Ventura's Highway

"So where shall we go?" Jordyn asked once they were finally outside.

"There's a bar and/or a nightclub on every corner. We could just walk until we find one. Or...we could just walk," Sawyer suggested.

It was almost always pleasant in LA at night. It rarely got really cold and tonight was no exception. It was cool and dry and Jordyn was happy to walk as long as it wasn't too far because she was wearing heels and long walks in them weren't a whole lot of fun.

"You've asked me several times already why I stay," Sawyer said after they picked a direction and started walking.

"It's really none of my business," Jordyn said wishing she hadn't kept asking him.

"It's a fair question, and I'll be happy to answer it if you'll tell me what keeps you here."

"Oh, wow. Now that is the proverbial $64,000 question," she said with a smile as she looked over and up at him.

"I love your eyes," he said catching her completely off guard again.

Jordyn looked away as she said, "Oh. Um...thank you."

"No, I mean it. Your eyes are so...captivating," he said not letting it go.

She stopped and turned toward him then said, "Sawyer, you're a gorgeous, up-and-coming male model and I'm...I'm an executive assistant...an older executive assistant, at that, working for a famous writer. I can't compete with you when it comes to looks so when you say something like that, I feel so...I don't know...silly and...plain."

"Hold on there, Sparky!" he said. "That's nonsense. You're anything but plain."

He stopped talking and stared into her eyes then gently touched her cheek.

"You're so...unassuming," he told her quietly. "You really have no idea just how beautiful you are, do you?"

"Oh, sure I do and...I'm not," she said in reply. "I've been around this town for quite a few years, Sawyer. I've seen many, many men and women who are so perfect they look fake. I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I know where I fit in, and I am not...beautiful. I know I'm not...ugly, but I'm not beautiful in the same way you are, and I'm okay with that."

"And that's what I find most appealing about you, Jordyn Stevens," he told her as he ran a finger along her cheek and then over her soft, full lips. "I'm 'up to here' with the phony, plastic-banana types; the cookie-cutter women who all look and act the same. Hell, I even hate the way I look because it's so...phony. I'd prefer to just be a decent-looking guy who didn't look like...this."

"I don't understand," Jordyn said as embers came to life inside her. "You're gorgeous, Sawyer. You're drop-dead gorgeous."

"No, that's the point. That's how I look, not who I am. I'm just a simple guy from a small town in North Carolina who's lived all over the place who feels lost and...all alone in this cold, impersonal town I really, truly hate. I'm let myself end up in a relationship with a woman I can't stand because she's everything I hate about money and fame and all the crap that goes with it. And worst of all, I let myself get sucked into it when I knew I didn't really want any part of it. And last night she started in on her 'America sucks' bull shit and that's my last straw."

He put his hand on her cheek then said, "I just want to be happy, Jordyn, and this life does not make me happy."

Jordyn had 'been' with her share of attractive men. Many had been very attractive, but none of them had been this good looking. And yet that wasn't what was causing her to feel the way she was feeling. It was his simple, brutal honesty and the way he seemed to already know himself and what he wanted at such a young age.

There was also a childlike innocence about him that made him even more desirable to her. The fact that he was patriotic without being jingoistic was another huge 'selling' point in Jordyn's mind and she understood quite well how he felt about someone who felt ashamed of the country they lived in and off of which they were getting rich.

"If not those things, what does make you happy, Sawyer?" she asked unable to look at him even as those thoughts and more streamed through her mind. Her body trembled as he continued to touch her face without ever taking his eyes off of her.

"You," he said quietly. "You are the first thing...the first person...that's made me happy since I arrived here."

"That doesn't make any sense," she said barely able to talk. "I don't understand how someone like you could even..."

Jordyn was very aware she was being kissed, and yet her mind couldn't accept it was happening so she stood there and let herself be kissed but couldn't kiss him back.

"Obviously I don't have quite the same effect on you as you do on me," he said without being mean as he pulled back.

"Why...did you just...kiss me?" she said nearly stammering as her eyes moved rapidly back and forth between his as she finally looked at him.

"I've wanted to kiss you since the first time we talked, Jordyn. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you ever since. And here you are standing right in front of me—so genuine, so real, and so...beautiful. How could I not want to kiss you?" he asked as he gently played with her hair. "But since you didn't kiss me back, I guess that pretty much sums it..."

Jordyn raised her arm and put her hand behind his head then stood on her toes and pulled him to her and kissed him while he was still talking.

Sawyer stopped talking and put his arms around her and kissed her back for several seconds before Jordyn moved away and said, "Was that any better?"

"Much better," he said with a smile. "Amazing, even. But you still haven't told me what keeps you here in this city working 80 hours a week with no social life."

"I have a social life," Jordyn said defensively.

"Oh, okay," Sawyer said. "So...working from 6am to 10 or 11pm six or seven days a week leaves you time for a social life. I see."

"I'm good at what I do," she said looking for a way to make him understand. Or...was it to convince herself she meant what she was saying?

"You'd have to be good at what you do to work for the Ice Princess. So let's stipulate you're the best at what you do. Why do you do it? No offense, but it can't be the money. You can get close to fame and maybe power to some degree, but you have neither. So...what's the motivation, Jordyn? What's the hook?"

He put his hand on her face again then said, "Help me understand."

Suddenly very self-conscious Jordyn stepped back a bit and said, "Ventura has eyes everywhere, Sawyer, and you're involved with her daughter. I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Wow, you're really good at dodging questions. You could be a politician," Sawyer told her but not in a rude way.

"No need to get vicious," Jordyn said pretending to be offended at the comparison.

"If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. And yes, I am involved with Courtney. But that's going to change. Soon. I promise you that. She can find some dope-smoking Hollywood activist type and they can sit around and run down the greatest country on earth, but I am so done with her shit."

"Some things are easier said than done, Sawyer," Jordyn said as they continued walking.

"I've done a lot of thinking lately, and there's no way I can see myself with Courtney—or anyone like her. Uh-uh. Never again."

"What attracted you to her in the first place?"

"She was so different when we first met. She was a senior at Stanford and someone invited her to one of my shoots. She kept all of her political BS to herself and I enjoyed talking with her. Back then, she was always so happy and fun to be around—charming even and so down to earth. And I have to admit I knew her mom was well-connected, and I was still so caught up the whole 'lives of the rich and famous' things, my moral compass took a real beating. But once we started to get more serious, things changed."

"How so?"

"She wanted to control me. It's was really subtle at first. 'You'd look better in the blue tie than the red' or something like that. Then she wanted to know where I was going or doing whenever we weren't together. At first, it was just annoying. I didn't really think too much about it."

"Okay, so...what else changed?"

Sawyer snorted. "I met her mother. It was, I don't know, like she adopted me for life. I'm assuming she told Courtney not to let me get away or something similar, and that's when the controlling thing got to be too much. On top of that, there's no way I can see myself staying here or God forbid, living in New York, even if Courtney was someone I could stand to be with."

"I've been there a couple of times on business," she said without explanation.

Sawyer ignored her comment and said, "I really believed I wanted this life, and I was willing to do pretty much anything get it; even putting up someone like Courtney. But now that I have it, all I want is out—and to have all the things I don't have."

"Such as?" Jordyn asked.

"Some land. True love. Peace of mind. Genuine satisfaction. Real friends who care. In other words—reality."

"I admit those things are in short supply around here," she said as she looked over at him.

He looked back at her and said quietly but directly, "And most of all, I want someone like...you...to share my life with."

Jordyn wasn't used to feeling flustered as she really had been around plenty of attractive, well-off people, but Sawyer was a 'different animal', and she couldn't ever remember any man making her feel like that before.

She again ignored his comment about her and said in a teasing kind of way, "Ahh, a 'grass is greener on the other side' kind of guy, eh?"

"Not anymore. If I hadn't come out here and seen it for myself you might be right. But having seen the grass on both sides—or the asphalt in the case of Los Angeles—I can definitely tell you which side is greener. All I know is I haven't enjoyed myself since I moved here. With two brief exceptions, that is."

Jordyn understood he meant his time with her and didn't comment.

Instead she asked, "And what does your life look like on land you own in North Carolina with someone to share it with?"

"For starters, I get up early and work hard all day. I do something I can look back on each night and feel proud of; things I can measure the progress of by something more than a paycheck. And...most importantly, I share my life that special someone I love more than life itself."

"Sounds idyllic," she said with a smile.

"Oh, it gets better. Or worse—depending on your outlook," he warned her.

"I'm listening."

"I already told you, remember?"

She remembered every word.

"A couple of kids and maybe even a dog, right?" she said proving she had.

"Yes. Is that too much to ask?"

"In general or of Courtney?" she said drawing the distinction.

"Courtney would never leave LA unless it was for New York or maybe London, but that's a long way away from Mommy Dearest. And as far as living with her, as I said, this is my dream. Life with her would my nightmare."

Jordyn laughed and said, "Sounds like all you need to do is get out of Dodge and find the right woman."

He reached for her hand and when she gave it to him he said, "Or find the right woman and then get out of Dodge," he said with a smile before adding, "Maybe I already have."

"Sawyer, please. I'm not her. I...I can't be. You've been so sweet telling me I'm, you know...pretty, but let's be honest, shall we? I'm quite a bit older than you, and then there's the whole 'you're totally freaking gorgeous but I'm not' thing."

"What's your point?" he said with a smile.

"Oh, it gets worse," she replied with a smile of her own as she stole his line. "You barely even know me, Sawyer."

"I know you come from a good family. I know you and share important values. I know you're willing to work hard at something, and what takes more hard work than marriage?" he said trying to make his case.

"Um...okay. Continue," Jordyn said quietly, impressed enough to willingly listen.

He stopped her and turned to face her again.

"My gut tells me that deep down, you're a small-town girl, Jordyn. I think that, like me, you're a fish out of water. But unlike me, you won't admit it. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm betting there's some underlying reason you stay here and put up with all this...crap...when it isn't really you. And I'm also willing to bet that if I the more time I'd find out what it is and eventually change your mind."

Jordyn was stunned by how close he'd come to the truth. Her father had told her repeatedly that it didn't matter what she did, she just needed to do it better than anyone else. He'd also taught her that luck was where opportunity and preparation meet.

She'd never planned on becoming an executive assistant, but when opportunity knocked, she was ready; she was prepared. And it had been such a challenge that it became a kind of game to stay a step ahead of the partners; to not only meet but exceed their expectations. And she'd done it; consistently and well, and that kind of success soon became its own reward. It really was like a drug in that sense.

So now here she was answering opportunity's knock again with the job as Ventura Collins's executive assistant, and after just a couple of weeks, she already knew she could handle the job so why was she staying? Talking with Sawyer, she was acutely aware that if she stuck with it, another five or even ten years might well fly by after which she'd look back and ask, "What was that all about, and what do I have to show for it?"

She found herself once again wrestling with fundamental questions like: would there ever be time for the family she dreamed about? Would work consume her to the point where love would pass her by? Would she ever hold a baby in her arms that she carried and gave birth to or would she settle for occasionally holding someone else's child and telling the other woman how adorable her baby was?

She was so thoroughly confused she could no longer think straight.

"I should probably get home, Sawyer," she ended up saying. "I'm going to need to be in by 5am and even though I do quite well on just 4-5 hours of sleep, I do need to get some sleep."

"Can I get a cab for you?" he asked without protest thereby impressing her even more.

"That would be very nice of you," she told him.

As they waited in silence, Jordyn glanced at him several times and saw something more than the most beautiful face (and body) she'd ever seen. She saw a man with the kind of moral character she'd been raised to admire. She saw someone who valued the same things she did—or at least the way she used to before she jumped onto the hamster wheel she now called her life.

It didn't take long to flag down a taxi, and as Sawyer opened the door for her he said, "I'd like to see you again, Jordyn."

"Sawyer, you need to resolve things with Courtney. If and when that's done, we'll see, okay?"

"Things are going to change and soon. And I will be asking. I can promise you that," he said with another smile.

He stood there looking at her then said, "In the meantime, please ask yourself if this life is what you really want. I may not be the right guy for you, but in my heart of hearts, I think I might just be, and I'd like nothing more than the chance to find out. Regardless, there is a right guy out there somewhere, and if you're whole life is just spent working, you'll never meet him and, well, that'll be his loss even more than yours."

Jordyn stood there looking at back him and suddenly she wanted him to kiss her again more than anything she could ever remember. But she didn't tell him because she couldn't. Instead she smiled and thanked him for a very pleasant time.

Just as she got in, she looked up and said, "I have to admit you've forced me to do some thinking, Sawyer."

"Good. Thinking is good. Just don't over think things, okay?" he said.

He bent down and kissed her on the cheek and told her goodnight before closing her door.

When she got home, Jordyn went to straight to bed but couldn't fall asleep. She lay there unable to stop thinking about the things Sawyer had said, and at 3:30am, she gave up. She threw the covers back, got up, took a shower, got dressed, and went back to work.

She'd gone without sleep many times in the past, but she hated the way it made her brain feel all 'foggy'. Even simple tasks took longer while the harder ones became very difficult. Still, she was caught up by 7am then started in on the current day's tasks.

She was more than a little surprised to see Ventura arrive at 8:30, well before her normal time to arrive at the office. She had her own private entrance so Jordyn's first indication she was in was her voice calling out, "Jordyn? Black coffee and then I want to see you."

She was on the phone calling for coffee the second she heard Ventura's voice and walked in ready to take notes.

"Sit down and listen," her boss said with an icy edge to her voice.

She stared at Jordyn then said, "What happened last night between you and Sawyer?"

Jordyn's fog immediately melted away as she imagined someone from TMZ or God knows where having seen Sawyer kiss her or worse—her kissing him then forwarding the video to Ventura.

"Um...he stopped by and wanted to talk so..."

"He called off the wedding last night! It was after midnight, for God's sake. He said he'd been talking with you, Jordyn, right before he called Courtney and told her they needed to talk. She actually thought he was planning to propose at that crazy hour! Formally, that is. We already had an understanding, but... Anyway, my daughter is heartbroken and she thinks you had something to do with it. So...did you?"

Jordyn ignored Ventura's use of 'we' as though she was the one in a relationship with Sawyer and did her best to recount the conversation as honestly but as generically as possible.

Ventura listened for a while then cut her off going back to the point about Jordyn being the cause of the breakup.

"I told Courtney that was ridiculous for several reasons, not the least of which is there is no way in hell a guy as gorgeous as Sawyer Godwin would be interested in...no offense, mind you...a woman like you. Let's be brutally honest, here, shall we? You're nearly twice his age, for heaven's sake, and you're an executive assistant whereas my daughter is young and gorgeous and a Stanford girl. And yes, she's also my daughter and we both know you can't compete with that kind of resume."

Jordyn swallowed hard and said, "Thank you, Ventura," not sure what it was she was thanking her for.

"But I get the impression you know more than you're telling me, Jordyn, so I'll ask you again, and I want the truth. Is there another woman? Did he provide the name or tell you what modeling agency she's with? Some...emaciated supermodel who's caught his wandering eye? Does he think because he's had one big job he's 'made it' and no longer needs me or my help? Can he be so naive as to think he can get by on his own without this city chewing him up and spitting him out? Seriously???"

Jordyn knew Ventura had had nothing do with any of Sawyer's success, but she did know there was another woman. At least according to what Sawyer had told her, anyway. But there was no way she was going to mention who it was to Ventura even if that meant costing her her job.

"He's just...disillusioned with the city, Ventura. He's a small-town guy. A...fish out of..."

"Oh, give me a freaking break!" she said cutting Jordyn off. "Everyone is a big-city person once they get a taste of money and success. If he's too stupid to see how important a girl like Courtney can be to his continued success, then perhaps he's not the kind of man I want marrying my daughter anyway. What does he think he's gonna do? Go back and buy a team of mules and plant crops, for God's sake? Give me a freaking break already!"