Tom Billionaire Ch. 07

"Do what?"

Ashlyn sighed and shook her head. She took another deep breath to calm herself, giving me enough time to push myself up into a sitting position as well. And then after exhaling and leaning back, she said, "Joey and I are moving back out."

I blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

Ashlyn sighed and got off the bed, pacing around the room while scratching her head. Not looking at me, she shook her head and groaned, "Johnny, I love you."

It wasn't exactly the most reassuring of endearments.

Still pacing, she shook her head and groaned, "You really, really know how to turn me on. Gawd... the sex we've had has been so... so..."

"Incredible?" I volunteered.

"_Otherworldly_." She sighed and looked over at me wistfully. "You remember that time you wouldn't come home from the office? I kept calling you, telling you all the nasty things I was going to do to you if you came home, until Cassandra said you whipped out your dick in your office and started jerking off?"

I chuckled. "I remember."

"Gawd... I think we broke every piece of furniture in my room that night."

"We did."

"And there were more nights like that."

I nodded. "I smell a 'but' coming."

She sighed. "Do you even realize that just now was our first real kiss since I moved out six months ago?"

I blinked. Actually, I'd been so caught up in the moment that I *hadn't* remembered. But now that I thought about it, she was right.

"Things can't just go right back to the way they were. Too much has happened since then."

I exhaled, my shoulders drooping. My dick, which had gotten hard during our impromptu makeout session, started to deflate as it realized it wasn't getting any action anytime soon. And I nodded my understanding. "So let's talk about it."

Ashlyn shook her head. "My decision is really made. I'm moving back to the 5th Avenue Penthouse, unless you're going to try and block me from doing so. Even if you did, I'd just go somewhere else."

"Ashlyn!" I protested. "You know I'd never put you and Joey on the street. Ever."

She sighed, and gave me a weak smile. "Okay... I know. I just didn't want to presume."

I just raised my eyebrows at her. I took a breath of my own, now that I was getting over my initial surprise. And I asked, "But why? You moved out before because it was a poisonous atmosphere here. Taylor was off the deep end and all that. That's not the case anymore."

"I know. We girls spent a lot of time talking last night."

I arched an eyebrow. I remembered Taylor sending me away to huddle up with Cassandra and Ashlyn. And scowling, I asked, "The three of you planning my future for me?"

"It wasn't like that."

"But you did discuss this with them."

"Of course. They're my best friends."

I nodded. "Your best friends will be living here."

Ashlyn sighed, pinching her lips. The sparkle in her blue eyes had gone dull, and she looked so infinitely sad that I immediately got up to go hug her.

But Ashlyn shook her head and blinked away a forming tear, holding a hand up to keep me at arm's length. "No, Johnny."

"Ash... what's wrong?"

She exhaled again. "My best friends *will* be living here. They belong here. I don't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because..." Ashlyn winced, obviously hurting deep inside. "Because they're your wives... both of them now. And... and I can't be."

"Why not?"

The redhead's shoulders sank. She bit her lower lip and shook her head slowly. "Johnny... look at me. Tell me you love me."

"I love you."

"Tell me you love me like you love them."

I winced. "It's different. I don't even love Taylor and Cassandra in the same way."

"Tell me you love me *as much* as them."

I raised my eyebrows, opening my mouth... but nothing came out. I couldn't. It wasn't the truth. While Ashlyn and I had indeed formed a very close bond over the last couple of years, especially as Joey's parents, it wasn't the same strength of love as I'd had for Taylor and Cassandra. It wasn't that Ashlyn was any less deserving; if anything, as the mother of my daughter she *deserved* more. But the emotional bond just wasn't there. We had always been madly in lust. She'd just pointed out how crazy some of our sexual encounters had been. But love? Taylor had always been Number 1. Cassandra hadn't necessarily been Number 2, nor a 1A, really; it was more that Cassandra wasn't part of the rankings, period. The bottom line is that everyone knew Ashlyn came after those two.

It wasn't that I'd treated her any more poorly from the others. I just treated them all differently, period. Taylor was my wife. Cassandra was my assistant. And Ashlyn was my girlfriend. Even at the peak of our relationship, even though we'd talked about having more kids and becoming a wife to me, we hadn't *quite* gotten there.

And when I'd lost Taylor, when she'd left me to go to rehab, instead of going to be with Ashlyn, I'd jetted off to Europe, leaving her behind. That was my opportunity to prove how much I wanted to be with her, but I'd chosen to leave.

THAT was the problem. She wanted ME to want HER. And despite all the chances I'd had, I'd never shown that enough. If I wanted her to stay, I'd have to step up and make sure she knew it.

"I don't want you to leave. I want you here," I stated emphatically.

"Of course you do."

"I WANT you, Ashlyn." I was standing right in front of her, keeping myself at arm's length up until this point. But now I closed the gap, reached my hand out, and grabbed her ass. "This is MY ass."

She stared at me, on the verge of tears. For a second, I felt like I'd gotten through to her, as a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. But then a second later, she shook her head in the negative. And grimacing, she reached back and pulled my hand away. "Not anymore."

"Ash..." I pleaded.

She sighed and gave me one more chance. "Tell me you'll love me as much as them."

I opened my mouth, ready to promise anything... but again I couldn't do it. I wanted her. Selfishly, I really WANTED her. She was gorgeous, she inspired me, and I seriously enjoyed her presence in my home. Even removing Joey from the equation, we'd spent a lot of good time together, enough that I missed her presence when she was traveling for work and I looked forward to her quick and safe return. I cared about her wellbeing, and I wanted what was best for her, even if it meant sacrificing myself. I loved her.

But I couldn't love her the way I did Taylor and Cassandra. I couldn't force that emotion. We just didn't have it... not in that way.

My jaw quivering, I groaned, "I thought we were going to raise a family together."

Now Ashlyn did start crying, and she wrapped her skinny arms around herself. Looking like frail twig being buffetted by a hurricane, she looked so pitiful that I immediately stepped up to her, and she let me hug her this time. And I rocked her gently, trying my best to reassure her with my strength as I kissed her neck.

Ashlyn let me rock her, but pulled her neck away and sniffled. "You don't need me for that anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Cassandra. She's finally ready to take that place in your life. She'll make a wonderful mother for your children."

"Ash..."

"We have Joey. She was an accident, there's no getting around that; but I'm happy we have her."

"I don't want to lose her, either."

"You won't be losing her. Manhattan isn't far away." She took a deep breath and started to calm down. "It's just... I don't want to be one of those couples that only stays together for their children."

"It wouldn't be just for her. I still want you. I don't want you dating... what's his name... Fabrizio?"

Ashlyn barked a short laugh and nodded, the first smile in a long while spreading across her face. "Yes, Fabrizio."

"Fucker better not lay a hand on you, or I swear I'll find some contract assassin to-"

"Johnny, Johnny," she cut me off. "This isn't about him. This is about you and me. And the fact is... as great as we are together... we aren't meant to be together forever."

I winced, feeling horrible. All Ashlyn had wanted from me was love, love like I gave to Taylor and Cassandra, and I couldn't give it to her. My face was ashen, and I whimpered apologetically.

"Now, now... Don't beat yourself up."

"I'm sorry."

"No, I mean it. Don't." She took a deep breath and stepped away from me, still hugging herself. She got a few feet away, looked out the window and across the ocean. And then after taking a deep breath, she turned and looked back to me. "The fact is... I don't have that kind of 'forever' love for you either."

I blinked. "You don't?"

She shook her head. "I wanted to. For a while, I thought it was possible, like when we were in Tahiti talking about raising that family together. I love you. You're a great guy. And you're rich and a great provider and I thought that everything... fit. We already had Joey and more kids would just build upon what we'd started and..."

She trailed off, looking out the window again. Then she chuckled, shaking her head. "And of course, the sex was-"

"Otherworldly," I finished.

"Gawd... you got me so turned on just with that little chase up the stairs."

I grinned goofily.

"But that's not enough. You're Taylor's. You're Cassandra's. It's an unusual relationship, but it works. And the three of you are perfect together. I'm just the odd girl out."

"Ash..."

"No, no. I told you not to beat yourself up over this. We can't *force* love. It just is what it is."

"So where does that leave us?"

She sighed. "Broken up, I guess. If we hadn't broken up before."

I blinked a few times. I still didn't like the idea of losing her, but the rational part of me realized that Ashlyn was worthy of better than what I could give her. "You deserve to find the right man for you."

She nodded. "Maybe. Maybe I'll go through life on my own. I've said it before, I don't *need* anyone to take care of me."

"*I* will. For as long as you need it, that Penthouse is yours... or anywhere else you want to go."

"Thanks." Ashlyn stepped up and pecked my cheek.

"And Evelyn, too. Or any other staff you need. At the very least, I owe that to Joey."

Ashlyn nodded. "I'm not taking Joey away from you. You're her father. I want you in her life."

"And I will be."

We both nodded, and then we fell into silence. Both of us were lost in our thoughts for a while, thinking of what else needed to be said.

And then something popped into my head, and smirking I said, "About the Fabrizio thing... I wouldn't *actually* hire some contract assassin to-"

Ashlyn cracked up, her laugh relieving a lot of tension from the room. "I know... I know."

"So you WILL give him a call?"

She shrugged. "I'm Ashlyn Scott. _*I*_ don't call men; _they_ call me."

I grinned at that. And then sighing, I asked, "So when are you leaving?"

"This afternoon, probably. I told Charlotte to make plans last night."

I nodded, and then it really sunk in that I was losing Ashlyn. I'd wanted her from the moment I saw her, years ago at the Vanderbilt party. I'd gotten her... but now I was losing her. And glumly, I felt my whole being crumbling as that sobering thought sunk in.

"Hey, hey..." Ashlyn stepped up to me, touching my arm. "This isn't goodbye. It's just... until next time." And she kissed me on the cheek.

Technically, she was right. But it sure felt like goodbye.

****

At first, I just wanted to stay behind in Ashlyn's room and pout. But as she got up to leave, I realized that I'd done more than enough brooding in the past year to last me the rest of my life.

Yes, I was upset that Ashlyn and Joey were moving out, but I understood her decision. I hadn't been a very good boyfriend to her for months now. And if I was going to be truly honest with myself, I hadn't been a very good father, either. Both of them deserved better, and while I would do my best to do right by both of them, I also loved them enough to let them go. It wasn't like I would be unable to visit my daughter with some frequency. And the future was always fluid. Maybe they'd come back when I had a few half-siblings for Joey to play with.

I got up with Ashlyn, and we wrapped our arms around each other's waists while heading out the door. We kept that embrace all the way back downstairs, and after heading to the family room, found that both Taylor and Cassandra were there with Joey and Evelyn.

Joey was a little scared of Taylor's face, and I could see that my wife was having some difficulty with it. But when I tried to comfort her, she wouldn't have it.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "She's getting used to me already. You still remember Auntie Taylor, don't you?"

Joey looked up at us, and nodded that she did. Or maybe she was just miming Taylor's up and down head motions. That's a 2-year-old for you.

And that reminded me. "Hey, Joey's birthday is coming up soon," I started. "Have you already made plans for her party?"

Ashlyn nodded. "Of course. But it's going to be at my place, not here. Joey's got a lot of friends in the building."

"Which should remind you that *your* birthday is coming up soon, too." Cassandra nudged me in the ribs.

I winced at the momentary pain. Indeed, my birthday was exactly a week after Joey's. I'd be 33... an old man. I sighed and shook my head. "I'd honestly forgotten. What am I going to do if you stop being my assistant? I'll be lost!"

Cassandra grinned, wrapping her arms around me. "Relax. No matter what we decide my official title is, I'll always be looking out for you."

I smiled and wrapped my arm around her back. I took a deep breath and looked around the room, watching Joey building a tower out of multicolored pre-Legos, with Taylor, Cassandra, and Ashlyn around me. And I thought about what to do with myself now.

I was retired. No more JKE. I had more than enough money as it was, and after everything I'd been through, I just couldn't imagine putting myself through the stress again. The company would run just fine without me, and probably without Cassandra, too, unless she decided she wanted to remain involved. We'd have to work that out pretty soon. Taylor wasn't going back to work, and she wasn't going back into rehab, either. So I reached my arm out to my wife while still holding onto Cassandra and asked, "So what do we do now?"

Taylor looked at me, then pecked me on the lips. And after giving me a sly smile, she pointed at herself and Cassandra. "_We_ are going to sort out the details of our lives. I'm going to have to find something to do with myself now that I'm not modeling anymore, and I'm certain I would drive the staff batty if I tried to take over. And Cassandra needs to work out her own assistant roles, including those at the company."

"My thoughts exactly," I nodded. My wife had read my mind. "So what do you say the three of us head-"

"Nuh-uh," Taylor cut me off.

"Not this time, Jonathan," Cassandra shook her head.

I just arched an eyebrow in confusion.

"You..." Taylor grinned and started pulling me up to my feet. "You need to go spend time with your girlfriend."

"Excuse me?"

She smirked at me. "Vivienne? Forget her already?"

I frowned. "No, of course not." I hadn't *forgotten* her. But as I'd settled into my old routines as Jonathan Kwong, routines that hadn't included Vivienne before, I did realize she'd gotten a bit lost in the shuffle.

"We're gonna get all serious for a bit," Cassandra intoned behind me, reaching up to massage my shoulders. "You've been under a lot of pressure and stress these past few days, and you need to relax."

"I've *been* relaxing. Getting things worked out for all of us has been great!"

"Well, you've got to work things out with her as well," Cassandra advised. "We mean it. Go on."

I turned and arched an eyebrow at my assistant (ex-assistant?) She just smiled at me, and as I looked around, Taylor and even Ashlyn were nodding.

Really... my wife, about-to-become-a-wife, and ex-girlfriend were all telling me to go hang out with a nubile, 23-year-old French girl who was madly in love with me and wanted to fuck my brains out every time she saw me. "Why does this feel like a trap?"

Taylor cracked up. "A trap? Johnny, if this is about getting things back to the way they were, then remember the way they were. We're not jealous. You've always had girlfriends. They've always been useful to us. Whenever you needed something light, something enjoyable, you had others around. Kaitlyn, Lindsay, Rebecca, Mia, Kate, even Ashlyn here initially."

"And this isn't some short-term fling with one of Taylor's friends," Cassandra added. "Vivienne and you already have a deep relationship, and maintaining that is important for your emotional health. We know she's dearly attached to you, and you haven't spent any time with her since... I don't even know when."

"The flight to Paris," Taylor explained.

Cassandra shrugged. "She deserves more than that. So go."

Something still felt off about the whole thing. To me, this recently after everything that had gone down in Marseille, plus the ache I was feeling at Ashlyn's imminent departure, told me that this was a time to be spending with Taylor and Cassandra.

But on the surface, what they were saying was accurate. And Vivienne DID deserve better from me than what I'd been giving her over the past couple of days. Since we'd met, my French girlfriend had only been separated from me when I flew to Malibu for two nights. Now that we were back here, in this house, with all of my past life around me once again, she HAD to be freaking out a little. And if I wanted Vivienne to remain a part of my life, I knew I would have to be doing some damage control.

The question was: Now that I was Jonathan Kwong again, did I still WANT Vivienne in my life?

****

I found myself looking around as I walked from the family room across to the other side of the house, and on to the guest wing. Sometimes I forgot just how *vast* this place really was, with the high ceilings, big windows, and open architecture. Every additional square foot cost money, but money I had. And no expense had been spared in making the mansion one of the most technologically advanced and luxurious places in the world.

As I passed through the Grand Foyer, I remembered years ago when Mia Cheng had been doing the interior decoration. She'd sat me on the staircase, pressing her cheek against mine as she directed my view across a big wall she planned to put a series of paintings on.

Thinking of Mia brought to mind the first time we'd had sex, right on top of the billiards table that hadn't even been unwrapped from its plastic just yet. And I remembered how Cassandra had handpicked the young Chinese girl for me, not only because of her design aesthetic, but also because she figured to be a firecracker of a sex partner.

The private gym reminded me of Rebecca, recently married. I thought of the busty brunette's "extra-special" rewards, which usually meant me bending her over some piece of exercise equipment and blasting her glutes with my pelvic bone while my dick sawed in and out of her clenching asshole. Taylor had been the one to find her, and also to start inviting her to our little parties with Kaitlyn and Charlotte at the old 5th Avenue Penthouse.

And the guest rooms themselves reminded me of exactly who had occupied them. There were, of course, the various fashion models that would stay with us for a few nights here and there. They came to hang out with Taylor and Ashlyn, but they also came to join in our Playroom orgies and make themselves available in my personal feeding tank. Kate and Ashlyn had both become official "girlfriends", sharing my bed and pieces of my heart. And there had even been a three-month period two years ago, when Taylor and Ashlyn were hitting their third trimesters, that Stephanie Selsett (Ashlyn's tall brunette model friend) became my girlfriend for a little while.