A Painful Confession: Cliff and Amy

"Thanks."

I drove back home with a purpose. The guy didn't know me from Adam, but he'd giving me some great advice. When I came back in the door Amy was talking on her cell phone. She looked surprised to see me and whispered urgently into her phone when she saw me enter the room.

"I have to go..." She whispered. "...no...I can't...he's back...bye..."

By the tense look on her face I suspect she was speaking to her boyfriend. It galled me, but I forced myself to remain calm and resolute. I needed to do what that smart bartender told me.

I returned to my seat. The cold coffee cup was still there. Amy sat across from me with a serious look on her face.

"Cliff..." She started to say before I cut her off.

"Hold it. Let me speak. I'm not sure I want to hear, but I think I have to know how your affair got started. I hope it will somehow help me deal with it."

With a grim look I asked her, "So how long Amy? How long have you been forsaking our wedding vows?"

Amy let out a sigh. Right to the point she must have thought.

"Not too long." She admitted. "We've been friends for a while. It didn't turn physical until a few months ago."

When I just sat there without a word, she decided to keep going.

"It started innocently enough. As you know Cody and I both work at the same school. We met last year when he was hired and became friends and colleagues soon after that. No long after he was hired he started showing up in the lunch room. The room is pretty small and there's only a few tables. No one minded when he asked to join me and a few friends at our table. After that day it wasn't unusual for Cody to join the girls for lunch Not everyday mind you, just now and then."

"I'd see him at an occasional lunch. The other Teachers I eat with are all females and most are married. Since he was one of the few male teachers, not to mention that he's young, single and good looking, everyone seemed to enjoy his company. I did too. There was no flirting. Just some good natured banter with a group of Teachers enjoying a lunch break."

"It was around that time when Heidi and I, and some of the other teachers had been talking about joining an exercise class. We've been complaining for years about how we were all out of shape. We wanted to join a health spa to work out and get back in shape. But you know how expensive some of those health clubs are. So we never did."

"I wouldn't have minded paying for a gym membership." I told her truthfully.

"I know you would have Sweetheart. But with two kids in college and a house payment, we're always tight with finances. I didn't want to burden us with the cost of a gym membership as well. Besides, it was just a trivial topic of conversation between me and the girls. We weren't really serious about it."

"Well, Cody was in the lunchroom and overheard what we were talking about. He agreed that having an exercise class for the teachers was a great idea. He said we could use the weight room in the school's gym if we wanted. He even volunteered to be our Personal Trainer to show us what to do."

"I'm sure he did." I remarked dryly.

"Everyone thought it was a wonderful idea. You were involved in some big project around that time. If you remember you were getting home quite a bit later than me. I had a couple hours of free time after school which I usually spent grading papers and planning my lessons. I've been wanting to get in shape for a while, but was worried about the cost. Since Cody wasn't going to charge us anything, money was no object, and using the gym right after school was so convenient."

"How nice. I'm sure Cody was thrilled. So how did we get from exercising with Cody to fooling around?"

"I'll get to that. I think you remember me telling you I was starting a workout program with Heidi and the girls."

"Yes." I replied.

I did remember her mentioning it. She's right, I was busy back then because we had a big push at work to land an important client. I was late getting home quite a few nights, so I was not displeased that Amy had something to keep her occupied until I arrived home for dinner.

She did seem more upbeat back then. She casually mentioned her workouts to me over diner a few times and I noticed she was pretty enthusiastic about getting in shape. I remember thinking then that she did seem thinner, like she lost a few pounds. Not that she needed to, because she was never overweight.

Amy's always been slender. She never had a weight problem since I've known her. Her hips are trim, her butt is flat and her waistline narrow. Her small, firm breasts go perfectly with her slim figure. After she told me she was exercising I particularly remember her legs, which have always been her best feature (and look great in heels), began to look more defined. She does have a noticeable "baby bump" on her tummy but its not unsightly. I think most mothers her age have one.

As I reminisced about those happy times Amy continued.

"At first it was just us girls exercising, and Cody of course. We were using the school's weight room after school let out. Cody was our unofficial, unpaid Instructor. He held kind of an after school exercise class for teachers. It was fun and gave us time to visit and decompress after a busy day with students."

"I enjoyed it a lot. But unfortunately after a while the other girls began to drop out one by one. They said they were too busy and couldn't spend the time away from their families. After three months it was just Heidi, Cody and I working out. Another two weeks even Heidi decided to give it up."

"So now it was just you and Cody." I observed, trying not to overreact.

"Yes. I asked him if we should quit because everyone but us was too busy. Cody said he was sad to hear that. He said he enjoyed our class and especially spending time with me. He made it clear he'd like to continue."

"At first I was disinclined to do so. I've never done anything even remotely improper the entire time we've been married. I told Cody that I was worried about the gossip of a married woman like me spending time alone with a good looking single guy like him. He laughed and said I wasn't giving myself enough credit. He said despite the difference in our ages, he found me very attractive and fun to be with. He was grateful that he could be friends with a lovely woman like me."

"I was surprised to hear that. Until then I had no idea he had such thoughts about me. I thanked him for the compliment, but that it didn't resolve my concerns. Cody said he sympathized but worrying about other people's opinions was no reason to give up on good health. That's when he suggested moving our workouts to the gym in his apartment complex."

She lowered her eyes and seemed a bit contrite.

"I probably shouldn't have considered it. But at that time I wasn't even remotely thinking about an affair. I admit I was flattered by his remarks. Cody's a good looking guy, much younger than me. Looking back I probably already had a bit of a crush on him, even though I didn't want to admit it. Until then I just considered him kind of like a fun, sexy younger brother."

"I guess that changed though."

"Yes. It sure did." She said. "As it turned out I accepted his offer. It solved the problem of school gossip, because no one from school would see us together. It would also allow me to continue to improve my body. The next day we started our workouts there. The room was pretty small though and wasn't as nice as the weight room at the school. But it did have a few weights, a mat, some machines and a treadmill. No one must use it much, because it was always empty when we were there. The first couple times we used it we had great workouts."

"But then...?" I coaxed.

"Yeah. After a couple weeks that changed. I knew being alone with him like that was dangerous. But I was so in love with you I knew I could handle it. There was never any insinuation from either of us to do anything but workout. Cody's a nice guy, funny and lots of fun to be with. He's also handsome and in great shape. I couldn't ignore that his muscular body was tempting. By our third session I had to force myself to concentrate on working out and not let my thoughts drift to places it shouldn't. As usual he was very friendly and helpful. We both enjoyed working out together."

"And then...?" I repeated, growing impatient.

She looked at me earnestly as if pleading for understanding.

"We never meant for anything to happen. I sure didn't. We were just a couple of fun loving friends exercising together and still having lunch sometimes. We never told anyone about our "private" workouts, and I guess everyone thought we had ended the after school workouts due to lack of interest."

"After one of our workouts I felt a bit of pain in my shoulder. Cody noticed and offered to massage it for me and I let him. I know now that was a step too far. His strong hands felt great as he worked on my shoulder muscles. I could feel him digging his fingers into the sore spot and in no time the pain was gone. I was about to thank him when, out of the blue he turned me around, held my arms in both hands, leaned down and kissed me on the lips."

"I was shocked, caught completely off guard. I was attracted to him of course, but I never expected this bold move. I was so stunned that I didn't stop him when he pulled me into a full embrace and kissed me again, this time passionately."

Amy's eyes lowered as she said, "I hate to admit it, but I responded to him. I lost my senses for a bit and we made out right there in the privacy of the workout room. No one came in to interrupt and pretty soon we were doing a lot more than just kissing. When Cody suggested going to his apartment to shower, I just nodded my head in a daze."

"So that's how it started? In his apartment."

"Yes. I was so turned on I don't even remember how we got to his place. It was like I was floating along on a cloud as he led me out the door and up the steps to his apartment."

"By this time I knew what was going to happen. But I was so horny I couldn't think straight. He was too because we barely got inside and closed the door before we were making out again. He slid my shorts down my legs and pulled them off. Then he removed my top and bra and led me to his bedroom in just my panties. The shower he mentioned was completely forgotten. I let him lay me on the bed and watched as he undressed himself. His cock was already erect when he joined me there. After a brief bit of foreplay we had sex. Later we did shower, and had sex again right there in the shower."

Amy looked a little shaken at her detailed admission. Maybe she was ashamed, I don't know.

With a flushed face she told me, "When I finally noticed the time, it was late and I was in a panic to leave. I knew you'd be late, but I was desperate to get home before you. It was the first time since we married that I had sex with another man and the experience was unreal. I couldn't believe what just happened. I was still light headed on the drive home. I don't know how I didn't have an accident.

"So you came home to me freshly fucked and I never knew a thing."

"I guess that's true. I got home a half hour before you. It gave me time to shower and clean up so you'd never know. I dressed in record time and fixed a quick meal for us. When you got home I lied and told you I wasn't feeling well and went straight to bed after a short dinner. You were so sweet about it, asking if there was anything I needed to help me feel better. I was already guilty as hell, hating myself for being so weak. Your concern only made me feel worse."

"But not bad enough to stop the affair."

"No. You're right. When I went to school the next day I didn't even want to see Cody, let alone talk to him. He had to search me out and force me to go to lunch with him to clear things up. He could see that I was upset about what happened, and he didn't want me to feel bad about it. He said he was very fond of me and that it was a wonderful experience. If I didn't want to be with him again he would accept that. But he'd always treasure the memory of being with a beautiful older woman like me."

"His flattery finally did break through my anxiety. He acted like what we did was no big deal and he teased me for being so worried. The longer we talked the more I began to relax and just consider his remarks. By the end of lunch I was laughing at his funny jokes and teasing him back."

"During our chat he made it clear he'd like to see me again, but wasn't pressuring me to. Whether he was just playing me or not, the lack of pressure made me even more attracted to him. He was a handsome, talented lover and I had to admit the sex was great. I began to wonder what our next session would be like, now that I knew what he had to offer in the bedroom."

"After that day we didn't get together for lunch as much. Being with him in public so often would have drawn unwanted attention. But we did continue meeting at his apartment after school a few days a week. There were no more workouts though, just sex. I know it was wrong but I didn't stop. Once I decided to cheat I found myself enjoying being with him even more. I was a little nervous that I was putting our marriage at risk. But I worked hard to make sure you didn't notice anything different about me. I guess I was successful."

She let out a deep breath, as if telling me this story was a big load off her mind.

"So where to we go from here?" I asked. "You just admitted to lying and cheating on me for months. How do you think I feel? My cheating wife is being fucked by some young stud not much older than our kids, and I never knew a thing. You expect me to congratulate you for being so clever?"

"No! Not at all Cliff." She reached across the table and held my hand. I tensed up but didn't pull away. No matter how devastated I was, I still loved her.

"Please understand. I'm very ashamed for deceiving you." She said. "I hate the fact that I let you down. I know you never knew about Cody because we've been very discreet about our relationship. I didn't want you to know about us. I was so ashamed of what I was doing and nervous you'd suspect something. The first few times I came home after meeting him I felt terrible and vowed it would never happen again. Cody was very supportive to my situation. He never pressured me to continue. He left it up to me. He was happy to just see me occasionally. We both agreed that we didn't want to mess up my marriage."

"I guess that changed."

She held my hand tighter and watched to see how I was taking this.

"No matter how badly I behaved I know I love you. Cody's a good guy and he'll be a great catch for a lucky girl someday, but he can never take your place. I told him all the time that we'd never be more than friends with benefits and he agreed with that. He said he was very fond of me, but felt the same way.

"As long as we didn't raise any suspicions at school, I knew I could probably go on having sex with him and no one would know. However completely avoiding him when our coworkers knew we were friends would raise questions I didn't want to answer. So we still had lunch once in a while to appear normal. But we never let on that we were anything more than friends. Heidi and other teachers even joined us sometimes at lunch. I know they never suspected anything."

"I'm sure you were one clever cheater." I spat out, losing my cool for a moment.

Amy flashed me a sad look and nodded her head.

"Yeah, I was clever all right. On the surface I was a faithful wife with a great teaching job, lots of friends and a good, traditional marriage."

"Inside I knew it was a lie. The problem was I couldn't avoid was my conscious. I always considered myself an honest person and a good wife. My bad behavior undermined that image. Deep down I began to hate myself for deceiving you. Our marriage is precious to me and had always been the most important part of my life. What I had with Cody was just a temporary situation. I do care about him. But my feelings toward him are just a shadow of what I feel for you. My lack of integrity began to bother me to the point where I was becoming jaded about my life. Despite how I'd handled things I was losing my virtuous self image. I had become someone I didn't like."

"The answer to that is just to stop cheating."

"Yes that's probably true. But I'm not sure I can right now." With harsh honesty Amy admitted, "I'd like to think I could just drop Cody and things between us would just go back to normal Cliff. But truthfully I doubt that."

"Why?" I shot back, unable to remain passive. "You said yourself we're happy together. We've raised two great kids and have gone through some of the hardest parts of married life. We both have great jobs and have built a life together. With Martha and Robbie at college we now have a chance to enjoy our time together in a way that we haven't been able to before. If you love me like you say, coming back to be my faithful wife and giving up that asshole should be a none issue."

She exhaled hard and shot me a look of concern.

"It probably would have been, at first. Now I'm not so sure. Of course I love you like no other Cliff. But for the past few months I've seen another side of life and learned a lot about myself and my needs. I'm not sure I can, even if I want to, just go back to the way I was. I've tried to be the same loving wife to you that I've always been. But being with Cody has opened my eyes to, well, other options."

I angrily pulled my hand from hers. I tried to remain calm but I couldn't.

"Other options huh?" I spat. "You can't stop fucking him. Is that it? You're too in love with his dick. I was good enough to marry and support you and your kids all these years. But some hot shit young stud comes along later in life and I'm not good enough anymore."

"Nooo! Its not that honey. Don't ever think that." She declared. "I've always said you're the best husband and father I could have asked for. But after so many years of marriage I've changed. We both have. Neither one of us is the same as when we first married. Its not a bad thing. Its just the natural progression of two people who've lived together for many years."

I glared at her, unable to speak without losing control.

When she saw I wasn't speaking Amy said, "I don't want to hurt you Cliff. I really don't. I know you may not believe that right now but its true. We are going to be together and nothing will change between us, I'll make sure of that. Despite feeling bad for your feelings, I'm not unhappy with my life right now. I have a wonderful husband who I love very much, two wonderful kids who love and respect you. I just have a male friend I see occasionally for fun and excitement. A nice young guy that I like, who makes me feel things I haven't felt since I was a teenager. I hope you can understand how I feel, and that you'll love me enough to allow me this favor"

"You bitch..." I whispered under my breath. "...you fucking bitch."

If she heard me she didn't say anything. She just kept talking.

"Its not a bad thing Cliff. Just remember I'm always there for you. You can always count on me. But I'd like things to remain the way they are for a while longer. Not forever. Just until I finish exploring these new experiences. Then I'll end it with Cody and go back to being yours exclusively. That's what I want for us, just give me a little time to settle down. I hope you can appreciate how honest I am. I don't want any more secrets. If you allow me this liberty I promise I'll make it up to you. You'll never want for anything Darling. I'll always be a good wife. No one will ever know about the tiny bit of time I spend away from you. Just give me a little support on this one issue and I'll reward you for the rest of your life!"

Shit!

This conversation was worse by the minute. When she first laid out her affair on me I was caught off guard. We started our regular dinner time chat, with me feeling great about my marriage. In a few short minutes I've gone from being a happy husband, to a depressed cuckold. My formerly "loving" wife, now has a lover who is younger, and no doubt more virile than me.