What It Takes Ch. 03

"Well I guess I could use the company," I said.

"That's what I figured," Dr. Alton responded, but she was already walking out of the door.

* * * * *

Within half an hour of Dr. Alton's exit from the mess hall, I was in my bed with the covers pulled up over my head, sleeping fitfully. It had still relatively early, 2100 ship's time. But I felt completely exhausted. I hadn't even bothered to clear the coffee cups from the tables in the mess room. I just left. I hadn't said a word to Rex, but as I left the room he awoke and followed me. He was sleeping by the door in my room now, as though he'd slept there every night of his life.

I would have given anything to match his effortless peace of mind. I'd expected to fall asleep the instant that my head had hit my pillow, my eyes burned and my muscles ached with fatigue. And as soon as the overhead lights had gone off, I sort of did. But as soon as I drifted into sleep, the trouble began.

I don't even know if I realized I was dreaming. It didn't feel like a dream. Even now, in memory, it doesn't seem that it was a dream. It was like all of the sudden, the lights had gone out and when they came back on...I was back on the moon. Not just back on the moon. Back in thee shaded area behind the personal supply depot. It wasn't a memory. I was there again.

And so was the spider. No... Not just the spider. The spider had been chased off by Rex. I could remember that happened. But it had come back. It had gone out into the woods and it had found it's...family. And they were all there now. I saw them, hundreds of them, climbing up over the fence. Their hideous eyes blinking randomly, but all staring directly at me. I could hear the sounds of their terrible joints moving and I could smell their awful scent on the breeze.

I looked down and saw that I was still naked. I could feel the exhausted muscles in my legs give way as I fell onto my knees in the dirt. I looked around desperately for someone, the captain or the doctor, to come to my aid. But no one was there. And the aliens streamed over the fence dropping down on the dirt all around me. I felt their stiff legs reach out, pinning my arms and my legs and my shoulders and my hips to the dirt, pressing so hard that it felt like the skin was going to tear. I heard myself screaming in pain. And terror.

I mean the terror was totally back. It wasn't a memory of the fear that I'd felt earlier in the day. It was there again in all its omnipresent power. I could feel my heart thrumming, I could my skin prickling as the sweat stood out on it. I was shivering all over and my body no longer took direction from my brain. I was paralyzed with fear.

But my eyes remained open. And as I watched, I saw the original spider, the one that Rex had attacked, making its way over the fence. It was dripping blood from its legs and several of its eyes were poked out. But the eyes that remained were all wide open. No longer blinking. And they were all staring at me. The creature limped towards me. I could feel the heat from the creature's body as it moved closer and closer. Somehow, even though the creature had no face, I could tell that it was staring at me with blind rage. It blamed me for its wounding. And it was coming back now for punishment. Its family was holding me down. It wasn't just going to kill me and eat me. It was going to torture me to death. The creature lowered its body down, closer and closer towards me. Soon, I couldn't see anything, it had blotted out the light all around me. The whole world went black.

I hard myself screaming and felt my body flailing wildly in the dark. For half a moment, I wondered how I was able to move with the other spiders holding me down. In fact, I could feel one of the creature's pressing against me, placings its weight down on my left arm and shoulder. But the rest of my body was moving now, I wondered where the other spiders had gone.

But then I heard it. A soft, cooing sound. A sound not unlike a kitten. I blinked twice and my eyes became slightly attuned to the darkness around me. I realized I was looking at my room. On the ship. I wasn't surrounded by spiders. I was no longer naked. It had been some sort of nightmare. Or something worse. I don't know. I realized that I had never really come to terms with what had happened to me. I had simply...ignored it as soon as the danger was no longer present. That terror had come for me in my sleep. But it wasn't really there.

Or was it?

Even as I had that thought, I realized that the heavy weight on my left arm was still present. And I could...smell something too. Something fishy but hot. I looked to my side and realized that Rex had crawled up onto my bed with me. For half a moment, I felt the panic that had gripped me in my...dream (or whatever it was) hit me full force again. My breath caught in my throat like I'd been kicked in the stomach. I thought for a moment about the first time I'd seen Rex, the way his mouth had stretched over my head. He'd climbed into bed to finish me off!

But as the fear strangled me, I heard Rex let out another low cooing noise, soft and rhythmic. I realized he wasn't moving towards me. He was just...laying there next to me. I could feel his large, warm body rising and falling next to me. In fact, I could feel his heart beating gently through his oily scales. He snuggled in a little farther, pushing me towards the wall, but not sharply. He made another sound, somewhat like snoring.

In a wave, the relief washed over me. Once again, I'd misread Rex's intentions. As before, Rex wasn't trying to attack me. I realized instantly what had happened. Rex had been awakened by my nightmare. He'd heard me whimpering and seen me flailing in my bed. Whether he knew what I was dreaming about or not, he had recognized my distress. Just as he had before, he jumped into action to protect me. He'd climbed into my bed, shielding me from everything around me, covering me with his warmth.

I can't describe to you how grateful I felt in that moment. Words fail me now as I try to explain how meaningful that moment was for me, in my life. There I was on this tiny ship, the entire disinterested or even hostile universe spinning around me. And someone how this alien...this creature that I'd found so repulsive at first sight, had noticed my fear. He'd felt my need for protection. And, without me even needing to say a word, he had come to me. He'd protected me with his own body. He gave me his warmth.

I don't know how long I cried, leaning against Rex. Tears of relief. Tears of joy. All I know is that I only stopped when I fell asleep. And while Rex lay next to me, I slept deeply.

* * * * *

The next few months finally fulfilled the expectations for space that I'd had for my entire life. For the first time on the trip, it felt like I was in the midst of an adventure. Every morning I woke up with Rex in the bed beside me (after that first night, he'd just climbed in. I'd never even considered stopping him) and he didn't leave me for the rest of the day. He went to the mess hall with me for breakfast (Dr. Alton had provided me with a list of things that he could eat after I informed her that I would just keep him for the rest of my shift out of cryosleep), he followed me while I made my rounds and did diagnostic checks on the ship. He watched me as I prepared lunch and he sat underneath of my feet while I watched videos. Wherever I was, Rex was there.

But I don't want to give the impression that he was simply following me around. It was so much more than that. Rex was my companion. My best friend. The connection had been instantaneous. It is hard to explain, but it felt like we were already connected in some way. It just felt so natural. I felt like I'd known Rex my entire life. And with that familiarity came comfort. I never felt any discomfort with him, despite his enormous size and fearsome appearance. Hell, I'd even gotten used to his overpowering smell. Sort of.

More importantly, I talked to him constantly, from the minute we woke up until we turned off the lights. He was extremely smart, after only a few days he seemed to understand what I was saying. He could follow simple directions. He even "spoke" back to me. I began to recognize certain coos and grunts to mean certain things (when he was hungry, when he needed to relieve himself, etc.). Beyond that, he was very good, as he had already demonstrated, at picking up subtler cues. When I was anxious or nervous, he seemed to sense it. He would rub his head against my waist or coo soothingly until I was no longer upset. He seemed to know what I was feeling, even before I felt it.

It seemed everything, both practically and emotionally, was easier while Rex was around. Not the least of which were my work tasks. Whenever I had to work, Rex would assist in any way he could. Sometimes that meant something as simple as giving me a boost by letting me stand on his back when I needed to reach something high. Other times it meant rushing back to the supply closet and grabbing something when I forgot it. But usually it was a lot simpler than that. Rex didn't have to really do anything to help. He simply...made work fun. Maybe we'd race from one task to another, laughing like children as we moved. Or maybe I'd ride on his back while we walked slowly through the narrow corridors of the space ship.

Whatever it was, Rex seemed to have worked a miracle. He never drew my focus away from the task at hand, he never kept me from completing my work tasks. But by making my chores into a game, or even just providing a promise that I would be able to have fun as soon as I was finished working...the anxiety dissipated. I was no longer terrified about whether or not I was doing my job 100% perfectly right. I was just making sure that I did it. And somehow, by backing off slightly...I'd gotten better. I made fewer mistakes. By loosening my grip, by having fun, by feeling connected to...someone else, I was able to simply perform automatically. I was no longer running myself ragged and the results were better anyway. It was easy. And it was all thanks to Rex.

Once Rex and I got into sync, it was like I didn't need anyone else. I didn't miss anyone anymore. Hell, Dr. Alton was there on the ship, awake now, every day. But I only went to see her when I had a question about Rex that I needed answered. I didn't feel starved for human contact.

And Rex was certainly not human. I mean he was, in a lot of ways, more like a pet than an equal companion. But in some ways, he was better. He poured out support and understanding from every fiber of his being. I could see it in his eyes. Rex adored me from the start, for reasons that I really didn't understand. But then, after a very short period of time, I adored him right back. We loved each other, there is no other word to describe the feelings we shared.

I never really considered that an issue. I mean I'd loved lots of non-humans platonically over the years. As the months past, Rex and I grew to know each other better and that love grew deeper and broader all the time. I thought that it was a totally natural, and reasonable, attachment to make. Anyone else, I told myself, would have reacted the same way to the uninhibited affection that Rex gave to me. We were isolated but had formed a kind of bond that kept both of us happy. What could possibly be wrong with that?

I never realized how...dangerous my relationship was, until the day it happened. I remember that day vividly. There were only two weeks left on my 6-month shift. I'd woken, like I always did, when my alarm scared Rex and he pressed me hard against the bulkhead in my bunk.

"Aw Jeez, buddy!" I said, "settle down!" but I was already laughing and petting his oily skin. He let out a low coo and then bounded off the bed. He was always starving when he woke up and he ran to the door of my bunk and looked at me expectantly.

"Ready for the mess room?" I asked, as I sat up slowly in my bed. Rex made a loud noise and then began to shake excitedly all over. His tongue slipped out of his mouth and rolled across his teeth-platlets. I smiled as I climbed off the bed and slipped my pajamas off and put my jumpsuit on, I didn't bother with underwear (more laundry). I walked over to the door and opened it. Rex was out like a shot, bounding towards the mess room.

"You can't cook you have to wait for me!" I said good-naturedly and Rex pulled up on the hallway. He looked at me expectantly, nervously. He looked down in the direction of the mess room and then ran back towards me, his feet smacking heavily on the floor as he moved towards me. He swung around behind me and pressed his forehead against my ass, pushing me rapidly towards his breakfast. I laughed as I tried to fight him, and he playfully forced me on to make his breakfast.

When he eventually forced me the whole way there, Rex and I burst into the mess hall laughing. Well, I was laughing. He was making a low chortling sound that I had long-since realized was his equivalent of a laugh. But as soon as I moved into the room, my laughter ceased and I felt my cheeks get red. I saw that Dr. Alton was sitting at one of tables, finishing up her breakfast.

"Good morning," she said, arching her eyebrow. She sounded playful, not at all judgmental, but I still felt strange have her see me playing like a small child with Rex. I was not used to other people anymore.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," I said sheepishly, "You're usually already done with breakfast before we get here." As I spoke, Rex kept chortling and pushing me. I put my hand on his head and he looked over towards Dr. Alton. Realizing the change in my attitude, he immediately became calmer. He walked over towards the table where he usually ate at and hunkered down on the floor.

"No need to be sorry. I started late. I was up late doing some...research with the Spatium Vermis," she explained.

"Oh the..." I said. I was a little put off by the way she grinned when she said that...

"The space slug," she said, and winked at me slightly. My mind instantly raced back to the day all those months earlier when I'd walked in on the doctor with the slug... I suddenly realized what she meant by research. I felt my cheeks get hotter, redder.

"But I am finished with breakfast now, so I will get out of your hair," the doctor said, maybe sensing my discomfort. I was glad she was leaving, but felt the need to be polite.

"I am not chasing you out, take your time," I said.

"You're not chasing me," Dr. Alton said, smiling as she stood from the table, "I have additional research I want to get in today. You know?" she said and I swear she licked her lips slightly. I nodded and looked away, still reliving the memory of the doctor and the monster in my mind. She slowly walked out of the mess hall.

"See you later Luna. And Rex," she said as she walked through the door, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." And the door closed behind her.

As soon as she was gone, I took my first real breath in what felt like forever. I felt the tension go out of my shoulders. I don't know what it was...but something about her being there and the things she was hinting at made me feel strange. But I didn't have time to dwell on it. As soon as Dr. Alton was out of the room, Rex was back to his exuberant, morning-self. He was cooing loudly and bouncing slightly on the floor.

"Okay, okay," I laughed, "breakfast time!" Rex chortled loudly and I moved towards the kitchen. Rex's menu was pretty easy, it consisted entirely of raw meat. I'd thawed out a raw roast the previous night in the sink and I brought it out, dripping blood, and threw it on the floor of the mess hall. I didn't worry about the mess. Rex would get it all. He instantly pounced on the roast, making excited noises and whipping his tail wildly. I smiled at him but chose not to watch. It was a little too intense for me. I turned back into the kitchen. I quickly worked on my own breakfast. I quickly fried up a few strips of bacon, then an egg in the fat, while I toasted some bread. Just a few minutes later, I was back in the mess hall.

Rex was already done eating. He was sitting near the door, his tongue cleaning the last of the blood off of his platlet teeth. I shook my head. "You're going to get indigestion, eating like that," I warned him. He turned and looked at me disinterestedly. I sat down at the table and smelled my breakfast. My stomach groaned. As I was about to dig in, I felt something. Rex had moved behind me. He was rubbing his head against my hip. I turned and looked at him, smiling. His eyes were looking directly at me. As soon as I looked at them, he turned his head towards the kitchen. Then looked back at me. He repeated the motion several times. I knitted my brow.

"You trying to tell me something Rex?" I said. Once again, we picked up on one another. He looked at me sharply, then turned his head, again, towards the kitchen. I looked at the door and rubbed my chin, "What about the kitchen?" He repeated the motion again. "Did I forget something in the kitchen?" Rex cooed loudly. I remembered several months earlier when I'd left the bacon grease smoking on the stove. I sniffed the air. Was something burning?

"Thanks buddy," I said and rose off of my seat. I walked quickly over to the kitchen and walked inside. I looked at the stove. It was clear. I could see the pan soaking in the sink. I'd remembered moving it now. Nothing else looked out of place. I crossed my arms in front of my breasts and looked around further. I guessed Rex had made some sort of mistake. I turned around and headed back into the mess hall.

"You're slipping old man," I said, rubbing his scaly head as I sat back down at my seat. I turned towards my breakfast. Or...Where my breakfast was supposed to be. My plate was there. Totally clean. I turned instantly and looked at Rex. His tongue moved across his platlet teeth, licking off a yellow spot of yolk.

"You rat!" I said, laughing. He had been planning that for days! He made his chortling sound again and turned to move away from the table. I dove off of my seat after him, landing on his back. "Don' you dare run away you snake!" I yelled. Rex was chortling louder now as I threw him of balance. Soon we were tumbling around wildly on the floor. We knocked over chairs and tables, the room rang with the clatter and with our laughter. Rex tossed me side to side, but he was always careful, never letting me fall and never rolling over on top of me. I pulled at his tail and he lightly nibbled on my arm. We knew what we were doing. It was just...fun.

Eventually, we rolled to a stop next to the kitchen door, both of us breathing deeply. Rex was chortling loudly and laying on his back. His short legs were down by his side and his rounded belly domed up towards the ceiling. His tail was swishing on the floor, slowly and his head was tilted back. I was sitting on the floor next to him, breathing too hard to laugh, but feeling it all over. My butt was on the floor with my feet facing down towards his tail and I was about even with Rex's back hips. I had my arm draped over Rex's belly and I was leaning hard against him. My eyes were closed as I struggled to get my breath. Needing support, I leaned my head against his warm side. I could feel his soothing heartbeat. As I slowly got my breath my eyes opened. And I realized that I was looking right at it.

Rex's penis.

I'd seen it before. Dr. Alton had been right, of course, you could see that Rex was a boy anytime he rolled over. Directly between his rear legs was...a bulge of flesh. There were two very large balls hanging down between him legs (or, right now, leaning against his body). They were about the size of tennis balls and covered in his darkest green skin. Unlike other areas of Rex's body, where the skin always seemed taut, the skin encasing his balls was loose and soft. Like a man's scrotum. In addition to Rex's large balls, he had a somewhat short, wide shaft that was always visible. It was the same dark color as his scrotum. It was likely only about five inches long. But, I had learned over the months, that this was not Rex's entire penis.