The Taming of a Vixen Ch. 09-11

"What happened?" he said, though he had little interest in her words. He was fascinated with the way she spoke, and the fact that she would open up to him, to Jason, but not to Jamie.

"They wed, though there was no love between them. And she became with child. The babe was born too soon and complications arose. The doctor, if you could call him such with his leeches and blood letting, had no clue how to stop the bleeding and she died. The babe was sickly, too young to be outside the womb and died also, a week later."

"That is a sad tale. I had no idea."

"But then a few years later, my father was on the road and he came across a crofter and his family. They had a daughter, a wild redheaded girl named Gabriella. My father took one look and fell in love. He went through hell with society and their laws and stipulations and high horses. But he married her anyway. She was my mother and two happier people I have never seen. My father tells me that I am just like her, just as wild and as untamed." She sighed, reaching up to take his hand. "The reason I am telling you this, I do not wish a marriage of convenience or one made because we might 'suit'. I want what that Duke had with his wild lass."

Alyssa stared down at her lap where she was playing with his fingers, afraid to see what was in his eyes.

He lifted her chin with his other hand, moving closer. Then his lips were on hers.

There was nothing friendly about this kiss. This one was heat and fire, light and wildness. His tongue slid between her parted lips, tangling against hers, twisting and playing until her breath came heavy and her hands came up to his neck. She felt the flames inside of her, flames that she thought only Jamie could light. But light them Jason did, almost too easily.

She moaned under the exquisite pressure of his mouth, squirmed as his hands traced patterns over the fabric of her riding habit. Her body pressed harder against his and she silently cursed the layers of fabric separating them. When his hand dropped to her ankle, she didn't protest, nor when he slid it upward toward her shapely knee, raising her gown.

The silk of her stockings felt soft against his palm, the heat of her leg under it a wonderful contrast. He moved further, finding the soft flesh that was bare above the top of her stocking, stopping there to stroke lightly, fanning the flames of desire he was creating to an inferno.

He jerked himself away from her suddenly, his breath coming at a husky pant, his eyes heavy lidded with need and desire for her. "If that doesn't count for something in the way of feelings, Alyssa, I do not know what will. I want you," he moaned, his voice a rasp that sent a shiver of awareness through her.

It took a moment, just a tiny instant in the scheme of time for her to make her decision. "Then I guess we should marry soon, Jason. For I'll not sleep with you until the vows are spoken to make it legal."

But her heart hung heavy, for though he made her feel wild and untamed, an inferno of fiery need...he wasn't Jamie.

Chapter Ten

The weeks had flown by since they announced their engagement the night after the hunt. Everyday they spent time together, either riding or attending one of numerous balls and teas and galas planned in their honor.

Everyone wanted to host something to celebrate the downfall of the unobtainable Duke, the man that no one had thought would fall to a debutante. But then again, Alyssa wasn't a normal debutante.

They got to know each other, to enjoy each other's company and to look forward to their time together. But despite all that time with Jason, Alyssa still thought of Jamie.

He hadn't tried to see her again. And, though every night she locked her balcony doors, she found herself listening for the tread of his foot, for the click of the doorknob or a soft scratching that would herald his arrival. And every night, she felt the disappointment keenly, even as she tried to force herself to think otherwise.

Three weeks after the hunt, she roused from her bed, her body rebelling at the smell of the toast her maid brought to her. Trailing bedclothes behind her, she managed to make it to the basin on her dresser, her stomach heaving to empty its contents. The sickness seemed to take forever, the wretched spasms leaving her feeling weak and washed out. But once it was done, she felt better.

The next morning was the same, the heaving spasms, the terrible washed out feeling, like a rag being wrung out, and then she was better. It was on the third morning that she let herself know the truth, for her monthly time had not come since her time with Jamie. She laid in bed after sending her maid away, her hand cupped over her still flat stomach, cradling the tiny life that lay buried within her. She carried Jamie's child.

* * *

Jason sat upon his horse, staring up at the glass door that led into Alyssa's room. Once again the mask was upon his face. He didn't know which he wanted. What would be better, for her to open her door to him, to take him back to her bed, a place he desperately wanted to be? Or would it be better for that door to remain closed to him, to know that she wanted to be with him as Jason alone and that Jamie was no longer welcome?

He was a fool.

Playing this game was like playing with fire; someone would eventually be burned. He couldn't bear it if it were Alyssa. The redheaded goddess had latched onto his heart and drawn it from his breast. It was hers now, to do with as she wished. But a small part of him, a small niggling and antsy part of him, had to know if she still wanted Jamie.

"Argh," he growled, kicking his horse to get him moving. The approach was simple: standing in the saddle made the balcony an easy leap, and then he was at her door. He lifted the latch, surprised, pleased and disappointed that it was unlocked. He opened the door, waiting to allow his eyes to grow accustomed to the dark interior of the room, scanning the furnishings he'd memorized on his earlier jaunts.

She was sitting up in bed, her bedclothes pulled tightly to her neck, her eyes calm as they looked at him. "I've been waiting," she said slowly, seeing him jerk at her words.

"For me, I hope, love. I've missed you," he said, his voice husky.

"How I wish I could believe that," she said, staring at him as he started toward her. "But I don't. I can't help but wonder how many other rooms you steal into, how many other women's thighs you part so easily with your glib tongue."

"Oh, it is only you, Alyssa. I have been with no one else since our last meeting. Other women pale beside your loveliness, their kisses taste like dust compared to your sweetness. They leave me cold and adrift, alone in the dark of the night, pining for you, for one more glimpse of your sleek form, one more tantalizing hint of your perfume. I can no longer lie to myself, Alyssa. I love you."

She felt her heart leap and thunder in her breast at his words. "Then show me who you are."

"I cannot, not yet, love. I want with all my heart for you to gaze upon the truth of who I am, but I am afraid."

"What do you fear? Do you fear that I shall turn from you? Do you have some hideous scar or deforming tick that you hide behind that scarf? Or perhaps you are married, and have a brood of children and hide your identity such that I shall not know who to blame as the father of my own child?" She said the last slowly and succinctly, wanting him to know that she carried his seed inside of her, that it grew to life under her breast.

Jason felt his heart stop; it hitched in his breast as her words shattered round on him. He was to be a father. A slow smile grew upon his lips, a gladness in his heart that seemed to spread through him until he felt light enough to float around the room. He was going to be a father!

"You are glad than?" she asked him, seeing the smile in the shine of his teeth against the shadow he hid behind. "Do you notch some bedpost or perhaps a table leg to let you keep track of all the babes that you father?" she asked him, her voice grim.

He moved toward the bed, slowing when he saw the wariness in her eyes. "You are the one and only, love. I have no need of bedposts or table legs. I do have a need for you. I have missed you more than I thought possible to miss any one person."

"I am to be married," she said, using the engagement like a shield to ward off the emotions and feelings his voice and manner aroused in her. "In but one week's time, I shall be a duchess, married to a fine, reputable man who is willing to wait to take what is rightfully his, wait until our marriage bed. I just pray that when he finds that someone else has been there before him, he will listen and understand my perfidy."

"But...you would claim this child as his?"

"No, I could not do such a treacherous act-though my heart fears that Jason will turn from me when he knows the truth. But it is not for me to take your child and claim him as Jason's, for that child would be his heir and, blast your potent seed, most likely a boy." A tear streaked down her cheek, quickly followed by another. She buried her face in her hands, letting them come as they would, only to lift her head as his weight made the mattress tilt.

"You will not touch me again!"

"Oh, love, it is only in caring that I wish to reach for you, to allow you to bury your face in my chest, to cry out your soul there. I wish to take you from here, to make you my own and claim the child as my own to all and sundry who wish to listen." He touched her cheek gently, pushing a strand of hair over her ear and tucking it behind.

"You wish to marry me? To give our child a name that morally belongs to him?" she asked, her eyes shining.

"I...I cannot marry you."

"Then it is another woman, a wife then, which keeps us from each other. Go! Go from me now, I do not wish to see you again." She rolled from the bed, her face paling at the suddenness of her movements.

Jamie was up and moving around the bed, grabbing her in his arms and laying his hand across her lips. "Shh, love, before you bring down the house upon our heads. Let me explain," he urged, feeling her breasts, heavy and unencumbered, against his chest. "Will you?" he said huskily, for the feel of her aroused his senses, making him think of things other than explanations.

Alyssa stood as if frozen, feeling him pressed up against her; the scent of him, male and arrogant, wafting through her senses. His skin was warm, the heat wonderful against her cold form. His arms were strong. She had longed for them these many empty nights as she sought so bitterly to forget him. He was here now, here where her dreams had placed him so many times before.

Her arms came up, wrapping around his neck, her mouth seeking his with a passion unlike anything she'd felt before. She twisted against him, almost as if demanding he take her, take her now before she had second thoughts of their coupling and what it would do to her after. She pressed her breasts against his chest, hearing his gasp as her hands twined in his hair, pulling him even closer.

After the first startled moment, Jason was as lost as she was, his mouth moving across hers with demanding results. He took her in his arms, tasting the salt of her tears upon his tongue and lips, feeling the remnants of her sobs against his body as he pulled her even closer. His hands roamed her back, pulling her gown up until he could reach the hem then yanking it off of her head with one quick move that left her naked to his searching eyes.

And search they did, starting at the tip of her head, he drank her in, his eyes avidly looking for any sign of her pregnancy. Her breasts were larger, the taut berry nipples seeming even more turgid and pouting. But her stomach was still flat, her hips still lean. He couldn't wait to see her rounded and heavy with his child, her breast full of warm, sweet milk to nurture the babe.

It made him groan; the thought of her seated before a fire, her lovely red hair pulled back, her breast bare but for the babe feasting upon her nipple. The babe, their babe, with his hair and her stormy eyes and fiery disposition. He would be warm and loved beyond all else.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, his tone awed as he took in her form. "And you will be even more beautiful when you are rounded here with my child." He touched her flat stomach, stroking his hand down until it rested against her silken curls.

"Jamie," she began, only to have his fingers against her lips, hushing her.

"Please, Alyssa. Let me love you as I wish to tonight. Let all other things come second to this, to the way we feel. Let me hold you and love you until dawn's light. And then we can talk of the things to come." He moved closer, pulling her naked form against his clothed one, feeling her shiver at the contact. His hands roved over her back, slipping down to cup her bottom, pulling her into the hardness of his hips and the bulge that tented his breeches.

His lips found hers, not waiting for her answer; almost afraid to hear it, for he knew she would set him out. She was good and kind, and truthful - this deceit was killing her. If she could only know what it was doing to him, than perhaps she would find it in her to forgive him.

He lifted her easily, taking her slight weight in his strong arms and laying her across the soft bedclothes, following her down to lay above her, his weight distributed to his arms as he kissed her sweet lips, his tongue tracing their line before slipping between to taste of the dark passion she possessed.

She responded, unable not to when he surrounded her with his scent, with the heat of his skin, with the weight of his body. He kissed her long and longingly, putting every ounce of emotion he felt into his wooing, caressing her with his hands, seducing her with his lips. She moaned under his assault, tormented by the feel of him, her hands grasping at his shirt, fisting in the material as desire surged.

Her fingers shifted to his buttons, desperate to feel the smoothness of his skin against her breasts, wanting to know if it were as wonderful as she remembered. His shirt opened as if by magic, his chest pressing carefully against her sensitive breasts, careful to not hurt her.

Alyssa moaned against his lips, hearing his gasp as he felt the same burst of excitement at the contact. His hands moved over her, unable to stop from touching her as he had once, cupping the heaviness of her breast, his thumb brushing with heavenly pressure over her taut nipple. His mouth left hers, traveling slowly over her jaw, and laving open-mouthed kisses down the curve of her throat.

Jamie's tongue dipped into the hollow of her collarbone, teasing her soft skin with little sucking kisses that had her writhing beneath his big body. He moved lower, finding the rounded curve of her breasts, gentle with her sensitive flesh as he cupped his big hand around it. Her nipple was ripe, taut and begging, and he teased her more with small licks and tiny nibbles on the delicate tip.

A laugh was torn from him as her hands came to his hair, digging into the dark mass under his mask and pulling his mouth down so that he was forced to take the pebbled flesh into his mouth. She whimpered at the heat of him, at the searing torment of his tongue as it stroked over her nipple, at the sucking tugs of his mouth that seemed to shoot to that fragile pink flesh between her thighs.

Then his fingers were there, carefully parting swollen lips and dipping between, into hot wetness that made him moan. She was ready for him, eager for his touch, for the invasion of his body into her depths, for sublime pleasure followed by the long slow fall into the sunburst of ecstasy. He teased her soft flesh, running his large finger over her wetness, pushing gently inside the tightness of her body until she was thrusting against his hand, her thighs closing around it, her eyes shuttered as she savored the feelings he brought.

When he slid between, his cock at the ready, hard and eager for a taste of her, she opened her eyes, staring up at him, his face shadowed by the play of light from the moon outside. And suddenly, it wasn't Jamie that was there; it was Jason, staring at her with that light of love she'd seen so often in his eyes. It wasn't Jamie's dark eyes, but sky blue that gazed down at her, his lips smiling in pleasure at something she'd said or done, or even just because they were together.

She couldn't do this, not to him. Not to Jason, no matter what her feelings were for Jamie. Jason was the one she was spending her life with. Jason was who she owed her loyalty, what little worth it was after what she had done.

"Jamie, stop!" she cried, breathlessly. "Please, stop," she begged, pushing hard on his chest, moving away when he lifted off of her to curl into a ball at the side of her bed, her stomach a tight knot of anguish.

"What is it, Alyssa? Are you okay? Is it the baby? Did I hurt you?" He reached out to touch her, his hand brushing her shoulder. She jerked away.

"You have to leave, Jamie. Please. Just go," she whispered, reaching for the bedclothes to cover her nakedness.

"Why?" he demanded to know, grabbing her arm and pulling her to her back, to lean over her. "You have to tell me. Why?"

Alyssa's eyes opened, tear drenched and red rimmed, and she met his gaze with barely restrained emotions. "I am marrying Jason - if he will have me when he finds this all out. I will be his wife in all ways and I will try never to think of you again. Now, get out. Please," she begged when he stared stonily down at her.

He rose, uncertainty eating at him as he dressed, seeing the slimness of her back as she turned to her side once more, no longer able to look at him. "I'll go, Alyssa, because I do not wish to be the cause of your misery. But I cannot promise to stay gone. I love you. You carry my child within you."

"It will be Jason's child, if that is his wish. I am hoping he is such a man as to be able to accept me as I am, babe and all." Her shoulders shook with repressed sobs. "I don't want to see you again. Please, I beg of you, go!"

The click of the door sounded like a herald of the end and the tears fell, hard and hurtful, her body shaking with the sobs she could no longer repress.

Jason stared at the door, hearing her sobs and feeling like the conceited, arrogant bastard that he was. He could stop her pain easily. It would take the flick of a knot and the removal of this damn scarf. She would see that he and Jamie were one and the same. It would ease her pain.

But it would begin his. Would she be able to forgive him? Would she be able to overlook his deceit? With one last look at the door, he turned away, heaving himself over the balcony, hanging by his hands at the railing for a single instant before dropping to the ground below. He found his horse grazing in the flower bushes and took up the reins, flinging himself into the saddle. Kicking the poor beast, he took off at a gallop, needing to ease the pain that filled him. He felt as if he could howl at the moon like some madman.

If he'd looked back, he would have seen her shape, standing just inside the door, her body outlined by the moon. He would have seen her hand, shaking with the grief she felt, touch the door as if to reach out to him. Then he would have seen her turn away.

Chapter Eleven

Jason stared at himself in the mirror, his fingers playing with the knot on his cravat. It was perfect, Dobbs having outdone himself for this day. But still, he couldn't help but fuss with it, and with the cut of his coat and the fit of his breeches. His nerves wouldn't allow him to sit still.

"Dobbs will have your head if you muck that up," Teddy said, slapping the Duke's hands away from his cravat. "And I'll have your head if you don't

settle down. Good Lord, man! You love her, she loves you, and you're getting married this morning. Sit back and enjoy it."