Winter of Discontent

She laughed. "I'm married to the job. I've had boyfriends, but never anything I was serious about. I dated the same guy all through high school. He wanted us to sleep together before we left for college. I wouldn't and he slept with my best friend to teach me a lesson. I learned it well. Men are cheating bastards who think with their pricks."

"Present company excepted, of course," I said.

"Yes, you surprise me, Macalastair. You've had plenty of opportunities to take advantage of situations and you haven't. I know when you got out of bed this morning you could have stroked me a few times and I'd have let you do anything you wanted. You didn't even look. Thanks for respecting me."

"I don't make people do things they don't want to do," I told her. "I don't even try to make them stop doing things they want to do that I think are bad for them."

"That's the difference between you and me. I want to make people do things they don't want to do if I think it will be good for them."

"I know, but I think it's morally indefensible," I said. "People have the right to go to hell in a hand basket. They own themselves. You either believe that or you believe in slavery. If they want to destroy themselves, they have that right. If they want to take drugs or prostitute themselves, who are you to tell them they can't? You don't own them."

"No, but they do harm to the rest of society. We wind up paying for their stupidity."

"Yes, but the question is, why do we pay for it? We only pay for it because we insist on meddling in things that are none of our affair."

"What if they take drugs and become invalids? Who takes care of them then?"

"No one, they chose that. Let them take care of themselves or die. I never interfere with the destiny people have chosen for themselves."

"You're very persuasive, Mack. Do you mind if I call you Mack?"

"No, I've been that most of my life. Would you mind if I called you Cade?"

"Yes, people do and I hate it. I won't call you Mack."

"No, it's okay, I was really asking, not trying to make a point. I actually love Caden."

"You love me?"

I laughed. "I was talking about your name." I looked down at her and she looked into my eyes and hers were filled with those violet tints. "My God, I do love you, Caden," I blurted out. I instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

"Say it again," she said.

"No, I don't want things to be awkward between us. I'm sorry."

"So, if you love me, that's awkward?"

I realized that it wasn't. She hadn't changed. I couldn't feel any change in her.

"Why doesn't that make you feel awkward?" I asked her.

"Well, I think I love you," she said.

She was telling the truth! I tried to kiss her but she wouldn't let me.

"No, Mack; don't do that. I can't right now. It might make me do something I'd regret. Just hold me and don't move for a while. I'm very horny."

Of course, that made me feel like a 16-year-old on my first date. I petted that long flaming hair.

"Caden Rush, I love you," I whispered in her ear.

She stood up. "I told you to just hold me," she said. "I'm going to sit in this chair now." She stumped over to the chair on her crutches.

"I'm in love with a crippled girl," I told her.

She laughed. "Now that's more like it. Tell me a joke."

"A lawyer, a doctor and a rabbi go into this bar," I started.

"Oh, my God," she laughed. "Do you really know a joke that starts like that?"

"No, but I do know one about a lawyer, a doctor and a rabbi." I said. 'A doctor told her patient that he would need a heart transplant. She said, 'You can have a doctor's heart for $10,000, a Rabbi's heart for $25,000 or I can give you a lawyer's heart for $100,000.' The patient asked, 'Why is the lawyer's heart so much more expensive than the others?' 'Well,' the doctor said, 'we have to go through a lot of lawyers to find a heart'."

She laughed hysterically. "That was a good one, Macalastair. You know I'm a lawyer, right?"

"Yes, me, too," I said. "That doesn't mean it isn't true. Do you know why snakes won't bite lawyers?"

"No, why?"

"Professional curtesy," I said.

She liked that one, too. "I'm okay now," she said. "I'm coming back to your lap."

She stumped over and curled up on me. She felt like a kitten wiggling around to get comfortable.

"How long do I have to be in this cast?"

"I think six weeks," I told her. "I'm a lawyer, not a doctor."

She laughed again. I loved hearing that husky little laugh.

"I can't wait six weeks," she said. "I'll go crazy. What do you do here, Mack? Doesn't it drive you crazy?"

"Caden, except for the three months I was married to Sarah and before my mother died when I was sixteen, I've always been pretty much alone. I'm happy in my own company. I have Sam and Bella. I have my books, I hunt and fish, I go to Hammerfest once a month, and sometimes I have a drink and talk to people. I occasionally meet a lady and ask her out. I'm never bored. There's too much to do when you live this far north."

"You have no telephone, no internet, no computer and no television," she said. "How do you get news?"

"I don't give a damn about the news," I said. "I do have a computer. I have a television and a Play Station 4, too. I own thousands of movies."

"When were you going to tell me about this?"

"I wasn't. I'm having too much fun talking to you."

"That's very flattering, but I want to watch a movie. Where is your stuff?"

I opened the door to the basement and waited for her to stump over. "I can't go down the stairs," she said. "You're going to have to carry me."

She held her crutches in one hand and I picked her up. I took advantage of the opportunity to squeeze her butt. I'd been dying to get my hands on it anyway. It felt amazing. It was very hard and I could tell she was very strong.

She gasped. "Stop that," she said. "You're horrible."

"No," I told her. "I'm going to do this every time I carry you from now on."

She let me get a good squeeze in and wiggled it provocatively. I set her down at the bottom of the stairs and she looked around.

"Jesus, Macalastair, you have quite a setup here."

I had a huge TV, a very good sound system and a big recliner in front of it. There were shelves full of movies and some with games.

"What games do you have?" she asked.

"Skyrim is my favorite," I told her. "I have Madden football, an NBA game, Grand Theft Auto, Saint's Row and some shooters. Are you a gamer?"

"Yes, but I mostly play the combat games."

"I have Call of Duty. You want to play?"

She did, and we played coop and against each other. "It's more fun online," she said. "You're too good for me."

"Well, being online means girls from the Special Operations Group drop in on you uninvited," I told her.

We were sitting together in the recliner and she punched me. "Yes, and one of them is going to show you the time of your life as soon as she can walk."

"I enjoy carrying her," I said. "She lets me play with her butt. It's fantastic!"

She punched me again. "I told you to stop! You did it anyway."

"It was your Call of Duty to stop me."

She gave a disgusted sigh. "You're an idiot, Mack. The pun is the lowest form of humor."

"On the contrary," I told her. "Frequent punning is a sign of genius."

"Save me, God," she said. "I want to eat popcorn and watch a movie."

"Don't you want to eat dinner first?"

"Well, yes, now that you mention it. What are we having?"

"Chicken ala King," I said.

"I don't know what that is," she admitted.

"Wait and be surprised then," I told her. "Play something on the computer or on the PlayStation and I'll have it ready in an hour."

I made biscuits first and popped them in the oven. I made more than we needed so we could eat them for dessert. The secret to good biscuits is a crispy bottom, a moist center and a flaky top. You get the last two by not working the dough too much. Shortening in the bottom of the pan makes them crispy. I cooked the chicken and made the gravy. We had green peas and I cooked those, too. Thyme, shallots, dry sherry, parsley, onion and heavy cream, along with salt and red and black pepper, went inside the pot. It needed to simmer for a while and I turned it down. The mushrooms were sautéed and ready to go in.

When the biscuits were done, I mixed the other parts and left them to simmer. I made cinnamon and honey butter and got out some grape jelly. I went down to get Caden and she paused her game. She stumped over to the stairs and tried to go up. It wasn't working.

"I think you could go down easily, but not up," I said.

"Now you tell me," she grumbled. "So help me God, Macalastair, if you touch my butt I'm going to stab you with my fork at dinner."

I didn't touch her butt. I picked her up and knelt down with her across my knee. I kissed her thoroughly, and she melted. She clung to me and her lips were alive against mine. When I squeezed her butt she didn't even notice. I carried her upstairs and all the way to the bar while she refused to stop kissing me. I put her down on the barstool and she finally let me go.

I got the biscuits out of the oven and asked her if she wanted one, or two. She decided to start with one since she didn't know if she would like it.

"It smells delicious, though," she said. "Where did you learn to cook like this?"

I've always known," I told her. "I just pick things that I know are right for what I want to do."

"You're a big fat cheater!" She couldn't believe it. "You mean your abilities make you a good cook?"

"No, they help me know how much of what I should put in. They don't give me the original ideas."

"It's still cheating," she thought.

"Did your grandmother knowing how to cook without a recipe because of her experience make you think she was cheating?"

"No, but you used a key word here; 'experience.' She got her ability to do that by experience."

"I just get my experience beforehand. The result is that same. Give it a try."

She cut her biscuit up and took a bite.

"Well?" I asked.

"You don't have to fish for compliments," she said. "You know it's delicious. I'm going to want two, after all."

We ate all we wanted and I buttered biscuits with cinnamon butter. I buttered more with normal butter and put grape jelly on them. The coffee was ready, and I got two mugs and took them downstairs. When I came back up I put the biscuits on a tray and took them down. She tried going down the stairs and managed to master the trick.

She had picked out the movie. It was one of those star-crossed lovers' tragic romances. I can't imagine what possessed me to buy it. I hated it, but I didn't tell Caden. We ate biscuits and drank coffee. I fed her and she liked the cinnamon butter best. She wept and laughed and wept again as the movie unfolded. She sobbed as the hero made his last tragic and maudlin statement.

"Oh, my God, that was so sad, Macalastair. Wasn't that a great movie?"

She clung to me and kissed me for a long time. "I loved the ending," I told her.

She finally quit crying and we cuddled for a while. She was tired and I took her upstairs. When my hands slid down, she didn't object and I held her butt in my hands as I climbed the stairs.

"I see you've become reconciled," I said.

"Yes, I actually kind of like it," she said. "I just don't like men treating me like a sex object."

"You mean men you don't intend to have sex with?"

"Yes. Of course I want the men I intend to have sex with to treat me like that."

I put her down and she hobbled off to the bathroom to shower. I brought her clean clothes down and knocked on the door. "Just throw them in," she called. I did, although I wanted to go in and get in the shower with her. When she came out, I showered and carried her upstairs. I put her in bed and crawled in. Her t-shirt came out from under the covers and she curled up with her back to my chest. I could feel that fantastic butt against me and her naked back against my chest.

She looked up at me and her eyes were pure violet. "Don't take me, Mack. No matter what I say, okay?"

I nodded and she pulled my arm over her and placed my hand on her left breast.

"You can feel it," she said.

I cupped it in my palm and lifted it up, feeling the weight in my hand. It was large and heavy and very firm. She still had the resilience of youth and there wasn't an inch of sag in spite of their weight. It kept its shape, even lying on her side. I ran my finger around the areola in a circle and it crinkled up a little. I felt the puffiness forming a little miniature cone. I touched the little nipple and she shivered. I rolled it between my thumb and forefinger and she moaned and shuddered. She spun over and clung to me, her body seeking mine, and I held her in my arms. Her passion rose and she tried to slide down. I held her firmly and kissed her firmly.

"No, Caden!" I told her. "Relax; rest, it's time to sleep. Turn back over, baby and let me just hold you."

The violet fire smoldered and died in her eyes. She kissed my lips. "Thank you, Macalastair," she said. "You're the sweetest man I've ever met."

She rolled back over and snuggled in. I held her breast in my hand and we slept. In the morning, there was a change in her. She was no longer sure of herself. She was beginning to trust me and that made her question her assumptions about what the CIA was going to do when they found me. She didn't know what to think.

She became even more physical with me. She constantly rubbed herself against me and touched me whenever I was close. She kissed me fifty times a day and her eyes glowed every time she looked at me. It was driving me crazy and I decided to alter our timetable. As soon as I did, the possibilities shifted around and I didn't see her getting hurt, anymore. Instead, I saw that there was little likelihood that I would get out unscathed. The way with the least damage involved her shooting a CIA agent.

I told her I had been thinking about a way to move things along as soon as she could use her walking boot. She was all in favor of that. Anything that took the load of doubt and anxiety off her mind was good, the way she saw it.

"I'm on edge all the time, Mack," she told me. "I need to get this over with one way or another. If it turns out like you think it will, I'll know what to do. If it turns out like I think it will, you'll go with me and everything will be good, too."

"Let's suppose it turns out like you want it to," I said. "What, exactly, do you think is going to happen?"

"I think we'll come in, we'll meet with some top people and you can tell them what they need to know. Would you mind if we ran some tests on you?"

"I'm not a lab rat, Caden."

"No, of course you aren't. What if it would help people?"

"I would like to help people, in the abstract. How much of my life do I have the responsibility to give up to help other people? Where will the tests be run and will I be free to quit if I feel like the demands are unreasonable?"

"I'll fight for that, Macalastair," she said. "If those aren't the conditions, we won't do it."

"If they won't agree to those conditions, what are you going to do?" I asked her.

"I'll help you walk out."

"What if they won't let me go?"

"We'll shoot our way out. I'm not a monster, Mack. I don't want you tortured or held prisoner."

"Are you really willing to do that? Will you shoot a fellow agent?"

"Yes, if he's violating your rights. I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Okay, supposing they want to play nice. What's going to happen to you?"

"I'll ask to be assigned to the project. We can't do any testing here. Where would you be willing to go?"

"I'd be willing to go to Reykjavik or Geneva."

"Why there?"

"I can protect myself there."

"Well, I don't see what that would be a problem. I'm kind of dancing around something here. Do you think you will want to be with me afterward?"

"You mean if it goes well and they agree that I get to call the shots?"

"Yes, that's what I mean."

"Will you want to be with me if it doesn't go well?' I asked her.

"I won't have anywhere else to turn," she said. "Damn it, Macalastair, I'm trying to get you to say something. Here I am, head over heels in love with you and you won't even tell me you'll let me be with you." She began to cry and I felt like a heel. We were sitting on the sofa and I pulled her down and she lay on my lap with my arm supporting her head.

"I want to be with you no matter what happens, baby," I told her. I pushed her hair back and cupped her cheek in my hand. I traced one of those high cheekbones and marveled at the little dusting of freckles across her cheeks and her nose.

She stopped crying and held my hand against her face.

"That's what I wanted you to say. When will we begin?"

"As soon as you get off your crutches. I'd say another week or two. We can start getting ready right away. I think we could leave for Oslo soon. It will take us a while to get there this time of year, especially if we don't want to attract any attention."

"Tell me about it," she asked.

"The only way out from where I live is by snowmobile. We would need to ride over to Hammerfest. It's a 22 hour drive from there to Oslo. This isn't the time of year to try the drive." Besides, I explained to her, we'd have to pass through multiple countries. Caden had no papers, and although I could fix that in Oslo, I didn't have that ability at home.

We would need to fly, and if someone was looking for us, that was risky. It was a risk I felt like we could take. We would be on the move and Norway just isn't an important enough country for the US to have many assets here. I had two safe places in Oslo. One of them was perfect.

As soon as she could use her walking boot we packed our bags for traveling and I promised to get her clothes in Hammerfest. We couldn't take guns. I put 500 pounds in the self-feeders for the dogs. I knew a native I could pay to come and check on them. They knew him from previous trips and wouldn't eat him.

When we got ready to leave, Caden cried. "I wish we could stay here forever," she wept. "I love this place. This is where I met you."

"I'm all for that," I told her. "This is all your idea. I was here before you came, remember?"

"I can't," she agonized. "I can't live with not knowing. It would drive me crazy. I can't be with you like I want to without knowing. Do you understand?"

"Sort of," I told her. "It's different with me. I don't have to take things on faith, so I really don't know what you're feeling. I wish you'd just believe me."

"I do believe you," she said.

I hadn't known that. It surprised me and shocked me a little. "So tell me again why we're going?

"I think the situation has changed," she said. "I was just supposed to talk to you. I didn't have any orders to kidnap you."

"I think they were using you, Caden. They thought I would have a soft spot for you because of your connection to Sarah. How else do you explain the team they sent with you?"

"I can't explain them. I don't know what their orders were. I assumed it was to protect me."

"From me? Did you imagine that I would be a danger to you?"

"What if I had come and knocked on your door? Would you have been glad to see me?"

"Decidedly not, but I wouldn't have reacted violently. If you had come with Benson I would have shot first and asked questions later. Why in God's name did they send him? They had to have known I would have killed him on sight and anyone with him."

"He was part of the support team. He wasn't part of the team that was going to make contact with you. Once we located you I was tasked to personally approach you solo."

"Okay, we'll see where that goes. You've completed your mission. All you have to do is bring me in. I'm going voluntarily. If anyone tries to make it involuntary, I'm going to take it personally."