because it pissed me off that you would even think such a thing. I do not have a boyfriend. I don't want any man beside you, dammit!"

"I just can't live with this situation any longer. You will not talk to me. I know there are things you are hiding and if you won't talk to me then I don't think you love me as you say." Brian could hear Hayley was now crying.

"Brian, I'm so afraid to talk to you. You will hate me."

"See Hayley. See how you are hiding things from me. I don't know what you are hiding but I can't live with it. Why would I hate you if you haven't cheated on me? If I'm the man you love, you should be able to talk to me about anything."

Hayley was crying loudly but said, "I've been seeing a counselor and she is making me see that. But I have been so worried you would leave me. I guess you are leaving me now anyway."

Tears were rolling down Brian's face, and he could hear Hayley crying as well.

"I'm sorry it has come to this Hayley. I do still love you but I can't live like this."

Through her sobbing Hayley made a fateful decision. "Brian, I will talk to you. I will tell you about that fucking envelop and the whole sordid fucked up mess between Mark and I. I will tell you everything if you just promise to hold off on the divorce. Will you promise to do that Brian? Will you promise me that you will not divorce me until I at least get a chance to explain?"

Brian thought for a moment. It had been a big step to decide to divorce Hayley but what he wanted was an explanation. He wanted to give Hayley a chance to explain the pictures and why she was keeping secrets from him. He wanted to know if she was still cheating.

"Yes, Hayley. I will put the divorce on hold if you promise to talk to me and promise to tell me the whole truth."

--*--

Brian was sitting in the parking lot, wondering how today was going to go. His mind felt numb. He hadn't slept well last night. The thoughts of this meeting had flooded his mind since he woke this morning. It was that same feeling he had in the final days of his mother's life. She had died of cancer and the end was slow and painful. Brian wondered if today was the death of his marriage.

He had no idea what Kayley was going to say. Brian guessed that somehow Mark wasn't giving her what she needed sexually and she had taken boyfriends. She does have a high sex drive, Brian thought. We haven't gone three days without sex since the first time.

Brian also knew that she was very uninhibited in bed. They enjoyed all kinds of sex and they were always trying new positions and new things. It was something Brian loved about Hayley. She was an ideal wife and mother out of bed, and in bed, she was a tigress.

Brian wasn't sure if Kayley being a former cheater was a deal-breaker for him. Certainly, he would have a hard time trusting someone who could do that to her husband. But he was going to keep an open mind and listen to her explanation. Maybe I can get past this?

--*--

Hayley had left work and headed for the counselor's office. She had held it together at work, but the weight of what was about to happen was crashing down on her. So many painful thoughts were going through her head. She was going to explain. She was going to tell Brian everything and then he would hate her. She just knew it. Suddenly the road became all blurry. The tears were welling up in her eyes.

Hayley pulled into the first parking lot she came to. She was full-on crying now. Oh my god, my marriage is over, she thought. I'm still not sure I can tell Brian everything. It's so painful and disgusting. I'm not sure if I can say the words out loud. This is absolutely going to kill him. He will probably walk out and never talk to me again. Hell, he won't want to ever look at me again.

Hayley sat behind that wheel in the parking lot. It's over, I just know it and I've lost the love of my life. The girls are going to be devastated."

Hayley managed to calm down and made her way towards the counselor's office. As she got out of her car and was walking towards the building, when she saw Brian walking towards her. She looked up and give him a slight smile. Brian could see she had been crying. She looked so broken and vulnerable.

Brian walked up to her and gave her a gentle hug and softly said, "I love you, Hayley, I think we can get through this." Hayley was comforted by what Brian had said and the hug seemed to relax her whole body but she still couldn't get past the feeling of doom. She was certain of what was coming. Her marriage would be history within the hour.

Brian grabbed her hand and they walked into the building. It was like old-times, walking hand in hand. Brian was an affectionate type. Anytime they were together outside the house he would grab her hand. They might be at a neighborhood bar-b-que or just walking into the grocery store. As they walked together, Brian would grab her hand and let her know he was there. She knew he would protect her if the need ever arose.

They sat next to each other in the waiting room. It was only a few minutes but it was mostly anxious silence. Brian tried to break the awkwardness. "How are Kayla's dancing lessons going? The video you sent me last week was awesome. She must be the best in her class."

"Yeah, I think she is the best in her class. She is so graceful and is such a ham," Hayley smiled. Hayley appreciated the break in the silence but thought it was strange to be having such a strained conversation with Brian.

They had always been such close partners and were so open and honest with each other. They could talk about anything. Well, anything except one subject, and today she was going to tell Brian everything about that subject.

--*--

"Hayley, Brian, how are you guys doing?" Dr. Brenda, their counselor wasn't really asking a question, just trying to be pleasant.

Brian and Hayley sat on the same loveseat next to each other. There was another chair by the loveseat but Brian wanted to be next to Hayley. He could feel her tension, and her body movements were even stiff.

"You both know why we are here today," Brenda said. "Hayley wants to tell you some details of her relationship with Mark and tell you about the pictures you found. Is that right Hayley?" She just nodded. "Brian, we are going to ask you to be open to listening. This is going to be very painful for both you and Hayley. Please help her get it out. Please try not to interrupt. You can ask questions if you need to, but please try to hold negative remarks and no name calling."

"I'm here to listen," Brian said. "I don't want to make this any more difficult on Hayley than it has to be. I just need to know more about what I saw so I can get my head around what happened."

--*--

In the previous month, Brian had spent countless hours contemplating what he saw in those pictures and what he perceived as Hayley's cheating behavior. He felt like he had a pretty good idea of how today's conversation was going to go. Hayley would say she was lonely and that she and Mark had drifted apart. She felt bad about it and it would never happen between them.

Brian couldn't have been more wrong. This conversation wasn't going to be like anything he expected.

Hayley took a deep breath and looked straight at Brian. "Brian, you are probably going to hate me after this conversation. You will probably never want to touch me or talk to me after today. But know I love you with all my heart, and I want us to be together forever."

Brian could see the tears in Hayley's eyes, and her deep sadness was obvious. Then she spoke, "Brian, I never cheated on Mark. Not a single time. I was not cheating on him."

--*--

Brian was almost coming out of his chair, and he could feel anger well up in him. What the fuck was she saying? he thought. I saw the pictures that came from a private detective. I read the report about how she had met those men at hotels. Did she think he was going to believe this crap!" Brian started to standup.

"Hold on Brian," Dr. Brenda said sternly. "Listen to what she has to say before you get angry. Please try to calm down and listen. It will make sense in a minute."

Brian tried to get a hold of his anger. What was Dr. Brenda saying?

He was completely confused. Somehow this made sense to Dr. Brenda, but it wasn't making sense to him. He slowly sat back down.

He would listen to what Hayley had to say but he wasn't going to take any psycho-babble crap like, she cheated but it wasn't her fault. He would leave before he listened to much of that kind of garbage.

Hayley began again, "Brian, everything that happened, all the sordid sex that occurred during my marriage to Mark was with his consent. Mark knew about everything. In fact, he was the one who brought other men into our sex lives." Hayley was looking down at the floor,

Brian was stunned. This still wan't making sense. "He brought men into your sex lives?"

--*--

"We hadn't been married for a couple of years when Mark suggested we try swinging. At first, I wanted nothing to do with it, but Mark would not let it go. It became a point of contention in our marriage. He told me we just had to try it once, and then we could decide if we wanted to do it again."

"Wow," Brian said. "I didn't see that coming. I had no idea." Confusion still swirled in his brain but his whole perspective was shifting. "You guys were swingers?"

"Yes, we were, but there was a whole lot more to it than that. I'm not sure how much you want to know but I will tell you everything. This will probably be the end of us. You will probably never want anything to do with me after today, and I won't blame you, but I am not going to hide anything from you."

"Yeah." Brian said nerviously. "I'm not sure I need all the details, but I do want to know more about what happened, Hayley. I'll try to stay quiet. Please help me understand all this."

"Well, the first time he took me to a swinging party. We were only supposed to watch but Mark was pouring the drinks into me, and I knew he wanted me to fuck somebody. I knew he was going to be angry if I didn't get into it. I decided if that was what he wanted, I would do it for him.

"Don't get me wrong. I wasn't completely against it. It was exciting sexually to watch what was happening around us, so I picked a nice-looking guy and started flirting. I could tell that Mark was excited that I was getting into it. So, it happened, I fucked that guy and Mark just watched. He didn't even try to fuck another woman while we were there that night."

"How are you doing, Brian? Dr. Brenda asked. "Are you ok with her continuing?"

Brian just nodded.

"After that first time I could tell Mark had changed, or at least I was now seeing the real Mark. He was a man that wanted to watch his wife fuck other men. He was a cuckold, Brian. Do you know what that is?"

Brian just nodded.

"There is a lot more. It's all very sordid. Do you want me to go on?"

Again, Brian just nodded.

"We started going to other swing parties and Mark started encouraging me to take multiple partners. He really got into seeing me with multiple men around me. He would even lube my ass and encourage men to fuck my butt." He wanted to see me suck cock and let them come in my mouth."

"I started to enjoy all the attention and the men would bring me to orgasm many times before the night was over. Then Mark started taking me to bars and wanted me to let men pick me up. Again, I gave into his ideas. It was kind of fun watching the guys try to pick me up when I knew all along that I was going to take them out to our SUV, and either suck them off, or let them fuck me."

"Wow, Hayley. That is crazy shit." It's hard to believe you two were into that."

"I always tried to be safe. I always made the men use rubbers when they fucked me. And I know that you may not believe me but I was always confused. I didn't think that swinging was the way to build a marriage, but I also knew Mark loved seeing me getting fucked."

We stopped going to swinger's clubs after a while, but we continued to go to bars and pick up men. Then Mark started wanting me to pick up men on my own. He wanted me to fuck men on the side and then tell him all about it afterwards. He thought it would be great if I had guys who fucked me regularly. He wanted me to have boyfriends. At that point, I was enjoying the freedom and started fucking a couple of guys from the hospital.

"Oh my god, Hayley, hearing you talk about this is all so crazy. Couldn't you stop it? I guess at this point maybe you didn't want to stop it?"

"I'm not sure, Brian. I was already a mother of one, married to a prominent doctor, a big house, driving my Range Rover. All of my friends thought I was living the dream life. But my life was complete confusion. I felt like a slut, a prostitute. It felt like Mark was prostituting me out, and I was slutty enough to go along with it. My world felt completely upside down. I knew this was not how I wanted my life to go." Hayley was crying between her words.

"I decided maybe we needed to have another child. Maybe getting pregnant and having a child would break us out of our downward spiral? Mark was good with it, so I went off the pill. I was still fucking my two guys from work, but they always used condoms.

"I know this is going to be hard to believe Brian, but it gets worse." Tears started to stream down Hayley's face. "Brian, I cannot believe what we did next." She could hardly contain her crying now. "Mark thought it would be kinky if I got pregnant by another man! I told him he was crazy. I wouldn't do it.

"A couple of weeks later Mark said he was hosting a poker party. That wasn't unusual. We had poker parties for his MedGen buddies regularly. Except as the guys arrived, I didn't know any of them. These guys were not his regular friends, they were guys from our swinging parties. As the game got going, they were feeling me up and I could see Mark was excited. I know sex was on the agenda for that night. What I didn't know was that Mark had told them not to wear condoms.

"Brian, I am going to tell you something you can never share with anyone, ever. Kimmie is not Mark's child. Five guys fucked me that night, they pulled a train on me basically all night. I think each of them fucked me at least twice. Two weeks later, my piss test showed positive." Hayley was sobbing. "I couldn't believe what a whore I had become."

"Brian, I was done. I didn't, I wouldn't fuck guys anymore. I decided to have my baby and then leave Mark. I told him I would not have sex outside our marriage while I was pregnant. I dropped my boyfriends from work. I knew Mark's ideas of a relationship were fucked up, and I knew he wouldn't change. I told him flat out, no more fucking around, that I wanted to have a traditional marriage, and if that didn't work for him, then I would leave.

"Mark said to stay calm and have the baby. We could relax and have the baby then see how things went. Then we had a beautiful Kimmie. Things had been calmed down at home and I was hoping Mark was now going to be satisfied with a traditional marriage. I knew my fucking around days were behind me, but Mark started back asking me to fuck a guy or two every once in a while.

"I told Mark we needed to divorce. He was angry and said we needed to stay together. He said I was the crazy one. He said most women would enjoy the freedom to fuck other men. I didn't want any of it anymore, and told him I was getting a lawyer.

"The next day he pulled out the envelope you found. He said his private detectives had 'caught' me cheating on him, and if I tried to divorce him he would hire shark lawyers. They would make sure I lost everything, even the kids. He said that he would make sure all my friends and family found out that I was a world-class slut and fucked around on her husband."

Hayley was sobbing loudly now. "He even threatened to expose the fact that Kimmie wasn't his. He would make sure everyone knew what a slut I was and I would lose my children.

"I was lost, he had me over a barrel. Mark just smiled at me and said, 'Welcome back to our marriage'.

"That bastard was blackmailing me into staying married and within a week he brought over a swing friend and they both fucked me that night."

"I never again actively sought out any men, but Mark would bring guys over. Tthey would fuck me and he also started to taking to swing parties again."

--*--

"Brian, I was married to Mark for five years and have no idea how many different men I fucked." Hayley was sobbing. "I know you probably hate me now and never want to touch me again. I don't blame you for a second. I will give you a quick divorce if that is what you want." Hayley looked crushed. Tears were streaming down her face non-stop, and she couldn't look at Brian.

"Hold on, Hayley. I need to get my head around such a crazy story. I know you participated and don't understand why you didn't get out earlier. You said you enjoyed the sex, so I'm sure that was a part of it but all of that occurred before you married me. You didn't do those things to me. All that happened before we got together."

"I have to admit that my head is spinning right now, but I love you, and I love OUR girls. People change Hayley, and I know that person you described is not who you are now.

"As I've told you many times, you are the love of my life. You are my wife, and as far as I'm concerned Kayla and Kimmie are OUR children, and I AM their father. Listening to your story and the pain it has caused you I don't believe you have ever cheated on me."

"No, I haven't Brian and I promise you I never will."

"Hayley, I'm sorry for the suffering I caused by forcing you to re-live the situation with Mark, but I'm not sorry I know your story. You are my wife, and I want to know everything about you. Especially those things that obviously caused you so much pain.

Brian looked at Dr. Brenda. "I think our counseling sessions will need to continue for a while but we will show up and we will work through this together."

Brian looked at Hayley. "Hayley, I'm not going to divorce you. Will you promise we will continue counseling? We will find a path forward Hayley, I'm sure of it."

She had the biggest smile on her face. The light was back in her eyes. "Of course, we can continue counseling." There were tears in her eyes again but they were tears of joy. Hayley just sat there and tried to take it all in, then she jumped over and threw her arms around Brian.

Brian thought she was going to squeeze him in half. He knew she was hugging him with all of her strength and she wasn't letting go.

"I'm never letting you go. I love you so much, Brian. You are my one true love. You are a real man and I will be yours every day. Yours and only yours, forever. You are my forever man and there will never be anyone else. Never, ever. I promise you that will all my heart."

Hayley finally released her hug and Brian stood up and spoke, "Come on Hayley. Let's go home and see our girls."