A Painful Confession: Cliff and Amy

It took me a few minutes to regain my bearings. This was a lot of shit to contend with. I thought I could convince her to listen to reason and end this affair. Now it was clear she had no intention of ending it. She just needed my cooperation to allow her to continue to "explore" her feelings. This was cheater's bull shit at the highest level.

I tried to stay calm. Yelling at her would just make her defensive. I know Amy and admitting this must have been a momentous decision. She wasn't the kind of sleazy bimbo that would just go out and frivolously screw around on me. I would never have married her if I thought that.

I had to believe she's been planning this "intervention" for a while. And that she's already discussed this at length with her lover. He may have even suggested it to her in the first place, to calm her fears and make her more available to him. He was one slick bastard all right. If I assumed the role of the jealous, jilted husband it would only make me look bad and push her deeper into the arms of her lover. I had to keep my wits and not go off like a wild man.

"It all sounds so wonderful Amy...for you that is." I told her. "You get to have hot sex with a young stud and if I'm lucky, I get a few of his sloppy seconds. To tell you the truth, I wish I could reverse role with this asshole. That way I'd get you and any other brainless bimbos that wanted my dick."

She scowled. "Its not that way at all!"

"You think you're the only pussy he's getting? Don't be naive."

"I don't know. I'm sure he sees other women. He says he isn't having sex with anyone but me. If he does he always uses a condom. But it doesn't matter."

"Should I get an STD test? Should you?"

I thought that would throw her for a loop. But I was the one caught off guard because once again my clever wife was one step ahead of me. Instead of a shocked, angry look, Amy gazed at me with a smug expression. She went to her purse and pulled out an envelope.

"You can get one if you want." She said as she pulled a few papers from the envelope and slid them on the table in front of me. "But you don't have to."

"I'm not stupid you know." She said with irritation. "Read this and I hope it settles your concerns about that issue. Its the results of our blood work. We knew if you found out we were together this would come up. So I had Cody take me to a clinic last month. We've both been tested for venereal diseases and this is the results. If you read it you'll see that both of us are clean."

As I scanned the papers she said, "The first couple times we were together, I did lose my head and we forgot to use protection. But since then we've used condoms every time, even though I haven't noticed him with any other woman. To be honest I'm sure he dates. He told me he isn't in a serious relationship. Despite that we decided it was only common sense to use condoms when we're together. I hope you appreciate how I'm trying to be sensible and avoid any problems."

I slid the papers back to her and stated, "So you're going to remain married to me, and just see him occasionally on the side."

"That's right. Just like we have been. Remember honey, until now you haven't noticed anything unusual and you won't. I'll make sure of that."

"But you've been lying to me. Right?"

"Well, yeah. That's right. But I had to. I didn't want to hurt you."

"You've been lying for months! In fact, you're so good at lying I never suspected anything. Now you admit to all the lies and the cheating, and promise to keep me as your husband. But don't you see the problem with that? Now that I know you've lied repeatedly, and not just to me but to our kids, our friends and everyone else we know, how the hell can I ever trust you again? How do I know you're not just going to change your mind? Change your mind about Cody or some other hot guy you meet some time in the future, and replace me with a younger model?"

Amy snorted in frustration because she knew I had a point and it hit the nail on the head. No matter what she said, she was now a verified liar. Nothing she said could be trusted. She looked back at me and her eyes were watery, like she wanted to dispute my claim but knew I said the truth.

"I would never do that and you know it." She finally told me.

"You have a lot of nerve." I told her bitterly. "Acting all entitled and arrogant. Throwing your adultery in my face. You even took a blood test with him. Why shouldn't I just get rid of you? I don't want a cheating slut wife. I never did. I should just divorce your sorry ass and be done with you."

If I thought those bitter words would sting I was mistaken. Amy's expression softened and she looked at me with unexpected compassion. When she spoke there was an edge to her tone she hadn't used before.

"I know this is difficult right now." She answered trying not to appear smug. "But divorce? I doubt that would be in your best interest Cliff."

"Why? At least I could keep my pride."

Her look of pity was infuriating. "A divorce would hurt me badly, and you too honey."

"At least I wouldn't have to put up with your affair any longer."

"That may be true." She shrugged indifferently. "But I don't think you'll be happy getting a divorce. Neither of us would."

Her eyes locked onto my face.

In a sharper tone she explained, "To start with, as you know we live in a no fault state. I'll probably end up with half of everything, including the house, the savings and our retirement fund. Because you adopted Martha and Robbie you'll be required to contribute to their college education. There's also alimony since I don't make half what you do on my meager Teacher's salary. The Court will expect you to support me in a reasonable manner. It could al come to quite a tidy sum."

I guess her and her young lover have this all worked out.

"So you'd clean me out in the divorce." It was a statement.

"I certainly don't want to." She informed me. "I'd never want to do that. I want to keep living with you and loving you the same as always. But if you left me in a divorce, you'd be on the hook for quite a bit of money. Of course I'd still be free to see Cody anytime I want, which I know would be uncomfortable for you. Its much better if we just keep on like we have been. We'll remain married and live our wonderful life, you'll still have me as your loving wife and we can have great sex anytime you want. No one will ever know the difference. I'll always keep you my number one guy."

Then she added in a sympathetic tone, "I'll always be grateful for your open mindedness about this and I'll give you anything you want. I just want some time with Cody. Not a lot. Just a bit. The rest of the time I'll keep making you happy."

"I was happy...before you laid this shit on me." I said bitterly. "Now I know I'm just a stupid cuckold for my faithless wife and that bastard you work with."

"Its not like that Cliff." I began to walk away and she called out, "Wait! Don't go honey. We have to discuss this some more. Please."

"There's nothing to discuss Amy. You've issued your ultimatum. Now I have to decide if I want to accept it."

"There's nothing for you to worry about." She cried. "Nothing will change between us you'll see. I don't want you to think about anything other than I love you so much for allowing me this freedom. I'll do anything to make you happy."

"Then end your affair right now."

She took a frustrated breath, looked down and whispered, "I can't do that just yet honey. I can't stop right now. It won't be for long though."

"Then there's nothing more to talk about. This conversation is over. I've heard all I can stand. You told me how you feel and nothing I say will convince you otherwise. At the same time I'll never be able to believe anything you say again. I give up trying to talk sense to a liar and a cheat."

I felt like I couldn't breath and had to get away to relieve the tension. Behind me I heard her say, "Wait Cliff. Please don't hate me. I love you so much."

I went into the den and turned on the TV. I didn't care what was on. I was still in a daze from the difficult conversation. I thought about going to a hotel and staying away without telling her. I was so angry I wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me. But I knew leaving home and getting drunk was not my style. I guess I'm too rational or boring to do anything rash.

I was numb and tired. It felt like a nightmare. How could she do this to me? Did she really believe I could share her with some slick talking guy from her school? I never thought I was that bad in bed. I knew I wasn't physically deformed and certainly wasn't cheated by mother nature. I always felt I was sufficiently endowed and Amy never complained. In fact she told me many times that she loved our time in bed and that we have a wonderful sexual relationship. Now that she tasted some forbidden fruit, was she so dissatisfied with my performance she needed to find satisfaction with another guy? Unfortunately I guess the answer is yes.

I watched TV for another hour or so. There was a game on but I couldn't tell you one thing about it. I heard my wife leave the kitchen at some point. The sliding glass doors opened and closed when she went out on the back deck. I guess she was calling someone and needed privacy, probably the shit head boyfriend to let him know how our conversation went.

She came in quite a while later and entered the den. I was on the recliner so she couldn't sit next to me. She did move close and watched me for a while.

"Are you all right Cliff?" She asked sweetly. "I know this was a lot to accept honey, and I want to help you."

I glanced over and saw her flash me a weird smile.

"You want to talk some more? Or do you want to go to bed?" She asked, "You know I'll do anything to make you feel better. I really want to."

I was disgusted. Offering me sex to console my hurt feelings. A pity fuck for your poor old husband. Probably at the suggestion of her boyfriend. Sloppy seconds for the clueless dupe. How cliché. The whole idea pissed me off.

I just ignored her offer and went upstairs to bed. I was furious with my wife and thought about sleeping in the guest room. But decided she was the one at fault. So why should I leave my room? I undressed in record time and jumped into bed.

A few minutes later Amy entered the room. She saw I was already under the covers so she went to our private bathroom and changed into a sexy nightgown she knew I liked. She turned off the light, slid under the covers without a word and began sliding toward me. I now know she's a cheater and had no intention of putting my dick into her well used hole. I turned on my side away from her and hoped she'd get the message. Instead she moved closer, tried to spoon me and reach for my cock. I pushed her hand away.

"Like to fool around honey?" She whispered softly. "I know you're upset with me right now. But I'm serious about helping you, and giving you everything you want. I really need you tonight. I'm still your loving wife. Would you make love to me? I'd really appreciate it."

I bit my lip to keep control. Unfortunately I couldn't help being turned on by her warm skin and those soft breasts touching my back. I could feel her nipples and smell the sexy scent of her body. For decades she was my sole lover. She always turned me on. Tonight was no different.

"Please Cliff. I'll make it good honey."

Her hand slid back down to my traitorous cock. It had a mind of its own, and feeling her erect nipples against my bare back was exciting. She began to squeeze and fondle my erection and knew that I was horny because it was already getting hard. She had to stifle an amused giggle at my condition as her fingers worked me expertly. It was obvious to both of us she was turning me on.

Something about the fact that I wasn't her only lover anymore triggered a primal response. I wanted desperately to reclaim my wife; to mark her tits and fuck her hard for a long time. I even imagined hurting her pussy with my cock, to fuck her until we both enjoyed strong simultaneous orgasms. Even her sweet voice was driving me crazy.

"I know you need me Darling. I'm ready too." She whispered groping me.

"I'm so wet and you're so hard. I know you need it. Just let me..." She purred as her promises ended in a soft moan. She began jerking me harder.

I was about to give in to my lust. To roll over on top of her and ravage my faithless spouse with my rock hard weapon of love. When suddenly an image appeared in my head.

It was a revolting image of my slender, 51 year old wife on Cody's bed. She was lying on her back getting vigorously fucked. I could almost see his ass pumping up and down between her flailing white legs and hear the bed springs squeaking in a rhythm with his thrusts. I imagined her grabbing his ass and smiling at him as he took what was exclusively mine.

The disgusting image grew more vivid and I began to lose my erection. I've read how some guys love watching their wife fucking other men. That certainly wasn't my experience. The mental image of her slim pale legs wide apart, and her hips undulating as he thrust into her body made me nauseous.

Without moving I pulled her hand off my dick and said, "Not tonight."

"But honey...I know you're upset. I just wanted to..."

I flipped over and glared at her. She was startled by my angry expression and drew back from me. Even in the dark I'm sure she could sense my bitterness.

"Of course I'm upset dammit." I spit out. "I just found out I've been a cuckold for months. If you need sex so bad go call Cody. I'm sure your young stud can take care of your hungry cheating cunt."

Amy was flabbergasted. I don't think she expected me to reject her like this. I glared at her for a few moments, then spun back on my side facing the wall. Amy didn't say a word, and didn't bother me anymore. I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep, and I know she did too.

The next morning I was up before the alarm went off. I barely slept and was still bitter as hell at the conversation last night. Amy was in bed but she wasn't asleep. I took a quick shower and when I came out she'd already left the bedroom.

Amy had to be at the school an hour before I did. I've always been an early riser. Even though I didn't have to go in early I was usually up before her and sometimes even fixed breakfast. Not anymore. That was before I knew she was fucking that asshole.

I dressed and cleaned up in record time. When I left the room I saw her downstairs fixing breakfast in the kitchen for a change.

"Good morning Cliff." She called out sweetly. "There's bacon and eggs for you, and some toast. You want some coffee too dear?"

I ignored her greeting and her offers. Fuck her and her boyfriend. Without even looking in her direction I just walked out of the house.

"Cliff, wait please!" I heard her call out as I slammed the door, got in my car and zoomed off down the street.

I admit I shed some tears on the way to work. I just couldn't understand how she could disrespect me and our marriage like this. I loved her so much. For two decades she was the main focus of my life. My lover and best friend. We had so many plans now that the kids were grown and out of the house. This was to be our time to shine. Now it was all fucked up.

At work I tried to forget about my problems. But I kept thinking about her and that young SOB and couldn't concentrate. Through the day I got several calls from Amy. I didn't answer and her messages went to voice mail. I didn't bother listening to them and just deleted them. She sent me a few cute texts. I glanced at them and deleted them too.

With her texts and calls I couldn't get her out of my mind. I made several simple mistakes in some of the work I was reviewing, and finally decided to take the afternoon off.

I called up a Lawyer for a consultation. He was an old guy and took me in right away. It seemed what Amy told me about divorce was true. I would be fucked emotionally and financially, while she'd come out well off, with a young stud boyfriend to fuck. I'd be financially strapped supporting her, and since I never cheated I didn't have a girlfriend to soothe my heartache. I'd end up rather poor and alone, and maybe in a small one bedroom apartment. Not a pretty picture.

If I stayed with her it wasn't much better. Sure I'd get sex. She made sure to emphasis that. But it would be sloppy seconds and pity fucks to boot. It was clear this younger guy rung her bell in a way I never would. At 47 years old, there was no way I could compete in bed with a good looking, athletic 30 year old, or however old his is.

Also if I stayed in the marriage and ignored her cheating, to the Court it meant I was sanctioning her affair. They'd assume I was okay with a cheating wife, and I could never claim adultery in a divorce proceeding.

Even more daunting was trying to fight fire with fire. Basically remain married and have my own competing affair. In a relationship contest with my wife I'd lose every time. There's plenty of guys who want to have sex with her, even guys as young as her kids. Cody was proof of that. At 51 years old Amy's still fairly attractive with short dark hair, a trim body and a pleasant personality.

I'm an average looking older guy, with a slightly receding hairline and holding a little too much weight. I have a good job and I'm okay looking for a 47 year old. But I don't know how many women want an older middle class, married boyfriend. Not many I guess. The contrast between our dating prospects was depressing. She was still hot and I was not.

After a frustrating day in the office I went to the bar for dinner. I stayed away as late as I could. Unfortunately I never got into the bar scene and it was boring being by myself. I wanted to be home with my wife, sipping a beer and snuggling by the TV. Not dousing my sorrows alone in a bar, gulping alcohol surrounded by a bunch of lonely guys like me.

When I got home Amy was already in bed. It wasn't that late. But I guess she just gave up on me getting home. Not that I cared.

The next day was Saturday, which had always been our date night. Friday night was for recuperating after a long week and snuggling at home. Saturday was for doing chores, and in the evening enjoying a nice date with my wife. Unlike every other Saturday night since we married, I had no urge to be out with her.

I woke up early after another difficult sleep. I left the house at dawn and went to Denny's for breakfast. I drove around and did some window shopping, basically wasting as much time as I could. Then I went back home, wondering if my cheating wife was there or out fucking that young bastard at his apartment.

It turned out she was home. She must have heard my car pull up because when I got to the door she opened it and welcomed me with a smile. When she tried to kiss me I turned my head so she hit my cheek. She looked surprised when I pulled away from her embrace and moved past her.

"Welcome home Cliff, I love you."

"Yeah right." I muttered, walking away.

I went into den and flopped down at my desk that I use for working at home sometimes. She followed me.

"I'll have lunch ready in a few minutes Cliff. Would you like a beer while you're waiting?"

"No."

I made myself look busy as I began to check out something on the computer. I didn't hear her leave and knew she was still standing behind me.

"I know you're upset Cliff, and I'm really sorry."

I didn't respond.

"I knew you'd be angry with me, but I had to tell you. I didn't want any secrets between us anymore. I guess I didn't explain it very well. I think we need to discuss it some more, and I'd love to do so after lunch. I do love you honey."

I didn't turn around. Her explanation infuriated me. Talk about what? Her intention to fuck that asshole? I didn't want to even think about that so anything I'd say to her right now would be hurtful. After another minute of silence she walked away mumbling to herself.