Carry That Weight: Beast Of Burden

I knew it would take a very long time for those shadows to be exorcised. But I was hoping my marriage would be worth it. I was also certain that to put those ghosts to rest it would take outside help and honesty on both our parts.

We started marriage counseling the next week. It took us a couple of false starts before we found a counselor we could both work with. As for honesty? I did confess to Ash I didn't have sex with Amber or anyone else during my trip. It was in our counseling session two days before we were to leave for the Memorial Day family reunion.

At first I wasn't sure if she believed me, but after admitting to the spooning and kissing she finally did. I didn't go into great detail about most things because she didn't want to hear it. I did however tell her about Amber crawling into bed with me naked and groping me. Ash wasn't happy about that, but I thought she was somewhat relieved to hear there hadn't been intercourse. I hadn't realized how deeply it affected her until the next night.

When I came home that evening, the living room was dark except for a dozen candles burning softly. In the middle of the living room was an armless chair sitting in the center of several towels spread out on the floor.

I stepped into the living room and heard music softly playing in the background. A soft, sultry voice came from behind me.

"Welcome home, husband," she cooed.

"Ash, what ..."

"Shh, there'll be two parts to this evening, Tom. Tonight we reclaim what was lost."

I noticed her hair was pulled up and styled. Her makeup made her look incredible, like some kind of a model. She wore a thin silk robe sashed tightly to her body. I could smell my favorite perfume on her as well.

She gently took my hand and led me over to the chair. Turning me around, she slowly began undressing me as she spoke.

"The first part of the evening is mine and I'll be reclaiming my husband... my way. The reason I'm going first is threefold. First, I'm the reason we need to reclaim each other, if I would've sought out my husband instead of allowing another to make me feel desirable again we wouldn't be going through this hell.

"Second, we're about to face a very difficult weekend. There'll be those who will question our resolve and feelings towards one another. I want to make sure we're together on believing this marriage will survive.

"Last and most important, I want my husband to know how I really feel about him. Even though I didn't act like it, he's my life, my everything, and until he throws me away, he's mine and nobody else's.

When she had me completely naked, she sat me down on the chair. She went into the kitchen and came out with a basin of water and a luffa. Setting beside me, she slowly undid the sash on her robe and let it fall open.

Beneath was a skintight black lace and satin teddy. I let out a breathless moan as I slowly scanned this incredible vision standing in front of me.

I was mesmerized by her small pale nipples as they played peek-a-boo while being cradled tightly in lace. The high cut satin arched high on her hips pulling the material tightly between her legs. She grinned then slowly spun around showing me the black satin turned into a thong that connected to the low scooping black mesh which bared her back.

She looked up into my eyes and smiled as she took the luffa and dipped it into the basin of warm water. Gently and meticulously she gave me her ritual cleansing, making sure to cover every inch of me. She gently washed then softly dried me with a towel, leaving small kisses in her wake.

When she dropped to her knees in front of me and I felt my erect cock jump as if trying to reach out for her. She washed my feet, and then slowly moved up my shins and over my thighs until she carefully kissed the head of my throbbing member.

I let out a low guttural moan and laid my head back. I felt her tongue begin to work its way from the base of my cock to the tip, and as I looked down on the woman I'd always loved, she enveloped the head in her warm mouth. Slowly, she took it completely into her mouth as she peered up into my eyes.

I gently ran my hands over her soft shoulders and cupped her jaw as she slowly worked me in and out of her throat. As I felt myself begin to tighten, she suddenly released me and gracefully stood in front of me.

"This is my turn," she whispered seductively.

She reached between her thighs and I heard two small pops and watched the black satin panty part of the teddy open. She slowly lifted the satin flap to show me she was clean-shaven. Her eyes danced as she smiled down at me.

"I've soaked, scrubbed, and shaved every part of me in anticipation of tonight," she explained grinning. "Now..."

She bent over until she was only inches in front of my face. Her big blue eyes bored into me with an intensity which had been missing for many months. I felt her slowly drag her fingernails down my chest and across my abdomen. She took my manhood firmly in her hand and then slowly squeezed until she had my complete attention.

"In case there was a doubt, this is mine," she growled, "not Amber's or Bridgette's or any other bitch in heat. And it'll stay mine until you kick my ass out, understand?"

I glared at her as my anger flared. Her hypocrisy made my blood begin to boil. My first reaction was to tear into her. The anger and pain was intermingled with the passion and desire, it was a confusing and volatile mixture. Slowly reason began to take control. For a year I'd asked her to find a way to try and repair us and for the first time she looked like she'd come up with something. This was something more than just trying to fuck me into submission or placate me with sex. This was deeper, more intense, more painful, more... basic.

She squeezed hard and I nodded slowly. Her eyes watered as she saw both the recognition and acceptance of what was happening in my face.

"Do you understand?" she whispered.

"Yes," replied calmly.

"Good," she softly hissed.

She straddled me and positioned herself over my cock. I could feel her warmth and moisture before she ever lowered herself onto me. When her dripping womanhood first touched me I was surprised at the incredible heat she was generating. That thought was short lived as she slowly impaled herself on me.

I'd never felt her this hot or this wet before. We'd normally have to work me into her the first time, but not tonight. I slid in like I was putting on a satin glove. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and opened her mouth in a silent scream as she bottomed out, resting firmly on my pubic bone.

"Oh god," she breathlessly moaned. "I've been thinking of this all day."

She paused and looked at me and giggled.

"I had to change panties twice today after soaking through both pair," she said sheepishly. "I told you I've been thinking about you all day long."

I could feel her gripping me as she slowly began to rock back and forth. I reached around and grabbed her muscular ass as she ground herself into me. Her breathing became labored as she found her rhythm riding me.

I thought I had my stamina under control until she clamped down with everything she had and drove me even deeper into her. I felt her warmly flood over me before I exploded inside her. She continued to rock back and forth as she pumped every drop of me into her.

She locked her luscious red lips onto mine. Driving her tongue into my mouth, she demanded my tongue dance with her. We kissed and held each other for several minutes before she stood.

"Thank you," she whispered into my ear.

Standing but still straddling me, she smiled and stepped back. Taking my hand she led me around the room blowing out each candle, one by one. She turned on the light over the stairs and began leading me up to a guest bedroom.

On the stairs I froze. Looking up at her I could see my semen starting the run down the inside of her thigh. The image from a year ago began to invade my thoughts.

"Shh, baby," she said quietly, "it's yours, and it'll always be yours as long as we're married."

When we entered the guest bedroom I noticed there were several candles dimly lighting this room as well. She led me over to the bed and gently nudged me onto it. I sat on the edge and she stood in front of me again.

Slowly she let down her hair and it provided a stunning backlit mane which framed her shadowed face. She placed her hand on my chest and gently pushed me onto my back. I felt her wondrous mouth take me again and slowly bring life back into my cock.

When I was fully erect, she crawled atop me again, sitting on my stomach. She leaned forward until her hair fell all around us, hiding our faces.

"Tom," her soft voice wavered, "my part of this night is over but I still need to say some things to you."

I felt a drop of water fall onto my cheek before she sat back and stared down at me. Her tear-streaked face glowed in the candlelight. The room was dim but there was enough light for me to see both fear and determination written in her face.

"Tom, I'm so sorry I betrayed you. I would do anything to try and make the pain go away. This last year has been hell. I'm so..."

Her voice began to break.

"I'm so incredibly lost without you. I need to have you back again. Please baby, I'm asking... no, I'm begging you to decide to make me yours again... by whatever means you need to."

I slid my hands around her ass and slowly trace my fingers down her sculpted crack. I ran a finger across her rosebud and saw her eyes widen even in the dimly lit room.

"Whatever... however you need to do it," she whispered her voice trembling.

I thought about it for a moment before deciding against it. She'd tried to fuck me back into this marriage for the past year and it hadn't worked so there was no way I was going to ass rape my wife into submission. At best it would make her my sex slave, my fuck toy, my subservient wife, in short, someone very different from my Ash.

My Ash had been my equal, my lover, and my companion. She had many caveats to her personality, she could be warm and gentle or determined and single-minded. She'd always been a complex woman. Submissive wasn't one of her usual traits, however. She'd reserved that as a sexual fantasy we'd played with only once or twice.

I knew we'd explore those fantasies much deeper someday and someday soon. But right now it wasn't what I wanted or what she wanted or what our marriage needed. I wanted my Ash back, the girl I'd loved for close to twenty years. She'd been my friend, my lover, the one I'd trusted to watch my back. However that girl was gone, dead, and now this damaged, flawed woman wanted to take her place. To do so, she needed to validation as mine. She needed to be fucked, to be claimed, not abused.

"Another time,' I said sliding my hands out of her crack. "But make no mistake, it'll be very soon."

She let out a soft sigh and I could see a small smile dancing on her lips. She gently stroked my face then leaned over and kissed me like she hadn't in many, many years. It wasn't a kiss of desperation or even of passion and desire, it was something more. It was a kiss that one gives when totally surrendering their heart, their body, their soul to their lover.

Our tongues danced as I felt our passion grow again. My cock began to throb as my erection started to become painful. I could feel Ash's small hard nipples through the lace teddy as she dragged them over my chest.

I squeezed her taunt ass and pulled her into me causing her to moan softly in my mouth. I felt her hands running through my hair, gently grasping at it as she pulled my tongue deeper into her mouth. Her breathing was beginning to shorten as her desire began to overtake her. There was an animalistic quality to her desire, a primal need to mate.

"Take me," she panted softly in my ear. "Claim me as your own again."

I rolled over, pushing her off my chest even as she gripped me with her legs. We ended up with me kneeling over her while she lay on the bed with her legs still wrapped around my waist.

I glared down at her. My lust and desire mixed with my anger and pain. Her eyes were filled with both lust and fear.

"You're mine goddammit!" I sneered at her. "I shouldn't have to fucking reclaim you!"

"I know and you're right," she whispered as tears filled her eyes, "you shouldn't have to, but I fucked up badly and let another man soil me. I can't tell you how I regret being so shallow, being so damn stupid.

"Please Tom," she quietly begged, "please make me yours again!"

I reached down and grabbed ahold of lace bodice of the teddy. With a vicious jerk I tore it in two allowing Ash's breasts to fly free. She gasped then softly moaned as I bent over and roughly nuzzled her tits. I suckled and licked, making sure I circled each nipple with my tongue.

When I lightly nipped at each pebble, Ash whimpered and squirmed.

"Yes... oh god... yes... just like... oh fuck... oh yes," she panted.

When I positioned myself between her legs and guided my throbbing manhood to her entrance, she lifted her hips up to give me easier access. With a grunt, I slid completely into her with one long slow stroke. I felt her entire body quiver as she let out a soulful moan.

She arched her back and threw her arms to the side, grabbing fistfuls of the sheets. Her eyes were squeezed tightly and her mouth was open in a silent groan as I began pumping in and out of her.

At over forty, I knew I wasn't going to cum quickly a second time so I proceeded to find a rhythm I could maintain for a while. Ashley, however, was throwing everything she had into our coupling. I knew she wasn't holding anything back and was totally lost in her desire.

I began to quicken the pace and my thrusts grew more and more violent. Ash's gasps meddled with my grunts as we began to create our own duet. She threw her arms around me a couple of times as I felt her body tense and she raked my back with her fingernails.

"Yesss," she hissed, "yours... I'm yours."

Surprisingly I soon found myself racing towards my own edge and I began pounding into her with everything I had. I shocked myself by growling at her with every thrust.

"Never... again... never... fucking... again... Ash... I...I..."

I let out a primal roar as I exploded into her so hard it hurt. Ashley gasped out something unintelligible and continued to grind into me with her hips. I continued to pump a few more times before her body went rigid as she let out a shriek and came more violently than I'd ever remembered. Her juices gushed around me as they intermingled with my own.

She then wrapped her entire body around me and clung so tightly I thought I was in bed with a python. I felt her body flinch with each aftermath before she finally grew eerily quiet. Then her body shuddered and I could feel her soft sobs.

"Never," she cried whispering in my ear, "never again."

"Ash," I said my I own tears beginning to fall, "I'll die if it ever happens again. My heart couldn't survive this twice."

"I promise, baby," she cried, "I swear, I'll never hurt us like that again."

We held each other for a long time, each of us exorcising our demons. Ash began crying again and it soon turned into gut wrenching, heart breaking weeping. She poured out all of her pent up pain and fears, anger and shame as we cradled each other.

Later as I held her she confessed she should've known I wouldn't have slept with Amber without filing for divorce first. She'd prayed that was the case but hadn't allowed herself to hope for it.

Looking me in the face with her big blue eyes she swore her love and devotion for me again. I swore my love back to her as well. I also apologized for going as far as I did with Amber and for keeping Ash at a distance for the past year.

That night was a breakthrough for us. It was a release of all the fears and anger, doubts and frustrations. There'd been a passion and a vulnerability which we hadn't shared since well before our year in hell. In truth, it was the real beginning to the healing of our marriage.

****

We ended up going to the Memorial Day family reunion but Jeff and Amber weren't there. I hadn't really appreciated Agnes' assessment of the situation at the time, but shortly after we arrived I certainly did! The Connor elders descended upon Ash and I like vultures.

Jeff and Ash's fling was already a hot gossip topic throughout the family, and the rumors about Amber and my revenge trip were spreading quickly. With Agnes' help, Ash and I gave a rehearsed united front telling everyone we had problems but were trying to work through them together. It seemed to work and for the most part the family showed its support for us.

Of course, we were both constantly bombarded by family members seeking to give their advice. It would've been comical if our marriage still hadn't been so fragile. An eighty-year-old man that I think was Ash's second cousin pulled me to the side, slapped me on the back, and congratulated me. He told me the revenge week was a stroke of genius. He also advised me to make sure I kept a little hottie on the side in case Ash slipped again. However he did warn me to make sure she wasn't another Connor.

Amber's mother seemed to echo Andrea's thoughts and felt the need to express her disappointment in mine and Amber's choice of revenge. She understood the reasoning, but thought our actions had further damaged our marriages. She did wish me the best and hoped my marriage survived.

Amber's maternal great uncle was a little less diplomatic in his thoughts. He said I should've 'just kicked the whore to the curb' and married Amber. When I reminded him Ash was his great niece as well, he simply shrugged and walked away.

After hearing their varying thoughts, I came to the realization that the old adage was right. Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one.

Ash was also getting an ear full, as well, although most of it was pretty harsh. There was one time I saw her mouth drop open when she was talking to one of the ninety year-old matriarchs. I cornered her afterwards and asked what the woman had said.

Ash blushed slightly and gave me a sheepish smile.

"She said," Ash whispered, "that love may last a lifetime but a good, hard cock never does and I should grab as many as I could in life!"

I snorted my drink through my nose.

"Well?" I said softly after gathering myself, "and what do you think of her advice?"

Ash stared at me with a very serious look on her face and gazed deep into my eyes. I was reminded again that she was and always would be the most beautiful woman in the world to me.

"Right now, your love is all I'm after ... but your hard cock would be nice to have again soon, even though I am still a little sore!"

We both chuckled.

After that weekend, we heard rumors Jeff and Amber's marriage was deteriorating rapidly. I wanted to check on Amber but the dynamics of this twisted situation made it difficult. It was a couple more weeks before I was able to arrange a meeting.

Ash wasn't happy with my meeting with Amber but I made it known I wasn't going to simply abandon Amber and Amy. To avoid any appearance of inappropriate behavior, I set up our meeting in a public place.

****

I arrived at the restaurant at noon, only to find my lunch date already seated and nursing a glass of wine. She looked stunning in her sun dress, only her face showed the sadness and worry she was struggling with.

"Hey beautiful" I said smiling. "Haven't I seen you before?"

Her face brightened and she laughed.

"Well actually, sir," she said in a low sultry voice, "you've seen a lot more of me than I'm showing today!"

I blushed as she burst into a small fit of laughter.

"Damn Tom, have I told you you're so good for a girl's ego!"

I smiled.

"Yeah, I've heard that once or twice."