Woodbridge Academy Ch. 05

I was just about to enter the room when I heard Matt's voice inside. He sounded kind of distraught, and my curiosity got the best of me. I stood outside the door, coffees and key card in hand, trying to hear what was happening in there. His voice was muffled, but I could make out the words if I tried.

"I don't know what to do anymore." He mumbled. "He's always mad at me. We never agree on anything. He clearly hates that I hide him, but Michelle, I have to. You know my father wouldn't understand...no...of course I want to but it's not feasible...I'm just so miserable. I can't take it anymore and something has to change...no, there's only one change that will be successful." The hurt in his voice was killing me, and I once again felt like a selfish bastard. He was right. I was always mad at him for this secret keeping, and I can see why he was annoyed with it. "Maybe I should just end it. It would be best for both of us...no, it's probably the right thing to do."

My eyes went wide at the last part. I really did make him miserable. I was the worst person in the world. I sighed and decided it was time to enter the room. Standing out here and listening to his entire conversation wasn't right. I needed to go in and face this like a man. I slid the key card into the door and took a deep breath before entering the hotel room. Matt was standing by the window with his phone to his ear. "I have to go." He told Michelle, and hung up. "Hey." He said softly. "What's that?" He asked, pointing to the tray in my hand.

"My dad got us coffees." I told him.

"Awesome, I need one." He sighed, before taking the tray from my hand and setting it on the counter. He took one and sat in the arm chair sitting in the corner and took a big gulp. He was acting so nonchalant, I had a hard time processing that he had been on the phone with his friend talking about how miserable he was. "Are you going to have yours?" He asked, staring at me over the rim of his cup.

"Do you want to break up?" I finally had the balls to ask.

He looked alarmed. "You heard."

"I did." I confessed.

He sighed and put his cup down. "I don't want to. But Jason, this isn't what you want. I don't want to force you into anything."

"Is it what you want?"

"You're what I want." He said softly, moving closer to me. I took a step back, but my back hit the wall and I felt like I was trapped. "Jay...this isn't working the way it is. I'm done trying to force you into being someone you're not. I think it's time that we just admit that we're not good for each other, no matter how badly I want to be with you, and call it a day."

"So you want to give up." I challenged.

He had a hard time keeping eye contact, and looked towards the window instead. "I don't want to give up." He said softly. "But I do think that maybe it's time to give you up. This isn't what you want."

The silence between us was thick with tension. It was practically suffocating. "It is what I want." I told him. "I like what we have going, Matt, or I wouldn't be here with you today. I wanted to spend time with you. I wanted to go out and do things with you. I love spending time with you. If I didn't, do you really think I would still be here? That I ever would have gone back to your room with you on that first night? It is what I want, or I never would have gone this far."

"But..."

"No buts! I had sex with you last night, Matt! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

He was silent for a moment, but finally looked up at me again and met my gaze. "It means everything to me." He finally answered, giving me a small grin.

"You told me you loved me." I told him. "Did you not mean that?"

"Of course I did."

"Then why are you running?" I challenged him.

"I do love you." He argued. "Jason, I'm so in love with you it scares me. But I don't want to have to keep making you do this. You clearly hate it."

"I don't hate it." I argued back. "I just wanted to spend time with you. I don't want to keep having this same argument with you. I want us to be on the same page. I know I keep trying to get you to hang out with me outside of your dorm, but did you ever think that maybe there's a reason for that? Like, maybe I want to hang out with you because I like you, care about you? I'm not embarrassed of you, and I know you're not embarrassed of me, but sometimes it feels like this is never going to go anywhere. You say you love me, yet you wanted to run? It doesn't make sense."

"I don't want to argue with you anymore, Jay." He snapped. "I hate this. It sucks. I never should have gone after you in the first place. I should have just stuck with what I was doing before. It was working. I have enough pressure in my life, I don't need it from you too. I don't want to make you deal with it anymore."

"Isn't that my choice?"

"You have made it so clear what your choice is, Jason." He yelled. "We go in circles all the damn time! It's obvious I want this more than you do. I'm done making you suffer through it."

"Have you ever thought that maybe I get upset because I care about you, Matt?" I argued back. "Maybe I haven't told you I love you, but have you considered that maybe I'm getting there? That I want to go out with you because I love spending time with you and because it is what I want to do? No one has forced me into anything. I'm so tired of you pulling me closer and then pushing me away. This was supposed to be an amazing weekend, and once again, you made it all about secrets and lies. Can we just stop it, and enjoy the time we have together for once?"

"I do enjoy spending time with you. I hate when we argue like this. This is never how I imagined things working out between us." He muttered, collapsing onto the arm chair.

His heartbroken gaze on me hit me like a punch in the gut. It was about time I accepted that things were not going to change between us. His hands were tied, and we both knew it. Everything that frustrated me about him was out of his control, so there was not much I could do except deal with it, or end it. There was just no way I was willing to walk away from this. The never ending soap opera that had become our lives was not enough to scare me away. Some things were just worth fighting for. "I don't want to break up." I told him softly. "I'm sorry I'm being so difficult, I just thought that maybe if I showed you how much I care about you, you would want to change things."

"I do want to change things." He answered. "I really do, and as soon as I can, I will. I promise. If you don't want to wait for that point in time, I would totally understand."

I sighed. "I want to wait for the time to be right, but I don't want to keep going backwards. Clearly the disguise worked. Maybe we could go out and do things together more often? I just don't like being trapped in the dorms all the time. I want to be able to actually be with you. Even if we have to go somewhere away from school, do you think we could sometime? Even just once in a while, just for a change?"

"I would love to, Jay." He returned, reaching out until he got a grip on my hand, and pulled me towards him. "I don't want you to think that the secrecy has anything to do with you. I know we argue about it a lot, but really, I don't want to break up. I just want to give you the option. It's entirely up to you. I'll do whatever you want."

"Okay." He tugged me a little closer, and I stumbled onto his lap. His face was instantly pressed against my neck, nuzzling the skin there. and I sighed. "I'm sorry we fought over something so stupid this morning. I should have known better than to give you a hard time about your father. I'm sure there's nothing there. If there was, I'm sure he would have told you. You guys are really close."

"It's okay." I told him. "You actually weren't that far off. I guess my father has been seeing someone, and so has Kyle. They just haven't been seeing each other." I shifted so that I was straddling his lap. It wasn't overly comfortable, so I stood up and moved over to sit on the bed, facing him. "But apparently Kyle is secretly seeing a man, which is probably how my father figured it all out. My father is seeing some random girl named Marissa, who is apparently dying to meet me."

"Oh? How do you feel about that?" Matt asked gently as he moved over to sit beside me.

"I don't really know. I mean, I guess it's good that he's moving on, finally, but it seems weird that he has time to see someone. He's always so busy. I guess it's a little annoying that he has time for her but not for me, although it sounds silly when you say it out loud"

"Do you think you'll meet her?"

"Do you think you could come with me?" I asked, looking up at him.

He flashed a huge grin at me. "If you want me to. I would actually love to go." Matt moved closer and grabbed my hand, playing with my fingers between his. "I would do anything to keep you happy, Jason. I wish you would jus realize that. Whatever you want, just let me know, and I'll do my best to make it happen."

"I'll stop asking you to do things out of your control." I promised. "I haven't exactly made it easy for you."

"Not really." He grinned, "But I can take it, just as long as you keep coming back."

"Then stop pushing me away." I grinned, moving closer to him. "I want this. I want you." I told him, pressing my mouth against his.

Matt wasted no time taking my advances and turning it in to more. His hands found my waist and he pulled me over until I was on top of him before his hands worked their way up to my head, holding me as close as he could. "Mm." He groaned out. "Sorry, I just can't control myself around you sometimes."

"Then don't." I whispered back.

He didn't even bother to answer me, just rolled us over so that he was on top of me, his mouth pressed hotly against my neck. Matt's hands roamed over my body until they found the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head before returning his attention to my mouth. His tongue worked against mine, my eyes were closed tightly as I savored the taste of his mouth on mine. It had the lingering taste of coffee, mixed with the essence that was purely Matt, a taste I could never get enough of. Matt quickly tired of just kissing, though, and pretty soon, his mouth was trailing down over my chest. I could never get used to the sensation of his hot mouth on my skin, setting me on fire with each brush of his lips. I let out a throaty moan as hands found the top of my pants. Once he got the button undone and began to push my pants down over my hips, he stopped long enough to pull his own shirt off before returning his attention to me. "This never gets old." He laughed against my mouth.

"I know." I kissed him back. "But seriously, Matt, if you keep up the teasing, there's going to be a major problem, and I won't let you sweet talk your way out of this one." I joked.

Before I even knew what was happening, Matt had flipped me over onto my stomach. I let out a soft oomph as I bounced on the rumpled sheets. He was immediately over me, the warm skin of his chest brushing against my back. I could feel his had dick pressed against the back of my thigh as his hand glided at a casual pace along my spine. The slow pace was taunting me, revving me up for something that was bound to be incredible. With his other hand, Matt had pushed down his boxers until he was also completely naked against me. The new position prevented me from seeing what he was up to behind me. "You okay?" He asked, as he pulled me up to my hands and knees.

"Yeah." I breathed out as his hand found my backside and his fingers began to work down between my cheeks. "I'm perfect, actually."

"You look so perfect like this." He told me, so softly I could barely hear him. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He added.

I didn't even have time to answer him before his fingers brushed against my hole and I jumped at the sensation. One finger breached the tight muscles, and all logical thought left my brain. I grasped the sheets tightly as he teased me with just the one finger tip. The sore muscles form our activities the night before.

I let out a grunt as Matt pressed his finger deeper into me without warning. Matt's breath was rapid against my back as he slid his finger in and out, before he finally added a second digit, stretching my hole to accommodate his hand. My grip on the sheets was so tight my knuckles were turning white, but it wasn't enough. I wanted him inside me. No—I needed him inside me, needed to feel that fullness, the closeness of Matt making love to me.

"More." I moaned out as his fingertip brushed against my prostate, jumping at the instant pleasure that shot along my spine. "God, I need more"

"Tell me what you need." Matt whispered in my ear, not slowing down the movement of his fingers. With each thrust, he bumped against that little bundle of nerves that made me see stars.

"Matt." I groaned out in frustration. He was making it too difficult to think straight, and the thought of putting words together in a coherent sentence seemed impossible. I could barely string them together in a clear thought, let alone vocalize what I wanted.

"I know, baby." He said gently with a soft kiss to the back of my neck. In one seemingly flawless motion, Matt rolled me back over onto my back and spread my legs. At some point in ll of this, he had managed to get a condom on and lube up without me even noticing. It was beginning to alarm me that I was so out of focus during sex, but the second Matt's round head pressed against my hole, I lost all current thoughts and let myself think of nothing but Matt, feel nothing but his hardbody pressed against mine as he slid his impressive length inside me in one smooth motion. It didn't hurt as much as last night, but it wasn't really a walk in the park either. His hands found mine as he settled in, and he grasped my fingers tightly as he leaned down to kiss me. "I love you." He murmured softly against my mouth. I didn't quite know how to respond, but I think Matt got that pretty well, and just let it go as he began to slide in and out of me. His hands stayed in mine, so I wrapped my les around his waist, pulling him closer to me with each thrust. My cock bounced hard against my stomach with each thrust, and I was just dying to wrap my hand around it and stroke myself to completion.

Matt was having none of that though, and kept fucking me slowly, kissing along my neck and jaw as he slid in and out of me at a torturously slow pace, burning me with each stroke. "Oh, fuck." I moaned out as his hard cock head rubbed against my prostate.

Matt grinned against my mouth, and it was all he took before he began to pump up his rhythm, pounding in and out of me faster and harder with each thrust. The bed creaked beneath us as he drove into me, filling me up and driving me wild. His hands finally released mine, and he instantly moved his hand to grasp my cock. As soon as he made contact with the flesh, I didn't stand a chance. Cum erupted out of me with volcanic force, splashing across my stomach and chest as Matt growled with his own orgasm, filling the condom inside me. He collapsed on top of me, not seeming to care about the layer of sweat and jizz that coated me. My ass twitched around him, totally spent from the pounding I had just received, but aching with pleasure all at the same time. It was an interesting feeling, but one that I loved. Mostly because it was all with Matt.

"Fuck." He moaned out as he pulled out of me. "That was amazing."

"Sure was." I returned, lazily stroking his hair. I loved the weight of his body against mine, and didn't want to waste a minute of our remaining time in the hotel room with anything but staying pressed against this wonderful man who had shown me so much in such a short period of time.

Unfortunately, the busy morning had taken up much of our time, and we had to go back to school before we even got to enjoy the room much longer. The train ride back was boring, having to behave now that Matt was out of his costume. We had shoved the wig and glasses back into our bags, just in case we could ever make use of them again. If I had my way, we would use them as much as possible over the next few months until they were no longer necessary.

By the time we made it back to school, I made my way over to the pool to get in a workout, and Matt said goodbye so that he could get some work done for the student government meeting he had on Sunday. The locker room was empty, which meant I was most likely about to get in some private time, which was exactly what I needed. I wanted to shave a second or two off my event time, but I was finding that it was easier said than done. I was still a little sore from the activities of the night and morning, so I wasn't too sure how this was going to go.

As I expected, the pool was empty, so I flipped the radio on to the channel that I wanted, and jumped in to start a warm up. The cool water was a shock at first, but I rapidly adjusted once I got in a warm up. All the stress and angst from this morning disappeared with each lap, and I was once again at peace with how everything went down with Matt.

It was safe to say that I was incredibly confused about what was happening. I felt one way, then another, acted another way...it was all very confusing and frustrating and I just had no idea what I was supposed to do. I know I wanted to be with Matt, but part of me felt like it was bound to end poorly for one of us. He still had his secret thing with Michelle, and I still wanted to spend time with him outside of school. It really had been a constant game of ups and downs, and it was pretty exhausting. I was not one for drama, but it seemed like that's all this had been. However, I promised Matt I would be patient and stick with it, so stick with it I would.

After fifty laps or so, I was feeling much better about where I stood. It amazed me how easily swimming could ease my mind. It was the one constant I had, and I was able to process anything I needed to. No one to bother me, boss me around, ask for things. Just me and the water. It really didn't get any better. I couldn't even hear anyone under the water; it was truly as private and isolating as I could get.

I grabbed on to the ledge and pulled myself up on to the mats surrounding the pool, grabbing my towel as I did so. Running my towel over my chest and shoulders, I yanked my goggles off and went to head towards the locker room. I jumped nearly a foot in the air when I saw someone sitting on the bleachers watching me, with a hood up over their head. I glanced over at the door and realized there was no way I was making it to the locker room without going past this creep. I took a deep breath and decided to just walk past as if there was nothing weird. My plan was ruined, however, when the hooded person got up and walked towards me, blocking my path completely by doing so. He took off his hood, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was just Adam. Not that I really felt like I was in any danger, but it was weird to see someone lurking like that.

"Hey, Evans." He greeted me. He had barely acknowledged my presence in all the time I've known him, busy with sports I didn't participate in. He was one of the wealthy kids, almost as popular as Matt, and definitely didn't run in my circle. It still amazed me that he spoke to Josh, but then again, Josh had money. He was just a laid back guy who didn't flaunt it to the world.

"Hey." I coughed, wrapping my towel around my waist and wondering why the hell he was following me. "Getting in a workout?"

"Naw." He took a step closer, and it made me uneasy so I took one back. His forehead wrinkled and he looked unhappy, but I didn't trust him one bit. "I wanted to talk to you. I saw you heading this way so I thought I'd wait for you to finish practicing. I've never watched you swim before. You're really good."