Ventura's Highway

Her coffee arrived and Jordyn hoped it would distract her enough that she could slip out.

"Two sugars," Ventura said as the unlucky kitchen staff member sent up poured her coffee. The younger man looked at Jordyn who shook her head ever-so slightly.

He set a pack of artificial sweetener by the cup and asked if he might be excused.

"Yes, fine. Go on. Get out of here!" she said waving dismissively.

"I want you to find out what's going on with Sawyer," Ventura told Jordyn once the office was clear.

Jordyn knew more instructions were coming.

"I want you to have dinner with him. Tonight. Put it on your expense account. Just find out what's really going on with him, Jordyn. I can't stand to see my daughter hurting like this. She's done nothing but be supportive and that rube, that...ingrate...goes and breaks her heart. There wasn't even any warning! He just sat her down and told her he didn't love her anymore and that they were through. What kind of man does that, for heaven's sake?"

She stared right at Jordyn then said, "Are you sure he didn't mention someone else?"

"Um, no. I'm very sure he did not mention anyone...else, Ventura," Jordyn told her knowing Sawyer hadn't said anyone's name besides hers and Courtney's unless 'Mommy Dearest' counted.

"All right. Then you have your marching orders. Call him. Make this happen. Don't take 'no' for an answer. And find out who this...this bitch is who's ruining my daughter's life!"

"Ventura, I have a ton of things to do this evening preparing for our first stops on your book tour," Jordyn said.

"The postpone them!" Ventura said angrily. "The goddamn book tour can wait! My little girl's happiness can't! Now go!"

Jordyn had heard about Ventura's tirades and wondered if this qualified or if she could be even more demanding in other situations.

"I'll take care of it," Jordyn said as she stood up to leave.

"Oh, and since you'll be representing me, buy yourself something decent to wear. Something that doesn't look like it came from Target or...WalMart or wherever you buy those clothes of yours."

She saw Jordyn look at her, and didn't understand the confusion so she bellowed, "Yes, you can put those things on the expense account, too! Now...go!"

Jordyn went back to her desk and started looking at how to shift Ventura's schedule around when she heard her holler, "When I said 'go', I meant all the way out of the office! You can call him on your way to Jami Lyn's or some other designer boutique!"

Jordyn knew exactly where the upscale boutique was located as she'd been sent there more than once to buy a 'surprise' gift for one of the partner's wives (or girlfriends.) Just the thought of how much a single dress cost took her breath away. She'd also need shoes and accessories and...oh, right. She'd need to call Sawyer.

As she rode in a taxi across town she scrolled through her contacts and found his number. She took a deep breath and hit 'dial' then waited.

"Jordyn?" he said with pleasant surprise when he picked up.

"Well, you've created quite the firestorm, young man," she said skipping any pleasantries.

"Oh. I take it you've heard the good news."

"You could say that," she said.

"I told you things were going to change soon, didn't I?"

"You did indeed," she told him.

"So to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" he asked. "And what time is it anyway?"

"It's...9:23...am," Jordyn told him. "And Ventura wants me to have dinner with you tonight."

"Wow. Now that is my dream...come true," he said in a way that told her he was smiling.

"Sawyer. Be serious. Ventura is...pissed! Courtney told her she thinks I'm responsible for this."

"Well, you kind of are, you know," he said still smiling.

"Stop! I'm not kidding. Ventura told her that was ridiculous because I'm, you know...too old and too...everything...which is rich-speak for me being nothing."

"But why does she want you to have dinner with me?" he asked unable to connect the dots.

"Because although Ventura 'knows' I'm not the other woman, she's convinced there is one and it's my job to provide her a name. She thinks you're being distracted by some mindless bimbo or maybe a even a supermodel."

"Well, she kind of is a supermodel—in my book anyway. She's just nowhere near mindless. In fact, she's one of the most intelligent people I know."

"You're not helping, Sawyer. I could lose my job over this," Jordyn said trying not to sound as exasperated as she felt.

"Well, at least you'd be free to run away to North Carolina with me then, right?" he said much too happily.

"I'm on my way to Jami Lyn's to buy a 'decent dress' to wear. Can you pick a restaurant and the time and get back to me? Please?"

"Is Ventura paying?" he asked clearly having too much fun.

"Yes. She's paying. Otherwise, I'd have to take out a loan to afford the dress—or dinner."

"I meant the meal, but okay. So, in that case...have you been to The Perch?" he asked.

"Yes. Once," she told him. "When a junior partner made senior partner."

"Great. So you know where it is. I'll meet you there at 8 o'clock. Oh, you may need to call and drop Ventura's name. Getting a table on short notice is pretty much impossible without connections. You know, like everything else in this god-forsaken town."

"You're making my life very difficult," Jordyn told him.

"If you'd listen to your heart instead of your head, it would make things a whole a lot easier," he told her.

"And what would my heart be telling me considering hearts do nothing but pump blood?" she said with a dose of agitation.

"Tell you what. You listen carefully to it all day. If it doesn't speak to you, I'll tell you what it wants you to know after dinner. How's that? Oh, and please don't go to a designer boutique. I love the clothes you wear because they remind me not everyone is this city is a pompous, pretentious...ass."

He softened his tone then said, "I like they way you dress, Jordyn. In fact, I like everything about you so please don't change a thing, okay?"

Jordyn made a kind of 'harumph' noise and said, "I'll see you at 8," and hung up.

She was happy to skip going to the boutique but also a little afraid to defy Ventura. Sawyer's urging and her need for sleep combined to win out over a new dress so she asked the driver to change directions and take her home. With nearly an entire day with nothing left to but but call the restaurant and get ready, she sat back, closed her eyes and listened as hard as she could as though her heart would suddenly start speaking to her.

"Lady? We're here," Jordyn heard a male voice say startling her back to reality—her favorite new word.

Her eyes had been closed the entire ride. She'd drifted off and had no idea she was home. She handed the driver $50 and told him to keep the change. He thanked her, and once the door was closed, the taxi drove off.

Jordyn needed sleep in the worst kind of way, and although she hated wasting time sleeping, she knew it was critically important to be able to think clearly that evening. She set her alarm for 4 o'clock, took an Ambien, and woke up a little more than five hours later feeling refreshed until she realized why was she home during the day, and that her job was quite literally on the line.

As she showered again, Jordyn spent some time thinking about her life, her job, her family back in Oregon, and most importantly her dreams. She also couldn't stop thinking about Sawyer and the things he'd said or how he'd seemingly been able to read her mind. She knew that was impossible so either he was insightful to a degree she'd never seen before, or he was just putting two and two together. After all, she was a never-married, 35-year old woman who did want a family of her own, so it wasn't like it was some kind of big mystery.

In a rare moment of brutal honesty, Jordyn had to admit that having a family was something she really, really wanted. She also knew that while having a family didn't necessarily require a husband, it would mean that for her as she would never adopt a child on her own or have one if the man wasn't going to be there to willingly help her raise it.

As she got dressed, the last thing she thought of before returning her focus to work was something else her father had taught her.

Jordyn loved the dress she chose and the fact that it was as pretty as any designer outfit she'd ever seen at a fraction of the cost.

It was a kind of pastel peach color with an open-back and spaghetti straps. It was knee length and made of soft chiffon and jersey fabrics with bra cups allowing her to go braless. It was sexy yet still appropriate, and with a single strand of white pearls it would be perfect for the occasion. Best of all, she'd found it for less than a hundred bucks at a store Ventura or Courtney wouldn't be caught dead in. Even with the three-inch matching heels her ensemble cost less than two-hundred dollars.

"Who needs designer couture anyway?" she thought as she took a final look at herself in the mirror. At 35, she was still a size 6 with a very firm butt and an equally firm set of perky, full-B cup breasts.

She thought about wearing a cardigan over it, then asked herself what was the sense of wearing an open-back dress if she was just going to cover it up? She slung the sweater over her arm—just in case—then grabbed her purse and went outside to hail a cab.

After yet another taxi ride across the city, Jordyn arrived at The Perch promptly at 8pm. Waiting for her was a rather casually-dressed but still-gorgeous, Sawyer Godwin.

"Well, good evening!" he said the moment he saw her. "Wow! You look incredible, Jordyn."

"Thank you," she said.

"I expected Brooks Brothers. What is this?" she asked as she touched the lapel of his jacket.

"Something a little less snooty than Brooks Brothers and Tommy Hilfiger. I think it's from JC Penney," he said with a smile.

"Obviously you didn't have any trouble getting reservations."

"It's amazing how well name dropping works in this town," she said with a smile.

"Yeah. Every skid has to be greased around here, huh? Come on. Our table's ready," he said as he led her inside.

Jordyn had been in so many high-end restaurants they no longer impressed her. Sawyer had also 'gotten over it' in record time and let her know it.

"I'll take the Country Kitchen and chicken fried steak over this any day," he said as he helped her get seated.

"I'm more of an Outback or Carrabbas kind of girl, but I agree with you," she told him as they ordered drinks.

"May I?" Sawyer asked when they were asked what they'd like to drink.

"Of course," she told him.

"Plain old draft beer for me and..." He looked over at Jordyn, smiled then told the server, "White wine for the beautiful lady."

She thanked him and Sawyer asked Jordyn, "Did I do okay?"

"Chardonnay is my favorite wine so, yes...nicely done," she told him.

"I'd prefer to sit and talk about you, Jordyn, but something tells me there are things we have to discuss, so if you'd like to get them out of the way first, just let me know."

"Ventura was in very early today and she was not happy," Jordyn began.

"Is that old battle axe ever happy?" Sawyer quipped.

"Sawyer! Be serious. She knows there's another woman involved and Courtney thinks it's me. Ventura dismissed that as lunacy because of my...advanced age...but she really is furious."

"The only reason I care is because you care, Jordyn. Otherwise, I don't give a rip about Ventura or how she feels or whether she's happy or sad. Sorry, but I am so over that family."

"But I like my...I mean...I need my job," she told him.

"Respectfully, you don't actually need that job, Jordyn. It's just your drug of choice. It's your...fix. And look at all the garbage you have to put up with to get high. I don't see how it can be worth it."

Jordyn felt angry for a moment then realized it was because he'd once again called it exactly right. She wanted to be indignant about him putting down her job couldn't because she knew he was spot on.

"Do you read minds or something?" she said without smiling.

"I beg your pardon?" he said completely lost.

"How is it you know all the things I feel about work to include the negatives? Even more so, how is it you understand the push and pull between wanting a job I can feel proud of and...wanting a family?"

"It was more an educated guess than actually knowing anything for sure," he confessed. "And perhaps some projection and wishful thinking on my part."

Jordyn momentarily lost focus again as Sawyer's words had 'that effect' on her again.

"Wishful thinking?" she asked.

"Yes, wishful thinking," he told her sincerely.

"Jordyn? I know I'm relatively young, but I also know I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to settle down and raise a family. I can't believe I'm saying that because even six months ago my only dream was to get a big contract and make a bunch of money. But that's all changed now."

The way he looked at her said the things he hadn't spoken out loud. She understood she was somehow a part of that even though they barely knew each other. She wanted to ask him how she could smooth things over with Ventura, but he kept right on talking.

"At first it was just a general dissatisfaction with all the phoniness. And then the dissatisfaction turned into contempt. I'm now at the point where contempt is turning into hatred and quite honestly, that scares me."

"Aren't you under contract?" she asked knowing he was.

"It's only 12 months total, and I'm well over half done. When the contract is up, I am outta here," he told her truthfully.

"Off to the farm in North Carolina?"

"Maybe," he said.

"Maybe? I thought that was a done deal. No?"

"I guess it depends," he said still not smiling.

She loved his smile, but when he was being serious he was even more handsome and believable. Not that she didn't believe him when he was smiling, she could just feel the integrity in his words as he spoke from his heart.

"Dare I ask...on what?" she asked anyway.

"Well," he began still not smiling. He was deadly serious when he told her, "On how long it's gonna take to get you to fall in love with me."

"Beer for the gentleman; white wine for the lady," their server said saving Jordyn from having to respond.

After a quick touching of glasses, Jordyn took a sip then said, "Sawyer. I need to know how to approach Ventura with this tomorrow. I can't very well walk in and tell her...I don't know...that you...that you have a thing for me. Is that what this is, Sawyer? A thing? A temporary attraction to the older woman you know you can't have because she's afraid of getting married which makes her safe?"

He moved his chair closer to hers then said, "Jordyn. I can't tell you what this is yet because I don't really know. But I can tell you I've met more beautiful women since I got here than I can remember, and I've never been so...intrigued by...or...attracted to...any of them. I have more questions than answers, but I do know this. I want to get to know you more than I've wanted to with anyone. Hell, the truth is I've never wanted to get acquainted with a woman. I don't really even want them to say anything most of the time."

"Ah! How romantic. Just be quiet while I screw your brains out, right?" she said trying to be angry with him for being a typical male even though very little about him was typical.

"Jordyn, the way nature put my face together is no more my doing than anyone else's. It's not something I planned. Yes, I'm responsible for what I do, but not for the way I look. Can you please stop beating me up for it? Please?"

Jordyn knew he was right. Looks were all 'luck of the draw' as far as the recipient was concerned.

"I apologize," she said sincerely. "That was rude. I don't personally know any man who turns down the opportunity to um...hook up. I suppose most men just don't have as much opportunity as you do. Anyway, I said something I wish I hadn't. So...I'm sorry."

"And that kind of...opportunity...is another thing that's left me feeling cold and alone. Empty, mindless sex really is empty. This whole crazy package is just one big empty illusion. It damn sure isn't reality."

Jordyn thought back to growing up in various places where everyone they lived around said 'hello' and took a personal interest in each other. There was genuine warmth and caring and the concern wasn't forced. It was all so very...real.

"Did your family live on base when you were growing up?" she asked after thinking those thoughts.

"Twice. We lived off base the rest of the time. Why?" he asked.

"I was just thinking how living on base was the closest I've even been to a real sense of community where people genuinely cared about each other," she replied.

"Exactly! But I lived in a small town after my dad retired, and it was the same there, too. I miss that. Don't you?" he asked excitedly. "Don't you ever think about having neighbors who know you by name and who'll do anything to help you out and vice versa? Wouldn't you like to live somewhere you don't have to lock your doors at night knowing you're safe?"

"I'm not sure I could ever not lock my doors at night, but yes, I know exactly what you're talking about," she told him. "And to answer you question, yes, I do miss it."

Sawyer still sounded genuinely excited as he said, "I don't have to live on a farm. I wouldn't mind that at all, but I...I just want out of the rat race, you know? I want a slower pace of life where people are friendly and where our children...sorry, more wishful thinking on my part."

He smiled then continued, "A place where my future kids can grow up with friends in a place where they don't have to worry about getting shot or mugged—or killed by some big earthquake because they live along the San Andreas fault line."

Jordyn laughed but didn't speak as he sat there and stared into her eyes in that way that 'did it' to her again before reaching for her hand and telling her, "And something tells me you want that, too, Jordyn. It may be buried deep inside you, but I can't imagine you really wanting to live like this or trying to raise a family in Los Angeles."

Sawyer gently squeezed her hand and asked, "Do you? Is this what you really want? All work and no...love?"

When he reached out and touched her face, Jordyn looked at him and when she did it was as though her whole life changed in a moment. She felt her eyes filling with tears and heard herself say very quietly, "No. No, this...this isn't all I want, Sawyer."

A tear fell and she tried to smile in spite of it as she said, "But you are right—in so many ways. I am an addict. I'm addicted to work and juggling schedules and the fast pace of life here."

Her face seemed almost desperate as she said, "Can you please help me? Can you help me break my addiction?"

Sawyer smiled and told her, "Yes, I can. And I will," before kissing her softly. "But it's going to take time, you know? As they say, 'Rome wasn't built in a day'. It took time to get hooked on the adrenaline rush of putting out fires all day long. It's gonna take time to learn how to relax and enjoy the simple life again."

"So when might we be able to get started on my treatment, Doctor Godwin?" Jordyn asked just above a whisper.

"I do know how to slow things down so if you'd like we could begin as soon as tonight," he told her.

"I suppose sooner is better than later. I mean, I won't start get un-addicted unless I enter therapy, huh?"

"Nope. No chance of that. You may even be too late, but I'm hopeful we can still turn this ship around."

"Did you just call me a battleship?" she said sweetly.

"No. Well, not...exactly," he teased. "I believe I've called you smart, funny, and beautiful, though."

"Well... Um...would you possibly like to come home with me tonight?" she asked her heart pounding harder than it had in longer than she could remember.