The Renewal of Joyce Carlton Ch. 01

Kim nodded in agreement and added, "Do it. Take on the challenge of stepping out of your comfort zone. You'll be amazed at what happens in your life and how you feel about life."

I nodded my understanding and agreement to take on their challenge. "I'll try whatever it is -- I guess, but I hope you guys will hold my hand." They both nodded in agreement.

Kim put her plate back on the tray and slid from the bed. Her trim nude form walked down the hall towards the master bath. I marveled at her beauty and noted that I found seeing her entirely naked exciting.

Ray duplicated her move with his plate and cup. "Time to get ready," he said. "Give us a few minutes and we'll be ready." He slid from the bed right in front of me, his nude body becoming completely revealed to me as he drew back the covers. I inhaled and held my breath. This was the first naked male I had ever seen. Almost as if he knew this, he paused and let me take in the magnificence of his trim and muscular body, as well as his manhood. I admit to casting more than several glances at his swaying morning erection. Then he sauntered off towards the bathroom as well. I flushed with both embarrassment and excitement.

I gathered the tray and carried it back downstairs to the kitchen. I cleaned up a little and then went to Kim's car in their garage and found the package with my new swimsuit that I'd bought the day before. I changed in the powder room noting that the swimsuit was much, much, much more daring than anything I'd every worn before -- talk about being outside my comfort zone!

When I came out of the powder room, Kim was similarly dressed and pulling beach towels from a hallway closet. "Oh you look darling. Every eye on the beach is going to be on you. You are 'sex appeal' personified in a colorful suit. I love it"

"There's not much of it," I commented, as I looked down at all my exposed skin. "Do you think it shows too much of me? Will people laugh? Am I a turn off?"

"Hardly," Ray said as he walked into the hallway. "I love your suit. Of course, I'd love it even more if it and you were in separate rooms, but I'll take what I can get." Kim punched him in the arm with a mock attempt at anger.

As we drove to the beach, Ray talked about my first challenge. "We are going to do something you've seen hundreds of people do, particularly around this City." About the time, he finished his comment he turned into a parking space in front of a shop that rented jet skis. I raised my eyebrows.

Fifteen minutes later, wearing a life vest over my bikini, each of us sat astride a jet ski. Mine was bright red with white stripes. We motored slowly out of the marina into the vast expanse of Sarasota Bay. Ray opened up the throttle of his machine and pulled away from us. I then heard Kim's engine start to race and watched as she chased him a hundred or so feet behind him. I slowly pulled the throttle in until I was going at least a little faster, but not near fast enough to stay up with them.

Then I listened to a new voice in my head. It encouraged me to be brave and take a risk, to move out of my comfort zone. I pulled the throttle all the way in and held on for dear life. My jet ski rose up out of the water and accelerated forward over the small waves left behind by Kim's jet ski. My heart was in my throat, and I was afraid I'd die if I hit the slightest wave, yet I kept the throttle wide open and accelerated ever faster as each second ticked by.

Suddenly, I realized I was passing Kim. I quickly glanced over at her; she was grinning widely at me. We both shrieked with joy as we paced one another. I took my machine over the wake left by Ray's machine, gaining new confidence as I sped to catch up with him. He looked back at me and then pumped his left hand in the air in a gesture of support and congratulations to me for my speed. We both yelled.

We sped about the bay, occasionally jumping the wakes of the bigger powerboats that cruised by. I could feel the self-confidence pouring into my body each second. This was fun. I would have never thought to do something like this alone. Eventually, we motored back into the marina and returned the rental machines.

I was actually exhilarated by the past hour. "Ray, you are a dear," I said as I hugged him to me. "Thank you. I would never have done anything like this. That was soooooo much fun." He laughed, as did Kim who was standing next to me. They both were joyful over my excitement.

"Now we have an even greater challenge," Ray said as we got into the car. He turned to both Kim and I and said, "Our next adventure is one that will test both your fears and blockages in many ways." He refused to answer with his enigmatic smile again as we drove down the main street of the populated key we were on.

A mile up the road he turned into parking lot where the sign said, "Para-Sailing." My heart was in my throat again. I'd been in an airplane a few times, but tried not to think about the act of flying and all that it implied about physics, life, and sudden death. Fifteen minutes later the three of us sat in the small powerboat as it cruised out into the Gulf of Mexico where each of us would get a chance to parasail. I was holding onto Ray's arm for dear life.

I asked, "Do I really have to?"

He nodded, "Yes."

"Can I be last?"

"Yes?"

"What if I fall?" I asked.

"Can you swim?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Then swim."

My voices of fear and anxiety kicked into high gear. Even Kim looked a nervous over her solo flight on the little padded seat.

The charter operator gave us all a demonstration of some of the safety equipment and talked about what we should do in the unlikely event we ended in the water. We also learned some basic hand signals. I was not inspired.

Ray said he would go first. He donned the safety vest and the harness. Suddenly, a large parachute deployed off the back of the slowly moving boat and then Ray was whisked into the air. He laughed and cheered as he disappeared into the sky above us as he rose from the back deck of the boat. He went higher and higher until he truly was just a speck in the sky tethered at the end of a very long cable with that huge parachute holding him up.

The boat motored along parallel to the long beach. Eventually, the wench was reversed and Ray then recaptured from his aerial loft. As he got back in the boat, the aide unsnapped him and then snapped the lines and parachute onto Kim's harness as she sat on the small padded plank that served for a seat. Ray was vocally extolling the virtues of his short trip and saying how wonderful it all was. I was skeptical.

Kim had a slight panicked look on her face as the parachute plucked her up into the sky. Then she screamed with delight and joy, and disappeared to the heights the way Ray had. I watched her with an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach that I would have to be next. I wondered if it would be all right if I barfed from the parasail.

As Kim floated in the sky high above and behind the boat, the aide checked my harness and safety gear. He then turned on the wench to slowly reel Kim back to the boat. As her feet touched back on the boat, the aide unsnapped her from the parasailing apparatus and gestured me into position.

The parachute was snapped to my harness, the seat put under my rump, and then suddenly I was airborne. I screamed with panic holding onto the parachute lines with white knuckles. I could see Ray and Kim smiling and laughing at me as I was launched ever higher into the sky. I think my heart rate hit a thousand beats per minute.

I yelled periodically as I rose into the sky away from the earth, "Oh my God, I'm flying. I am so brave. I can do this. I can cheat death." I actually cried at one point I was so happy then cried in panic then laughed with joy. So many emotions ran through me in such a short time. I thought the jet skis were exhilarating; they were tame compared to being suspended beneath a parachute six hundred feet in the sky.

I looked around. I could see for miles. I was much higher than the treetop tower Ray had taken me to only two days earlier. I think I could actually see the Atlantic Ocean -- I was looking all the way across Florida to its other side. I looked down and tried to keep from panicking because there was nothing beneath my feet but air.

Then my ride started to end. I slowly felt myself being retrieved from my sky perch. I got lower and lower, and closer and closer to the boat.

Then suddenly I was back in the boat and in Ray's arms. He kissed me and held me at arms length and asked, "Well?"

"I never wanted it to end," I shouted as I hugged him. "THAT was wonderful." I pulled Kim into our group hug. I was so excited I could barely sit still all the way back to the dock we'd left from. I babbled about my ride and how I'd always remember the feeling of swooping and diving, and rising on the breezes, and screaming and praying and ... just everything. Kim too was bubbling over with excitement over the parasail ride. It had been her first too.

Ray and Kim laughed, and we had an animated drive to Long Beach where the three of us went running into the low surf screaming with delight and happiness. I was so elated. We swam and splashed around, still talking about our two rides of the day.

Late in the afternoon, we drove by my condo and I picked up my car and followed Kim and Ray back to their house. We all went diving into their pool to wash the beach sand and saltwater from our bodies then sat on their back patio and talked.

"Kim," I asked, "How do you always know what to wear? What colors go with what?"

She laughed, "It's simple -- I take a critical look at myself in a mirror. Most people don't; they check their hair and perhaps whether they have a piece of spinach in their teeth, but they don't really look at themselves and ask 'is this the way I want to go into the outside world? Is this the impression I want to make? Is this my best foot forward?'"

"So many people don't dress well," I said, "Do they all miss the boat?"

"Yes," Kim responded. "I think they settle for a low self-image. I've always believed that 'like attracts like,' so if you want nicely dressed people around you, then you need to be nicely dressed."

I nodded agreement.

She went on, "There's more. You can improve your self-image by dressing better and if you have a good self-image, I think you dress better. It's a two-way street. Is Ray successful because he dresses well, or does he dress well because he's successful? The answer is both! You have to do both and think both ways."

Kim asked, "You've been suffering from low self-esteem for years. How did you dress during that time?"

I shook my head, "Not too well. Look at the pile we made on my bed yesterday. That was how I dressed. I'd probably revert except all that stuff is now on the racks at Goodwill. Maybe I'll stop and buy some of it back." I grinned to show I was only kidding.

Kim told me, "From now on, try to dress two levels higher than you would have for whatever you plan to do. For instance, when you go to work don't think 'I need to wear something functional that'll just get me through the day.' Instead dress as though you are going to meet the Queen at the end of the day and won't have a chance to change. At first, it'll seem uncomfortable, and out of place, but over time, watch what happens around you in the office --how people respond to you and you to them."

"Even though I'm just sitting at a computer most of the day?" I asked.

"Most definitely," Kim answered. "Try it this week. See what happens."

Ray had been lying quietly beside us listening to our conversation. Suddenly he spoke, "Joyce, you have avoided social situations in the past. I believe one way you did this was by hiding behind your computer. Do you agree?"

I nodded and whispered, "Yes."

"Each day this week while you are at work -- at least five times during the week -- I would like you to create a social situation that you otherwise would not have had: ask a colleague for help or volunteer to help them; suggest lunch with someone; or ask someone to have a drink after work or just have coffee together. Do you understand?"

"Yes. That'll be a tall order for me," I said. "It's harder because you're asking me to be the initiator."

"Well," Ray said with a smile, "What do you have to talk about after today?"

I grinned and replied, "Jet skis and parasailing."

"RIGHT," Ray shouted across the bay. "And remember the Law of Circulation that we talked about a couple of days ago." Kim nodded knowingly, apparently recalling a similar conversation.

Ray stood, his trim frame silhouetted against the sky. "I am about to create a Mexican masterpiece for dinner. Would anyone care to bring their pretty bikini butts into the kitchen to keep me company? I can guarantee some great margaritas too."

Kim and I rose and followed Ray into the house.

Two hours later, we sat in the kitchen eat-in area, still in our bathing suits, but full of Ray's spicy enchiladas, taco chips and queso dip, as well as a generous number of margaritas. We were all laughing and having fun thinking about what else should be on my 'to do' list to build my self-confidence and self-esteem. Some of the suggested entries included climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, a safari, skiing in Chile, surfing in Baja after a hurricane, running a marathon, or doing a triathlon, bungee jumping, and sky diving (now that I'd mastered parasailing). We examined each one commenting on the role it would play in my self-development.

We cleared the table, and with three of us the dirty dishes and cookware got cleaned and put away in a flash. Ray suggested the hot tub and Kim readily agreed. I was naïve on the subject, but it sounded good. The three of us strolled out into the warm evening. Much to my unease, Ray and Kim both stripped off their swimsuits and naked, lowered themselves into the bubbling spa. They both looked back at me. I'm sure I had that deer in the headlights look.

I slowly undid my bikini bra and draped it over a deck chair then stepped out of my briefs. The night air felt exciting on my nude body, but perhaps that was just my imagination. I walked over to the in-ground spa and slid into the unit between Kim and Ray.

I had rarely felt myself a sexual being, but between the two of them, naked and feeling mellow, I felt my sex. The bubbles kicked up by the jets of the spa circled around my body, even stimulating the area between my legs. If I weren't in the spa, I knew I would have felt the sexual moisture between my legs that I rarely admitted to experiencing.

The three of us were silent for a while, just putting our heads back and looking up at the stars and the waxing half moon.

I felt Ray slide over beside me, his leg touching mine and bringing me back from my reverie. "Joyce," he said, "There's something else you need to experience that we haven't talked about." He looked into my eyes, and I knew instantly what he was proposing. I glanced at Kim, and she nodded encouragingly to me.

I said with a touch of embarrassment, "I'm a virgin." I thought for a moment and added, "I'm a virgin in so many ways. You are the first man I've kissed," I looked over at Kim and added, "And woman. I've never petted or necked or made out. No one has ever touched me in an intimate way, and I've never touched a man or a woman in an intimate way." I put my face into my wet hands, "I'm so embarrassed -- and I guess scared."

I felt Ray's arms go around me. There was no groping, just his embrace as he pulled me against his nude body. Kim came close to us too, and I felt her kiss on my cheek just before I reopened my eyes.

She said, "Being inexperienced is nothing to be embarrassed about. You decide what you want to do or not do, but we're going to start to introduce you to this rather important aspect of life."

With that, Ray lifted me up out of the spa and carried me over to one of the large padded loungers on the pool deck. Kim followed and nestled in beside me.

Ray whispered, "Close your eyes Joyce. Just enjoy the next few moments. Focus on nothing else other than your own pleasure. Don't let negative thoughts rob you of this sweet moment." I shut my eyes and then felt Kim's hot breath on my breast and then her tongue encircling my nipple. I guess my tip hardened quickly, because suddenly I felt her suck the nub into her mouth. A feeling of pleasure swept through my body resulting from her action. I think I pushed my chest towards her mouth.

Then, an even greater pleasure came over me. Ray had spread my legs slightly, and I suddenly realized he had just licked my entire pussy, from one end to the other. "Oh God," I muttered. A feeling of real ecstasy swept through me and I know I tilted my pelvic area towards his mouth.

Ray's tongue licked again, only this time the target was clear -- my clitoris. "Oh God," I said again -- about ten times -- as he pushed and prodded with his tongue on that little nubbin of flesh that I'd kept so hidden all these years. Then suddenly, I felt myself squirt and I came. I hadn't felt an orgasm in years; I hadn't allowed myself that pleasure since I'd been a freshman in college. Now, however, that elated sensation of pleasure swept through me. I groaned in pleasure into the night sky as I put my hands on Ray's head and held his head motionless against my pussy.

He was patient and gave me time to come down from my high. He started to lick me again, this time, driving his tongue in and out of my vaginal opening. I knew I was flooding with female fluid, and I wanted to say something, but Ray was so enthusiastic about what he was doing through the middle of all those emissions, that I just decided to be quiet. I opened my eyes several times to watch Kim licking, biting, and sucking on my breasts and Ray, as he made love to my pussy. Even in the dim light of the deck, the whole scene was erotic beyond description.

I couldn't believe the feelings of pleasure, ecstasy, bliss, rapture, and excitement that kept washing over my naked body. Several times, a voice would start in my head and I just shut it down instantly. As Ray had said, I wanted nothing more for these moments than the experience itself.

Ray made me come again. I think I ejaculated some more fluid, but he was unfazed by it. Kim and Ray changed places. Kim inserted two of her delicate fingers into my tight cunt and slowly moved them around as she licked and sucked on my clitoris and labial lips. Ray cupped one breast and fondled the nipple as he sucked and licked the other. I wondered why I had denied myself this pleasure all these years, but then refocused on enjoying the moment.

My cunt was sopping wet. I liked thinking that I had a cunt -- a pussy -- a cunny. I'd only ever used the medical terms for my private areas. This experience was too good, too grand, and too heavenly to use that vocabulary.

I thought to myself as I tousled Ray's hair as he sucked on my breast, I want to lose my virginity to this man -- tonight -- now. I want his penis, no his cock -- his rod, in me. I finally said to him, "Ray, please make love to me: Now!"

He brought his head up and kissed me most tenderly on my lips. We French kissed, and he lingered there for a long time. Kim maintained her ministrations on my pussy, bringing pleasure to me every second that she was there.

Ray pulled away, and I felt Kim move as well. For a fleeting second, I thought I was being abandoned, but then I felt Ray kneel on the lounger between my legs. I felt Ray's fingers gently enter my body. He was not rough, and I knew this would be a pleasurable experience. I could feel him pulling some of my lubricating fluid out of my vagina and spreading it over his cock. Next, I felt the tip of his cock as he directed it up and down along my slit.

He was gentle as he found my opening -- my vagina. He pushed into me, and I pushed up into him. I could feel him come up against a stop part way into me and then, there was a brief tweak of pain and he was deeper into me. He moved slowly; with loving concern for me -- I could tell. I opened my eyes, and we watched each other as he worked himself deeper and deeper into me. Then he was totally embedded in me. He leaned down, and we kissed.