All Comments on 'Troubled Waters: The Third Day'

I appreciate your script, out of the beaten tracks. There is a story, not romance, not raw porn. You have found a style. Please go on.

Best wishes

Jean-François

I loved all "3 Days". Keep Up the good work and continue your writing.

You definitely did write a real story, and you have every right to gloat. I hope your next opuses are as good as this one.

Glad you decided to off Thompson, he was a true git, in every sense that word has. Zdrokov was a little hard to believe being so gentle and forgiving. Glad Irina is OK. And you took the suggestion that Desiree(Karen) turned up alright. Overall very good story, but not warm and fuzzy. Excellent balance to it all

The witness protection program was a stroke of genius to allow these two sibling lovebirds to share a life together, and it fit in perfectly with the rest of the story. I enjoyed your occasional humour as well [the idea of the vasectomy to prevent "flipper-armed simpletons" had me rolling off my chair with laughter]. This was an excellent end to an excellent story - I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Very well done. I look forward to many more writings...Soon.

This was a great story and the direction into the witness protection program was the perfect way to bring the lovebirds together.

Any chance of picking the story up as a married couple in the WPP?

Thanks for all your stories I enjoy reading them

Great story. Sex was good and not too unbelievable. I like the ending.

Some of the stories I read here are either good sex and bad writing or visa versa but your had bothe (good writing and good sex I mean)

Looking forward to more of the same.

I have to say, this story was FUCKING great man! Not only did it get me off, but it was so fucking intriguing like some sort of late night murder mystery. I loved it! Great job and keep up the good work!

grat finsh incest has good and bad reactsion but I love all of it . ty leannxx

You mentioned the fact that were just so perverted. I am not a writer, but this was great. No buildup but the ending was flawless. I can hardly wait for her (loreli) prversion to show through in another chapter while in witness protection. Perhaps you could continue the story line with her in college and alex living with her..........just a thought.

I was reluctant to read this story - but I am glad I stuck with it and did. I am not very keen on coercion / aggression but, in this case, it worked. I think because the story was told so well. I am afraid that, when Zdrokov commented about all the crew being downstairs with only Irena and one other up top, it did become obvious that Lori was keeping the crew occupied for Irena to do something - although we didn't know what. Still a good ending though.

I stopped reading when the story went anal with the brother and sister at the beginning of the first page of this chapter . Bullshit. I gave it a 1 vote.

The old fart.

Dear Author, I give you credit for this being among your first attempts at writing. The bones of the story and great portions of the writing are great too! The setup is wonderful. It could have been better though. Much, much better. I would suggest a slight re-write. (The following are my observations. You are the author not me, I am merely the reader.) Brother has a magic big dick, sister is a bisexual nympho...*heavy sigh*. I could forgive the magic big dick because Mr. Z sought out men with big dicks. But the combo? No. Really liking sex and being a nympho are two different things. (I really like sex but I'm not a satyr [male nympho].) Lorelei feeling pressured to become a high end prostitute to make ends meet? Okay, I can see how she might come to that decision. Is she a freelancer or does she have a Madam? Because renting another pimps stable and then having no compunction about killing them? BAD NEWS. Mr. Z is a sex trafficker setting up bordello islands but he doesn't have his own women servicing the clients? I don't buy it. She doesn't have to be bi, she could simply be "gay for pay." The overwhelming majority of porn actors and actresses are not gay or even bi, they're straight but perform homosexual acts for money. Alex and Lorelei seeing each other and freaking but holding it together? Good. Alex defending Lorelei, his baby sister that he raised? VERY GOOD! Lorelei being ashamed that her brother is seeing her working? VERY VERY GOOD!!! You touched on and mentioned then dropped completely what working as a prostitute was doing to Lorelei. 1. The stress around her eyes. 2. She was scared of what it was doing to her. It was killing her soul. She's fucking like there's no tomorrow and loving it? Ummm...NO. She loves the endorphin rush from cuming because she's not dealing with the death of her future husband and father of her child? And the medical bills of said sickly child? HELL'S YEAH! Alex and Lorelei being scared shitless and seeking 'comfort' in each others arms at night? TOTALLY understandable! They are jealous of others being with their sibling. A little confession of her crushing on her big brother/father figure for years would have gone a long way and made more sense. Or admitting that all the deviant sex acts she'd been paid to perform in the last 8 months was corrupting her; she had progressively gotten more perverse and fucking her brother was no longer 'beyond the pale' to her and she actually wanted it. Alex admitting in the darkest part of his soul that he thought his little sister was a hottie and he wanted her? BINGO! She likes cum on her face and tits? Okay. She wants to be gang banged? WTF?! Lorelei can think of only one distraction to get everyone below decks and that is to be gang banged. Okay, I can buy that. Assuming everyone knows your fucking your sister? WTF?! Killing off Mr. Thompson? BONUS POINTS!!! Going into witness protection as husband and wife? Okay, but only if Mr. Z didn't know the truth. Big problem, all Mr. Z's lawyer has to do is say, "These two supposedly witnessed the order Mr. Z gave to kill Mr. Thompson? They are brother and sister...and...are in an incestuous relationship. Mr. Z knew this and they are trying to......" Personally I thought Alex with Irina's help would take over the whole operation or Irina with Alex's help would take over and reform it. Make it more of an "Exit to Eden" sexual fantasy kinda place(s) with strictly enforced codes of conduct. And Mr. Z, well he would be somewhere in the deep blue sea.