To Have and to Cuckold Pt. 05

"How did they die Naomi?"

My wife looks at the floor as tears stream down her face. Beth hands her a tissue, but both of us patiently let her compose herself so that she can continue.

"My d-dad shot my mom."

I almost shit myself when I hear that. What the fuck! How could she never have told me this? I keep my feelings to myself though, because I need to hear the rest.

"I caught my mom cheating on him with my uncle Ricky when I was sixteen. I came home from school one day and they were kissing."

She wipes her nose on the tissue. It almost breaks me up to see her like this. It also angers me to only be learning this now, after all that we have been through together.

"When I confronted her, I called her a slut. I told her that she was whore and that I was going to tell my dad. S-she begged me not to. She promised to never do it again." Naomi pauses to swallow the frog that had lumped up in her throat.

"BUT I HAD TO TELL! I couldn't just let her get away with it. It was wrong! I felt that my dad had a right to know what kind of woman he was married to."

"Did you tell him Naomi?" Beth asks softly. I think she feels that Naomi needs a little help trudging through this quagmire of repressed memories. Naomi just nods as she breaks down crying in loud sobs.

"HE KILLED HER AND IT WAS ALL MY FAULT!" she wails out. I reach out and hug her without waiting for a cue from Beth. She sits there and doesn't stop me.

"It wasn't your fault baby. It was hers. She was the one who cheated." I say in soothing words. I thought that this was the right thing to say until she violently pushes me off of her. I look in her face and see pure rage.

"NO! It was HIS FAULT!" Her voice is filled with venom. She almost sounds demonic. I get an inclination to interrupt. Beth must be part Jedi, because she sees my thoughts and shoots me a "shut the fuck up" look.

"After he was tried and convicted for her death, I got a visit. From his son. HIS FUCKING SON! He was 3 years younger than me. Apparently, dear old dad had another woman on the side. Complete with a whole 'nother family."

She is now standing and speaking with so much force that there is a vein protruding on her forehead.

"My fucking father cheated on my mother for YEARS. Not only that, he bullied her. He talked down to her. He called her a worthless, mousy cunt. AND SHE TOOK IT! She never said a word. She let that fucking asshole walk all over her! Like the pathetic mousy bitch that she was!"

Her anger almost scares me. I have never witnessed anything of this magnitude from her. Honestly, if she grabbed the nearest sharp object and started to stab me I would not be any more surprised than I am at her outburst.

"For years he cheated with that other bitch. For years my mother sat there in a loveless marriage and allowed him to do whatever the fuck he wanted. She took his verbal abuse and his whoring without a Goddamn word! And when she finally found something that gave her a little peace and I-I..."

Her voice trails off as her face abruptly morphs from unadulterated rage to deep despondency. Her heart is broken. Had been broken for years. I just never noticed it.

Beth's soft soothing voice breaks through. "What did you do Naomi?" It is like Beth is trying to pull the poison out of her. She needs Naomi to say the words, to get it out of her soul. Like vomiting up bad food; it has to come out

"I TOOK IT FROM HER! ME AND THAT FUCKING MONSTER KILLED MY MOTHER!"

The three of us sit in silence after she is done. The only sound we hear is Naomi's heavy breathing. I am stunned. Never, in all of our years of knowing each other, did I even have an inkling that she was harboring this horrible secret. I cannot imagine what it must have been like. To have this crushing guilt of being the cause of her mother's demise, along with the rage that she felt at her father. My God! How could she even function?

"Where is your dad Naomi?" Beth asks after a moment. Naomi shot her a look of anger as she spit, "In prison getting gang raped everyday if there is any kind of justice in the world." Her voice has nothing but hatred in it.

Beth decides that we need to take a five-minute recess. Naomi needs to calm down. I need some air. So Beth tells me to go outside for a bit and come back when I am ready.

When I do make it back, Naomi is calmer. Her face is streaked with tears and her makeup is a joke, but the anger and rage are just a simmer. She sees me and comes running into my arms. I wrap myself around her and we embrace for a few moments before we sit down.

"Now, I feel that we are getting somewhere." Beth said in her normally cheery voice. We both look at her like she is insane. But she is not deterred.

"Do you have any questions Josh?" She says, looking at my pad. I hadn't even thought of writing anything down, though my mind was swimming in them.

"I guess the first question is...why? Why have you never told me any of this? We've been married for eight years. How come you lied to me all of these years?"

Naomi looks at the floor and sniffs. She actually looks to Beth for help, who simply sits there and nods.

"I didn't want to think about it Josh. I buried the hate in my past. It was easier for me to think of them both as being dead. They are dead to me. You would never meet my d...Kenny. There was no need to go into that."

I know that this is where I am supposed to show compassion and understand where she is coming from. But I don't. I feel anger of my own.

"So, you just lie to me FOR OUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE! After all of the trust that I put into you. You LIED TO ME NA!"

She crumbles into tears. "I know Josh. I know."

Through Naomi and my exchange, Beth sat there nodding her head and writing in her notepad. But she never interrupted our dialogue. She finally felt the need to step in.

"I have a question Naomi. Why do you think you found it so hard to commit to Josh early on? Why did you have trouble giving up your freedom?"

Naomi looked like a light bulb went on in her head.

"I never wanted any man to have any ownership over me. I couldn't stand the thought of being pathetic like my mother." She said aloud, but it sounded like she was saying to herself. Beth just sat back and nodded.

"As you played the game, did you feel that sense of freedom that you had before Josh?"

Naomi nodded, looking down at the floor.

"So, if that freedom is so important to you, why did you marry him?"

If ever there was a good question, that one was perfect.

"B-Because I love him. He makes me feel like there is nothing he would do to ever hurt me. He is..."

"The total opposite of your father?" Beth chimes in. Naomi looks at her for a moment, then lowers her eyes and nods.

"We are almost out of time, but we have such a good flow going that I'm going to postpone my next appointment. Give me a sec guys, okay?" We nodded the affirmative as she went out to talk to her secretary. When she returned, we resumed.

"We are at the point that I think we need to examine this affair that you had. Tell me about this guy again Naomi."

*************************

THE PAST - December 2014

With the reintroduction of the game back into our lives via Chris the shoe man, our wanton activities slowly picked up. The balance of our lives shifted a little. Things seemed more vibrant and titillating. Even innocent things like helping my wife cook dinner was a test in our resolve to keep our hands off of each other.

We began playing with the new boundaries that we'd set. Naomi did go back to the mall that night and got her shoes. Not only did she get a discount, she got them for free. Well, she didn't pay any money for them. But it did cost her a blowjob in the back of the store. The actual pair of shoes became a trophy of sorts for us.

The new boundaries became the rules of the game. We never wrote them down, of course, but we talked about them as we clarified our expectations. The rules of conduct were:

1. We never played with anyone we knew. Innocent flirting with male friends was okay since I was also guilty of this with wives, but none of the "drunken" activities that we used to allow. We realized how messy that could get if we continued down that path.

2. Heavy flirting and groping with other men was fine, but never anything under the clothes unless rule three consulted.

3. Anything that was done was agreed upon and planned out by both of us BEFORE it happened. No sneak attacks like Renaldo or the bachelorette party.

4. This was by far the most important rule: She was NEVER to have sex of any kind with another man outside of the confines of the game. Any sexual act that she had with another man was for us to enjoy in our own sex life.

The game didn't get as outrageous as before. With the exception of Chris and a few others, we really didn't play with actual sex all that much. There was a couple of hand jobs and blowjobs (other than Chris), but we did not go as far as we did with Renaldo. We saved the actual sex for our own bedroom.

There were times when we would play multiple times a week. It was mostly just flashing people or flirting to see what she could con out of guys. We could go for a month at a time in between bets. There was no set time frame. But just the possibility of the game made us hot. Knowing that there were always possibilities of playing the game gave us a charge in our own bedroom. Naomi had the perfect blend of the "freedom" that made her glow and the loving marriage to keep her grounded. This made her the happy, which in turn made me happy. It worked.

I am sure the question on everyone's mind is did you get the same "freedom" that she did? Do you think she would allow you to fuck other women?

To be honest, I don't know. It never came up. I believe that she would have allowed it. She would have been fair. Would she have liked it as much as I did? No fucking way. I am sure she would have hated it. But I do believe that she wouldn't have denied me something that she enjoyed, no matter how much she would have wanted to.

However, let's be honest. Naomi and I were deeply in love. We never tried to hide that love in public. Women are less apt to try their luck with a guy when he openly shows love and affection to his wife. If this guy could display all of these endearing traits of "Amor", and then turn around and try to seduce her into bed, she is more likely to be turned off than turned on. All of the things that made him attractive now make him look like a slimy snake. She'd actually feel sorry for the wife. At least a woman of quality would, which are the only types of women that interest me.

Men on the other hand are dogs. Plain and simple. We aren't looking for the long haul. If a woman kisses her husband and tells him that he is the only one for her, and then turns around and tries to seduce the other guy, he is probably going get a rush out of that. In his mind, he is taking something that clearly doesn't belong to him. Every time he slams his dick into her, he is going to be thinking about the clueless sap at home waiting for his wife's return.

When we (men) are in a position to claim a prize that is meant for someone else, we feel a sense of superiority. It is like we are conquering that guy. Being more of a man than he is. That is why we are more likely to fuck another man's wife. We don't really care about her morality. Hell, the less moral she is the better for the short term. As long as we can say that we "been there done that" we feel that forbidden pride. And we love it.

I know I am generalizing. Of course not EVERY man is like that. But I am willing to bet that we all know at least one man like that. I am also willing to bet many of the "rule followers" secretly fantasize about being like that, and would, given the opportunity. There are thousands of porn movies that utilize that very plot line to bring men's fantasies to life.

Therefore, I didn't have the opportunities that Naomi had to get laid. The only way that I could have gotten a woman into bed would be for me to pretend as if the relationship had a chance to grow. After my episode breaking Mel's heart (yeah, that still affected me) there was no way I could do that to another woman.

Besides that, I really didn't want another woman. I was getting more sex from Naomi than King Solomon got from his 1000 concubines. The fire that had been ignited in her was fierce once again. There were times when I had to use her dildo and my tongue to get her off because I wasn't up to it. I honestly didn't need any more sex.

Yes guys, I hear you. The happy cuck stays faithful while his worthless whore of a wife blows and jerks off the whole tristate area. Whatever. I was happy. She was happy. Henry was happy. What harm were we doing?

We were happy for months. The episode with Chris happened in December and we were playing, enjoying and having fun until right before Labor Day. Then everything started to slip away. Yeah, I know you've been waiting for that. Well here it is.

It all started when she came home one night from her job in a foul mood. She didn't give me the usual greeting kiss or anything. She just went straight into our room and closed the door.

I thought this was extremely strange, but not strange enough to send out any warning bells. So I continued to spend my evening with Henry, casting a glance upstairs from time to time in wonderment about my wife. She didn't come down all night.

When I went up to the room, she was laying in the dark. A casual observer would have thought that she was asleep, but I knew she wasn't. Her breathing wasn't deep. She was wide awake.

I took my shower and crawled into bed next to her. She was laying facing away from me, so I snuggled up to her and wrapped my arm around her waist. I felt her grab it and push it off of her.

"Please honey. Not tonight."

I was dumbstruck! Never had she pushed away my affections. In fact, just that morning I had to pry her off of me so that I could get to work on time. What could have changed in a matter of one day?

Confused, I went back to my side of the bed. We lay there in silence, together but in completely different worlds.

I became even more concerned when I felt the bed shake next to me as she cried silently.

I concluded that something had to have happened at work. That was the only thing that occurred between the morning and the evening. Did she get fired? Did someone do something to her? My mind tried to make sense of her transformation, but came up with nothing. I knew that the only way for me to know would be for my wife to talk to me.

That was the beginning of our hell. After that night, all signs of affection stopped from Naomi. She became a completely different person. She didn't laugh. She didn't want to be around me. She didn't want to play the game. Hell, she didn't even flirt. Her demeanor simply became withdrawn and sullen.

Every day she went to work, she came home and went straight to the room. When I tried to engage her, she became angry and lashed out at me. I honestly didn't know what to do.

Three weeks after her sudden transformation, I'd had enough. I had tried patience. I had tried lovingly coaxing an explanation out of her. I had even tried bribery. All of it was met with hostile reactions.

So when she went to work, I dropped Henry off at my sister's house for a while. I told her that I needed to talk to Naomi and I needed Henry to not be in the way.

When she came home in her normally funky attitude and tried to brush past me to go into the room, I grabbed her by the arm.

"Naomi, what the fuck is going on with you?"

"Let me go Josh. I don't feel like getting into it with you tonight. I don't have the energy." She didn't even look me in the eyes when she said it.

"Fine. Then tell me where to send the papers." That got her attention.

"What papers?"

"You know what papers I'm talking about. If you suddenly went from loving me to hating me, at least have the decency to tell me why. As much as I love you, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be around me."

I could see her take a step back and look at me for the first time in weeks. Her face softened and became forlorn. I even noticed that her eyes started misting up.

"What is happening to us Na? What did I do?"

The tears instantly started streaming down her face. She looked away from me and I saw her entire body sag.

"Oh Josh! Please don't leave me!" She cried out as she threw herself into my body. I grabbed her and wrapped her in my arms as her cries went from silent sniffles to loud sobs. I was so glad that I made the decision to drop Henry off at my sister's house.

"What's wrong Na? You gotta tell me something baby. I'm going crazy. I don't know what to do."

"Please don't make me tell you Josh. I'm sorry for being a bitch. Please. I don't want you to hate me."

I was softly rubbing the back of her head as her cheek lay smashed into my chest. Her tears hadn't stopped flowing. Her body shook as sobs racked her.

"I could never hate you baby. There is nothing that you could do to make me hate you."

"Josh...I cheated on you."

Except for that.

**********************************

PRESENT TIME - September 2015

"So Naomi, tell me how your affair got started." Beth says evenly. I don't know she is so calm. My stomach is practically sitting in my throat. I'd been waiting for us to broach this subject, and now that it is here I don't want to hear it.

Naomi and I had not really talked about the details of the affair. We couldn't without me getting pissed off and her feeling like the scum of the earth. Now, with Beth as an impartial mediator, I had no choice but to grit my teeth and bear through it.

"Well, Mark came to be the manager after Phil left to work at Walmart. Within a week he was hitting on all of the female staff. He even came on to some of the customers. I just blew him off as an asshole."

She glances at me to see how I am absorbing it. I have to admit that it is hard listening to this. It hasn't even gotten to the bad part and already I am feeling queasy.

"Because of the game that Josh and I played, I would sometimes allow men to flirt with me. There would be an occasional guy that would try to sneak a grope here and there. I sometimes allowed it and pretended to be naïve to it because I knew that Josh and I would use it later.

One day Mark noticed a client getting really fresh with me. He also noticed that I did nothing to stop it. He cornered me in the supplies closet a while later and told me that if he knew that working out with me would get him all of that then he wanted to sign up for free lessons.

Because I already disliked him, I slapped him in the face and told him to go fuck himself. It wasn't a gentle slap either. I actually hit him with all of my strength. His whole face practically turned around. When he looked back at me, I thought he would be angry. But he was smiling. He told me that 'he would rather fuck me'. He also said that he 'liked that rough shit'. Somebody walked in and interrupted us, so he left me alone that day.

But he began to pursue me relentlessly. Everyday he would make an obscene comment about us doing 'training' together. The more I saw him, the more I hated him.

On top of being an asshole, he was a bully. He would yell at people who made mistakes and call them stupid and slow. He made one of the girls cry when he called her 'fuck-tarded'.

So I just ignored him. Then I met his wife one day. She was so soft spoken and timid. It looked like she was afraid to even open her mouth around him. He called her all kinds of names like 'stupid cunt' and 'scared bitch'. I hated him! But I also hated her for letting him do that to her."