Why I Hated The Guy From The FBI Ch. 09

"I took out my old percolator as soon as you left, and made myself coffee. I thought this would be good practice for you never to touch anything in my kitchen again."

"Rose, you are evil. Now I know where, Antonia gets it from."

"Would you like some coffee, or would you like to lose another argument?"

"Coffee please, I have lost enough arguments for this year."

32. Doughnuts and Decisions

Charlie called Ann, and told her when he would be arriving in San Luis Obisbo. She was absolutely thrilled, and told him she would meet him at the airport. He told her not to bother, because he was going to need his own car, and would pick up a rental at the airport. He told her that he would meet her at the college and follow her to their new home.

During the week he was gone she had placed the house on the market, and moved most of her clothing to Celeste's beach house. She had also placed feelers out to get, Charlie a new job. With James Hearst's help, she had gotten a complete file on Charlie, from his education through his adventures with the FBI. She had prepared a preliminary resume' for his potential employers, and with her contacts in the area, she knew that many would seek to obtain his services, in short order.

When Charlie landed, his first trip was not to the college. He rented a midsize car and then went to the local doughnut shop, where he bought six dozen donuts. He also asked the clerk for a small bag of the white powdered sugar. As he approached the college, he opened the bag, and dusted the front of his suit liberally, with the white powder. He also spread some on the front seat and on the dashboard. He took five of the six dozen donuts into the office, where he was to meet Ann, and waited. The girls at the desk were hysterical. They knew that she was a health freak. They also knew that when she saw him, and the way he looked, she would attempt to kill him where he stood. They told him this, and he said that he was a martial arts expert and could handle anything that came at him. They warned him that she was also an expert in martial arts, so beware what you wish for, because you may just get it.

When Ann rushed into the building and saw him. He was standing sideways. She yelled, "Charlie!" He turned towards her and held his arms out to her. She was running towards him, until she saw the front of his suit, then she stopped short. "Is that what I think it is, Charlie?"

He grabbed the five boxes of donuts and said, "It was a long trip from New York to Los Angeles. I needed something to keep my strength up."

"Prepare to defend yourself. You are going to work every ounce of those doughnuts off you right here in this corridor. I will not marry a fat man, regardless of how well he is hung."

The females in the office began to laugh again.

Ann yelled at them to be quiet, because there was not going to be enough of him left to enjoy. She attacked him with her full fury, only to wind up face down, on the floor, with Charlie sitting on her back.

"Ann, you know better than to let your emotions rule your intellect. Now, if you would like some real training in the martial arts, I would be glad to teach you. I would also be glad to fuck you, every time you lose. If we have four training sessions a day, I will fuck you four times a day. If we train six times a day, I will fuck you six times a day, and so on. I will fuck you until you can't walk. Is that agreeable to you?"

"Get off me, you son of a bitch. You and your doughnuts are too heavy for me. I will poison every doughnut I see."

"Ladies, I think you should distribute the doughnuts before Ann poisons them. Apparently she has no sense of humor, and therefore cannot take a joke. Would you please show her that I have not eaten any of the donuts that are in those boxes?"

While still seated on her back, the ladies showed Ann five complete boxes of donuts.

Ann asked Charlie why he had done that to her.

"Ann, if you cannot take a practical joke, we will not have any fun being together at all. I love my donuts. I also love working out. I work out like a demon. I love to run. I lift weights and I do a great deal of core exercises. I have a regimen all my own. All my stats are right where they belong. I will not give up my donuts, because you want me to, but when a doctor tells me that I have to, I will. I have not been in any better shape than I am now, ever. I want to stay that way with you. Please be happy with me the way I am, and do not try to change me into someone that you want me to be. We will get along better that way."

"Get off me, Charlie."

"I am sorry about that. I was so comfortable. I forgot where I was."

Ann stood up and said, "You are a son of a bitch Charlie. I have never met a man that could be as logical as you are. First, you beat Celeste at her own game. Now you have beaten me. I love you Charlie Gomes. Let's go home and fuck. You've already beaten me twice today, so you have to fuck me twice."

Charlie turned to the ladies behind a desk, who were applauding and said, "Ladies, enjoy your doughnuts, I have another hole to fill."

Ann blushed and smacked him on the arm. "Charlie you are incorrigible."

"That is why the FBI hired me."

On Monday morning, Celeste boarded her slightly used Gulfstream jet, and it took off shortly afterward for Milan. If there was a Concorde still flying, she would have taken it. If she could have charted a supersonic military aircraft, she would have done it. She could not account for her actions, even though Antonia had told her flat out what they were. She was told that she was in love with Philip. Father Chang had told her that it was totally up to her how she proceeded from this point. She could do nothing at all. She could live with him and leave whenever the feeling struck her. She could have children with him, without getting married. She could get married and not have children, because she did not want to get tied down by them. Finally, she could give herself totally and completely to marriage and all that it meant. The choice as he said was totally and completely hers. She kept thinking, "If it is my decision, why do I feel that everyone else is trying to making it for me. Why am I so nervous about seeing Philip again? Is it just because I made him so ill, and I want to apologize to him? Or is it like Ann and Charlie said, "I am so in love, I cannot see the forest through the trees. I guess I will know when I look in Philip's eyes again. If I feel that same tingle in my heart that I did last time, I will stay and see what happens between us. I am not getting married for at least two years. I do not care what anyone says. I can buy more of anything then he can, so bribery will not work on me. Two years, not one day less. If he threatens me, I will leave him."

Her steward noticed her discomfort and slipped something extra into her favorite drink. Within moments, she calmed down and then fell into a very deep, relaxing sleep. He released the chairs mechanism and it unfolded into a comfortable bed. He fastened the dual seatbelt, and covered her with her cashmere blanket. Then he walked up front and sat in the jump seat between the two pilots and told them what he had done. They both laughed and said, "With the aircraft at 55,000 feet and on autopilot, now the three of us have nothing to do." They took out there word games, crossword puzzles, and iPads and settled in for the seven hour transoceanic trip.

As they were crossing the Alps, and beginning their dissent, the air became bumpy. They knew she was awake when they heard, "Marlon, you are fired. You did it to me again, and I will not allow that to happen."

"Madam, is this the 13th or 14th time you have fired me?"

"I do not remember. However, this is the last time I am going to do it. You are fired."

"Yes, madam, should I get out now or should I wait until we land?"

"Now would be just fine Marlon."

"Madam, if you would be so kind as to open the door for me, I will step out."

"If you were not 70 years old, I would break your neck Marlon."

"Madam, I am not 70 years old, I am 76 years old. So feel free to ring my neck, wrinkles and all."

"Marlon, why don't you retire? You are a millionaire in your own right, my father and I have seen to that. You could go anywhere and do anything you want. Instead, you hang around me and take all the abuse I give you."

"Madam, your father was abusive to everyone around him, but me. I put him in his place, and he knew better than to argue with me, because I knew all his secrets. One word from me, and he would have been in jail for the rest of his life. He knew he could not kill me because I told him that I had lawyers and safety deposit boxes all around the country and in the event of my death or disappearance he would be exposed for the type of person he was. You on the other hand, are a pussycat. You on your mother's child, and I loved your mother deeply. We had an affair that lasted many years and I promised her that I would care for you, for as long as I lived. So I will be here, by your side, until my heart stops ticking. Or, until you open that door."

Celeste looked at him through a new set of eyes. She asked, "Why didn't you tell me this before? Why did you keep this a secret from me?"

"You are about to set upon a new journey in your life. You are in love for the first time in your life. It shows all over your face and in all of your mannerisms. You are scared to death of it. Child, you should not be. You are not your father; you are your mother's child. As hard as you try to be on the outside, when you open your heart to someone you will find your mother looking out for you. She will show you the way to happiness, as surely as she showed me."

"Did my father ever find out about you two?"

"Many years after your mother had passed away, and when your father was gravely ill, he asked me about Emma and me. I lied to him and told him that we had never been intimate and he seemed to believe me. I think he rested easier with that thought on his conscience, although I cannot understand why considering what he did to all the women who came after her. I felt bad for each one of them, and I made sure each one of them was amply taken care of after their divorces were finalized. They deserved more than what he gave them, and they got that, plus much more, anonymously."

"You are a good man Marlon. I have one more question for you and I want an honest answer. Are you my real father?"

"It would be my greatest pleasure to say yes to that question, but the answer truthfully is no. When you were conceived, your father and mother were truly in love. His philandering ways had already started, but your mother was his one true love."

"If I thought you were lying to me Marlon, I would punch you in the nose and take a blood sample. However, I can see in your eyes that you are telling me the truth. Thank you for being honest with me. You still haven't answered me as to why you hang around me, instead of retiring?"

"Madam, you go to such boring places: Rio de Janeiro for the winter; The Seychelles for the spring; The South of France for a few weeks in the summer. The Greek Isles for a quick getaway. Then, middle of the Amazon to meet a few friends, every now and again. When you are truly bored, we go home and visit the mansion. What a terrible life I lead."

"Marlon, I'm getting ready to fire you again."

"Will this be number 15 Madam?"

Prepare for landing, landing in five minutes.

"Shall I raise your seat Madam, or do you think you can do it by yourself?"

"If I can figure out where the blanket ends and where the seatbelts are, I can get out of this bed and straighten the chair. However, the way you buckled me in, it feels like I am in a straightjacket."

"When you were a baby, you always tried to climb out of your crib. It was necessary to strap you in. I considered it a necessary evil."

"Marlon, get me out of here right now."

"As you wish, Madam."

"You have known me for all 29 years of my life. When are you going to start calling me Celeste?"

"I will start calling you by your given name, when you reach the age of 60."

"I will not waste my breath on you Marlon. Firing you is a waste of time."

"Thank you, Madam; I will consider it a reprieve."

The aircraft taxied into the hangar, stopped, the door opened and the stairs rolled out automatically. Celeste walked down and was attacked by Antonia immediately.

"You have got to come and see my dress. It is absolutely gorgeous. My mother's aunts and cousins made it specifically for me. It is not even finished yet and it is the best thing ever made."

"Hi, Antonia, how are you? I am glad to see you also.

"Okay, hello Celeste, you look wonderful, you are as gorgeous as ever, your airplane looks wonderful. Now let's go see my dress."

"Wait one minute; I have to go see Philip. I want to see him. I have to make sure that he gets well. I don't want him to suffer anymore then, he has already."

"Screw Philip, I had Frank beat the shit out of him, and he is fine now. We could not wait for you to get back here and let him lie around in his own self-pity. So, when he would not listen to common sense, or in other words, me, I turned Frank loose on him. After a short and painful lesson, Philip decided that it was better for his health to get his act in gear."

"So what you are telling me is that you lied to me on the telephone."

"I would never lie to you. I may exaggerate a little bit, here and there, but I would never knowingly lie."

"When was the last time you went to confession, little girl?"

"I was outside the church, when I called you."

"I should kick the shit out of you, and feed you to the engines of the airplane. You had me so worried about Philip, that I ordered a new airplane just for him."

"You have known me longer than Philip, why didn't you buy me one?"

"I love you Antonia, but I am not in love with you."

"Celeste, you are as dumb as a post."

"Why, what did I do wrong now?"

"All I had to do was bait you a little bit to get you to admit that you are in love with Philip."

"Shit, that makes five people that have done that to me recently, and I trust them all. You, not so much, but I trust the rest of them completely."

"Why don't you trust me Celeste? I am your best friend, and you are my only friend. I sent Frank's friend, Charlie, halfway around the world to look for you. What other friend, do you have, who would do that for you?"

"Okay, Antonia, I trust you too, almost. Do you know about Charlie and Ann?"

"Who is Ann? No, do not tell me. Let's get into the car, and you can tell me on the way to see my gown."

"When am I going to see Philip, Antonia?"

"How the heck am I supposed to know? He does not even know you are back yet."

"Antonia, I have changed my mind about you. I do not trust you at all."

"I do not care at this moment. I want you to see my gown. If you are going to be my maid of honor, you have to like it. You are going to like it, aren't you?"

Celeste looked evilly into Antonia's eyes and said, "I will consider it."

"Bitch!"

"Harlot!"

"I love you Celeste, I have missed you dreadfully. I have so much to tell you."

"I love you too baby. I had a rough time for a while, but I think I am back to normal now. I will know exactly how I feel when I look in Philip's eyes. If I see what I saw the first time we met, everything will be fine."

"Well, in that case, wear something sexy for dinner tonight. It will be just the four of us, at our favorite restaurant."

"Antonia, you are such a liar. You said he doesn't even know I am back, and then you tell me we are having dinner together tonight."

"He does not know you are back. He thinks it is just the three of us going out to dinner. I want to see him fall all over himself, when he sees you. Did you happen to bring that dress you wore the evening we went out together?"

"No, but I know where I can get one that will knock his socks off."

"Remember, dinner is at eight. No fooling around, at the store."

"I never fool around in a store. I just buy what I like."

"That is the problem, you like everything."

They drove up to her great-aunts' store and Antonia rushed in, pulling Celeste behind her. After a quick set of introductions, Antonia rushed into the back to try on her nearly completed gown. Moments later, she came out and stood on the pedestal, and even Celeste gasped.

"Antonia, it is a masterpiece. You have a family of artists. Not even the best Design Houses in Europe could have done anything like this for you. May I ask who designed it?"

Antonia pointed to her great aunt, who beamed with pride.

Celeste said to her, "Show this gown to no one. I will have people come here and photograph it on Antonia, when it is completed. We will have it registered and copyrighted. Anyone who uses this design will have to pay you a royalty forever; that is how wonderful this gown is. You will see it in every fashion magazine around the world. They will not use Antonia, for the photo shoot, because she is too ugly."

"Bitch!"

Her great-aunt, aunts and cousins laughed at both of them. With a just a month left until the wedding, they still had much to do to finish the gown, and they wanted Antonia out of it, before she started to perspire.

While Antonia was in the back changing, Celeste asked, "Would you make a gown for me, when the time comes?"

Antonia yelled, "I heard that!"

"Antonia, I could be talking, 3 feet away from you, and you would not hear a thing. I whisper something to your aunt, and you heard it. How is that possible?"

"It was very easy Celeste. Once you saw my gown, and I saw your expression, I knew you were going to ask that question. I listened as hard as I could and I was right."

Celeste turned to Antonia's aunts and asked them if they would on the day of the wedding, as they were dressing Antonia in this marvelous gown, put some 'Itching Powder' into her panties, so she would embarrass herself during the entire wedding ceremony.

Antonia came out of the back room and said, "I would not embarrass myself, I would probably keep cumming and cumming, until I fainted dead away, from the pleasure of it all."

Celeste shook her head in disbelief. She turned to those assembled around Antonia and said to them, "You know, she probably would, she is just that horny."

The laughing did not stop until they left the store; and headed into downtown Milan to get Celeste a dress for the evening. It was 6 PM, and the store was getting ready to close, for the evening. When the owner saw Celeste exit the car, she opened the front door and ran out to meet her favorite customer. The ladies who worked in the shop stopped what they were doing to see what all the yelling was about, and knew instantly that they were going to be leaving work a little later than they had expected. They lined up to greet Celeste as she walked in, and awaited instructions to see what they could do to help her. Instructions were simple and complicated at the same time: any designer, any style. Show any amount of skin, as long as it left her somewhat decent in public. She wanted to knock her future fiancé's socks off. Oh, and get some rag for this little person also.

Antonia tried to punch Celeste in her stomach for calling her short one too many times, but Celeste was expecting it, and moved out of the way just in time to smack her on her ass.

"Be nice, Antonia, or we will put you in a high chair at dinner."

"You are pressing your luck with your short jokes Celeste. One day I am going to cut you off at your knees so we can see eye to eye."

"For you and me to see eye to eye little one, you would have to cut me off at the hips."

"Celeste, if we had more time, I would invite you to the gym at the college. There we would find out exactly which one of us is bigger."