Unseen Love

On the other hand, what if I was good enough?

Nodding slightly, I gathered up some courage. "Let me put some sneakers on."

If I thought her smile was bright before, I was deluding myself. This one lit up my soul.

We were waiting at the elevator when she finally addressed it.

"Nice wheels, Danny. You a fan of triceratops?"

Flushing a little, I instinctively looked down at my wheelchair.

"If it doesn't actively run away from them, the kids put stickers on anything. I'm just grateful I don't have a goldfish."

"Oh, c'mon. Are you really hoping I won't believe those are your pony and unicorn stickers? I'm not kink-shaming. Being a brony is fine. Just be proud of who you are."

"What?"

"Friendship is magic, Danny."

"Okay, you got me. I'm a huge My Little Pony fan."

She giggled. "Knew it."

The doors opened and we got on the elevator.

I was too weirded out to be nervous once we got to the park. Well, not terribly nervous. It was just freaky. The park was pretty much empty. There were times when I'd go down there to write and would have to go back to the apartment because it was so crowded. And now it wasn't only empty, but I was there with Bella.

She sounded excited. "Oh, there's some benches by the statue!"

She stepped slightly behind me, reaching for the handles of my chair. Startled, I immediately grabbed the wheels before she touched the chair.

"Bella!"

She stopped, looking alarmed, and backed up a step. I felt my face turn red, my shoulders tense, as I started to stammer out an explanation.

"It... It's not a big deal. It's just that if I need help, I'll let you know. Or ask. It's... if someone has a disability, please don't just sort of do something for them. Don't take a blind person's arm without telling them or asking them. Don't start pushing someone in a wheelchair. I'm not upset. You didn't know. Just say something first, okay?"

She looked horrified. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking. When my grandma... with her, we were so in sync. I just reacted without thinking."

"Really, it's okay." I smiled at her, partially stunned by the fact that I felt like it really was okay. "You didn't know. We can talk about it. About these things."

"Okay. I am sorry. I shouldn't have. I obviously should have asked."

"Not a problem. Now you know. It's partially my fault. I tell all my brony friends up front."

She slapped my shoulder lightly and walked at my side as we went over to the benches.

We sat down and she unpacked the reusable Sobeys bag that held our lunch. We had some sandwiches and chatted about nothing. Both of us tried to keep it light. We didn't want to venture into anything that might be problematic.

"So, how many cons do you go to in a typical year?"

"For travel stuff? They have a big expo in Montreal and another in Vegas. I usually make one or the other."

"No, for your hobby."

"Oh! My Little Pony. Yeah, I go to all of them. Every other weekend. I dress up as a unicorn and stuff."

She laughed. "Do you even know anything about My Little Pony?"

"Of course. It has ponies. And little girls. And unicorns and grooms? People that brush their coats? Okay, no. I saw a couple of episodes with Felicia."

She didn't reply. I tapped my fingers against my thigh, shifting nervously.

"Why are you staring at me?"

Smiling, she just tilted her head. "I just like your eyes."

"Oh. Um, okay. Thanks."

"So, Mr. Travel Expert Guy, any good falafel places around here?"

"Sure. There's a few. I'll send you links. What's your favourite food?"

"Hmmm. Not sure. Maybe green chilli?"

"What's green chilli?"

"Chili verde."

"Yeah, that doesn't help."

"Danny, you've never had chilli verde?"

"Nope."

"Ugh. Canadian heathen. I'll make some. Mom'll send me her recipe. It's big in Colorado. It's a chilli made with tomatillos and hatch peppers."

"It's good?"

"No, it's horrible. That's why it's my favourite."

I laughed. "Okay. I'll see if I can find a place around here that makes some."

"Don't bother. I'll make us a big pot. Can you get your farm friends to get the ingredients?"

"Probably, sure."

"Or I... We can just get them from the supermarket."

She sounded concerned and it took me a minute to figure out why. It wasn't ever going to be easy to talk about those things, but I could do it now. I was ready.

"Bella, I know that it might seem otherwise, but I'm not made of glass. We can talk about farms or the wheelchair or anything else you want to. I'm not going to break or get angry."

Bella smiled. It was a small, almost grim smile, but her eyes were bright and hopeful. "Okay. We're going to navigate through this."

We finished our meal and headed back. As we went, she put her hand on my shoulder, pulled it away and then put it back.

"Is this okay?"

I looked at her hand and smiled. "Fine."

She grinned. "I mean, I guess it doesn't really count as social distancing."

I laughed. "I haven't seen anyone in person since... um, well, it's been a lot longer than two weeks. I think you're probably safe."

"Neither have I. Anyway, it's not me who has to worry about being safe."

I tensed a bit, though Bella didn't seem to notice.

"It's you. You're the one who agreed to go out with the pervert who lives next door."

Startled, I chuckled and relaxed. Her hand squeezed my shoulder, the pressure soft and comforting.

We didn't say much more until we were back on our floor of the apartment, pausing in front of my closed apartment door.

"Well, um, this is my stop," I joked awkwardly.

"I know," she said. "I'm waiting for you to unlock the door. Oh, did I not tell you I'm coming over? Sorry. I haven't seen anyone for weeks so I decided my best friend and I are hanging out all afternoon."

Saying my heart soared felt a little cliché, but it did. I held back as much of my smile as I could and nodded, unlocking the door and inviting her in.

She instinctively knew where everything was. Aside from a few modifications to make the unit more accessible, hers was the same layout as mine. Bella strolled in as though it was the most natural thing in the world, kicking her shoes off and toeing them out of the way before placing the Sobeys bag that had held our picnic on the kitchen counter.

"Nice place," she said. "Love the layout."

I snorted and gestured to the living room. "Make yourself comfortable."

She didn't sit, instead examining my bookshelf and grinning as she pulled a title off. "I didn't peg you for a Stephen King kind of guy."

"'Misery' becomes a lot more terrifying when you have that personal connection," I explained awkwardly. "It, um... it's kind of weird, I guess."

Bella shrugged, looking over her shoulder to grin at me. "It's not that weird. Anyway, it's a hell of a good book."

She put it back and looked down at the next shelf. "Hey! Scrabble!"

"It's missing a few tiles," I muttered. "Felicia was spelling out her vocabulary words one day and we never confirmed it, but I think John swallowed one of the Q's."

"That's okay. When I beat you at Words With Friends, it'll be immortalized in our stats. There wouldn't be any proof if I won in person."

I laughed again. She was stalling, I was sure of it, dancing around the issue and the awkwardness. When she turned away from the bookshelf and met my eye, I cleared my throat.

"Why don't we talk?" I suggested.

Bella took a shallow breath and nodded.

"I'm sorry I reacted the way I did," I started. "And I'm sorry you had to hear the story from Mark. And I'm sorry it took me, um, basically two weeks to finally reach out. Mostly, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I was so wrapped up in—"

"Let me stop you there."

I fell silent, looking at her nervously.

"Danny, I'm not gonna lie to you. I was pissed. I felt awful that I'd done something to hurt you, but I was really hurt, too. I didn't know what I'd done wrong and I felt like... I just wanted to know why you were so upset."

I nodded, swallowing hard.

"When Mark sent that message, it made sense. I felt even worse because I was so angry and I didn't feel like it was rational to be that mad."

"It was rational," I said. "I was a complete dick."

"You didn't handle things super well," she admitted. "And it's hard because I don't really know what to say now. You said you wouldn't break or get mad if we talked about things but... how do I really know that?"

"You don't," I said. "That's on me. I need to make a change in how I view things. And I'm trying, Bella. I promise. I mean, it's only been a day that I've been trying this new way of thinking, which doesn't sound like much, but it's the longest I've gone since..." I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Since I lost the use of my legs."

It was a simple sentence, but I couldn't remember if I'd ever said those words out loud before. Bella looked at me for a moment. I couldn't bring myself to hold her gaze and looked down, staring at my legs.

"I know that sounds pretty pathetic," I said. "I don't expect you to forgive me or, I dunno, continue with whatever we were doing before or anything. I just want you to know I'm sorry and, I mean, if we can still be friends then—"

"Oh, I thought I'd made that clear," Bella interrupted.

I frowned and looked up. "What?"

She smiled and it was like my body started melting. "You're forgiven already, Danny. And as for continuing with whatever we were doing before, well, I've decided we're dating now."

I choked on a laugh. "We are?"

"Mm-hmm. You took me on a nice picnic like half an hour ago, remember?" She slapped her thigh. "Oh, I see why you're confused. I said I was going to spend the afternoon with my best friend. I should've told you then that you're my boyfriend now."

"Am I?" I couldn't keep the shock out of my voice.

Bella laughed, her eyes flashing mischievously. "Yep."

I couldn't describe the feeling rushing through me. The most beautiful girl in the entire world was standing a few feet away from me, in my apartment, smiling and saying I was her boyfriend. Fuck walking, I felt like I could fly.

"Okay," I said. "I like that."

She burst out laughing. "You better." The smile faded slightly off her face and that strange, tense nervousness settled over us again. "Now, um, remember that whole thing where I told you I wanted to, um, touch you?"

My mouth went dry, dropping open just a bit.

"Is it... too soon?" she whispered.

My heart started racing and I shook my head.

Bella chuckled softly. "Oh, good. Because honestly, Danny, if I'd known how fucking hot you are a few weeks ago, I don't think I could have managed to stay away from you."

Another step closer. My pants were starting to feel tight.

"Damn," I stammered. "I should've sent you a picture way earlier."

She smiled, her eyes sparkling before going serious for a moment. "Is there anything I should know before we, um..." She hesitated, then shook her head and grinned. "Before I jump your bones completely?"

"Uh..." I stared for a moment longer. "I guess, um, you should know that I'm in a wheelchair."

She laughed, startled, and I chuckled a bit.

"I mean, everything, um, works. If that's what you mean. You knew that, I mean, the stuff on the balcony was, um. Well. I don't have a spinal cord injury, it's... my legs." I swallowed, suddenly nervous. "They're not, they don't look good. Just, so you know. I can't really, I mean, um, there's stuff we'd have to modify or, um—"

"Danny," she said softly, and I stopped stuttering. "Is this, um, your first—"

"No," I said quickly, my face turning red. "No, I've done... it's not the first time."

"You don't need to be embarrassed around me." Bella took a final step forward, bringing her directly in front of me. "We can talk about things, it's okay."

"Okay."

She smiled again. "I'm going to kiss you now, okay?"

I nodded. She leaned forward, touching my face as she brought her lips to mine, and my heart nearly stopped when she pressed them against me. It was like warmth spread through my body. Moments earlier, my cock had been hardening as she built up the anticipation. Now, her mouth was on mine, her hand was touching my cheek, and it was like being touched for the first time.

All too soon, she pulled back a bit, eyes wide and earnest as she looked into mine.

"Still okay?"

I didn't respond. Instead, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her towards me. Bella squealed, steadying herself on my shoulders as she tumbled onto my lap, and seconds later she was kissing me again, her breath hot against mine.

"I'm okay," I murmured against her mouth. "Are you?"

"This is definitely not social distancing," she responded, giggling before kissing me again and shifting in my lap so her legs were over the side of my chair. I groaned softly as her ass brushed against my cock, feeling Bella smile against my mouth, and wrapped my arm around her, holding her close.

We stayed that way for some time, just kissing, until Bella moved one hand off my shoulder and brought it down to the one I had resting on her hip.

"You can touch me, you know," she whispered, and she started guiding my hand to her stomach.

I had to stop kissing her to watch as she directed my hand up her body, staring as my fingers brushed against the fabric of her shirt before she pressed my hand to her breast. My hand instinctively cupped her and I squeezed gently, mesmerized by the feel of her breast in my palm. When I glanced back up, Bella was biting back a smile.

"Maybe we should go, um, to the couch," I suggested hoarsely.

She didn't slide off my lap until she'd stolen another kiss. I followed her, only slightly self-conscious as I moved from my chair to the couch, and as soon as I'd sat down Bella was back in my lap, thighs on either side of mine so she could face me.

Again she kissed me. Her body pressed against mine, her legs parted, and she started grinding delightfully against my stiff cock. I groaned again and she kissed me harder, running her hands through my hair and down my neck.

Despite her telling me I could touch her, I was still hesitant. At first, I just rested my hands against her thighs. As she moved, though, I grew bolder, sliding them along her jeans to her hips, then up to the waistband of her pants. She noticed my brief moment of hesitation as I touched the hem of her shirt.

"Let me help," she murmured.

Before I could even say anything, she lifted her shirt over her head, and suddenly I was staring at a pair of breasts encased in a lacy purple bra, pale and perky and absolutely perfect.

I couldn't believe what was happening.

"Holy fuck," I breathed.

Bella smiled, but didn't say anything as she again took my hand and brought it up to her breast. I kissed her eagerly, exploring her warm, soft breasts with my fingers, parting from her lips only when I needed more than just my hands.

She gasped as I pressed my face against her cleavage, kissing her scorching skin. I groaned softly against her, reaching around to unclasp her bra. It took two tries, but I unhooked it, and Bella helped slide it down her arms, revealing her naked breasts to me for the first time.

I couldn't speak, mostly because I immediately took one of her nipples in my mouth and sucked it lightly. Bella moaned, a breathy little noise, and pushed her breasts against my face. Her fingers ran through my hair again, sending shivers down my spine as her nails trailed against my scalp. She rolled her hips, friction against my cock causing both of us to gasp, and I wrapped my arms around her waist to hug her as close to me as I could.

Things grew more urgent; I had to stop kissing Bella's nipples when she started pulling my shirt up, and didn't get back to them before she kissed me again. She ran her hands down my chest and back up to my shoulders, smiling as she felt the muscles on my biceps.

She did it again, and again, until finally I couldn't take it anymore.

"Bella," I groaned. "I want you so bad."

She made a soft noise, kissing me hard before sliding off my lap. Her eyes didn't leave mine as she undid her jeans, shimmying them down her hips and revealing the sexiest purple panties I'd ever seen in my life.

"Should I take these off too, or did you just want to stare?" she teased.

"Maybe just a little longer..." I mumbled, unable to tear my eyes away from the scrap of purple fabric. More specifically, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the darkened patch of wetness between her legs.

Bella laughed, swayed her hips back and forth a few times, and turned around. My eyes moved up and down her body, taking in every inch of her, every perfect curve and adorable freckle and stretch of pale skin. When she turned back around, I met her eyes.

"Can I take them off now?" she breathed.

I nodded. She slipped her panties down and I nearly lost my mind. I didn't, but there was a beautiful, flawless, naked woman standing in my living room. Anyone would have nearly lost their damn mind. I couldn't think of anything but her body. There was no space in my mind for nervousness or anxiety or self-doubt; it was consumed with Bella's form, absorbing every detail of her as quickly and completely as it could.

"You're perfect," I mumbled. "Holy fuck, Bella."

She bit her lip, stepping forward again. "Now you?" she asked.

And just like that, the nerves came back. Bella was naked; to move forward, I needed to be at least mostly naked, too. She would see everything: every scar from hopeful surgeons determined to repair the damage; every scar from discouraged surgeons valiantly trying to reconstruct my mangled legs into something resembling a human limb. Every puckered expanse of skin that didn't heal properly, every discoloured patch, every twisted, strange, unnatural angle that encased shattered bones and split tendons and shredded nerves.

Bella sensed it. She leaned forward, brushing her fingers through my hair again as she kissed me.

"Tell me what's wrong," she whispered.

"You're going to be grossed out," I breathed.

"Not a chance." She pressed another soft kiss against my mouth.

"You don't know that."

She kissed me harder. "Danny, nothing about you grosses me out."

I tried to talk myself through it. What was the worst that could happen? She could laugh. She could puke. What if she pitied me? What if she took one look at my legs and realized she could easily find someone better than me? What if she just stood up, got dressed, and left?

Or, what if she didn't?

I took a deep breath, undoing my pants with sweating, shaking hands. Bella stayed leaning over me, her mouth still against mine, only moving when I shifted to slide my jeans down my hips.

She needed to step back a bit so I could take my pants off the rest of the way. I didn't look up at her, just focused on removing them. Once they were off, I steeled myself before looking back up at her.

She wasn't looking at my legs. Bella was still looking at me, smiling softly, and didn't even flick her eyes down before bringing herself back onto my lap.

"Aren't you...?"

She shook her head. "Danny, I wasn't joking. You don't gross me out. I'm not a monster, you know."

My face turned red. "I didn't mean—"

"I know." Bella smirked, giggling as she ran her hands through my hair again. "It's okay. Thank you for trusting me. I know this must have been hard for you. Luckily, there's something else that's hard, and I'd much rather focus on that, wouldn't you?"

She punctuated her sentence by rolling her hips and letting my cock slide along her hot, wet slit.

Nerves? What nerves?

I wrapped my arms around her, her skin smooth against mine, her nipples pressing against my chest. Her body was amazing, fitting against me perfectly. Her lips pressed to my neck, kissing up to my jaw, and then she was whispering in my ear as she rolled her hips again.