All Comments on 'The Last Leaves of Autumn'

Very poignant story!

5

This seemed meant to be a touching story, but I never got to know the relevant characters well enough to care about any of them (and quite a few stories on this site have brought tears to my eyes, so I am no stoic). I guess the story was just not my cup of tea, as I can't say anything specifically was done wrong (aside from rigor mortis not setting in for 2-6 hours, but that is a minor quibble).

Too bad Angela didn't live another 11,000 days of agony and pain, for the SHREW so deserved them.

What is it with the ENTITLED bitches of modern times.

Brilliantly penned.

5/5

A final conversation between the husband and wife in afterlife would make it even better.

5⭐ She made a bad choice and paid the consequences.

A life of regret, pain, guilt and shame.

At some point, atonement must come to an end.

I was so looking forward to seeing shadows drag Angela down into the underworld...

“ The husband snapped and withdrew his service weapon and proceeded to empty the magazine, five slugs into Steve and four into his cheating wife. He was deemed temporarily insane and acquitted. After six months on paid administrative leave, four of those in a psychiatric ward he was deemed fit for release where he resumed his duties and later married a fellow cop.”

.

Um, no….

Mmm. Thinking about this one. Well written. Jarrod actually dying was a little unexpected, I kinda held a little hope that Kyle would rescue him. However his death supplied Angela with the needed guilt to live a remorseful life. But a little bummed she got a silver lined cloud, I guess her self imposed celibacy and ordination in the Sisters of Guilty Repentance' payed her debt? Or maybe the decency of the man she married and didn't deserve? Yeah, I think that might have been it.

Good till the end. She should have gone to hell.

Oh, FUCK NO!!!

First, the daughter should have been told the truth. Always tell the truth. If she rejects her slut mother, all the better!

Second, the idea that she would be forgiven, and reunited with her husband in heaven is repugnant! She was sn unrepentant adulterer. She was only sorry for how it turned out, not for doing it. To have ANY chance at forgiveness, she would have had to stop her sin of her own accord, because she knew it was wrong, and then confess to her husband.

There’s going to be idiots praising this as a “Happy Ending”. It’s not. This is a horrific, unjust, and cruel perversion!

ZK

I am sure I have read this before!

good story but she came out of the affair well

Too little care taken with the story:

Shifting point of view 1st/3rd

Shifting name Amanda/Angela

“heard” work

Jenny stood next to her “father”? (Mother)

Nicely done.

Should be read at least twice.

Lots of subtle nuance.

Thanks

fuck fuck fuck

almost perfect

why did you ruin the perfect story ... fuck

WELCOME ... really

what a shame

a wave with a smile on his face as she went thru the gates of hell as her pilot waited for her would have been perfect

Very good like the whole story to the end hope you write more like it .

Heaven? Not hell?

Boring

A great story except for the last 5 sentences. Dropped the story a point.

Well written, but the end offends. If one is a Christian and believes in an afterlife and the Ten Commandments she arrived at the pearly gates with two major sins “(6) You shall not murder” and “(7) You shall not commit adultery”. She should been give a glimpse of paradise and then sucked down into the Pit for eternity. Getting the slate wiped clean after death is a perversion of the faith by contemporary preachers in non-denominal mega-churches enriching themselves by telling greedy, self-centered members that if they are healthy and rich it is sign of approval by god and they can do anything they want as long as they tithe.

Really sucked.

The paradise for the whore wife ? Really ? 1 full star !

A totally sheep husband from the start to the end, spending his entire life working like an idiot and submitting himself to his selfish disgusting slut wife. He deserved to die alone like the sheep he was. But for the whore wife, all the happiness regardless all of her disgusting behaviour ? Just another awful fempov men-hater fairytale.

Manhater tale: to the husband all the pain, to the slut wife all of the happiness. Totally one-sided unrealistic tale. No good at all.

The most common complaint here is that the story isn't finished. This was was finished, then finished again, then again......

Why the sudden, temporary shirt from third-person to first-person in the middle of the 2nd page?

Awful story line. Poor delivery.

I'll put up with a reconciliation like that! Exceptionally!

Well done, thank you!

​

Based on the description of Angela's character and essence, I very much doubt that Stephen was her only lover and "the first and only weakness/carelessness / mistake/ stupidity", and her categorical refusal to move to another place, in accordance with her husband's career growth, may well be indirect evidence of the presence of more or less long-term affairs throughout her marriage.

Have Jerrod die right there in the doorway to the bedroom after he throws his ring. Cut the follow up after his death in half and then we might have a much better story.

As written, pretty much mediocre.

I hope the end of one's life works like you've described. For all of us that have made a mistake, big or small, it would be very nice to have a good ending.

Thanks for the story!

Changing between third and first person in the same sentence suggests a lack of proofreading. If it was missed in the proofreading then an editor would be a big help.

I'm not a fan of stories in which the guy dies as a result or partially as a result of the wife cheating and didn't like the reconciliation.

Not too bad, but didn't like the post-death forgiveness. I know, I know, that's what you are supposed to do. Sorry, but sometimes the Bear is mean-spirited. 4 stars, other than that it was sad and had no happy ending. She should have ended up in the tropical place- and I don't mean Texas or Florida. More, please.

The BEAR

I kind of thought it was a little stretch for her to be so sullen and regretful after being spoiled and narcissistic all her life. But its your story and in your world that's how she turned out. Thanks for the entertainment.

ANGELA WAS UNFORGIVABLE

"Mr. Martinson gave her away to her son "- HIS son!

\

If it wouldn't have hurt Jenny, I would have wished a early, painful death for her mother. I certainly wouldn't have her getting forgiveness.

Best part of the story was the title, although I did like the twist of Kyle selling the cheating wife of the story of the husband last words.

What the hell had Jarrod done to deserve spending eternity with the bitch, surely it’s a given that all cheaters go straight to hell, pretty sure that’s in the bible, or maybe it should be.

What would have been a solid 4 star story dropped to 3 stars when you switched from third person to first person perspective.

The cunt Angela met hubby in hell ?!

Captcha

Good story. Minor detail. The widow maker is a particular heart artery. If it's blocked, you have a good chance of dying. Hence the widow maker. I should know. I have a stent in mine.

"I did of heart attack because of my wife's cheating, but I'm cool with it."

The lack of contrition is also an issue as since she never confessed her sins, she won't be joining her husband.

It was a story, but it had no point. There was nothing to it.

Well done but she only had to live with guilt. I don’t think that’s enough punishment. The son inlaw should’ve told her when the dust settles she needed to sit her daughter down and tell her she was caught cheating

Way too soppy for my taste.

Angela or Amanda???

What a mistake, just served to further kill a lame story

Scores 3/5

What a disgusting "story". So basically the cheating bitch gets off 100% scott free with zero downside or punishment, and he dies.

The story is spoilt by poor editing as others have pointed out.

The basic plot was good but the delivery was poor.

but did she forgive herself. i dont believe in religion but i would think that the sinner needs to forgive themselves to be able to go the heaven. but then theres 1000 diff beliefs out there so who knows. i dont get the editing comments i've seen 100% worse. was an easy read for me gave me the emotion i was looking for so win win

You need an editor badly , but the story was good. 4 stars from Xluckylee for a good story. Now get an editor.

Sorry but cheating is so evil it is in the commandments TWICE once for thinking about it and once for doing it. Meaning she ain't joining anyone at the pearly gates!

Yeah, editing is fine in my book. A sad tale to be sure, and I think the ending a bit far fetched. I enjoyed the read, thank you.

Sad story, but very well done. I didn’t care for Jarrod’s greeted Angela, but that’s just my preference. I don’t quite understand how Jenny never figured it all out. She’s clearly not an idiot, and followed Angela into a bedroom with messy bed, and the smell of sex; and saw a strange man in the house, alone with her mother. Grad students ask questions.

Well written, but a clunky ending.

The DEAD KNOW NOW ANYTHING, ALL THEIR LOVE, HATE AND ENVY ARE GONE AWAY FROM THEM, THEY HAVE NO MORE PART UNDER THE SUN

If you are a professed Christian than you need to start reading the KJV BIBLE,

If it had one final line where she then ended up in Hell I would have laughed more at the shit of it all.

The slut must never be called a slut and yet she must be forgiven at all costs even if she caused her husband's untimely death.. It's how things work in PKenny's universe.