Yakima Ch. 11-12

When the ship docked in Fort Lauderdale, I was ready to leave. Ten days on the water was just about the right amount of time for me. I spent a night in Miami before departing the next morning for Washington, D.C. While the weather in the Caribbean was perfect, the weather in Washington was anything but. Rain, cold, wind ... I might as well have been in Seattle. However, I had three days to see the sights and I took advantage of them. I spent a whole day at the Smithsonian and still didn't see everything I would have liked to.

I went to the Vietnam Memorial Wall on a drizzly, cold morning. I had never served in the armed forces, but I could not help but be deeply moved by that black, polished seemingly endless list of names of the victims in that pointless war. Were we headed for another equally futile endeavor in Iraq and Afghanistan? It seemed that way. I felt the tears on my cheeks, but when I looked around at the handful of others standing there, some looking for specific names, I could see I was not alone with my emotions.

I had plenty of opportunity to think while I was away. The days on the ship as it moved from port to port gave me time to contemplate my future. If there was one question still nagging at me, it was Ali. Was I in love with her? Every indication said I was. She was seldom out of my thoughts, regardless of where I was.

By all reasonable standards, the answer was yes. So ... why was I hesitating? What kept me from making a commitment? Was it Reese, and what she might think? Was it my children? My parents? I kept eliminating the doubts, one by one until I could come to no other conclusion than my instincts were pointing me in one direction. Life is full of risks and if I waited around until all the risks were eliminated, there would be nothing left to be excited about. Ali represented excitement and change. I wanted and needed that in my life. Especially now.

To Be Concluded