The Sultanah Ch. 01

"After all these years and I still can't control you!" she said, "But even though you are trouble and even if it DOES disappoint the men, I am not dancing with anyone. I am staying with you the whole night." She leaned back in her chair comfortably, showing how content she was just to spend some hours with me.

"That is only because you know I will leave in a week and you can finally marry," I said. A life-servant was not permitted to marry until her Lady married. At 26, Arkadas had waited 8 years longer than most women, and three years longer than me.

"I am serious," Arkadas said sharply, "We are not talking about that." I looked at Arkadas and tilted my head to the side slightly. She was looking at me earnestly now, trying to stem my negative mood. She looked like her teeth were grinding, like she was right on the edge of something.

"It is the only thing I can think about," I admitted finally, I wanted to have as much fun as Arkadas did, but all I could think of was the nunnery. A life of celibate service to a God I barely understood until I died. It was hard to feel in the mood for a party with that kind of future.

"So I've noticed," Arkadas said. She reached forward and placed her hand on top of mine, rubbing it gently and smiling. Without words, she seemed to tell me that she understood my fear and that there was nothing to do about it. Just to live that night.

"Arkadas, what will I do without you?" I said, feeling somewhat soothed, "Who will keep me in line when I get out of hand? Who will be able to understand what I am thinking when I don't know it myself?" Arkadas laughed and patted my hand again.

"What will I do? I will have far too much time on my hands without cleaning up your messes!" she joke and I smiled back at her, "I really will miss you," Arkadas said. I heard a slight hitch in her throat and realized that she'd broached a subject that she had intended to avoid. I looked into her eyes and had a hard time knowing what I saw there. I knew her so well and yet, inevitably, because of the nature of our relationship, there had always been some distance between us. She knew me far better than I knew her. With so little time left, I was desperate to remedy that situation.

"Will you really miss me?" I asked, "You were always required to be my friend. Perhaps all you really want is your freedom."

"No...!" Arkadas started, her eyes getting wide.

"I won't be offended, it isn't personal," I said, though I felt my blood pounding in my temples. Here was the unstated heart of my friendship with Arkadas. Was she my friend or was she my servant? With a week to go, I want the truth before we left, "Answer me truthfully, or I won't stay for the party." I threatened (Arkadas was the only person I could ever be tough with). But I was afraid of the truth. I had learned a week before that my father bore no real love for me. I was tired of deceit; I wanted to know only the truth. I had wanted to ask this question for years. Only now, could I do it.

"I am either saddened that you think me so shallow or flattered that you think me so good an actress," Arkadas said, her head bowed. I saw a tear fall from her eye and splatter onto the bench between us. I felt my heart grow warmer. "It is so very personal Varis, how could you think otherwise? I asked your father yesterday if I could enter the nunnery with you. He declined to grant his permission," Arkadas explained. I felt the wind come out of me. I had not expected that. Arkadas had decided to give up a life outside, to stay with me. I felt a wave of guilt roll over me, but also tenderness for my friend. I wanted to apologize for my thoughtless words.

"I..." I began. But suddenly, Arkadas' eyes flashed at me. Like something had settled into her mind and she now needed get it out at me.

"All of your sentences start 'I,' Varis. Princess Varis. Every last one of them. You think you understand everything or that because you are a princess that your problems are more important than the rest. You don't give a damn about what the future holds for me, you just want to wallow. Well, I was here to have fun. For you. Just like I have always been there. For you. Not just because I had to, but because I wanted to. Because I was your friend and you were mine. But I don't care now. I am going back to my room." With that, Arkadas stood up quickly and thundered out the banquet. Several people looked at her as she stormed out.

I sat at the table, my jaw hanging wide open. I had no idea where that had come from. I realized now that I'd asked the question with a little less tact that I could have, but her reaction was bizarre. She'd gone from sad and sweet to righteously indignant in a matter of moments. And I still didn't understand what she was talking about. In a moment she was out the door. I barely had time to think when Kardes sat down in the seat that Arkadas had just vacated.

"Enjoying the party?" My older sister asked. I looked over at her, my mind still reeling. She was smiling calmly and had her eyebrows raised.

"Oh...uh, yes," I fumbled, "It is lovely. It fits Nislani perfectly." I had already practiced that line, I would say it to anyone who asked. Kardes laughed and then picked a bunch of grapes off the table. She popped one into her mouth, chewed it slowly and then shook her head.

"Father would buy that because it would be what he wants to believe," she replied, "You are miserable tonight. And you drove away your friend."

"No, I..." I started, but Kardes gave me a grin. I did not yet know how to read my eldest sister. She had been gone so long that my memories of her were quite bare. I recalled her taking me for a walk down by the river once and chasing away an angry stray dog. She'd left when I was three. Beyond that, I remembered nothing. And since she'd returned home a month earlier, I'd rarely had time to speak with her beyond extremely awkward, formal conversations with my father present. I realized that this might have been the first time I'd had a private conversation with her since that walk by the river.

"Today was going to be a hard day for you," she said easily. She handed me the bunch of grapes. I took one and placed it in my mouth, "You don't have to pretend otherwise. Father wouldn't notice anyway and everyone else expects you to be angry." She said. I looked at her, wondering what to make of her words. I knew she got on well with father and always had. I was slightly afraid that she might be a spy. But she at least accepted my anger and my disappointment outwardly, I didn't want to hold back.

"Well that isn't what Arkadas said," I said, "She wanted me to pretend that none of this matters to me. She wanted me to act like I was happy my younger sister was getting married and that I was to become a nun. To accept it and put on a happy face."

"Is that why she left?" My sister asked, her eyes following to the door where Arkadas had just run out.

"Well..." I said, realizing that by bringing Arkadas up, I now had an obligation to tell the truth, "I also asked her..."

"What?" My sister said, smirking slightly. She knew I was not quite the victim I presented.

"I asked if she was truly my friend or if she was glad I'd be gone, as she was only my slave," I said quickly. Kardes snorted slightly and shook her head.

"That was pretty low, Varis," she said.

"I..." I started.

"I remember when you were a very little girl, just before I left. Arkadas must've been 7 or 8. Some of other girls in the palace would tease her for bringing you with her wherever she went. Most of the other older slave girls would elude the princesses and the dukes' daughters and play by themselves. But Arkadas always brought you with her. When the girls mocked her she didn't say, 'I am required by order of the King to look after Varis.' Instead, she always said, 'Varis is already smarter than the rest of you idiots and someday you'll be begging to be her friend!' and they would laugh at her. But Arkadas was steadfast," Kardes said. I felt a deep shame at Kardes words and my head drooped. Arkadas had always been a steadfast friend. And I supposed I knew it. Perhaps I was just pushing her away, so it would be easier when she had to go.

"I am sorry," I said.

"You should tell her," my sister replied. I looked at Kardes, expecting to see her gazing down at me, her face pinched and disappointed. Instead, she was smiling at me warmly. She had not been berating me it seemed and she did not now revel in my shame. She seemed to be guiding me and I felt her empathy for me, warming me from her smile. Despite her reproach, I felt more comfortable with my sister.

"She told me that she wanted to come with me, to marry Tanri as well," I explained.

"I am not surprised at that," My sister said, but something in her tone indicated that she was not, once again, commenting on Arkadas' loyalty.

"I think that is crazy. I am glad father denied her request. Arkadas is a beautiful woman and she will make a fine wife. I am sure, before too long she will have many children," I replied, but I felt my voice hitching in my throat. I would never have those things and it saddened me because, while I did want Arkadas to be happy, I wanted to be happy as well. As I spoke, my sister tilted her head to the side.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"What do you mean? Arkadas' future without me," I explained.

"Varis are you joking or do you honestly not know?" She asked, leaning forward and furrowing her brow.

"I am make no jest," I said, feeling completely confused. Kardes reached forward and placed her hand over mine. She looked deeply at me.

"Varis, father gave Arkadas to you as a help-mate slave when you were a baby. You are going to become a Tanril Virgin, and such Virgins are not permitted to own anything, including slaves," she said, something I knew very well.

"Yes?" I said. My sister sighed deeply and squeezed my hand.

"

Well that does not change the fact that Arkadas is property. Becoming a Tanril Virgin is like dying," she said and I winced, "In a legal sense." She added quickly, "And that means, because you are unmarried and have no children, that your property will revert to father."

"To father?" I asked, confused. What did that mean?

"If father found a match for you and you were married, Arkadas would have come with you and, if you permitted, she would have married one of your husband's male servants. But that cannot happen now. Without you, Arkadas is not a help-mate slave, she has no status. Even if someone wanted to marry her, that would not be possible. She is father's slave. And a beautiful young women. Varis...Arkadas will join the Harem." Kardes words fell on me like a hammer. The Harem! With my father's concubines and their children? My friend, my servant, was to be made a whore?

"Oh Gunes," I swore, "Arkadas!" I looked over toward the door that Arkadas had fled earlier. I knew now why she'd been so angry with me. I had been so wrapped up in myself that I hadn't even thought of her and what would happen. And her fate was so much worse. I got up quickly, to run after her and apologize.

"Varis stop," my sister said, her hand clamping down on mine, pulling me back to my seat.

"I must go and apologize," I said, "you said so yourself." My sister shook her head.

"I know what I said and you must, you know that now. But you cannot leave this party, father would be furious. You must do it later," she explained. I twisted from her grip.

"I don't care about father and he doesn't care about me. I care about Arkadas," I said.

"After Nislani's wedding you will no longer be under father's control and it is right that you don't care what he thinks," Kardes said, surprising me with her vehemence, "But if you care about Arkadas, you will not make a scene here on her behalf. When you leave, she will belong to father. If you cause him to grow angry with her..." Kardes did not finish. She didn't need to. The life of a slave, especially a member of the Harem, could be quite unpleasant. I certainly did not want it to be worse for Arkadas than it had to. I felt hot tears welling in my eyes and could not tell if I was sad or angry. I believe now that I was supremely frustrated.

"What would he do to her?" I asked, "What is going to do to her?" I thought of the handsome husband and beautiful children than Arkadas deserved and felt her deprivation. More, I thought of the private jokes Arkadas and I shared, mocking my pompous father. She was now stuck with him, so much different than the man of her dreams that she'd described to me on so many lazy days together.

"Rumor has it that father rarely 'visits' his harem anymore. He is no longer...able to enjoy them as he once did. It will likely not be too bad. Perhaps just boring. They are well fed and provided for," Kardes explained, trying to cheer me. I suppose it helped some.

"It is not fair, Arkadas deserved more than that," I said finally.

"We all deserved more than what father has given us," Kardes said, very lowly, such that I could barely hear it, "You are right to be angry and you have been wronged more than most. I just came here when I saw you fight with Arkadas to remind you of who you should be angry at and who is a fellow victim." Kardes looked at me imploringly. Her hand squeezed mine tightly and I nodded. In that moment, I could feel a bond of sisterhood I'd heard about but never felt before. Kardes and I were sharing something, even if it was negative, and it went beyond words. And while I was still miserable (for myself, for Arkadas) I was happy that I'd gained something. Something I'd certainly never felt with...

"Thank you all for coming!" I heard Nislani's voice above the crowd. I looked to the head of the room and saw Nislani standing behind the King's table. She looked as though she'd had some wine and her voice was louder than it needed to be. My father was sitting in his chair next to her, smiling indulgently. Nislani was not supposed to be speaking at this dinner. Any speech was to be made by my father. But if any person would be allowed to break decorum, it would be Princess Nislani. Besides, it was only my father's men present, no need to be embarrassed in front of them, "Tomorrow I will finally be married!" The crowd cheered loudly, and I sank back into my seat.

"To the future Queen Nislani!" One of my father's men said, I believe it was Duke Hain. The crowd cheered loudly.

"Thank you so much again!" My sister beamed, "I will miss you all so much! But do not believe that I will forget you all when I leave. Ülke may be small by comparison to Dusman, but it will always be large in my heart..." I actually laughed as my father bolted upright out of his seat, falling over himself at the content of my sister's words.

"Very well Nislani, thank you for your words," My father said. It was one thing to let the Princess gush. It was another thing to denigrate the Empire. Even if Nislani, still smiling drunkenly at the crowd, was too puerile to realize she'd done it.

"To the future queen," I said acidly and Kardes smiled.

"She is just spoiled. She can't help it," Kardes said.

"I would've liked to have been spoiled," I rejoined.

"Would you? Does that seem pleasant to you?" she said, pointing up to my sister, so self-unaware that she didn't realize that she had said something that would get anyone else executed.

"Better than being a nun," was all I could muster.

"Friends!" My father said now. Clearly he had decided to make some sort of speech, something to gloss over my sister's ill-chosen words. "Welcome, uh... to my daughter's away-going feast..." My father said. He was a little bit drunk and definitely not at his best when speaking extemporaneously. Most of his speeches were well scripted by scribes and reviewed by Cin. I noticed, for the first time, that I did not see the priestess in the room and wondered if, like me, she did not feel like celebrating.

"I mean her farewell dinner," My father said, finding the right words on the second try. Then I saw his eyes brighten, and knew what he was going to say. He was going to slip into an old speech, something he was familiar with, "Tonight is a night of celebration! Not only because my beautiful youngest, and only unmarried, daughter Nislani will be married tomorrow."

"Gunes, it is like I am dead already," I hissed. Kardes sighed and nodded but did not disagree.

"But tomorrow is a beautiful day for the Empire as well. The union of my daughter Nislani with the noble Prince Lider will put an end to several decades of war between these two great nations. Furthermore, it confirms to the entire world what should have already been apparent. It shows that the Empire is still the greatest force to be reckoned with in this world. Dusman, one of the world's other great powers, considered an alliance with Bütün Dünya so important that its worthy King has decided to make his eldest son my son-in-law. Rarely have two such noble houses been fused together. And what is once fused in blood can never be torn asunder. This alliance represents the continued prosperity of Ülke for all time. I say to you, that today is the safest and most prosperous this great nation has ever had since its founding," My father's lies came fast, though believed with heartfelt sincerity.

Just as my father's last words spilled from his mouth, and his glass raised to his mouth, the door to the Emperor's Chamber flung open. It flew so widely that it bounced against the bare wall to the side, knocking down a tapestry. The loud noise hushed the crowd and we all looked toward the door. Sir Koruma, the captain of my father's guard stood at the door. His handsome face was black with soot, save for the area around his left eye that was caked with blood. His noble clothing was in tatters and, as he walked into the room, he limped heavily on his left leg. He held his right arm tightly to his side. I had never seen the noble guard in this manner. It felt like I suddenly existed in a different world.

"Good Gunes, Koruma what evil has befallen you?" My father asked, his voice echoing in the now silent hall. Now that the noise of the party had completely died, I could hear a strange noise from the window directly behind me. It was hard to describe. Like a grinding sound mixed with loud clunking. But soon Koruma spoke.

"Emperor, we are betrayed!" Sir Koruma spoke, his words spitting out in agony. My father's face twisted into a mask. I felt a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked around the room and saw concern on every face.

"Explain yourself sir!" My father demanded. Sir Koruma took a few steps forward and then dropped into a chair, "Do not sit before the Emperor when you address him!" My father demanded.

"I can sit and speak or stand and die, my lord," Sir Koruma spoke simply. My father, ever a stickler for decorum, stood down nonetheless. My heart started to pound in my ears. I did not know what the words portended, but I felt an irrational terror growing inside of me. I felt Kardes arm wrap around me, pulling me close. She looked nervous too, but she gave me strength.

"Then sit and speak, what is the meaning of your cryptic report?" My father asked.

"Sir, your guards have been attacked by the army of King Sican of Dusman led by the King and his son Lider. They are joined by the King's allies Temsilci and Surgun," The guard said and a murmur went through the crowd. I felt that I could not breathe. Attacked?

"Liar," Nislani yelled, by my father placed his hand over her mouth, pushing her down into her chair.

"That is impossible! They should be returning tonight for the wedding," My father blustered, "This is surely a misunderstanding..."

"You grace, with all due respect," Koruma said in a manner that implied that the respect due was quire minimal, "Does it appear to you that I am a member of a welcoming party? Does it look to you as though I greeted allies at our walls? Do you believe, sir, that the pike that pierced the skull of my second in command was placed there as a result of a misunderstanding?" The crowd groaned as Koruma speak. The entire world was flipped upside down. Everything we'd been expecting was reversed. The war was not over; we had not been accepted by the Kingdoms of the world. We were under attack. And ill-prepared.