A Time to Be Young

"They got my age wrong." he said.

The mayor's wife laughed and that prompted the lawyer to pretend to laugh.

"Well, we got it right eventually." the mayor's wife said. Then acting not as the mayor's wife but rather in her official capacity as the boy's social worker she said "Can I ask for the official time?"

The judge announced the time.

"Are there any objections from the state?" the mayor's wife inquired.

The lawyer shook his head.

"Does the court consent?"

The judge nodded.

The mayor's wife produced a lighter from her pocket and handed it to the boy. "Here you are. Lite them up."

The boy took the lighter and cautious of how he should be doing this he rolled the pages to make a tube and then place them on the concrete path. Then he lit the top on fire and the four of them stood there and witnessed as the boy's custody papers quickly became ash as a symbol of how the state no longer had any claim to him. The final bit of ash being hot and light actually started to rise up as if by magic. The final black ring of ash floated above everyone's heads and eventually landed in the water of the birdbath.

"David Bowman, you are now 19 years old. With the burning of these pages you become a man. You are no longer a ward of the state but are a full adult with all the privileges and responsibilities thereof."

The mayor's wife, the judge, and the lawyer all spent a few moments clapping for the young man. The boy received a pat on the back from the judge and a pen as a present from his now former social worker. She took a few pictures with him with her phone to remember the moment.

"And now it's my favorite part." the judge said as everyone got a cup cake. The lawyer was putting on his most obviously fake smile as he pretended to nibble the side.

Well, they all couldn't stay there all day. The mayor's wife gave David a parting hug and then it was time for everyone to leave to the seemingly great relief of the lawyer. David lingered there in the area and waved at them as one by one they drove away. He was alone, like always but now even more so. The state was gone and they weren't allowed to help him anymore. And then there was his sister but she hadn't come. He guessed he knew she wouldn't. She acted like she didn't even want to know David anymore. It seemed to him that she resented him for something but he couldn't think of what he could have done to make her hate him. But that was life. That was just how it was. People who were required to keep distance from him could tell him over and over again that they cared about him but people who could actually be in his life as something more than their job, well, they all hated him.

Maybe hate was too strong but at least they didn't want that connection to him. He was a stranger and he would always be a stranger. Like that girl from the other day. She just wanted to unload all of her problems onto him but hadn't even asked his name. And now that he wasn't standing right in front of her she likely wouldn't even remember that she'd had the conversation with him.

David wanted to go see his sister. He wanted to go see Jill. It was Friday and he wondered if she worked on Fridays or not. Maybe they had a Friday the 13th special. Or how about a birthday on Friday the 13th special. Surely not many people could claim that kind of birthday and that meant it had to be special, right?

When David got back to the dorm he didn't go back to his room right away. He sat on one of the couches in the lobby and just sulked. He guessed the chemicals that made up his emotional response didn't know that it was his birthday and didn't know that now he was considered free and no longer a ward of the state.

"Hey, son." a voice said to him. David looked up and saw the old man RA standing near him. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"If you're waiting for a girl I'm guessing you just realized she stood you up."

"No, it's not that. I just was hoping I'd be able to see my sister today."

"Does she go here?"

"No but she lives nearby."

"Go see her."

"I would but it's still actually kind of far."

"Is there any reason why you can't call her?"

"No phone."

"You kidding me. There's one of you teenagers with no phone. How do you make it through the day?"

"Apparently it's possible." David said feeling a bit better.

"I got a phone in the booth. You can call her in there if you want."

"You sure?"

"Go ahead."

"Thanks."

"Birthday present for you."

"What? How did you know?"

"I watched the whole thing from the window. It was tough trying to make out which one of those guys was your dad."

David laughed at the thought while he dialed his sister's number.

"Hello." Jill's voice said.

"Hi, Jill. It's me, David."

"Hi." she said with a softer tone. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks. I was hoping I could come see you sometime."

"I wish you could but I'm so busy these days."

"Right. I understand."

"We'll make time soon. One day. OK?"

"Did they tell you about the event today?"

"I heard and I was going to go but I'm sorry. I just got so busy. But like I said we'll try to make time one day. Christmas is right around the corner. It'll be here before we know it."

Christmas. That was six months away. "I understand." David said. "Looking forward to it."

"Thanks. I love you kiddo."

"Yeah. I ... I love you, too."

The call ended and David felt worse than he did before. It wasn't going to happen. He wasn't going to get to see her.

"It can be hard with family." the old man said.

David nodded to acknowledge the truth in what was said. "I really miss her. But she's moved on."

"Wish her well."

"I do."

"I mean, let her go. Wish her well. Love her from afar and know in yourself that it is enough. Ask yourself, do you want to see her so you can make her happy or so she can make you happy?"

"I didn't think of it like that."

"I wasted a long time hoping that the relationships in my life would make me happy when really I should have been the one to make myself happy and then I would have been able to be there to make others happy. Or not. They could be happy on their own without me and I would be happy to know that they were out there being happy."

"Happy either way, huh?"

"Of course. If I was young and could do it over I'd do a lot of things differently but now all I can do is tell you. You be the one to make yourself happy. Don't rely on others and keep yourself from entanglements. If someone out there really wants you in their life, they'll make time for you. And if they don't then you know what that means and you have to wish them well and move on."

...

Jill hung up the phone and then opened her notifications. Nothing. She was alone in the apartment she shared with another waitress. She had no plans for that day. She had had no plans the day before. She had no plans for any of her off time that was coming up. The place where she worked didn't let her work enough hours to be considered for benefits so it meant she had a lot of free time to look for a better job, which she was very consistently not doing or when she did do it not finding.

Jill looked at social media. Nothing. She was alone.

...

After dinner Paul was starting to feel a bit under the weather. He didn't feel so hot and after checking he noticed that he was starting to develop a fever. He wondered what this could be. Had he eaten something that disagreed with him? Or was it the flu. Well, his plan for enjoying a quiet evening watching the newest Bond film would have to be scrapped. He had a mind to walk over to the health center for a check up. He tried to stand from his bed but got too dizzy. He felt whatever this sickness was building and growing but all he could do was lay there quietly suffering until he lost consciousness.

...

David was sitting at his desk feeling sad. This feeling he had, this longing to see his sister again, would it ever go away? Did he want it to go away? It would be wrong to forget her but she was gone. He wished he could do his normal thing of reading through all of his textbooks. He'd done that all through high school and it worked like a charm because the teachers never really diverted from the text too much. But there was no textbook for life. There was no teacher to impress with how much he knew ahead of time. There was just himself as the learner alone and abandoned for the rest of his life.

David looked out the large window to the lake. Maybe he should go outside. Maybe he should go for a swim. Instead he decided to get out some paper, find something to write with and record his thought.

Then he saw a very strange thing. He saw sunlight coming down onto his hand as it rested there on his desk. That shouldn't be possible, not that the sun had set but because the angle of the light meant it had to be coming through the roof. It was likely a reflection off of something but David's curiosity was peeked enough for him to turn.

And there for no reason at all the sun was shining on his face and there was no roof above him at all. He turned back to his desk and saw that it was no longer there. He was still in the chair but as soon as he stood up from it the very existence of the chair melted away into the air and it was gone. All around him for as far as he could see was nothing but sand and rock face.

"Am I dreaming?" he said as he knelt down to get some grains between his fingers and feel the sharp harsh edges. "What is this place supposed to be?"

...

"I am not participating in this." Lilith said to her mother.

"I swear to you, he is here."

"Mom, think about it. If daddy was here I would know about it. He would have come talked to me. He knows he can talk to me."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't hate him like you do."

"Look, young woman. I do NOT hate anyone. I was raised to have a heart full of love for everyone. That man is the one who is hateful and because of his hate he brings hate to himself."

"He's not here, mom, and you shouldn't be here either."

"Why not? I'm just as pretty as any of these girls walking around. Any of these young men would be lucky to get any of my time."

"Right. Anyway, that's not the reason. I need peace mom. Please. So what if he is here."

"Are you hiding him? What has he said to you?"

"Nothing. He's not here."

"He is living in that other building over there."

"I highly doubt that."

"We will walk over there and I will prove it to you."

"Mom, I have had enough. You need to stop."

"I know he's here. I swear it. I demand that you walk with me and see for yourself. See how he's been spying on you and tracking you and planning to do something disgusting to you just to try and hurt me. Won't you ever think of my feelings?"

"Daddy's not going to hurt me mother. That's ridiculous."

"You remember how he put his hands on me, don't you. I could have gone to the police but only because I love him so much I chose not to, to my own detriment. You remember."

"Ok, mother. I'll go with you but if I do you're going to buy me a car."

"A car! Why do you need a car?"

"We'll make a bet. If he's there I'll drop out of school and come home to listen to you all day and all night."

"I am not asking you to drop out of school."

"I'll transfer to get away from him. Will that make you happy?"

"Oh, would you? You have to know he's dangerous. You know what he's like."

"I also know he's not here. So I will go with you and when we both see that he is in fact not here you have to buy me a car. Go ahead. Lead the way."

"I have his address right here. And I know it's him because the investigator saw him."

"Investigator, mother? Why? Just leave him alone."

"He's there and when you see him you have to keep you word and transfer away so he can't steal you from me."

Lilith didn't know if she should laugh or scoff. "I'm an adult, mother. If I want to see daddy, I can make my own decision about it."

"Not this time. You said you'd move."

"Ok. Fine I will. But if he's not there then you have to buy me a car. Whatever car I want no matter how expensive it is."

"I agree but only because I know for a fact that he is there."

Lilith walked with her mother to one of the male dorms. Her mother entered and paused as she looked disgustedly at everything in an attempt to show not only her contempt but her superiority over everyone there. After that brief delay Lilith's mother continued on to the room for the residence assistant and banged angrily on the door. She waited only about two seconds for an answer before banging again. After the second bang she went into her purse to get out her pepper spray.

"Mother, put that away."

"We can't be too careful. I don't know how he conned his way in here but he has no place in civil society. He's little better than an animal acting always on pure aggression and hostility. He's libel to do anything so we have to protect ourselves."

As the door began to slowly open Lilith's mother held up the pepper spray to the door as she got into her fake fear stance. Lilith had to put her hand over the nozzle as she tried to take the weapon away.

"Oh, hi." said a young man's voice. Lilith looked over at him and saw the man with the look of someone who'd been caught red handed on his face.

"Where is he?" Lilith's mother asked as she finally released the pepper spray to Lilith's control.

The young man looked confused. "Who else are you looking for?"

"Paul Jackson." the mother said with venom hanging on every syllable. "I know he's here."

Lilith observed the man as he brought two hands up palms facing in and aimed his fingers at his chest. "What are you talking about? It's me."

The mother was confused for a second and that gave Lilith just enough time to jump in. "You're Paul Jackson?"

The young man stared at Lilith with a look that clearly communicated that he thought she had just gotten off a spaceship from Mars. "It's me." he repeated.

"There's another Paul Jackson who lives here with you." the mother accused.

"Stop it, mother. This is the RA's room." Lilith interrupted.

"So?"

"Single occupancy. He lives alone."

"Ladies." the young man said. "Would one of you please tell me what's going on? What are you doing here?"

Lilith turned to the young man. "I am so sorry to bother you Mr. Jackson. You have a good night. We won't disturb you any more."

"Mr. Jackson? Why would you call me that? What's wrong with you?"

"Mother, let's get out of here. You're pissing him off."

"You're the one who called him Mr. Jackson. Obviously he ... " the mother countered as Lilith had to physically push her away from the door and back to the lobby. The young man stepped out of his room and looked like he might follow so Lilith turned back to him and did an 'I'm sorry' gesture. That stalled the man long enough. Lilith got her mother out of the front doors of the building. It was then that Lilith wanted to have that conversation with her mother about getting a car but the mother was so angry and embarrassed about apparently being wrong that she wouldn't discuss anything. She retreated to her car and drove away with no explanation.

...

Paul sat again on his bed. That was indeed a very strange interaction. He got his phone and had half a mind to call his ex wife to ask her just what in the hell all of that was about. She had no right to show up here. She had no right to bother him. That restraining order worked both ways. He should turn her in. And Lilith. What the hell was that 'Mr. Jackson' bullshit? Of course, with her mother in her ear all the time Lilith likely didn't even see him as her father anymore. She saw him as just some guy with that name. His ex had taken everything else from him, why not his status as 'daddy' as well. Shit, and now that the harpy knew where he was she was likely to show up at all kinds of odd hours to harass him. He'd have to resign as RA and that brought up the living place problem as well as the livelihood problem all over again.

"How had she even found me?" he said out loud.

Pause.

"Huh?"

The sound of his own voice seemed strange in his ear. He put a hand to his throat and forced himself to cough. "My name is ..." he started but didn't complete the sentence. There was something wrong with his voice. He wondered if something might be wrong with his throat so he got up to look in the mirror.

Pause.

Step closer.

Pause.

"Oh shit. Don't freak out. Don't freak out." he told himself. Looking back at him was his face from about 40 or 50 years ago.

"What is happening?" he questioned as he looked around the room. In that moment he realized that his vision was sharper than it had been in at least 20 years. His hands no longer showed the age he carried. He put a hand to his hair. No more gray. It was gone. Even his newly grown out beard was brown with no white in sight.

"I'm dreaming." He looked around and then grabbed his phone to feel the weight of it. "No. I'm awake. I'm hallucinating. Yeah. I have a fever and I'm hallucinating."

He unlocked his phone with the fingerprint but it took more than one try. This was his phone. He took a picture of himself. The hallucination might mess with him while looking in a mirror but a camera has to be true, he thought. He went to his gallery. He didn't take many selfies but there were a handful in there. And right next to them the new photo showed the young teenage face of about 19.

...

Johnny unlocked his dorm room while he carried on his conversation with his girlfriend on the phone.

"No, but when it starts we'll see." he answered her as he didn't want to commit just yet in case there was an opportunity to see that other girl while his girlfriend was preoccupied.

When he entered the room he saw his nerd roommate reading his textbooks. That was so lame. Johnny was really going to have to figure out a way to get rid of this guy. Johnny sat down and took his shoes off. If he had to go to summer school, which was already a huge fucking hassle, and he had to live in the worst dorm room with no windows and no proper ventilation, then the very least they could do for him was let him have his own room instead of sharing with some gimp dweeb.

"I'll see. I can probably go but I'm just not sure yet." he was telling his girlfriend as he took off his socks. Then he reached out from where he was and draped the socks over the back of his roommate's chair. It was a small gesture but one that Johnny hoped would send the message to the little jerk to look for a new room.

Johnny had the idea to lay down on his bed and relax a bit.

"... I mean, you know, because ..." his girlfriend was saying but then he couldn't hear her anymore.

"What?" he tried to say in an effort to get her to repeat herself. However, strangely when he said it he could not hear his own voice. He took the phone from his ear and looked at it.

"Have I your attention?" a menacing voice asked which seemed to radiate towards him from every direction including above and below.

"What?" he tried to say but again couldn't hear himself.

"I am giving you this one chance and one chance only. I will not tolerate a repeat occurrence."

"What the hell is happening?"

"I require that you be a bit faster in understanding. You are to fix what you have done immediately."

Instead of listening, Johnny got up from the bed and was looking around the room trying to say "hello" and see if anyone could hear him. He looked at his phone and according to the screen Jill was still on the call with him. He looked over at his roommate but the roommate was still just looking at his book.

It was then that pain gripped Johnny. It was unlike any other pain he'd ever experienced. He tried to yell out but no sound would leave his lips. The pain was so intense that he was rendered immobile and fell to the floor.